


Prisoners of War Part I

by XpaperplaneX



Series: Prisoners of War [1]
Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Anal Sex, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Masturbation, Romance, Smut, Torture, Violence, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-05
Updated: 2010-06-21
Packaged: 2017-10-18 16:45:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 28
Words: 110,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/191027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XpaperplaneX/pseuds/XpaperplaneX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cloud and Sephiroth are taken prisoner by AVALANCHE. No one, least of all themselves, could have expected what it would set in motion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally posted on the FFVII Anonymous Kink Meme was the first piece of fiction I had written in a very long time. Like since they stopped making you write stories in elementary school. A very kind person reviewed and asked me to write a sequel so that's why I'm posting this here. This chapter has been edited a bunch although nothing is greatly changed about the story itself. Just a few word changes here and there and some mistakes were fixed. The disappearing chain has now reappeared! Huzzah! On with the story now...
> 
> The prompt is posted at the end of the chapter, as it's rather spoilery.

Sephiroth woke with a pounding headache and no idea of where he was or how he got there. The room was dark and he was sitting upright in some sort of metal chair. He was completely naked and his arms and legs were bound to the chair. After testing his bonds, it appeared that whoever had taken him captive had planned for someone of SOLDIER strength. The bonds were solid, probably enhanced with materia; Sephiroth figured he would probably be able to break them eventually, but it would take time.

His head was beginning to clear, so he tried to remember what had happened. Who had been stupid enough to capture ShinRa's Silver General? And why would someone want to take that risk? Most organizations, despite how much they might hate him, didn't feel that the risk was worth the rewards. He had been leading a patrol through the slums when they had been attacked. He remembered drawing Masamune, seeing a flash of green light and then...? Nothing. It must have been some sort of new materia combination. Hojo would have a field day once he got back to headquarters. Sephiroth let out a soft groan at the thought.

Suddenly the room was flooded with light and Sephiroth couldn't help but flinch at the assault on his enhanced vision. "So you've finally decided to wake up, General," an unknown male voice echoed through the room. "We've been waiting for you."

Sephiroth said nothing. He wasn't about to acknowledge his captors who should have realized that he had actually woken up several minutes ago. He did take the opportunity to look at his surroundings. It looked like he was in a small warehouse; there were boarded up windows near the ceiling, and while he'd probably be able to get up there, he doubted he would actually fit through the window. There was a small table against the wall to his right, but other than that, the room was empty. A door in the wall across from him opened with a bang and a man in his thirties with dark brown hair and a scar across his right cheek strode in. The man was wearing a faded hodgepodge of various military uniforms and smelled of cigarettes and the ever-present stench of the slums. Pulling out a cigarette, he lit it and blew the smoke in Sephiroth's face.

"You have some information we need, General Sephiroth," the man placed a sarcastic emphasis on his title. "The location where Elfé is being held, specifically. Also the security details of her location would be helpful." He paused and leered at him. "If you don't mind, that is."

So it was AVALANCHE he was dealing with, interesting, although he had been expecting a retaliation of some sort, he just didn't think they'd be this bold about it. Sephiroth snorted, "I think I do mind, actually." Let them torture him; nothing they could come up with could hold a candle to the pain inflicted upon him in Hojo's labs.

"Thought you might say that. Oh well, it's more fun this way." He flicked the lit cigarette at Sephiroth and it bounced off his chest and onto the floor. He then turned away and made a gesture at the still open door. "Bring him in!" he shouted.

There were scuffling sounds from the hallway and two burly men filled the doorway. So they were bringing in bruisers; people were such idiots sometimes. Like they would actually be able to hurt him. It was then that Sephiroth noticed the smaller form struggling between the two. It was a young man wearing a ShinRa army uniform. His wrists were cuffed behind his back and his legs were connected by a short length of chain. The kid couldn't have been much older than fifteen or sixteen and had wild blond hair that spiked erratically. In the places it wasn't matted down with caked blood, that was. The kid looked up and his bright blue eyes were wide with terror and shock.

"General Sephiroth, sir," he breathed, "They caught you too?" He seemed shocked that such a thing was possible. Anything else he might have said was cut off as the bruisers threw him down on the cold concrete in front of Sephiroth.

"We figured torturing _you_ would be a pointless endeavour," the scarred man said as he shut the door once again. "So we're going to see just how heartless you really are. I think Private Strife here is anxious to find out, too." He gestured towards the boy on the ground.

Strife... Sephiroth pondered the name, he had heard it mentioned somewhere before. His musings were interrupted, however, as one of the bruisers stepped forward and planted a solid kick in the kid's back before placing his foot on his neck and pressing down.

"You just have to say the word, General." The man leered again.

"Don't worry about me, sir, don't tell them anything," Strife choked out.

"Let's just see how long he keeps up that heroic attitude, shall we?" The bruisers moved in, kicking and punching anything they could reach while Strife curled into a ball in an attempt to protect his vital organs from their vicious assault.

Sephiroth was impressed; he certainly didn't look like much. Smaller than most boys his age, he had a frail, waifish look to him. But he didn't scream or beg once. Granted, these men were just getting started, but he hoped that Strife would be able to handle it. It wasn't that he didn't care; Sephiroth simply could not give up such valuable information for the sake of one private.

Apparently their captor was impressed too; he called the thugs off and crouched down beside the boy who immediately attempted to kick him. "Hey, hey there, kid! Don't try anything stupid." One of the bruisers stepped up again and brought his foot down on Strife's ankle with a crunching noise and left it there, pinning that leg in place. Strife's held-back scream made Sephiroth wince in sympathy.

"So you think you're pretty tough, do you? You look like you're used to this sort of thing," the man all but purred before taking a set of keys out of his pocket. After commanding the second brute to hold Strife's arms, the man unlocked the cuffs and took hold of his right hand. He held it out towards Sephiroth as if it was some sort of offering. "Lovely hands, don't you think? Looks like quite a few calluses from sword training; he must have worked awfully hard to get this far. ShinRa doesn't train the regular army to use swords, do they, General? He must practice in his spare time. That's pretty dedicated, if you ask me." The man paused in running his hand over Strife's fingers. "Too bad," he stated bluntly before grabbing hold of Strife's index finger and twisting while wrenching it backwards. "I'd hate to destroy someone's dream."

Strife couldn't contain his scream this time as his finger was broken and there were tears in his eyes as he looked up at Sephiroth. "I'm sorry," was all Sephiroth could think of to say. He kept eye contact with Strife as the remaining fingers on his sword hand were broken and hoped the look he conveyed was one of sympathy. He wouldn't look away from the pain he was causing to one of his own men.

Sephiroth watched stoically as Strife was finally allowed to collapse back on the ground, cradling his useless hand. He was gasping for breath in between sobs. Sephiroth struggled silently against his restraints; these men weren't going to stop until he either gave them what they wanted or managed to escape.

As if reading his mind, their captor smirked down at Sephiroth's struggling. "You have the power to stop this, you know that, right?"

"You're a sick bastard," Sephiroth snarled.

The man shrugged. "Okay. Strip him," he commanded while walking over to the edge of the room and picking something up off the small table. The man turned back to Strife's naked, cringing form and let the tail of the whip he was holding fall to the ground with smack that caused Strife to curl up even further.

The first crack of the whip caused a thin red welt to appear on his smooth back and a shudder to run through his body. The man started laying down more welts; he obviously knew how to handle a whip. He was causing pain, but not striking hard enough to break the skin. He glanced up at Sephiroth, who glared back.

"You're a lot more cold-blooded than I imagined." With that statement he started laying into Strife with a vengeance. The whip was breaking Strife's skin now; blood was beginning to run down his body and pool on the floor. His cries filled the room with each strike. Sephiroth was shocked that Strife hadn't yet begun begging him to make it stop. The kid was far stronger than he could have possibly imagined.

Eventually the man seemed to tire of whipping Strife. He stepped back and admired his handiwork. Cuts laced his back, sides and buttocks. Rivers of crimson connected and formed an elaborate lacework of pain. Looking both pleased with what he had accomplished and annoyed at Sephiroth's unwillingness to cooperate, the man unlocked the chain connecting his legs and grasped the sobbing boy by his hair, which was still attempting to maintain its proud spikes.

He dragged Strife upwards and towards Sephiroth before shoving him face first into Sephiroth's naked lap. "What the fuck are you doing!?" Sephiroth demanded.

Ignoring him, the man spoke to Strife instead, "Suck. Make him hard. Unless you'd rather I see what other bones I can break." With that, the man stepped back from his captives, awaiting Strife's decision.

The trembling figure chanced a glance upwards at his general. His bright blue eyes, shining with tears, seemed to be asking for permission. Permission to avoid further pain. Sephiroth had a feeling he knew what was coming, but softened his gaze as best he could and slowly nodded his head anyway. While Sephiroth was by no means small, it probably wouldn't be as bad as his other options.

The boy blinked and lowered his head, looking far too young and vulnerable. What was ShinRa thinking, hiring children to fight for them? Sephiroth felt shaky breathing near his manhood, as Strife seemed to gather up his courage. At the first tentative lick he felt himself twitch in response. "It's okay," he whispered. "You can do this, just don't think about it. You're doing great."

Strife licked at the tip of his penis a couple more times before using his uninjured hand to lift up the still-flaccid organ. He ran his tongue down the bottom, along the thick vein. Sephiroth focused on the boy, imagining that it was just the two of them, that it was just the nervousness of a virgin, not the threat of more pain that had him trembling. He imagined running his hands through that hair and delving his tongue into that tiny mouth. He felt himself hardening as the boy continued licking and stroking the base of his cock. His left hand didn't have many calluses and was delightfully soft as it ran up and down his shaft.

As Strife finally wrapped his lips around the head of his cock and began sliding them down, Sephiroth sucked in his breath. He obviously had little experience, probably none, but he was trying hard and doing remarkably well considering the circumstances. The combination of Strife's ministrations and Sephiroth's imagination soon had him fully erect. It helped that the trooper had many of the qualities Sephiroth looked for in a partner. Had they met in another situation, Sephiroth might have pursued the boy as a potential lover.

Strife took him as far into his mouth as he could and swallowed, causing Sephiroth to groan inadvertently. Seemingly encouraged, the boy swallowed again before tightening his lips and dragging them back up while gently sucking. He let go with a small pop and tongued the slit that was beginning to leak pre-come.

Sephiroth felt, rather than saw, the approach of their captor and a feeling of dread gathered in his stomach. He couldn't let this happen! But what choice did he have? The capture of Elfé had been a joint operation between SOLDIER and the Turks, costing the lives of half-a-dozen men. He couldn't throw that away to spare one person, could he?

As Sephiroth waged his internal debate, the man grabbed Strife by the hair again and hauled him back. "That's enough!" he barked and Sephiroth didn't fail to notice the hint of lust in his voice. The man motioned one of the brutes over. "Are you a virgin, pretty?" he asked Strife.

Strife's eyes got noticeably larger as their captor held Sephiroth's erection steady and the brute gripped his waist, half pushing, half carrying him towards it. "No! No! Please, no!" Strife panicked and tried to lash out and get away as his knees were bent and he was lowered down. The brute's strength was simply too overwhelming and Strife screamed as he was forcefully breached.

"Please, sir! Please make them stop! I can't! I can't do this, please!"

The boy was so tight that it was painful as the head of Sephiroth's engorged cock was forced into his unprepared passage. His head swam from the heat of it before he was brought back to reality by the pleas he was hearing. "I'm so sorry, I can't allow them to have the information. I'm sorry," he repeated. Strife screamed again as the man shoved down hard on his shoulders, impaling him fully on Sephiroth's cock.

"Try to relax as much as you c—" Sephiroth's words were cut off by the man backhanding Strife, causing his head to snap back.

"That's enough talking, General." The scarred man stepped back to his position a few paces to the left of his captives, and then addressed Strife. "Ride him," was the simple command.

Still sobbing, Strife braced his uninjured hand on the armrest near Sephiroth's hand. He slowly lifted his shaking body and let it fall back down a couple of times. It felt good, certainly, being encased in such tight heat. What could only be blood was starting to make the movement a little easier, but there was no rhythm to Strife's movements, just the irregular slapping of flesh as he allowed his body to drop again and again. If they didn't do this properly, their captors would, without a doubt, get bored quickly and come up with something else.

Chancing a glance at the man to his left, Sephiroth was unsurprised to see the bastard fondling himself. Hoping he was sufficiently distracted, he turned his head away from him and slowly extended his fingers, brushing gently against Strife's own. "Breathe, just take a deep breath and try to relax," he murmured softly so that only Strife could hear. "It's okay, it's just you and me. There's no one else, close your eyes."

Strife appeared to follow his directions, closing his eyes and taking a couple of deep, shuddering breaths. He felt his body relax ever so slightly. "That's it," he encouraged, "Shift your hips towards me a little and lower yourself down slowly. You can do it." The boy did so and gasped as something was brushed inside him and momentarily tightened before relaxing his muscles even further.

"Good, try it again." Sephiroth glanced at their captor again, noting the hand down his pants as he stared at the connection between his and Strife's bodies. The thugs appeared to be equally distracted. Good, he tried to convince himself. It was a good thing.

A soft, but slightly panicked whine brought his attentions back to the boy on his lap. Noticing his growing erection and rising tension, Sephiroth quickly resumed his murmuring.

"Shh, it's okay. I know you don't want this; you can't help your body's reactions. We're just trying to make it hurt less, okay?" He brushed his fingertips again and felt encouraged as Strife repositioned his hand and gripped Sephiroth's. Strife's movements were easier now, a more natural rhythm was building and Sephiroth found himself truly appreciating the feeling of the hot flesh wrapped around his own. Heat began pooling in his groin and his breathing quickened. Strife's slow pace was keeping his climax at bay for now, however, so he focused on testing his restraints again.

Holding Strife's hand so he wouldn't think he was trying to get out of his grip, Sephiroth strained against the bonds. He was sure he should be able to break them, he just needed... A plan came to mind, but it would require Strife's cooperation.

"What's your first name, Strife?" he questioned softly.

"C—Cloud, sir."

Cloud Strife... now he remembered, that was the name of Zack's friend. The kid he was mentoring who showed so much potential. Shit. "Cloud," he said, "I have a plan to get us out of here, but I need your help, okay? Can you help me?"

Cloud paused, seemingly shocked that General Sephiroth would need his help. "I—I'll try, sir."

"Good, I need you to keep doing what you're doing, but move a little faster and make some noise. Moan like you're enjoying it. Be loud enough for these perverts to hear you."

It was clearly not the sort of help Cloud was expecting to be asked for, but he followed his orders like a good soldier. His pace quickened, giving Sephiroth the speed he need to achieve climax and his somewhat forced moans also had the desired effect. The brunet shoved his pants down around his ankles as he masturbated himself faster. Sephiroth put his enhanced senses to use and listened carefully for the sounds signalling the man's approaching climax.

He filled his mind's eye with images of Cloud writhing beneath him in actual pleasure, come splashing over his stomach and chest, cries of ecstasy as the boy came. He thought of how Cloud would clench his muscles in an involuntary reaction to the pleasure, squeezing him tight, milking him as...

Sephiroth came with a yell. Emptying his seed into Cloud's passage, the sudden surge of endorphins and adrenaline gave him the boost he had been hoping for. The pleasure of it was nearly overwhelming, but Sephiroth forced himself to keep his head. He surged against his bonds just as the pervert watching them yelled out his own climax. The bonds around his arms snapped and he wrapped his right arm around Cloud and launched himself out of the chair with the other, kicking furiously as he did so to break his legs free. It all happened so quickly his erection was still spurting as he pulled it none-too-gently from Cloud's ass.

"Hold on to me, Cloud. Let's get out of here."

Cloud wrapped his arms around Sephiroth, burying his face in his chest and clutching his left hand tightly in the Sephiroth's long hair. Sephiroth mused briefly on the fact that no one had ever dared do that before.

Sephiroth gave himself a mental shake and took two long strides over to where the man was staring in shock at the oncoming wrath while trying vainly to pull up his pants. His mouth moved wordlessly as Sephiroth decided that efficiency was probably the best way to deal with the scum, though not the most satisfying. But he had to admit, the man's chest did make a satisfying sort of crunch when he punched it hard enough to cave it in.

The two thugs had conveniently gotten the door open by the time Sephiroth made it over to them. After quickly dispatching them and checking for additional enemies in the hallway, he made his way down the corridor, checking each door he came across. He eliminated a few more enemies and eventually found the room where his personal effects had been placed.

Sephiroth sat Cloud down carefully on a chair and extracted his hand from his hair with some difficulty. He pulled on his pants and boots and strapped Masamune to his back, then turned and took in the sight of Cloud. He was rocking slowly and tears were streaming down his face. His eyes were wide, but didn't appear to be taking in his surroundings. Various cuts and bruises littered his body and his right hand was clutched tightly to his chest; the now useless digits were swollen to twice their normal size. The mixture of drying blood and semen running down his legs was hard to look at. He did that, Sephiroth berated himself. He took his duster and wrapped it gently around the boy's shoulders. The act seemed to bring Cloud out of whatever mental state he had fallen into.

"Sir, you can't," he whispered. "I'll get blood on it."

Sephiroth couldn't help but chuckle a tiny bit at that; he had raped the boy, caused him to be beaten viciously and Cloud was concerned about getting blood on his coat? "I think ShinRa can afford to buy me a new one," he said gently, before scooping him up again. Cloud seemed to automatically fist his hand in Sephiroth's hair again and curled up against him. "Ready to go home, Cloud?"

His only response was a momentary tightening of the hand in his hair. He supposed that was good enough, and strode quickly towards the building's exit and freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:  
> Somehow Cloud and Sephiroth (among other soldiers who were on the mission) are prisoners of war. Whoever you decide captures them (whether it be Wutai or rebel factions, it doesn't mater) needs information from Sephiroth. You can make it be information on the whereabouts of someone, or a code or whatever. Sephiroth, being the loyal general that he is, won't crack easy. Since Cloud is young and a private, his captors bring him forward and torture him in front of Sephiroth, promising to stop if they get the information that they want. My kink is mangling, but if that's too much to write, then simple tortures will be okay. I'd like to see the captors force Cloud on Sephiroth too. Also--as if I'm not too specific already--it would be nice to see either one of their thoughts on the other during sex, but other than this they have had no previous relationship other than canon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the second installment of the terribly named Prisoners of War. I should never be allowed to name anything.

Sephiroth moved at a brisk pace as he exited the building, which let out into an empty lot in the slums. He quickly crossed it, dodging trash, abandoned cars, and various other debris as he went. At the edge of the lot, he turned and looked back at the building where they had been held. It was one of those squat buildings that had offices in the front and a small warehouse in the back. It looked like it had been abandoned for many years. Then again, the same could be said for most everything in the slums. He turned back and began scanning the area for someplace relatively secluded.

Fortunately, there were very few people in the area. And those that were around were in no shape to notice anything, if the abandoned liquor bottles and needles next to them were anything to go by. It was probably why this particular location had been chosen by AVALANCHE. He spotted a run-down shack sort of construction across the street. It was really more of a lean-to with a tin roof than anything else, but it would do.

Sephiroth made his way over to the shelter and checked inside. Finding no one, he slipped in. The boy in his arms had passed out, most likely a combination of pain and exhaustion. Setting him down carefully on the floor, Sephiroth peeled back the duster in order to gain a better assessment of Cloud's injuries. After rummaging briefly through its pockets, he came up with his PHS and the mastered Restore materia he always kept on him. He considered his options. He could heal the cuts and bruises, but the broken bones would take a proper doctor. If they weren't set properly, Cloud would definitely be crippled for life. He also needed to call headquarters as soon as possible. They would probably be in a state of panic over his disappearance by now.

Headquarters could wait, he decided. Cloud was still suffering and something needed to be done about that _now_. Sephiroth reached out his hand to his back, preparing to cast the spell, when he hesitated. There was going to be an inquiry into this; what if they wanted evidence of all of his injuries? Would they take his word for it? Knowing ShinRa, probably not. He grabbed his PHS, turned it on, and quickly snapped a few pictures. He was glad that Cloud was still passed out; knowing there was photographic evidence of what had happened probably wouldn't do much to ease his mind.

Sephiroth gently lay his hands on Cloud's back and cast Cure, watching as the skin slowly started to knit itself back together. The sensation, unfortunately, roused Cloud from his sleep. His eyes flew open and he started to thrash around in a panic.

"Shh, shh," Sephiroth attempted to calm him. "It's okay, we're safe now. I'm just healing you up before we do anything else. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise."

Cloud's eyes darted suspiciously around the shack where they were holed up. Not seeing anyone else in the vicinity, his panicked look faded slightly. "Safe?" he managed to croak out.

"That's right, we're safe. May I finish healing what I can?" Sephiroth felt it was best to have permission before touching the traumatized boy again.

After receiving a shaky nod, he continued his work, healing the surface damage with a clinical efficiency until he reached Cloud still-bleeding rectum. He hesitated; he had no idea what sort of damage he may have caused or how to go about healing it. He had always been careful with his past partners, the worst they had ever suffered was some sore muscles in the morning. What if he let something heal the wrong way in his ignorance? That would be worse than waiting, he was sure. "Cloud, I'm going to leave the rest for the doctors to take care of, okay?"

"Y—you mean, they'll kn—know?" Cloud looked terrified at the thought.

Sephiroth took a deep breath; he was _not_ good at this sort of thing and he knew he had to do it properly. He found himself thanking every god that he could think of that he had met Zack, who had taught him a lot about how regular people think. "Yes, they'll know, but they would have to know whether I heal you now or not." He reached out and laid a hand on the young soldier's head. "What happened wasn't your fault and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You know that, right?" He kept his voice gentle, yet firm, as he stroked Cloud's hair in what he hoped was a comforting manner. "You were extremely brave, I'm so proud to have someone like you serving in my army. And I'm so sorry that this had to happen to you. You did _not_ deserve it. Do you understand?"

Cloud stared at him for a few moments with those beautiful blue eyes, "I—yes, I think so, sir. You... you thought I was brave?" he sounded a little amazed at the idea.

Sephiroth nodded solemnly. "Yes, I do think you're brave. Very much so." With that, he wrapped the coat back around him, covering his nakedness and picked up his PHS. "I'm going to call headquarters and have them send a team to pick us up," he informed Cloud. "Do you want me to request that Zack come as well?"

Cloud's eyes lit up briefly before darkening once again. "That's okay, sir. I'm sure he wouldn't want to be bothered."

"Are you sure? I'm certain he won't—" Sephiroth cut himself off as understanding dawned on him. Cloud wanted to see his friend, but was worried about his reaction. "Zack will understand," he said with certainty. "I can promise you that he won't think any less of you for this. I think it would be good if he came."

"I guess," Cloud's voice was barely more than a whisper, "If you think so."

"I do. I'll be right back, okay?"

Sephiroth stepped out of the shack and looked at his phone. Reception was never very good in the slums so he walked back towards the open area, searching for a signal. He turned back towards the shack in order to keep an eye on it as a couple of bars appeared on the display. Within seconds it began ringing, the call display showing it was Zack. Hoping he would be able to get a word in edgewise, he reluctantly answered.

"Where the hell are you!?" His best friend's voice rang through his ears. "Do you have any idea how worried I've been!? You've been missing for hours! What the fuck happened? Your patrol unit came back all shot to shit and Cloud's missing! Do you know where he is? What if he's hurt?"

"Zack," Sephiroth tried to interrupt the onslaught unsuccessfully. "Zack!" Maybe shouting would work. "Lieutenant Fair! Shut the hell up! That's an order!" Silence fell on the other end of the line. "Thank you. I need you to have my location traced and send a rescue team. I want you to accompany them. Corporal Strife could use a friend."

"Cloud's with you? Wait a sec, Cloud's a private," Zack sounded confused.

"Field promotion," Sephiroth said simply. "Now are you going to carry out my orders? He could also use some medical attention."

"On it, sir!" Sephiroth overheard the orders being relayed and the ding of an elevator. "How bad is it?" came the hesitant inquiry.

Sephiroth gave a quick explanation of what had happened, leaving out the specifics of Cloud's torture. He wasn't sure he could deal with that just yet. He had to warn Zack, though; he knew that shock could be easily misunderstood. He misunderstood it all the time. “He's a bit nervous about seeing you." Sephiroth hesitated before saying, “He was raped. He's worried about how you'll react so please try to be understanding."

There was a moment's silence then, "Raped? Who? Who the _fuck_ was it!? I'll kill them!" Zack had started shouting.

"The people who captured us are dead," he said. "Do you have my location yet? I should get back to Strife; I had to leave him alone so I could get a signal. He's probably frightened."

"Yeah, we've got it, take care of Cloud till I get there, will you?"

"I will." Sephiroth hung up the phone and started heading back to the shack. Zack was going to kill him. He was sure that pure rage would have no problem tearing even him apart. He didn't want to deceive his friend, or even hide what he had done, but he just couldn't deal with it right now. And it was true; Cloud was probably terrified to be alone and pretty much helpless.

"Cloud, I'm back," he called out softly before entering. It wouldn't do to startle him. He was exactly where Sephiroth had left him, clutching the coat like a security blanket. Sephiroth crouched down next to him. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm okay, sir. Is Zack coming?" Cloud's voice kept cracking and Sephiroth wished he had some water to give him. A throat, sore from screaming and crying, was just one more misery on top of everything else.

"Yes, they'll be here soon. Do you want to wait outside with me?"

Cloud nodded and started struggling, trying to get to his feet. Sephiroth quickly laid a hand on his shoulder. "You can't walk on that ankle, Corporal. I'll carry you." His tone left no room for argument. He helped Cloud extract his arms so he wouldn't risk crushing his right hand then picked up the bundle and stepped outside.

"Corporal?" the soft voice next to his ear asked.

"Yes, it was decided that you should receive a promotion for your heroism and bravery."

"Oh. Thank you, sir." Cloud fell silent until another question occurred to him, "How did you know that I know Zack, sir?"

"He's mentioned you quite a bit," Sephiroth replied. "He's rather enthusiastic about your progress and feels compelled to share. I didn't recognize you at first because he always refers to you as Cloud... or Spiky."

Cloud blushed and buried his face in Sephiroth's chest. "He calls me that, sir?"

"Yes, he does. And you can drop the 'sir'. There's no need for formality just now."

"Yes, sir."

Sighing, Sephiroth adjusted his grip on the boy in his arms. He was glad he had convinced Cloud to have Zack come, although the energetic lieutenant probably would have come anyway; he had a habit of showing up when he was needed, but not necessarily wanted. He knew that Cloud would feel better to have someone he trusted with him. He was undoubtedly just tolerating Sephiroth's presence because he had no other choice. After all, who would want to be comforted by someone who had not only allowed them to be violated like that, but had also been the one to do it?

The sound of engines approaching interrupted his musings; the rescue squad had arrived. Two trucks and an ambulance made their way through the debris-strewn streets towards him. As they started getting closer, the passenger door on the lead truck opened and a figure jumped out and started running. Zack had apparently decided that he could go much faster than the vehicles and practically flew towards them.

"Spike! Spiky! Are you okay?" Zack was freaking out. Sephiroth barely realized in time that the aptly nicknamed puppy had no intention of slowing down before colliding with them. He dodged out of the way what was sure to be a very enthusiastic embrace directed at the smaller soldier.

"Do you remember what I said about Strife needing medical attention, Fair?" he chastised him.

"Right, sorry, Spiky. I was really worried," Zack sounded rather breathless after his dash.

"‘Lo, Zack. Sorry to make you worry," Cloud raised his head tiredly off of Sephiroth's shoulder and managed a weak smile.

"I didn't meant it like that, idiot." Zack smiled back before turning to Sephiroth, "I can take him now, Seph."

Sephiroth held Cloud out towards his mentor. "Watch his right hand and ankle," he said, "They're broken."

"Got it." Zack was very careful as he took the injured bundle and started to step back. Sephiroth felt a tug on his hair as he did so. Looking down, he realized that Cloud had once again grabbed hold of it and apparently wasn't letting go.

"You've got to go with Zack now," he said and delicately unwrapped the clenched fingers from his silver strands. Placing the Cloud's hand on Zack's shoulder, he stepped back, feeling somewhat reluctant. It had been comforting to him to be able to hold the boy. To protect him after he had failed so miserably in doing so before.

The vehicles finally pulled up and Zack walked over to the ambulance. "I'm going to go with Cloud," he called back. "The Turks are on their way to begin the investigation. We'll talk later, okay?" Without waiting for a reply, he lowered Cloud carefully onto the waiting stretcher and jumped in the back.

Sephiroth turned to the truck Zack had come from and got in with a sigh. He shouldn't be wishing he could go with them in the ambulance. He knew that, but he couldn't help but hope that Cloud would be able to forgive him someday. He scoffed at his foolishness; Cloud would never want to see him again.

"Um, General, sir?" the driver of the truck spoke up. "Do you have orders?"

Right, he was still in charge. "Follow the ambulance as an escort," he ordered. He might not be able to see him, but that wouldn't stop him from making sure he was okay.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 3 in which Cloud goes to the hospital, Zack worries and Sephiroth angsts. Enjoy!

Zack sat in the back of the ambulance with Cloud, watching as the medics checked over his injuries. They had sedated him right away as the presence of the medics had caused him to fly into a panic, begging with them not to touch him. How could something like this have happened? It was just some stupid, routine mission to clean up a handful of weak monsters in the slums! It was lead by General Sephiroth himself! Although that last fact was most certainly to blame for the whole incident. Zack made a mental note to punch both Heidegger and Lazard the next time he saw them. It had been their moronic idea to send Sephiroth out on missions with the regular troops to inspire confidence in their leader.

"How is he?" Zack asked when the hurried movements of the medics finally slowed down.

"He appears to have taken quite a lot of damage, sir," one of the medics answered. "But most of the more minor injuries have been healed already. I presume the general did that. We've got an IV started and we're getting some fluids and painkillers into him. His broken bones will have to wait until the doctor sees him; he'll need x-rays to determine the extent of the damage."

"Seph said he was raped," Zack prompted.

"Yes, again, we'll have to wait for the doctor to do an examination. Physically, he'll probably heal just fine; it doesn't look like it was as violent as it could have been." Seeing Zack's pained expression the man continued, "We've got some great counsellors at the hospital, they're used to dealing with all the horrors of war. I'm sure the kid'll be just fine. Is he your friend?

"Yeah." Zack nodded his affirmative. "I was supposed to look out for him." The medic apparently couldn't think of anything to say to that so the three men in the back sat in silence, listening to the regular beeping of Cloud's heart monitor.

After what seemed like forever to Zack, the driver of the ambulance called out that they arrived. He jumped up and opened the back doors, eager to do what little he could to help. As they were lowering the stretcher down to the pavement, Zack was surprised to see one of the trucks he had brought to the slums pulling up as well. He was even more surprised to see Sephiroth climb out of it before sending it on its way.

"Did you get lost?" he joked rather lamely.

"No, I merely wished to ensure that Corporal Strife got here safely." The joke, bad as it was, was apparently lost on Sephiroth anyway.

"And you're still here because…? Not that I don't want you here, it's just, don't you have general-ish things to do? Like explain to the boss man what happened?"

"That can wait," Sephiroth said shortly, before following the stretcher carrying Cloud into the building.

Zack stood at the entrance, momentarily stunned as he took in his friend's bizarre behaviour. It was not at all like Sephiroth to show this level of concern over a mere trooper. He cared about his men, of course, but only enough to phone and make sure they were okay if they were very badly injured. Skipping out on his obligations to sit in a hospital waiting room was unthinkable. Zack suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to grill Sephiroth until he told him exactly what had happened to them.

With his newfound determination, Zack stormed into the hospital.

Cloud was nowhere to be seen, but Sephiroth was sitting calmly in one of the uncomfortable chairs that could always be found in waiting rooms, reaching for a cup of coffee that a smiling nurse was holding. He had his trademark duster folded over his lap and had acquired a scrub top from somewhere, so he wasn't sitting around bare-chested. The nurse giggled at something he said before walking away in what could only be described as a highly flirtatious manner.

Sephiroth motioned him over. "We're not allowed in to see him until they've finished the examination and I was told it would probably take quite some time. I've authorized the use of materia to heal all his wounds," he informed Zack as he settled into the chair next to him. "And the nurse is bringing you some coffee, too."

Sure enough, the nurse was soon strutting her way back to the two men, coffee in hand. "Here you go, Lieutenant Fair," she said, "Made just the way you like it."

"Thanks, doll." Zack flashed his brightest smile. It couldn't hurt to get in good graces with the nurses. They were far more helpful than doctors when they wanted to be. Zack would flirt till the cows came home if that's what it took to make sure Cloud got the best care possible.

Zack turned to Sephiroth as the nurse walked away once again. "So d'you wanna talk about what happened?" He put on a casual front, hoping to put both of them at ease for what would no doubt be a difficult conversation.

"No," was the blunt reply he received.

Zack just blinked. What the hell? "Seph, c'mon, you've got to talk about it. I realize you're pissed off and you probably feel bad about letting Spike get hurt, but you have to deal with these emotions! Since you said you already killed the fuckers who did it—"

"No."

"What do you mean, Seph?"

"I mean no. I didn't kill them, not all."

"But you told me—"

"I told you I killed the people who took us captive." Sephiroth hunkered down and took a gulp of his coffee. "I didn't kill everyone who hurt him."

Zack could only watch as Sephiroth shut himself down. His face closed off to the world and his eyes went completely blank. He just stared at the duster on his lap apparently fascinated by the bloodstains on it. Zack was used to this sort of reaction whenever Sephiroth had to go to the labs to see Hojo, but it had been years since he had broken him of the habit of doing it whenever anyone tried to have a conversation with him. Something far worse than Zack had imagined must have taken place and he needed to find out what. But he also knew it was useless to try when Sephiroth had decided to hide from the world.

Sighing, Zack slumped back in his chair and closed his eyes. "Whatever happened is going to come out eventually. When's the last time you were able to keep a secret from ShinRa?" His question went unanswered, but that was hardly unexpected.

Several long, uncomfortable hours went by in silence until the light tap-tapping of the nurse's shoes caused Zack to open his eyes. "The doctor would like to speak with you, sirs."

"Can we see Spike?" Zack asked excitedly as he jumped up. "Is he okay?"

"The doctor would like to speak with you first, but I've just been in to see him and he's resting comfortably." With that, she started leading the way towards the back and Zack made to follow before realizing that Sephiroth was still sitting.

"There's no time for this nonsense," he grumbled. He grabbed Sephiroth's arm and dragged him bodily behind him. While his the reluctant man certainly wasn't helping, he wasn't digging his heels in either so Zack took that as a good sign.

"'Resting comfortably' means 'still sedated', right?" Sephiroth suddenly spoke.

"Uh, probably. That's usually what they mean when they say shit like that about you."

"Good. He won't want to see me."

"I really wish you'd drop this cryptic bullshit and tell me what happened, sir. And while we're at it, if you wouldn't mind walking properly; dragging you is kinda hard." While Zack didn't get a reply, he did nearly fall over as the weight behind him suddenly eased up. "Thank you!" he gasped in mock relief.

The nurse led them to a private room with several comfortable-looking chairs and some cheerful pictures on the wall. A woman in a white coat holding a clipboard was waiting for them. "Ah! Gentlemen, good evening," she greeted them. "Please have a seat."

Zack flopped down in one of the chairs. Why couldn't they have chairs like these out in the waiting room? He figured they probably saved the nice chairs for giving people bad news. Wait! Did that mean they were getting bad news? His breathing and heartbeat quickened as he ran through a list of everything that could have possibly gone wrong before remembering that the nurse had told them Cloud was doing all right. "So what's the prognosis, Doc?"

"I'm Dr. Stewart," she began, "I'm in charge of Corporal Strife's treatment." She held out her hand in turn to Zack and Sephiroth. The latter had remained standing near the door; years of torture in the name of science had left him wary of all doctors and hospitals. "He's doing quite well; I'll take you to see him in a few moments, but first I'd like to discuss his treatment. His ankle has been reset and healed; your generous authorization of materia use, General, helped immensely with that. He'll have to stay off his feet for about three days and we'll keep it wrapped for a couple of weeks after that.

"The damage caused by his rape has similarly been healed, he should suffer no lasting physical effects from it. His hand is a different matter, however. The twisting force applied to his fingers, in addition to bending them back, resulted in highly unstable spiral fractures. We had to operate on each finger, placing pins to affix the bones. It's not possible to use materia to heal them until we can remove the pins, which will be in three weeks or so. There was also significant tearing of the ligaments that stabilize the fingers. Healing them, without affecting the bones, is extremely difficult, so I would prefer to wait until we remove the pins for that. The risk is in how the scar tissue will develop. I'll keep an eye on it and if it appears to be compromising his mobility, we'll use the Cure.

"Despite our precautions, there is a significant risk of loss of motion and malunion. Whether or not Strife will be able to continue with his military training will remain to be seen. Do you have any questions for me before I take you to see him?"

Zack took a deep breath; that had been a lot of information. He got the gist of it: broken fingers equals bad, Cloud might not recover enough to become a SOLDIER. Something else had to be asked, though, since Seph wasn't talking. "Did you do a rape kit?"

"Yes, we did. The results should be back in a few hours," the doctor had a kind look in her eye when she said that.

"That's not necessary." Zack could hardly hear Sephiroth's voice despite his enhanced hearing. The next bit was even quieter. "It will come back as my DNA."

Zack could not have heard that right. He stared as his friend vanished from the doorway and retreated down the hallway. He had to be mistaken. He turned back to the doctor. "Did you hear that?" he asked. Dr. Stewart shook her head, looking puzzled. "Never mind, just get the results back as soon as possible. Can we go see Spiky now?"

"Certainly, I'll have Julie take you to his room while I go order a rush on the kit." The doctor stepped out into the hall and beckoned the nurse over. "Please take Lieutenant Fair to see Corporal Strife."

The nurse, Julie, smiled brightly at him, but Zack couldn't bring himself to return it. He followed her blankly down the hall and into a cheery room with bright paintings on the walls and a large window looking out over the Midgar skyline. At this time of day, the light of the setting sun mixed with the smog from the mako reactors creating a brilliant skyline full of improbable colours. He turned from the window and instead faced the sleeping boy on the only bed in the room.

Cloud's hand was done up in a painful looking splint that was hooked to some sort of contraption above him but he looked peaceful in his sleep. His hair had perked up a bit; someone had gotten a good deal of the blood out of it, though there were still a few small patches of blood and some dried flakes here and there. Julie checked the IV bags hanging next to his head and adjusted a few buttons.

"He should be waking up soon," the nurse said as she turned to go. "Let me know if you need anything."

Zack pulled a chair over to the bed and placed his hand over Cloud's. Sighing, he brought his mind back to what Sephiroth had said. _It will come back as my DNA._ There's no way he could have misheard something like that. But what did it mean? Taken at face value, it seemed that Sephiroth was the person who raped Cloud, but why? And if he had, why was he acting so guilty? Why not hide it instead of running away? Surely someone of his authority could get rid of the evidence. But what was he thinking? Sephiroth would never rape someone! The thoughts ran around his mind; different possibilities kept cropping up, theories and known facts conflicted. Hell, known facts were conflicting with known facts. Zack hoped Cloud would be able to tell him what happened when he woke up. This speculation was just making his brain hurt.

Zack sat lost in thought for another fifteen minutes or so before he heard the sounds of his friend coming back to the world of the living.

***

Sephiroth practically ran out of the hospital. He had never thought himself a coward; the idea had never even occurred to him. But here he was, running away from his best friend when he should be trying to explain what happened. Zack would understand, wouldn't he? He'd know that he hadn't wanted to hurt Cloud, that Sephiroth had been forced to do it. Sephiroth tried to convince himself, but the voice in the back of his mind had other ideas. He was the Silver General, the Demon of Wutai, he was strong, he should never have been captured… he should have stopped it. And, the helpful voice added, he enjoyed it. Perhaps not the rape itself, but the images his imagination supplied. He wanted to see Cloud again, to make those images real. That was what was truly unforgivable.

Sephiroth stormed into headquarters. His glare was enough to keep even the bravest at bay as he made his way to the SOLDIER floor. He vaguely heard Lazard's voice calling out to him but he paid it no heed. He headed to the main VR room, banged the door open and snapped at the startled Thirds to get out. While they were tripping over themselves in their efforts to avoid having their general's wrath directed at them, he set the program to its highest level and pulled off the shirt he had taken from the hospital. Stepping into the room, he drew Masamune and prepared to face the hordes of monsters the program would provide.

Over three hours later, ShinRa's much lauded technology was the first to give out. Sephiroth stared in disgust at the sparks flying around him. He left the training room to spark by itself – useless piece of shit – and started heading back to his quarters. Maybe, if he really worked at it, he could drink the disgust away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I learned far more than I ever wanted to know about the ways you can break fingers, methods of treating them, and things that can go horribly wrong. Mostly what I learned is that I never want to break my hand. Credit goes to Brian J Divelbiss, MD from eMedicine for most of the info. He does not recommend using magic to heal your bones, however. And I tweaked a lot of the numbers to try and work it into the FF world.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lovely Urplesquirrel has volunteered to beta for me! Hooray! Thank you so much!

Cloud woke up to the sun shining as brightly as it ever did in Midgar and the sound of an alarm going off. He blinked blearily as he started searching for the source of the noise, but settled for studying the thing his right arm was attached to instead. It was hanging over his bed and had weird spring things attached to each finger holding them upright and in place. He couldn't move his hand at all. He tried tugging his arm downwards and started to panic when that didn't work either. Where was he? Why couldn't he move? Cloud kicked at the blankets covering him, trying to get free as gut-wrenching fear flooded his sleep-addled mind.

A man in his late-twenties walked into the room and Cloud froze. The man opened his mouth to say something and Cloud started screaming. He didn't even know what he was screaming; get away, help, where's Zack, where am I, why am I here… he just kept screaming. He suddenly felt his heart rate slow down and the panic began slowly bleeding from his body.

"Cloud? Cloud, hey, what's up?" The man was talking to him as he stepped back from doing something with the IV stand next to him. "Are you feeling a bit calmer?"

"Mmm hmm," seemed like a good enough answer.

"Can you tell me where you are?"

The man seemed to think that he should know the answer to that question. He looked around. White bed, white sheets, nasty yellow walls with generic paintings, little buttons on the bed, IV bag attached to his arm… "Hospital." He felt quite proud of his very scientific conclusion.

"That's right, you're at the ShinRa Military Hospital. My name's Rick; I'm a nurse here. How are you feeling?"

"Thirsty." Now that he thought about it, Cloud's throat felt really dry and scratchy, like he had shouted far too much the day before. The day before… the mission with General Sephiroth. It all came flooding back to him like a tidal wave. The memories crashed down around him and he was drowning in the pain and fear and humiliation. He gasped for breath but his lungs wouldn't hold the air.

"Cloud! Cloud!" Someone was shaking him. The man's face swam into view, Rick, was his name. "Cloud, just breathe. Take a deep breath, you're safe now. Everything's okay."

'Breathe,' that's what Sephiroth had told him. 'Try to relax as I tear you apart from the inside. Fuck me faster and moan like a wanton schoolgirl.' But that wasn't right, was it? Sephiroth hadn't wanted it either. He said he was sorry and held his hand. He tried to make it not as bad. He only asked him to do those things so they could escape, right?

A hand on his shoulder interrupted his thoughts. Rick looked concerned as he held out a plastic cup with a straw in it. "Here," he said, "Take a few sips."

The water was nice and cool on his parched throat. It was also somewhat calming. Rick held the cup patiently until Cloud remembered that there was nothing wrong with his other arm. He grinned sheepishly as he took the cup from the nurse. "Thanks."

"No problem." Rick chuckled and got up. "I've got some other patients to check up on, but if you need anything just push this button here and I'll come running. And if you start freaking out again, bang on it a bunch of times and I'll come running even faster."

Cloud grinned and nodded. "I'll try not to freak out again."

"Good to hear! I'm a _terrible_ runner. Oh, your friend, Zack, wanted you to know that he'd be by later in the morning." With that, the nurse was out the door and headed off to his other duties.

Cloud placed the cup on the little table next to his bed and settled back into the pillows. Zack was coming by, that was good; he wanted to see his cheerful mentor so badly. He vaguely remembered waking up last night and seeing Zack's face, but he had been so out of it. Those were some good painkillers. Speaking of which, those were some _good_ painkillers. His hand didn't hurt at all; there was just a kind of throbbing reminding him that it was there. Nothing else hurt either, now that he thought about it. He lifted up the sheets to take a look at his body. His ankle was wrapped in an elastic bandage, but it didn't look swollen. There were no cuts or bruises on his legs and when he felt his back there was just smooth skin. He didn't want to be caught touching himself if someone walked in, but he had a feeling that his butt was probably healed too. He blushed at the thought of someone touching him there to heal him. That was embarrassing.

But that meant that the doctors had used materia to heal him! How was that possible? Materia was never authorized for use on the regular army. It was much cheaper in the long run to just train new soldiers. Or so they had been told… how exactly did that math work? It wasn't like materia disappeared after you used it. Cloud shook his head; that line of thought was going nowhere fast. Point was, someone had to have offered to pay for his treatment. He knew Zack would have been willing, but the guy was always broke. He split everything he earned between random kids in the slums and his parents back in Gongaga. What little he had left over he spent on girls. He even ate in the army cafeteria because it was free! He didn't have any other friends who might have been able to afford… unless… Sephiroth?

Cloud thought. Was that something Sephiroth would do? Maybe he was feeling guilty because he hadn't given the men the information they wanted and let Cloud get hurt because of it. He did say he was sorry a lot. But still, it wasn't something he would have expected the general to do for some no-name grunt. He thought some more, trying to remember everything that had happened. He remembered being upset at the thought of getting blood on his idol's coat and Sephiroth laughing and telling him ShinRa would buy him a new one. And then he had woken up and someone had been touching him. That was right! Sephiroth had healed him! Not completely, but the man obviously thought Cloud was worth using his own personal materia! Cloud got a little misty-eyed at the thought. That was like a dream come true!

A dream come true. Did he really just think that? Disgust washed over him. But, he rationalized, it was true. He had always wanted to meet the general. Not like that, of course, but he couldn't deny the crush that had been there ever since he saw his picture in the newspaper when he was thirteen. And a small part of him was glad that Sephiroth had been the one to do it. He could well imagine the sort of pain that the other men would have caused him. Sephiroth had a least talked to him, whispered that it would be okay and held his hand. He would have gotten no such comfort from anyone else. And he couldn't help but wonder what it might have been like if it hadn't been rape.

The door opened and Rick was back, bearing gifts of Jell-O and morphine. Cloud smiled.

"I didn't freak out," he stated proudly.

Rick beamed while injecting the drug into his IV. "That's great," he said. "Do you feel like talking to someone? There's a doctor here from the psyche ward who would like to talk if you're feeling up to it."

Cloud hesitated; he really didn't want to have to say it out loud. That would make it so much more real. Thinking about it was bad enough. But maybe the doctor would be able to tell him what he was feeling was normal. Or maybe the doctor would say he was sick and call him a pervert and tell everyone how Cloud had enjoyed being forced on his general like that. He'd tell them all about how Cloud had gotten hard, that he had really wanted it… Cloud had started gasping for air again.

Rick was shaking his shoulder again and Cloud managed to pull himself out of his thoughts. "Cloud, listen to me," the nurse was saying. "You don't have to talk to anyone just yet, but the longer you wait, the harder it's going to be. Doctor Tallion is a great listener and he won't judge anything you say. You'll feel a lot better once you get it out in the open and can start moving on, trust me."

Cloud slowly nodded. "Okay, I'll try."

***

Zack rolled out of bed at what felt like far too early in the morning and glanced at his clock. Figures, he thought, far too late. Grumbling, he stumbled off to the shower. Today… today he would get his answers. Cloud had woken up last night, but had been far too drugged up to be anything resembling coherent. And after seeing him lying in that hospital bed, he couldn't have brought himself to ask about what had happened even if he had been capable of answering.

He had left after Cloud had fallen asleep again and asked Julie to tell him that he'd be back in the late morning. When he got back to the barracks he had encountered wild tales of Sephiroth flying into a rage and destroying the VR room. The way some of the Thirds told it, you'd think there had been an apocalypse. He had gone to the general's apartment and found him absolutely wasted. Sephiroth had refused to let him in, claiming that Zack shouldn't be seen associating with monsters. That was what had finally convinced him that Sephiroth was indeed the one who raped Cloud. But it also convinced him that neither party had been willing. Still, he had to talk to Cloud and make sure. He didn't want to say anything more to Sephiroth about it until he had found out Cloud's feelings on the matter.

Poor kid, for something like that to happen to him, with Seph, no less! It was just over a year ago that Zack had met him, all spiky hair and big blue eyes. He had stood out to Zack because of his determination. Cloud was smaller and weaker than the other soldiers, and he knew it, but he was willing to work twice as hard as everyone else to make up for it. When Zack had offered to be his mentor, he had been thrown; completely unable to imagine why anyone would think he was worth extra training. He tried to convince Zack that it would be a waste of his time but Zack had persisted until he finally wore him down.

It had been several months before he got past the mental barriers Cloud had developed after years of being picked on and looked down upon. And a couple more months before the shy boy was able to admit that he had a crush on the general. While that sort of thing was hardly uncommon among the troops, Cloud's crush seemed different. For one thing, he was far more interested in Sephiroth as a _person_ not just a war hero. Zack had found that most people tended to forget that their leader was human too. Cloud always loved hearing about Seph's little quirks, like how he jumps whenever his phone rings and he's not expecting it. Or how he always picks out the bell peppers from his food but never remembers to order it without. Small things that made him less perfect seemed to make Cloud like him even more. Zack had been planning to introduce them after this mission. And now – Zack punched the wall of the shower leaving a big dent in the tiles – everything had been ruined.

Zack stepped out of the shower and towelled himself off. He quickly dressed and grabbed a bite to eat before heading out. He wanted to go see Cloud now, but he had things he needed to get done first. The first order of business was finding out how the investigation was going. He jogged over to the main building and hit the elevator button for the forty-ninth floor.

The very first thing he noticed upon stepping out into the busy hallway was the massive amount of engineers and maintenance staff. They seemed to be clustered around the training room with a lot of traffic to and from the elevators. Heavy machinery was going and Zack could hear a lot of cursing and yelling. 'How the fuck did he manage this?' seemed to be a popular question. Maybe those Thirds hadn't been exaggerating as much as he thought. He popped his head into the briefing room and sure enough, there was Director Lazard looking extremely stressed.

"Fair!" The director noticed his presence. "Get in here!"

Zack put on his best 'it's not my fault' face and slunk into the room. It was a _long_ conversation. Zack tuned out most of the yelling about Sephiroth's behaviour and how much he was costing the company. He did pay attention, however, when Lazard finally got around to telling him about the investigation. The Turks had apparently gathered a lot of information from the building where Cloud and Sephiroth had been taken. They had determined that it was AVALANCHE and believed they had the location of a second base. Lazard was sending some Firsts to investigate that, along with the Turks. Zack wasn't allowed to go, much to his disappointment. He was 'too emotionally involved', Lazard claimed. It was just as well, he supposed, he wanted to be able to be there for Spiky. At least Lazard wasn't cutting him out of the loop entirely.

Zack was eventually allowed to escape after promising to find Sephiroth and make him give a report. But when he checked his PHS, it was nearing lunchtime and he decided that Sephiroth could pout a while longer. He swung by Cloud's barracks and grabbed some spare clothes and a toothbrush, then headed out to the hospital.

***

Cloud was poking at an unidentifiable pile of mush on his plate, thinking about everything he and the doctor had talked about. It was difficult opening up to a stranger like that, but the man was really persistent and asked questions in a way that made him want to answer. And at least he hadn't called him a pervert to his face; he had even been unexpectedly understanding about the feelings Cloud was still pretty certain were wrong. He really wanted to see Sephiroth; there was so much he had to ask him about. So many doubts and fears that could perhaps be put to rest if only they could talk. But what if the general didn't want to see him? He had passed Cloud off to Zack pretty quickly yesterday and Rick had thought that only Zack had been to see him last night. Was Sephiroth disgusted with him? He wouldn't blame him if he was. He had been useless; he had begged Sephiroth to make it stop even though he had promised himself he wouldn't and then he'd gotten an erection! He hadn't even been able to walk on his own afterwards. The man had had to carry him while he was trying to fight. He couldn't believe he had been such a burden! Why had the general even put up with him?

He felt like dirt, the worst kind of dirt there was. Sephiroth had done so much for him and had been so kind and now Cloud wanted more? That was beyond selfish! He had no doubt washed his hands of the little trooper who had soiled them by now. Who was Cloud to expect him to want to talk about it? But… maybe, just maybe Sephiroth wanted to talk about it too. From what Zack had told him about Sephiroth, it didn't seem likely that he would get to see a counsellor. And Dr. Tallion had said that it couldn't hurt to ask. If he asked Zack to see if Sephiroth would mind coming to see him, the rejection would probably be easier to handle. Zack wouldn't tell him Sephiroth's exact words if it was something hurtful. He could go on with life believing that the man was simply too busy to see him and that would be that. He was a general, after all. They led busy lives.

Cloud made up his mind and had just finished off what he could choke down of his bland hospital lunch when he heard Zack's cheerful voice in the hallway. He seemed to be stopping to flirt with everyone and everything. The crash carts must be blushing by now, he was sure. Thinking it was best to be on the safe side, he gave himself a booster dose of morphine before the door crashed open and a mountain of presents walked through. If he looked closely, he could make out Zack's hair just barely peeking over the top. Yep, morphine had been a good idea.

"Hey Spiky!" Zack's voice was a bit muffled. "Brought ya some stuff!"

"Yeah, I can see that," Cloud snickered as his friend fumbled around. "There's a chair to your left you can put it on."

Zack felt around with his feet and dumped the load of goods. "Much obliged!" He turned to face Cloud, "How are ya?"

"As good as can be expected." Cloud shrugged. "Dr. Stewart says I'll be here about ten days before they can take my hand out of this thing." He gestured towards the contraption holding his arm up.

"Well then, I guess it's a good thing I brought you everything you'll need while you're stuck in hospital hell!" Zack practically bounced to the overloaded chair. "We have flowers, some secretaries sent those, we have chocolates, courtesy of your bunk-mates, we have porn, also courtesy of the bunk-mates, but you might find it a bit scary so I'll just have to take it for you. We have cards, books, magazines, and movies of the non-naughty variety; I'm sure I can scrounge up a DVD player for ya. And I'm totally willing to go kidnap some other patients if we need more players for cards, whadd'ya say?"

"I say thank you very much… I think. Especially for taking the porn. But please don't kidnap anyone, how about we just play Gin or something?"

"Sounds good, Spiky." Zack fished out the cards and started shuffling. "So the doctor was telling me you were talking to a psychologist this morning?" Zack had actually stopped by to talk to Dr. Stewart before going up to see Cloud. She had confirmed that it was Sephiroth's DNA they had extracted from the rape kit but Zack wanted to hear it from Cloud.

"Yeah, he was pretty nice." Cloud fiddled with his cards. "We talked about a bunch of stuff."

"Like what?" Zack prompted as he lay down three eights.

"Oh, you know, the usual stuff. Why I joined ShinRa, whether or not I want to stay in the army, what I'm going to do if my hand doesn't heal properly, that sort of thing."

"That's it?"

Cloud shrunk down in his bed and tossed a run down on the little table. "You already know about what happened, don't you? Dr. Stewart told me you had asked about the rape kit. She wanted to know if it was okay to give you the results. I figured it would be easier for her to tell you." Cloud fumbled with his cards and dropped a couple on the bed.

"Yeah, I know that much, but I guess I just want to hear it from you. Hear what really happened, because I'm still guessing about most of it."

Cloud fiddled with the cards some more before putting them down and getting a sip of water. He played with the hem on the sheets and poked at the plastic adjustor on the IV line. Without looking at Zack, he whispered, "They forced me on him." He pulled at the springs holding up his right hand and flicked at some imaginary lint. "They—they made me give him a blowjob to make him hard and then they forced me onto his lap." Tears were falling freely now and Zack silently handed him a tissue. "He didn't want it either, if that's what you're thinking. He tried to comfort me and told me what to do to make it hurt less. He held my hand." Cloud's words were coming out in stops and starts between sobs and Zack reached out to hold him.

The cards lay forgotten between the two young men as they embraced. Tears gathered at the edges of Zack's eyes but didn't fall as Cloud sobbed his heart out. Eventually the tears tapered off and they separated.

"Thanks." Cloud sniffed and blew his nose. "I needed that."

"Anytime, Spike." Zack's voice was extremely gentle as he spoke. "I really mean that, you know."

Cloud nodded his understanding. "How is Sephiroth?"

"He tore apart the VR room last night and got drunker than I ever thought possible. I've never seen him so upset. He called himself a monster."

Cloud's eyes went wide with horror. "No! No, he shouldn't think that!" He was frantically waving his good hand and rattling with the trussed-up one in denial of that statement. "I need to talk to him, Zack, please. Will you ask him to come see me?"

"Is that a good idea? I mean, he didn't have _much_ of a choice, but he did have one. He could have talked."

"No he couldn't have, Zack. You of all people should know that. If the general's got a secret the bad guys want, he can't tell, no matter what. Dr. Tallion said it would be okay to see him if I wanted, we talked about that a bunch, actually. There's some stuff I really want to ask him so…" he let his voice trail off.

"All right, Spike, I'll talk to him," Zack stood up and ran his hand through his hair. "If you're sure. But I want to be there, no arguments from either of you."

Cloud blanched. Asking Zack had seemed like such a good plan; he hadn't thought that Zack would want to be in the room. He couldn't ask what he needed to with his mentor there! He trusted Zack, but that was too much. And even if Zack said he wanted to help, he was sure that didn't mean he wanted all the details. It was too late to protest, however, as Zack headed out the door. "See ya later, Spiky!" he called in his booming voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of this was based on my own experiences with hospitals. I tried to capture the random way you think when you've just woken up from being sedated and you're pumped full of drugs. It's not easy playing cards with one arm! And I'm guessing it's even harder when you're nervous and distracted. Kudos (do people still say that?) goes to my many specialists for kindly volunteering their believable doctor names. Tallion is pronounced tie-yon btw, I always want to pronounce it the cereal box French way. I hope they don't mind starring in a yaoi fanfiction but I figured they should do something useful with their lives. Not that I'm bitter and angry, oh no.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to say thanks to everyone who's been reading and a huge thank you goes to everyone who has left reviews. Your comments mean so much to me! I'd also like to thank Urplesquirrel for making me write this chapter properly even though it was terribly cruel to make me type that much. Okay, done with my Oscar speech now.
> 
> Update (2010/12/08) I've finally fixed this chapter; it's been driving me crazy since I first wrote it and I couldn't figure out why. And then once I _did_ figure out why, I couldn't figure out how to fix it. It should be good now, though. It no longer makes me want to sing "one of these things is not like the others" anymore, at least.

Sephiroth had woken up with one hell of a hangover. He wasn't quite sure how that was even possible. He had been under the impression that mako was supposed to take care of the little things like hangovers. His apartment had been a disaster; the empty bottles, holes in the walls and broken bits of random things gave evidence of what had been an out of control night. The sheer number of bottles gave him some indication of why he was still hungover. The normally calm man hadn't even realized he had _owned_ that much alcohol. Not that he wasn't glad he had been well prepared.

He made an attempt at cleaning things up a bit, but eventually gave it up as a lost cause. The clanking of the bottles hurt his head too much and they'd still be there later. It wasn't like anyone would be coming over; Zack would probably want to spend his spare time at the hospital. That, he supposed, was the problem with only having one good friend.

The sixty-eighth floor was his first stop that day. While he usually avoided the labs like the plague, he hadn't quite worked out his need for self-punishment. He also really wanted to know how he had been taken out so easily. That would be a crippling weakness until he knew how to avoid it in the future. Hojo served his purpose like a champion, inflicting pain and humiliation while berating him for causing so much trouble. The creepy scientist had also been very keen on finding out what had brought down his prize specimen and came up with a number of unpleasant tests to determine what it was. He was finally cleared to leave while Hojo analyzed the results, so Sephiroth decided it was high time he stopped avoiding his duties and went to go work on his report. He stopped by a vending machine and grabbed a protein bar and headed to his office.

***

Tseng got the call from Sephiroth's secretary just as he was about to leave for lunch. Somehow it didn't surprise him that Sephiroth would show up at his office then; he seemed to be trying to make everyone's life as difficult as possible. Sighing, he stood up and grabbed his recorder and notebook; it would be best to just get it over with now, while he knew Sephiroth was in.

"Let's go, Reno." Tseng clipped the new kid upside the head as he walked past, causing him to drop his sandwich.

"What the hell, boss? Where're we going? It's lunch!"

"We're going to interview Sephiroth, now hurry up. And I don't care that it's lunch, so keep your complaints to yourself unless you want to retire."

Reno grumbled, but followed him obediently. Apparently he had already learned about the Turk's retirement policy. When Reno banged loudly on the door to Sephiroth's office, however, Tseng found himself regretting the decision to bring him along. Sephiroth did _not_ look like he was in a good mood as they let themselves in.

"We need to get your report, Sephiroth." Tseng wasted no time in getting to the point. "Our investigation is being hindered by the lack of information."

"I'm working on it, Tseng. Or I would like to be." Sephiroth was making no attempt to hide the annoyance in his voice.

"You could just tell us what happened, yo," Reno spoke up. "That'd be _way_ easier than writing some boring report."

"Reno, shut up," Tseng said, with a feeling of long-suffering patience.

"Well, it would! I'm the one who would'a had to read the thing, I'm just tryin'a be efficient." Reno still spoke with a classic slums drawl and had yet to learn proper manners and respect.

"Reno," Tseng's voice was warning. They had known each other long enough that Tseng had gotten pretty good at knowing when Sephiroth wasn't in the mood to be patient. "Go wait outside."

"But, Boss!" Reno protested loudly and Sephiroth flinched at the noise.

Tseng grabbed Reno's arm and steered him back out the door before Sephiroth got fed up. He shut the door quietly and took a seat. "Sorry about that, General. He's new and has yet to learn any tact."

Sephiroth nodded wearily and held his head in his hands. "But you agree that I should just tell you what happened?"

"It would help the investigation proceed."

"I'll do it on one condition; don't ask Corporal Strife for a report."

Tseng was shocked; General Sephiroth didn't negotiate about anything. There was no bribing him into doing something he didn't want to do; he had been well trained by Hojo to just do it anyway. His little temper tantrum the night before had also been totally unlike the stoic man. Tseng found himself becoming even more curious about what had happened that could evoke such a reaction. He found himself regretting his next words even as he spoke them, "I would like to agree, General, but I can't ignore an important witness like that."

Sephiroth curled his upper lip into a snarl. "Just ask Fair for the kid's version of events, I'm sure he'll have spoken to him about it. He doesn't need to relive it for some stranger for the sake of a report," Sephiroth practically spat his words out.

"Fine, we'll do it your way." Tseng had the unsettling feeling that he'd be on the receiving end of Masamune if he didn't agree. He could always interview Strife later if he really needed to. No one ever expected the Turks to keep their word anyway. He set a recorder on the desk and started it. "Whenever you're ready to begin, General."

"I don't know exactly how I was captured; I believe, and Professor Hojo agrees, that it was a new materia combination. He is currently working on the possibilities. I awoke in an unknown location, naked and bound to a chair. The bonds were enhanced and I wasn't able to break them immediately." There was no hesitation in Sephiroth's voice as he related the tale of his capture. Tseng marvelled at his stoicism as he told of the trooper being brought in, already injured, and how the man had threatened to torture him if Sephiroth didn't talk. As a Turk, he was used to such tactics, but SOLDIERs were rarely exposed to such cruelty. The exception, he supposed, was Sephiroth himself, who had been raised in the labs by Hojo. He could well imagine the 'training' the twisted man had put a young boy through.

"They broke the fingers on his sword hand while trying to elicit my sympathy for destroying his dreams of becoming a SOLDIER. When that didn't work, they stripped him of his uniform and whipped him for quite some time. I was surprised he didn't lose consciousness." Tseng understood Sephiroth well enough that he knew that his emotions were boiling just underneath the calm exterior. Sephiroth felt horrible for what had happened. He had sacrificed one of his own and he knew it. Whether or not it was the right decision was irrelevant at the moment.

"I continued my refusal to cooperate and our captors decided to try a different tactic. They forced Strife to perform fellatio on me, threatening him with more broken bones if he didn't comply. The goal was to cause me to get an erection so that we could be forced to have sex. They were successful in this regard. Strife, at that point, begged me to make them stop, but I was unable to grant his request without betraying the company, so they forced him onto me." Tseng found himself wondering if Sephiroth even realized that he was describing _his own_ rape as well as the boy's. Somehow, he doubted it.

"The men holding us were aroused by the performance," Sephiroth continued in his monotone, "So I was able to use their distraction to my advantage. I used the energy surge from my orgasm to break the bonds that were holding me after ordering Strife to continue distracting them by making noises that would suggest he was enjoying it. My plan worked, as they were unable to respond in time to my escape, and I was able to kill the three men in the room with us. I carried Strife with me because he was unable to walk due to his broken ankle. I eliminated a further five enemies before retrieving my gear and escaping the building.

"I was delayed in contacting headquarters because of the poor reception in the slums. I felt that Strife's injuries were severe enough that I should heal what I could before making an attempt to contact HQ. I realize that my decision may not meet the approval of the brass, however, I stand by it. Strife acted admirably while we were captive and he was in extreme pain. His need for healing took priority."

As Sephiroth finished his story, Tseng leaned over to turn off the recorder. He was shaken by what he had heard and could hardly believe the manner in which Sephiroth had cut himself off from what had occurred. He resolved to do everything he could to avoid having to interview Strife as well. He knew that Sephiroth was just trying to help the kid avoid further pain without even knowing he needed help too. If leaving Strife out of it would make him feel even _slightly_ better, Tseng would do what he could.

"Oh, Tseng," Sephiroth broke the silence that had fallen, "I took pictures of Strife's injuries before I healed them. Do you want me to forward them to you?"

"Yes, please. That would be appreciated." Tseng looked Sephiroth square in the eye. "Thank you for agreeing to do this, I realize it must have been difficult for you to talk about."

"Not at all, Commander. It's my duty." Sephiroth stood up to show him out.

"I see, well, thank you anyways."

Tseng sighed as he left the office. He decided he would speak with Zack about Sephiroth as soon as he got an opportunity.

***

Zack made it back to headquarters by mid-afternoon, still in shock at the information he had received. He had figured out on his own what had occurred, but actually hearing it from Cloud had been a blow he hadn't been prepared for. He hoped he had handled it okay, he didn't really know what you were supposed to do in that sort of situation. Maybe he shouldn't have left so soon. They hadn't even finished one game of cards and he never did steal that DVD player. Zack was horrified that the Cloud had _wanted_ to see Sephiroth! He couldn't imagine what Cloud was thinking. How could he forgive him? Zack knew that _he_ never would've been able to allow someone to force another person on him if he had the power to stop it. Keeping ShinRa's secrets was a load of bull if anyone asked him. No secret was worth that!

Leaning against the fountain in Sector Eight, Zack let the air out of his lungs with a whoosh. He could just tell Cloud that Sephiroth couldn't see him. Make up some story about him being busy with paperwork or out on another mission. Cloud would believe that. But could he really lie to him? Cloud trusted him; he didn't have to say anything to him and he could have asked Dr. Stewart not to give him the rape kit results, he had that right. But the shy trooper had chosen to share his pain; Zack couldn't just betray that trust. He splashed his hand in the fountain water, looking for an answer.

It came in the form of a whack to the back of his head.

"Figured I'd find you here if you weren't at the hospital," a female voice spoke. Turning around, Zack saw the familiar smile and curly red hair of his friend, Cissnei. "Quit looking so gloomy! At least you weren't sent out on a mission to find some wayward, depressed SOLDIER!"

"Hey, Cissnei! How's it going?" Zack attempted to muster up some enthusiasm for her.

"Well, I completed my mission. Tseng wants to see you right away, but if you want to talk later, you know where to find me."

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm doing okay."

Cissnei playfully kicked him on the shin. "Bullshit, Zack. I know you're dealing with a lot and you'll need to vent. Since we don't want another destroyed training room, try talking to your friends first, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, where's Tseng?"

"I'm serious, Zack, those VR rooms are expensive!" She sighed, "He's in his office."

***

Zack knocked shortly on the Tseng's office door; he really hoped he wasn't about to be yelled at because Sephiroth was still avoiding his duties. He talking to from Lazard had been bad enough. The door opened and Rude gestured for him to go in before exiting himself.

"What's up, Tseng?"

"Zack, I'm glad you could make it. Please have a seat."

"Look, if Sephiroth is still being uncooperative…" Zack began.

"No, it's not that, Zack. He gave his report this afternoon. That's actually what I'd like to talk to you about. He requested that we not interview Corporal Strife and said that you might be able to give his version of events instead. I understand you've been to visit him in the hospital?"

"Yeah, I have. What do you need to know?"

"I really just need you to confirm that the two stories match up. If I let you hear the relevant parts of Sephiroth's report, can you tell me whether or not it's the same as Strife's?"

Zack nodded, he desperately needed to hear what Sephiroth had to say. "Go ahead and play it," he said.

Listening to the recording was awful. Sephiroth sounded like he was reading from the planet's most boring textbook; Zack didn't think he heard him change his pitch once. He just described everything in the coldest, most cut-off manner possible. He barely even paused to take a breath throughout the whole thing. Finally, Tseng hit the stop button and looked up at Zack.

"Well?" he asked. "Are their stories the same?"

Zack reeled from the realization of everything Cloud _hadn't_ said. "Spike didn't tell me everything," he said, "But what he did say matches with Seph's account."

"Good," Tseng sounded relieved. "Sephiroth gave us pictures of Strife's injuries before there was any healing done and that, combined with the doctors' statements, should allow us to get away with not interviewing him personally."

"He took _pictures!?_ " Zack was appalled and it came through loud and clear.

"Yes, and it's a good thing he did. If ShinRa doesn't have actual evidence of damage suffered while on duty, they'll do everything they can to get out of paying compensation." Tseng paused before continuing, "Look, Zack, I know you're friends with Strife, but you should know that Sephiroth acted the only way he could have. If you want my opinion, I think he did the right thing."

"Of course you do!" Zack jumped out of his chair. "You're a Turk! Your entire life revolves around making sure ShinRa's dirty laundry doesn't get out to air!"

"Zack, please calm down. That's not the only reason I think it was the right choice," Tseng's body language and voice remained calm but his eyes told a different story. "Think about it. If Sephiroth had handed over the information, what guarantee did he have that they would have let Strife go? I know how people like those in AVALANCHE think. They might have killed him, they might have taken him away and continued to torture him for fun, they might have done any number of things, but I can promise you, they would _not_ have let him walk out of there. Sephiroth kept him alive and in a position so he was able to help him once he broke free. That was the absolute _best_ option there was."

Zack was stunned. He hadn't even considered that they might not have stopped torturing Cloud if Sephiroth had spoken.

"Sephiroth is your friend, or at least I thought he was," Tseng continued, although his voice had lost its calm quality. "Right now, he's feeling horrible and broken and ashamed and he doesn't even realize most of it. So if you wouldn't mind getting down off your high chocobo, you might be able to notice that he was hurt too!"

"I—I—" Zack fumbled for words, "Shit, man, I didn't realize. I was just so worried about Cloud. He was just so beat up, you know? Sephiroth _let_ that happen!"

"You don't have to be bleeding to be hurt," Tseng's voice was cold, "And _both_ of them were violated."

Zack paused, he had understood that Sephiroth hadn't been willing, but what that meant exactly hadn't quite clicked in his mind. The idea of General Sephiroth being raped was almost inconceivable, but it had happened. "Fuck," Zack leaned against the wall and held his head. "I understand, I'm sorry. I'm being a pretty shitty friend, aren't I? I'll go talk to him." Zack turned to exit the room. "But I still want to punch him!"

"Knowing the way his mind works, he'd probably appreciate that," there was a hint of humour in Tseng's voice. "Just make sure you forgive him afterwards."

"I will, thanks a lot, Tseng!"

Tseng shook his head as the door slammed shut behind Zack. That boy was so thick sometimes!

***

Sephiroth was rooting around in the backs of his cupboards, wondering if it was worth the effort to go out to the liquor store, when he heard the beeping of his door unlocking and the whoosh of air as it opened. Zack flew into the apartment like the hounds of hell were baying at his heels. Sephiroth simply stood there as Zack barged his way in; he had been expecting this, after all. It came as no surprise when a balled fist found his jaw and he allowed himself to be knocked back against the counter.

"There, you've been punished, now I can forgive you. Let's go."

That, however, _did_ come as a surprise.

"Well? C'mon," Zack was pulling at his arm and Sephiroth stared at him while trying to comprehend the situation. "Hurry up, we've got to stop for food on the way 'cause I don't think Spiky'll survive another hospital meal. And what the hell happened here by the way? It looks like a horde of angry Vikings broke in and looted the place. You should totally call the cleaners."

While his mind struggled to catch up to the situation, Sephiroth found himself being propelled out his door. They got about halfway to the elevators before it dawned on the man where they were going.

"Zack, wait, what are you thinking?" he started to protest. "Cloud doesn't want to see me."

"Did you ask him?" was the innocent-sounding question.

"I didn't need to ask him, Fair, now let me go."

"'Cause I actually talked to him and he seems to be of the opinion that he _does_ want to see you. Were you so drunk that you forgot to send out his thought directive?"

"Lieutenant Fair, this isn't a joke." They were nearing the elevators now as Zack used Sephiroth's distraction against him to continue to shove him towards them.

"I'm well aware of that, General Sephiroth. I have two good friends who were hurt very badly yesterday. They really need to get together and talk about what happened to them so they can stop acting like drama queens and trying to self-destruct. And one is stuck in a hospital about to succumb to the horrible fate of having to eat nasty, worse-than-ShinRa's-cafeteria food-like substitute if we don't hurry up and save him. So let's go!" With that, Zack gave one final push and the two men were in the elevator. He quickly hit the ground floor button and banged on the door close one in case Sephiroth got any ideas about escaping.

"You can't possibly think this is a good idea, Zack," Sephiroth tried to reason with him.

"I didn't at first. When Cloud asked to see you I was totally against it. I was just going to tell him that you were too busy, but then I changed my mind."

"Why did you do that?"

"A few reasons, one, Spiky's not stupid. He wouldn't have asked me if he didn't think he could handle it. Two, he was worried about you. If I didn't let him see you, he'd just get more and more worried until he snapped. And three, someone gave me a verbal slap to the face and told me to think about your feelings too." The elevator door dinged and Sephiroth reluctantly followed his friend out. "Besides," Zack continued, "Cloud said he _needed_ to see you and that his shrink said it was a good idea. He wanted to ask you a few things."

Sephiroth debated his options and realized he had none. Zack would persist until he caved and if Cloud had emphasized needing to speak with him, well, he couldn't just ignore the boy. He probably just wanted to know why Sephiroth had let him be tortured. Sephiroth sighed, "What type of food are we getting?"

Zack crowed in delight at having succeeded in getting the stubborn man to accompany him. "I know the perfect place!" he said before whipping out his PHS to order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was chapter 5! I'm quite happy with the way Tseng and Zack's conversation turned out. Credit goes to Urplesquirrel for giving me Tseng's 'you don't have to be bleeding to be hurt' line. Thank you so much! Now I want takeout…


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news for all of you who have been anxiously waiting to see where this story's going. It's going somewhere! That's right, I have a plan. Written down and everything. Mostly. What? I'm not that good a planner.

It turned out that the 'perfect place' was a dingy little hole in the wall Wutaian restaurant in the slums. After reluctantly parking his car, Sephiroth found himself wondering if he might be better off with the hospital food. At least the cafeteria there was bound to have seen a health inspector once or twice in the last fifty years. He was shocked the place even had a phone for taking orders. He tried not to touch anything or look _too_ disgusted as he waded through the mass of tiny tables towards the counter where Zack was counting boxes.

"You're buying, right Seph?"

Sephiroth briefly wondered where Zack got off assuming that he would pay for all that food, but gave it up as a lost cause. "How much is it?" he asked the fat man standing behind the counter.

"Special deal for SOLDIERs," the man barked. "Only two hundred gil and you get a pharmacy coupon!"

"Thrilling," Sephiroth said in a flat monotone. He pulled out some cash and handed it over. The coupon he received in return was good for any one item at the pharmacy. Maybe he could get some digestives; he'd probably need them after eating. A load of food packages was dumped into his arms and he found himself being bustled back outside.

"Let's go, let's go!" Zack was bouncing as he waited for Sephiroth to unlock the doors to the car. "Spike's gonna starve if we don't hurry!"

"I highly doubt that," Sephiroth said dryly. Still, he decided that if ignoring a few traffic laws in order to get there faster would make Zack, and by extension, Cloud, happy, he would do it. But that feeling of hopeless fear had returned; it was even worse now that he was on his way to face the source of it.

***

The two men pulled into the hospital parking lot shortly after six. They walked through the lobby and Sephiroth found himself distracted by the gift shop.

"Should I bring him something?" Sephiroth asked. "Isn't that customary when visiting someone in the hospital?"

"You're bringing him food, that's good enough," Zack replied. "'Sides, I know you're just trying to procrastinate. You can get him something later if you really feel the need."

"I'm not procrastinating, Zack."

"Uh-huh, I believe you, don't worry. It's the rest of the world you've got to convince." Zack hit the button for the elevator and held it open for Sephiroth to reluctantly follow him.

They got out on the third floor and Zack led the way through the corridors. Sephiroth hated the sterile white halls and smiling staff. The smell of disinfectant and medicine made him feel slightly nauseous. It was oppressive and reminded him far too much of his childhood. He suddenly felt even worse for landing Cloud in such a horrible place.

Zack stopped and knocked on a partially open door through which the sounds of laughter could be heard.

"Come in." Sephiroth barely recognized Cloud's voice when he sounded happy. He hung back as Zack entered the room.

"Hey, Cloud, Rick," Zack greeted them.

"Hi, Zack, I'm glad you're back." Sephiroth didn't recognize the voice but assumed it was probably Rick who had spoken. "I was just about to head out, Cloud cheats way too much."

"I do not!" came Cloud's protest. "You just suck at Old Maid!"

"Whatever, I know you were hiding the last Jack up your sleeve. I'll see you tomorrow, Cloud. Take care."

"Yep, see ya!"

A man in nurse's scrubs came out of the room and gave Sephiroth a rather odd look as he passed.

"So, Sephiroth couldn't come?" Had Cloud sounded disappointed when he asked that?

"What? No, he's here! For the love of Gaia, get in here, Seph!" Zack stuck his head back out the door and made threatening motions at him. Sephiroth cautiously stepped in. The room seemed to have lost some of its hospital-like qualities; there were books and magazines piled on the floor next to the bed, a vase of flowers by the window and a half-eaten box of chocolates next to them.

"Hello, Cloud. How are you feeling?" he asked the boy sitting up on a card-covered bed.

"Hello, sir. I'm doing okay. How about you?"

If Cloud was upset about seeing him, he didn't show it at all. Sephiroth was secretly glad; he wasn't sure if he would have been able to handle seeing the fear and disgust he knew Cloud must have been feeling. He could almost pretend that he was visiting a friend this way. "We brought food." Sephiroth held up the boxes as proof.

"That's great, I'm starving!" Cloud was beaming. It was a beautiful smile and Sephiroth found himself wanting to see more of it. "Well, come in, you can put it down on that table then grab a chair and sit down." He pointed to the larger of the two tables in the room that Zack was dragging over to the bed.

Sephiroth put the food down, but didn't sit. "Zack told me there was something you wanted to ask me about."

Cloud froze in the middle of directing Zack where to put the table. He suddenly looked very uncomfortable and Sephiroth wondered if he had said something wrong. Wasn't that why Cloud had asked him to come?

"We don't need to talk about that now," Zack admonished him. "Let's just eat."

Cloud pulled Zack closer to whisper in his ear, obviously forgetting about the enhanced hearing of SOLDIERs. "Does he not want to stay? It's okay if he doesn't. I'd understand." Sephiroth heard the inquiry loud and clear.

"It's fine, Spiky." Zack shot a glare at Sephiroth. "Seph's just being his awkward social self. And hospitals make him uncomfortable so he's extra awkward. You'll get used to it."

Sephiroth felt he should say something given the harshness of the glare being levelled at him. "This is a nice room," was his feeble offering. He sat down in hopes of putting Cloud more at ease.

"Yeah, it's not bad. By the way, Zack, did you think I wouldn't notice the card on the flowers that said 'Congratulations on your baby boy'?"

"There was a card?" Zack asked innocently as he doled out portions of food for everyone.

Sephiroth shook his head in mock shame, "Does this mean I have to buy replacement flowers for someone again?"

"Stop exaggerating! This is the first time I've stolen flowers from the secretaries!" Zack protested. "And _you_!" He pointed at Cloud. "You appreciate my presents properly or I'll make you eat with chopsticks instead of the fork I so thoughtfully brought for you."

"I'll be good, sir, I promise!" Cloud was laughing and smiling again. Sephiroth mentally breathed a sigh of relief as the atmosphere of the room returned to its previous state; he hadn't wanted to make Cloud uncomfortable.

Dinner passed with a lot of joking and teasing. The meal had been surprisingly good, despite Sephiroth's dismal expectations. He couldn't help but notice the glances Cloud kept throwing his way whenever he thought he wasn't looking. The looks were intriguing, he had to admit. He wondered just what it was Cloud was thinking.

They finished dinner and Zack suddenly remembered something about a DVD player and took off shouting something about the Children's Ward having the best shit. Sephiroth and Cloud suddenly found themselves alone together and an uncomfortable silence fell.

"Umm, sir?" Cloud's hesitant voice eventually broke the silence. "I wanted to thank you."

Sephiroth was shocked. That was the last thing he had expected to hear from him. "What would you want to thank me for?"

"For... for helping me yesterday. And for being so kind even though you didn't have to be. I know it must have been a pain having to deal with someone like me, so I just wanted you to know that I really appreciated it." Cloud's words were rushed as he valiantly tried to explain to the confused man in front of him.

"But, there's something I wanted to ask you, if it's all right. You don't have to answer, if you don't want..." Cloud was no longer looking at him as he spoke.

"Ask whatever you'd like, Cloud. I don't mind," Sephiroth tried to reassure him.

"Okay, it's just, I was wondering about, you know, when you asked me to—" Sephiroth waited patiently as Cloud stumbled over his words. "To he—help you so we could escape."

"Yes, what about it?"

"Well, I was wondering wh—why you wanted me to do that," he was blushing and fiddling with the sheets. "I just, I didn't think, um... Did it actually help?"

"Oh, Gaia, I'm sorry, Cloud," Sephiroth started panicking. Was Cloud thinking that he had asked him to put on a show simply so he could get off on it? "Please understand, Cloud. I couldn't break the bonds without some sort of energy boost. Ejaculation momentarily provides such a boost. As for the moaning, I was hoping that if you sounded like you were enjoying it, it would also cause our captor to orgasm. It distracted him, you see, so there would be less chance of him being able to react quickly when I broke the bonds. Does that make sense?"

Cloud merely looked thoughtful so Sephiroth continued, "I wasn't trying to humiliate you even further, I promise. I was only trying to make it possible to escape."

"I understand, thank you for explaining, sir. You... you didn't really want to do it, did you?"

"No, Cloud, I didn't want to hurt you and I'm so sorry I had to allow that to happen." Sephiroth reached out his hand to Cloud before thinking better of it. He settled for resting his hand on the side of the bed.

"Then..." Cloud paused as if unsure of how to continue. "I'm sorry too. Sir."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry. You didn't want it either, so that means... um, technically speaking, you know..." Cloud looked up hopefully at Sephiroth as if willing him to understand what he was trying to say. Sephiroth just furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, however.

Cloud looked distressed that Sephiroth was failing to understand and he wracked his brain trying to think of something Cloud might have done that he would feel the need to apologize for. He came up with nothing except for the fact that Cloud seemed to think that he had been some sort of burden. That didn't _seem_ to be what he was talking about, but since he couldn't think of anything else, he decided to go with it.

"I didn't think you were a bother to me at all, Cloud. You held up admirably through the ordeal and—" Cloud was shaking his head so he cut himself off and waited for him to speak.

"That's not—I mean," Cloud stammered as he tried to explain. He took a deep breath and started again. "What I'm trying to say, sir, is that I'm sorry for my part in what happened to you. Because tech—"

"Kids never saw me comin'!" Zack suddenly burst through the door carrying a load of electronics. "Come help me set this up, Seph."

Sephiroth looked at Cloud; it didn't appear that he was going to continue speaking with Zack in the room. He had never felt so confused in his life. He reluctantly turned away and began sorting the various wires. Zack had apparently found some sort of game system as well although Sephiroth wondered why he would give Cloud something that obviously required two hands to use.

Cloud had been quiet the entire time they were setting up the equipment and when Sephiroth turned around to check on him, he found that he had fallen asleep still sitting up. He smiled at the innocent picture the exhausted boy painted before nudging Zack, who was still rummaging around behind the television.

"We should go," he whispered.

"What? Why?" Zack's voice seemed unnaturally loud now that Sephiroth was trying to be quiet.

"Cloud's fallen asleep, you can finish setting that up tomorrow."

"It's done," Zack stood and for some reason looked at Cloud's IV stand. He then started tidying up the small room. He tossed the takeout containers in the trash bin and gathered up the cards from the bed.

"Shouldn't you try to be a little quieter?" Sephiroth asked, feeling rather indignant at the lack of concern Zack was showing.

"Nah, he gave himself another dose of morphine. Between that and the long day he's had, kid's out like a light." With that, he lowered Cloud's bed back down and rearranged his blankets, tucking him in. "'Night Spiky." Zack ruffled his hair. "Okay, Boss, let's get outta here."

They exited the room and made their way towards the elevators. They ran into a group of giggling nurses on the way and Zack had to stop to say hello. Sephiroth waited impatiently as his friend complimented and gossiped with the women. He wanted to get home so he could think in peace. Meeting with Cloud hadn't been as bad as he thought it might have been, but he wanted to know what he had been trying to say. He silently cursed Zack for interrupting at the worst possible time, until the overly friendly man made his excuses and they were finally allowed to leave.

"So did you talk with Spiky at all while I was gone?" Zack asked as they made their way back to the parking lot.

"A little bit, it might have gone better had you not interrupted," Sephiroth replied tersely.

"Hey, I had to check up on you guys. Cloud's been having panic attacks all day; I didn't want him to have another while you were in there alone with him. Why? What did you guys talk about?"

"He thanked me, which I thought was strange. He seemed to think that I was bothered or upset because he required help after we escaped."

"Yeah, Spiky's got a bit of an inferiority complex," Zack explained. "He was bullied a lot when he was a kid and often doesn't get that not everyone thinks he's a burden."

"I see." Was that why Cloud had apologized? But he had protested when Sephiroth tried explaining that he wasn't a burden. No, it had been something else, he was sure of it. He had said he was sorry for his part in what had happened to Sephiroth. But he hadn't been injured, whatever spell had been cast had worn off without any harmful side effects, and he hadn't been the one who was tortured. It made no sense.

He drove in silence for the remainder of the trip, trying to come up with some sort of explanation for Cloud's wording. Zack seemed to realize that he needed to think and remained quiet as well until they pulled into ShinRa's parking garage.

"What are you thinking of doing now, Seph?"

"I'm going to return to my apartment; Hojo's experiments were tiring and I'd like to get some rest," he said.

"All right, well, if you need anything or want to talk, you know how to find me." Zack waved his PHS in Sephiroth's face. "Do you want to come see Spiky with me tomorrow?"

"Yes, I think so." That would be a good idea; maybe Cloud would be willing to explain what he had meant.

"'Kay, have a good night, then, sir."

"Goodnight, Lieutenant."

Sephiroth made his way back to his apartment and shut the door behind him with a sigh. He hadn't been lying when he said he was tired. The experiments hadn't been that strenuous, but for some reason, he felt like he had spent the entire day training. He decided it wouldn't hurt to get ready for bed now, even though it was still early. He could always read for a while before going to sleep. As he changed into his sleep pants and brushed his teeth, Sephiroth found his mind wandering back to Cloud again and again. He recalled the way he had smiled brightly at the thought of non-hospital food and how he had blushed and toyed with the sheets. He knew he shouldn't be thinking of him like that, but he couldn't help it. There was just something about those bright blue eyes that drew him in. Sephiroth let himself flop down on the bed and barely got under the covers before sleep claimed him.

***

A small hand twined through long silver hair and made its way up, scratching gently across Sephiroth's scalp. His skin tingled as he felt warm breath next to his ear. He opened his eyes and met immediately with brilliant blue. He was lost momentarily as he fell into their depths before they blinked slowly and the spell was broken. Sephiroth raised his hand and stroked the face that the eyes belonged to. He caressed his cheek and trailed his thumb along the plump, pink lips that were smiling slightly. Those beautiful lips opened slightly and a tongue darted out, licking his thumb before disappearing once again. He wanted to taste that tongue so he gripped the boy's chin between his thumb and index finger and pulled it down towards him. He came willingly and Sephiroth caught his lips with his own.

Their kiss started out gently; Sephiroth didn't want to frighten away the mysterious nymph who had somehow made its way to his bedroom. It wasn't long before Sephiroth wanted more, however, and he nipped lightly at his lower lip before dragging his tongue across it, begging for entrance. He moaned as the lips parted once again and he delved into the warm orifice, tasting everything he could. The boy's small tongue wrapped around his own and flicked it, encouraging him to come in further. Sephiroth obliged and fully explored his mouth; he tasted delicious, like slightly sweetened vanilla with a hint of cinnamon. He let go of his chin and ran his hand through the blond locks atop his head before stroking down his neck and back. He brought his other hand up and, wrapping his arm around the delicate waist, smoothly rolled the boy onto his back.

Sephiroth finally broke the kiss and pulled back to look at the panting figure beneath him. He was convinced this creature was a nymph; his fey-like body was pale and flawless, the bright blond hair and blue eyes complemented his complexion perfectly. His face was flushed slightly and his chest was rising and falling rapidly. Sephiroth felt a smirk cross his face; he wanted this boy, he would have him crying out in ecstasy soon enough. He trailed his hands down his torso and his smirk widened as he gasped and squirmed into the touch. He traced along the hem of his shirt, tickling the sensitive skin there before sliding his left hand up and under the shirt. He felt the still developing muscles that weren't a six-pack yet and moved further up, past the slight bump of his ribcage before finding a hardening nipple. He rubbed the pads of his fingers across it and gently pinched the flesh. He was rewarded for his efforts with another surprised gasp.

Sephiroth's other hand found the boy's and grasped it. He placed it on his own bare chest, encouraging him to touch back. His hand moved shyly across the skin and it was quickly joined by a second; the exploring touches were feather-light and sent shivers down Sephiroth's spine. A brief brushing sensation across his nipples caused him to grind his hips down and groan with unrestrained desire. He found himself becoming impatient and grabbed the boy's shirt to pull it over his head. He took in the sight of the bare chest then lowered his mouth to one of the darkened circles of flesh. He licked a circle around the sensitive nub and flicked his tongue across it before capturing it between his teeth. The slight cry of pain mixed with pleasure encouraged him and he bit down a little bit harder several more times before easing off and rewarding the area with soft kisses. One of the boy's hands gripped his hair as he moved over to give the same treatment to the other nipple and he found that the gentle tugging was turning him on even more.

He ground his hips down again; making sure the boy could feel the hardened flesh between his legs. He could feel the boy's own erection pressing against him and found that his smirk was back. Without letting his mouth lose contact with his chest, he moved his hand downwards and cupped the boy's erection, giving it a small squeeze. He moaned and rocked his hips upwards; blunt nails scrabbled at his back and small hands grasped frantically at his arms. Sephiroth trailed his tongue up to his clavicle where he began to nip at his skin, leaving tiny bite marks as he went. The panting moans emanating from the boy under him were driving him insane with lust. He wanted to be inside him, _now_.

Sephiroth pushed the blond's pants down roughly and threw them aside before standing and pulling off his own. He stood still for a moment, taking in the breathtaking sight of the naked body lying on his bed. He noticed the slight trembling and tiny hint of fear in his eyes and smirked again.

"Are you afraid of me?" he asked.

The boy didn't reply in any way; maybe the nymph didn't understand or was incapable of communication. That was okay, he might be a bit nervous, but he clearly wanted Sephiroth. He nudged the boy's legs apart and settled himself between them rubbing their cocks together. The boy writhed and thrust his hips up; the friction was delicious. He slipped a finger inside the small, puckered hole and found it slid in easily. He paid that detail little heed and simply added another finger before beginning to stretch the boy. The blond was more vocal now; plaintive mewling seemed to be begging Sephiroth for more and he added a third finger and began curling them to reach the boy's prostate. He knew he had hit it when a scream echoed through the room.

Sephiroth couldn't wait any longer. He withdrew his fingers and lined up his cock with the boy's entrance. He plunged in with one swift movement and revelled in the tight heat.

"Cloud," he whispered in the boy's ear, "I want you." He pulled back and thrust in again with a shout.

A shout that woke him up.

Sephiroth jerked upright in bed. He was sweating and had somehow gotten his sleep pants pushed down around his ankles. He looked down at his raging hard-on and groaned in frustration. He felt filthy, like he had just waded through the corpse-filled battlefields of Wutai; he couldn't believe he had just had a sex dream about Cloud. As if he wasn't feeling bad enough already, now he was molesting the boy in his sleep. It was too much. What kind of monster would have dreams like that about the person they were forced to rape? He was as bad as the men who had captured them. He stared at his erection, willing it to go away on its own. He had no such luck, however, and decided a cold shower was his best option.

He walked into his large bathroom and turned on the shower before stripping completely and stepping into the cold spray. The icy water had an immediate effect on his erection, but did nothing to wash away the self-loathing he felt. Thinking back on how he had felt in the dream, Sephiroth felt his stomach churn and nearly lost its contents. He was repulsive, not even fit to be called a human being. He collapsed on the tiles and sat there for over an hour, wishing he could just drain away with the water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos goes to CNome for the evil wet dream idea. Thank you!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's chapter 7, I hope you enjoy it. Now I'm off to find more painkillers because this story is going to be the death of me. Thanks again to everyone for reviewing.

Zack made an effort to get up on time in the morning so he could get his paperwork out of the way and see Cloud sooner. He was glad that Sephiroth seemed to be doing better and was willing to go see Cloud again. They could probably use some more time to talk things over, but it seemed that his original plan of introducing Sephiroth to a new friend wasn't too far off track. He grabbed a cup of coffee from the break room before poking his head into the general's office to say good morning.

Something was wrong, however. Sephiroth wasn't in his office and it didn't look like he had been there at all since yesterday. Zack checked his watch; he wasn't _that_ early. After asking around, he determined that Sephiroth hadn't shown up yet today. He decided to go check his apartment in case something had happened to him. Zack made his way back to the SOLDIER compound where the residences were and banged on Sephiroth's door. When no one answered, Zack used the keycard Sephiroth had given him ages ago to stop him from practicing his lock picking skills on the door.

"Seph?" Zack called out. The sound of running water was coming from the master bedroom. Maybe he was just running late; it had been a stressful couple of days. He could have overslept accidentally. Still, he knocked on the door of the bathroom, just in case.

"Hey, Seph! You in there?" There was no reply, which was really strange; Sephiroth should have been able to hear him even over the shower. "Seph, I'm coming in, okay?"

Zack opened the door and walked into the freezing cold room and immediately spotted his friend sitting directly underneath the cold spray. He didn't move when Zack rushed over and shut off the tap. "Seph! Sephiroth! What's wrong?" Zack checked his friend for injuries and, finding none, grabbed a towel off the rack and wrapped it around him. Hauling Sephiroth to his feet, Zack steered him out of the bathroom and sat him down on the bed. His skin was like ice and he was even paler than usual; mako helped a lot with resistance to extreme temperatures, but SOLDIERs could still get cold. Zack used another towel to start drying the unresponsive man off and trying to get him warmed up.

"Shit, Seph. Talk to me, man. What's going on? What happened?"

"I—You shouldn't—" Sephiroth was stammering, which was completely unlike him. Zack was starting to get really worried.

"I shouldn't what, Seph?"

"You shouldn't be here. You should go."

"No can do, buddy. Tell me what happened. C'mon, you can talk to me about anything. Please?" Zack gave Sephiroth his best puppy dog eyes and put every ounce of pleading and understanding he could into his voice. Sephiroth held his head in his hand and shook it slowly.

"I shouldn't, it's wrong. I shouldn't be thinking about him like that." Sephiroth's voice was filled with disgust.

Zack hesitated before speaking; this was dangerous ground he was treading on. "Who shouldn't you be thinking about? And like what?" Zack was pretty sure he already knew the answer, but really hoped Sephiroth would tell him anyway.

Sephiroth wrapped the towel around his waist and stood up with an air of brushing him off. "I'm fine, Fair. Thank you for your concern. If you'll excuse me, I need to get dressed."

"Seph! What the hell? I'm trying to he—"

"I don't need help, Fair, so leave, that's an order. I'm late for work."

"Fine, _sir_. I'll let you be for now, but you need to talk about this." Zack wasn't entirely comfortable with disobeying a direct order just yet, so he headed for the door. "When do you want to go see Cloud?" he called back.

"I'm busy!" came the annoyed reply. "I don't have time to go visiting every injured grunt in the hospital."

Zack heard the bedroom door slam and knew the conversation was over. He let himself out and thought about what he could do. He suspected that Sephiroth had perhaps developed some sort of feelings for Cloud, the most likely candidate being lust. That theory made the most sense, he supposed, considering the amount of blame Sephiroth was laying on himself. He wanted to help, but had no idea where to even start. He went back to his own apartment to give Aerith a call. He hadn't even spoken to his girlfriend since before all this happened and he knew she was always good for advice. He flopped down on his couch and dialled her number.

"Hi, Zack!" Aerith's cheerful voice made Zack's heart beat a little faster.

"Hey, babe. How are ya?"

"I'm good, how are you holding up with everything that's been going on?"

Zack paused a moment, no matter how many times she did it, he still found it mildly disturbing how Aerith just _knew_ things. "How much do you know?" he asked.

"No details," she answered. "But I know some people close to you were hurt and that you're confused. Will you tell me what happened?"

Zack explained the facts as well as he could and also included his suspicions about what Sephiroth was feeling. "I just don't know what to do," he sighed as he finished.

"Hmm, it sounds to me like your general could do with some forgiveness."

"But it wasn't his fault! He wasn't to blame for it, Aerith," Zack protested in defence of his friend.

"I realize that, but sometimes it doesn't matter if it was your fault or not. It still helps to hear that you're forgiven. You should talk to Cloud again. If he's willing, I think he and Sephiroth have a lot more they need to talk about."

"All right, I'll go see Spiky. He seemed like he wanted to talk, so he'll probably still be willing. Although, I thought the same thing about Seph yesterday, so who knows."

"Zack, you're a good friend. You know that, right?" Aerith's voice was firm in her conviction.

"Thanks, babe, I think I needed that."

"You may not know exactly how to help them, but you're trying. That's what counts. Now go see Cloud," she ordered.

"Yes, ma'am!" Zack snapped a salute even though he knew she couldn't see him. "I'll call you later, 'kay?"

"You'd better, or else!"

Zack felt immensely better after he hung up. Aerith always seemed to know what to say. It probably had something to do with her weird connection with the planet. Or maybe she was just the kind of person who knew what to do. Either way, he now had a plan. Zack grabbed his coat and some snacks from his kitchen he knew Cloud would like and set out for the hospital.

***

Cloud was watching a cheesy comedy while waiting for someone to show up to take him to the psyche ward when Zack knocked on the door of his room.

"Hi, Zack! Good to see you." Cloud shut off the movie and turned to face his mentor. "I didn't think you'd be around until later; it's not visiting hours for a while yet."

"Visiting hours are for the weak," Zack scoffed. "I flirt with a purpose, you know."

"I see... So what brings you here this very fine morning? Anything other than escaping work?"

"Actually, yeah. I wanted to talk to you about Seph; I'm really worried about him. He seemed fine last night, and agreed to come see you again today. It seemed like he wanted to talk with you some more; he was a bit pissed that I interrupted."

"So what happened? That's good, isn't it?"

Zack sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "I don't know what happened, exactly. He didn't show up for work this morning so I went to go check on him. He was sitting in his shower with the cold water on and he wouldn't talk to me, only enough to tell me he was too busy to visit you."

Cloud looked worried and began fiddling with things again. "Do you think it was something I said? I think I confused him with some of the things I was trying to say."

"No, Cloud, listen to me. Seph was fine after he talked to you; he might have been confused, but he wanted to come back and figure things out. I don't know if he just stayed up and thought about it all night and worked himself into a fit about it or what. It was clear to me that he's still blaming himself, though, so I was wondering if maybe you could try talking to him again. I'll drag him in by the scruff of his neck if I have to. Are you willing?"

Cloud looked hesitant. "I guess I could. I don't know how much help I'd be, but I can try."

Zack resisted the urge to smack Cloud upside the head. "Cloud, you're an idiot. And I mean that in the most caring way possible. You think way too little of yourself. Seph needs to talk to you, whether he realizes it or not."

Cloud blushed. "I said I'd try, didn't I? I've got another appointment with Dr. Tallion in a few minutes, but you can bring him in after. Although I'd like to see you try dragging the General somewhere he doesn't want to go."

"Whatever, I got him here the first time without any bloodshed. I can do it again. My old mentor always said I had a knack for making my superiors do things against their will." Zack stood and rolled his shoulders, "All righty, then. I'll be back late this afternoon with Crankypants in tow. Good luck with your appointment."

"Thanks, Zack. See you then." Cloud waved goodbye.

"Oh, I almost forgot! Here!" Zack tossed a package at Cloud's bed. "Some of Aerith's cookies for ya. They might make meeting the shrink a little easier."

With that, Zack ran out the door and nearly knocked down a passing orderly. Cloud heard his rushed apologies and the thunder of his boots as his friend rushed to catch an elevator, shouting for whoever was in it to wait. Cloud shook his head in a resigned fashion; when Zack had a plan, nothing could stop him.

***

The orderly Zack had run into had been there to take Cloud to his appointment. Cloud was thoroughly embarrassed as he tried to explain that Zack was always like that. Fortunately, the orderly appeared to have a good sense of humour as he wheeled Cloud through the hospital halls. He was glad to get out of the room, even if it was only to go to another part of the hospital, As a soldier, he was used to being constantly active. Sitting in a bed all day was starting to get to him and it was only the second day. At least Dr. Stewart had said he could start walking a little bit tomorrow.

The orderly dropped him off in the psychiatry waiting room and Cloud began getting panicky again. He had been doing okay lately, although he suspected the Valium of helping with that, but he was still nervous about what he would have to talk about. That first session had been more of a 'get to know each other' type of meeting than an actual therapy session. Cloud had only talked about the basics of what had happened on the mission and some of the feelings that were topmost on his mind.

As he was busy worrying, Dr. Tallion came out of his office.

"Good morning, Cloud," he greeted. "Are you ready to begin?"

"Morning, Doctor. As ready as I'll ever be, I think," Cloud replied. Tallion smiled and pushed Cloud's wheelchair into the office and shut the door. Cloud couldn't think of anything to say to start them off, so he just sat in silence, waiting for the doctor to start grilling him. He remembered he had Aerith's cookies with him and took one out to start munching on it.

"Those looks homemade," Dr. Tallion said.

"Yeah, Zack's girlfriend made them. He brought them by this morning. I'm surprised he gave them to me, actually."

"Why's that, Cloud?"

"Well, he really likes her cookies and he brought me this whole bag. It just sort of surprised me that he'd share."

"With you?"

"Huh?" Cloud was puzzled by the question. Why were they talking about cookies anyway?

"Were you surprised that he would share with you, specifically? Or do you not expect him to share them with anyone?"

"No, Zack shares with people, he's really nice like that."

"So then you didn't expect that he would share them with _you_."

Cloud thought a moment; was that why he had been surprised?

"Can you think of a reason you might think that way, Cloud?" Tallion prompted. "Has Zack ever said or done anything to make you think you're not worth sharing with?"

"I—No, he never. I don't know why. He's really supportive of me and he was worried about me getting hurt. I guess it just comes as a surprise that _anyone_ would want to share with me."

"And why is that?"

Cloud was getting uncomfortable with this line of questioning. He didn't like talking about his childhood and how he had had no friends. He'd rather talk about his capture if it came down to it. "Can we talk about something else?" he hoped he was allowed to get away with changing the subject.

"Sure, Cloud. That's not a problem."

While he was relieved that he was allowed to change the subject, the doctor was taking an awful lot of notes on his clipboard. It was starting to unnerve him. He knew he was allowed to ask to see it; that had been explained yesterday. He just wasn't sure if he wanted to know what was being written or not. Casting around for anything that might distract the man from writing he decided to talk about the previous night.

"Zack brought General Sephiroth to see me last night," he blurted out. It worked, though; Dr. Tallion's pen paused.

"How did you feel about that?"

"They brought me dinner. I was happy that he came, but really nervous too, you know? Because of everything that happened, I didn't want to freak out and embarrass myself." Cloud saw Tallion nod understandingly, so he continued. "He was kind of uncomfortable at first, and I didn't really know what to say, so I just pretended like everything was all right."

"But it wasn't."

Cloud shook his head. "No, I wanted it to be, but it was really scary being in the same room with him again. I kept telling myself that he wasn't going to hurt me, but at the same time, I can't even walk and I'm pretty much tied to the bed. He could have done anything. He asked me right off the bat what I wanted to ask him about and I _knew_ that was the only reason he came."

"So what happened? Zack was with you, right? He wouldn't have let Sephiroth hurt you."

"You're right. I know that. And I know that the General wouldn't have done anything either way. But I dunno..." his voice trailed off for a moment before he started talking again. "Zack helped, though. He basically told Sephiroth to sit down and shut up which was kind of funny. He's not supposed to get chewed out by his subordinates!" Cloud giggled at the thought.

"That helped remind me that Zack was there, at any rate," Cloud continued, "So I started talking to him and we all started joking and it was a lot more comfortable over dinner. I wasn't anywhere near as nervous by the time we finished. General Sephiroth's just a regular guy who's a bit socially awkward, you know?"

"So did you get an opportunity to talk to him about what happened?"

"Yeah, a bit." Cloud fished out another cookie and started eating it before remembering that it was rude to eat in front of other people without at least offering to share. He held out the bag to Dr. Tallion. "Want one?" he asked. "They're really good."

The doctor smiled and selected a cookie. "Thank you. So how did your talk go?"

"Well, it started out okay, I think. Zack had made an excuse to leave us alone so I asked Sephiroth why he had asked me to help him 'like that'. He said a bunch of stuff about temporary energy boosts and distracting our captors, but then he also said that he was really sorry and he hadn't wanted to humiliate me even more. That made me feel a lot better, 'cause I knew that he hadn't really wanted to do it. So I got up the nerve to apologize to him, too. Only it wouldn't come out right and I got all flustered. I mean, how do you tell your superior officer and the man you look up to and have a crush on that you're sorry for raping him? Sephiroth didn't seem to have any clue about what I was talking about, and then Zack came back before I could explain properly and I don't think he even _knows!_ " Cloud's words had started spilling out of his mouth so fast that he had to stop to gasp for breath.

"You don't think he knows?" Dr. Tallion asked while Cloud gathered himself.

"I don't think he realizes that he was raped too. It's like it hasn't even occurred to him. So now I'm wondering if maybe it's better that way. Wouldn't it be better not to know at all than to have to deal with it?"

Dr. Tallion's expression was stunned. "Regardless of what he might have convinced himself, Cloud, I am positive that at least a part of him must realize what happened to him. To refuse to acknowledge it will only harm him in the long run. I understand how it might seem like the better option to you, I'm sure there's nothing you'd rather do than forget it ever happened. But people need to deal with their emotions so they can move on from such traumatic events."

Cloud nodded slowly. "I know. I just—I don't know if I can tell him that. Zack says something happened after they went home last night and now Sephiroth's refusing to come back, or even talk to him. Zack asked me if I'd talk to Sephiroth again if he made him come, and I said I would, but I don't know if I can."

Dr. Tallion looked thoughtful as he took in the information. "Is Sephiroth not getting any therapy from ShinRa?"

Cloud shook his head, "I rather doubt it. He's their prize general; it wouldn't look good for him to be seeing a head-doctor."

"What if he came to one of your sessions? He could tell ShinRa it's group therapy _you_ need in order to move on and he's just doing you a favour. That way, you're not trying to figure out what to say on your own, and I'll be here to help if you get stuck. Do you think that might work? Keep in mind, I don't want to force you into anything you feel uncomfortable with."

Cloud's expression brightened. "Yeah, I think that might work. Can we try it tomorrow?"

"Of course, he can come at the same time as your appointment or a little bit later if you'd prefer a chance to talk alone first. Whatever would make you most comfortable."

"Okay, then. I'll give Zack a call and tell him the plan."

"That sounds good. Call my office after you've spoken to him, and I'll see you tomorrow, Cloud." The doctor stood up and opened the door before wheeling Cloud back out to the waiting orderly.

As soon as he got back to his room, Cloud called Zack and explained Dr. Tallion's idea. Zack was thrilled that Sephiroth would get an opportunity to speak to a therapist and the fact that it could be disguised as helping Cloud was even better. He promised to bring Sephiroth in for the appointment the next day and took Cloud's dinner order while he was at it. After hanging up, Cloud lay back in his bed with the DVD remote and Aerith's cookies. They kept him company while he waited for Zack to show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a _really_ hard time convincing myself to write the therapy scene, but I think it turned out okay.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello? Kind reviewers? Did I scare you away? I'm sorry. Look! I'll bribe you with a new chapter! Oh, wait, that doesn't really work, now does it? Oh well. Thanks to everyone who did review, I'm very grateful to all of you. And I want to thank the lovely Urplesquirrel, also known as the superhero Beta-Reader! All your help has been priceless.

Sephiroth was in a bad mood. The SOLDIERs all knew him well enough to steer clear, but a few unfortunate regular army members hadn't learned that lesson yet. Sephiroth felt he had let the annoying rats off easily; they'd be back on duty in no time. He shut himself in his office for the remainder of the morning and buried himself in paperwork. If he didn't think about anything but his job, maybe the horrible retching feeling in his gut would go away. So far, it wasn't working.

The sound of his secretary protesting reached Sephiroth's ears a little after the noon hour. He gripped his pen and waited for it... there, Zack's boisterous voice was casually brushing aside the secretary's warnings and getting closer. Zack didn't even bother knocking before flinging the door open with a bang and barging in.

"Afternoon, General Sephiroth, sir!" Zack plunked himself down into one of the visitor's chairs and threw his feet up on Sephiroth's desk. "I hear you've been a nightmare to be working for all morning. Good for you! Keeps the men in line if they're worried about decapitation."

"Fair," Sephiroth growled, "I'm busy. Go away."

"I'd love to, sir. But my boss is having a slight breakdown and needs his best buddy to help him out. So I'm just going to haul him down to the cafeteria and force him to eat some lunch, since he's not smart enough to do that on his own. Sound good?"

Sephiroth noted that Zack had kept a careful eye on the location of Masamune in the room as he spoke. It seemed that he wasn't a complete idiot after all; Zack would at least have time to draw his own sword before Sephiroth would be able to reach his. He truly hated it when Zack acted this way; he refused to even listen to Sephiroth's arguments and would only get louder the longer he protested. Still, he didn't want to have to have a 'talk' with his 'buddy' if there was any way he could avoid it.

"I'm not hungry, Fair, but thank you for your concern. I have a lot of work to catch up on. If I get hungry later, I've got protein bars here."

"You think you can survive on compressed cardboard? I don't think so, Seph. Come on, it won't kill you to take a break for lunch."

"The protein bars are nutritionally adequate."

"Ooh, now there's a ringing endorsement! You know, if you don't come to the cafeteria with me, I'll have to bring my lunch up here and comment the entire time you're trying to eat your 'nutritionally adequate' cardboard. And I'll probably spill all over your really important papers. I'll bet half of them won't even be legible by the time I'm done. Do you really want to risk that? Do you? You'll have to call all the other departments and explain how you managed to get spaghetti sauce all—"

"Fine!" Sephiroth slammed his hands down on the desk. "You win, I'll go. I'll eat. And then will you leave me alone?"

"Of course, Boss!" Zack gave a winning smile and agreed readily, which Sephiroth found suspicious. "I just want to make sure you're eating properly."

Sighing, Sephiroth followed Zack out of his office. How did he always manage to lose these arguments?

***

Zack found them a quiet corner in the cafeteria; everyone was still avoiding Sephiroth, which was good. His temper was hanging by a very delicate thread and Zack didn't want anyone ruining the progress he had made. He was wondering how to best approach the topic of Cloud when he spotted Tseng coming through the doors. Sephiroth was still waiting for his meal, so Zack quickly ran over to the Turk.

"Tseng, it's an emergency, I need you to come over and talk to Seph and me in a few minutes," Zack rushed to explain before Sephiroth noticed them talking. "Ask me how Cloud is and then follow my lead, okay? Thanks." He didn't wait for a reply before hurrying back to his table leaving Tseng blinking in confusion. He hoped that he would be willing to just go with it; Turks were good at that sort of thing, weren't they?

Zack made it back to the table just as Sephiroth received his food and began looking around the cafeteria for him. Zack waved to him and he made his way over and took his seat.

"What did you get, sir?" he asked.

Sephiroth shrugged. "Something not cardboard, so you should be happy." He proceeded to start eating like he was trying to get it over with as soon as possible.

They ate in silence for a little while until Zack finally saw Tseng heading their way and rejoiced.

"Hello, mind if I join you guys?" Tseng looked at Zack when he asked that.

"Not at all, Tseng. Take a seat." Zack motioned to the empty chair next to him.

"How's your student doing, Fair? Strife, was his name?"

"Yeah, Cloud Strife." Zack couldn't help but notice how Sephiroth tensed at the mention of Cloud's name. "He's doing all right, still trying to cope, you know how it is."

"Yes, such things can be very difficult to deal with." Tseng glanced at Sephiroth who seemed to be ignoring their conversation completely.

"He's got a pretty good therapist, though. That seems to be helping. I get the impression he's a pretty understanding sort of guy, Cloud says he's a really good listener."

"That's good. A decent therapist can make all the difference. I know that the different emotions people go through after an ordeal like that can be confusing at best. No one can deal with it on their own."

Zack smiled at the Turk; he had figured out where he was trying to go with this. Now if only Sephiroth would take the bait. "So I was talking to him after his session today. Apparently the doctor thinks it would be a good idea if Sephiroth came to one of his sessions."

"Oh really? He thinks that might help Strife move on, does he?"

"Yeah, a kind of group therapy just to get some things out in the open," Zack could tell Sephiroth was listening carefully. He had to make this sale. "He asked me to see if you'd be willing, Seph. What do you think? It'd probably really help him."

Sephiroth hesitated and Tseng spoke up, "I think it's an excellent idea. A face to face meeting in a controlled environment would be beneficial for both you and Cloud."

Sephiroth shot glares at both men as they sat waiting for his response. Zack knew he had won; there was no way Sephiroth could get out of this without coming across as a complete asshole. "If I agree to go to this 'therapy session'," Sephiroth didn't bother to hide his scorn, "It will help Strife?"

"Yep, it will."

"When do I have to go?"

Zack was doing mental cartwheels. "Tomorrow, ten hundred hours. I'll go with you, okay? Then if anyone sees you, you can just say you're dropping me off where I belong."

Sephiroth nodded his consent, although he looked slightly miffed about it, and Zack grinned at Tseng, who smiled back. Sephiroth finished eating and stood. "Do I have permission to return to my office now, Lieutenant?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Zack benevolently waved him towards the door. "You may go back to your paperwork."

Tseng chuckled at him as Sephiroth left the dining hall. "Was that what you needed? What happened anyways?"

"Yeah, thanks. And I've got no fucking clue. He was fine last night and then this morning... total basket case again."

"Well, let me know if you need anymore help. I should get back to work too." Tseng paused. " _I_ don't need your permission, do I?"

"Nah, Turks don't fall under my jurisdiction. You're free to go."

"Gee, thanks." Tseng left Zack alone to plan the rest of his day.

***

Cloud looked at his clock for what felt like the hundredth time: nine thirty-six, now. A minute had passed. Good. That meant time hadn't stopped entirely. Zack had told him that Sephiroth was definitely coming today. They would show up ten minutes late in order to give Cloud time to get settled and back out if he needed to. He wasn't so sure that giving him an out was a good idea, however. That option was _really_ tempting at the moment. To distract himself, he detached his hand from the traction frame, got out of bed, and began carefully walking around the room, testing his ankle. It didn't hurt at all and he wondered why he hadn't been allowed to walk before. He was very carefully jumping when a shout interrupted him, scaring him half to death in the process.

"Cloud!" Rick sounded furious. "What the hell are you doing? Your ankle was _broken_ less than three days ago and you're _jumping_ on it!?"

"It doesn't hurt," he said rather feebly. "Dr. Stewart said I could walk today."

"In the wheelchair. _Now_."

Cloud sat. "Sorry."

"Dr. Stewart said you could walk under the assumption that you would wait until she was there to supervise. Just because they used materia to heal it doesn't mean it's going to be good as new right away. They may call it magic, but it doesn't work like that with healing, especially not when there are broken bones. And you can't just go taking your hand out of the frame whenever you feel like it. It's there for a reason." Rick was reattaching his hand to a portable frame as he lectured. "You're seeing Sephiroth in your session today, aren't you?" he continued in a calmer voice.

"Yeah."

"Nervous about that?"

"A little. Zack had to really twist his arm to get him to come. I'm worried he's going to be mad about being forced to be there."

"Well, if you want my opinion, the general may come across as a wall of ice, but I think he does care about his troops. And perhaps you in particular. I saw him hovering outside your room the night before last; he didn't look mad, he looked scared. Like he thought he didn't belong. And if he is mad about being there today, I'm willing to bet he's not going to take it out on you."

Rick kept chatting until they arrived in the psyche ward where Dr. Tallion was waiting.

"Good morning, Cloud. Is the plan still on?" Dr. Tallion was holding a cup of coffee and smiling.

Cloud nodded. "They'll be here at ten after."

The doctor handed Cloud his coffee before taking the wheelchair from Rick and they proceeded into his office. "Do you have any ideas about how you'd like to go about this?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, do you want me to take the lead and sort of direct the conversation? Or would you prefer if I take on the role of a backbencher, only stepping in if things get too uncomfortable?"

Cloud thought a moment. "Um, I don't know. I'm not really sure how to say the things I want to talk about, so maybe if you at least got us started..."

Dr. Tallion nodded in agreement. "I can do that. So let's quickly go over what it is you'd like to say, then I'll go see if Sephiroth's here yet."

Cloud briefly outlined what he wanted to talk about, and before he knew it, ten minutes had passed and Dr. Tallion was standing up to go get Sephiroth. He felt nauseous. No, he could do this; he had almost done it before, hadn't he? And now he had help, it would be okay. The doctor had shut the door when he left, so he sat and waited for what seemed like forever. He wished he still had some of Aerith's cookies; those were nice to have yesterday.

The door opened and Dr. Tallion showed Sephiroth in.

"Take a seat, General." he motioned to the spare chair.

"Just Sephiroth is fine." Sephiroth sat down as he was directed, but didn't look at or acknowledge Cloud.

Cloud's heart sank, just a little, at the brush-off. Sephiroth really was mad about being here. Dr. Tallion also sat down and gave Cloud an encouraging smile before speaking.

"Sephiroth, then," he said. "We're glad you could make it today. Was that Zack in the waiting room with you? Cloud has mentioned him quite a bit."

Sephiroth nodded. "Yes, he insisted on coming with me."

"Why would he do that?"

"He wanted to make sure I came. And to give me an excuse if anyone saw me here. He said I could tell them I was dropping him off in the mental ward where he belongs."

"Did he have a reason to think you wouldn't show up?"

Sephiroth shrugged. "Not really. I didn't want to come, but I said I would. I keep my word."

Sephiroth still wasn't looking at Cloud. In fact, he was looking at everything but Cloud. Something that Dr. Tallion seemed to pick up on.

"But Zack had to convince you to agree to come," the doctor continued pressing. "Why was that?"

"I saw no reason to discuss something that has already been discussed. But Zack told me that it would help Strife, so I agreed for his sake."

Cloud shrunk down in his chair as far as he could and ducked his head. This was so embarrassing; Sephiroth was talking about him like he wasn't even in the room. He shouldn't have agreed to this. Sephiroth had visited him once; that should have been enough.

"But surely something as traumatic as what happened to you two is worth more than one conversation, don't you think? Have you been able to talk about what happened to you with anyone else?"

"What do you mean, what happened to me? Cloud—I mean, Corporal Strife, said something similar. I wasn't harmed when we were captured."

Cloud could see that Dr. Tallion hadn't really believed him when he said that Sephiroth didn't realize that he was raped. The stunned expression on his face was quickly covered, but it was there long enough for Cloud to notice.

"You may not have been physically harmed, that's true," Dr. Tallion said, with a level stare at the impassive man, "But surely you acknowledge that you were subjected to emotional trauma? You were forced to watch one of your soldiers being tortured for information you had. You must have felt terribly guilty. You were forced into sexual intercourse with him. Such things cannot simply be brushed aside because you didn't suffer any physical injuries."

Dr. Tallion gave Cloud a questioning look before he continued, "That is the main thing that Cloud wanted to talk to you about today, Sephiroth. Are you willing to listen to what he has to say?"

Sephiroth looked up from his lap and finally turned to face Cloud. "Yes," his voice was hesitant, "Go ahead, Strife."

Cloud struggled to sit up straight again. Right, this was his chance, he couldn't blow it again. "Yes, sir. It's pretty much what I was trying to say when you first came to visit. I need to apologize to you for my part in your rape. I'm sorry, sir." There, he had done it! He hadn't even stammered or anything. It would all be okay now.

Except... Sephiroth wasn't saying anything. He was just sitting there looking like a deer caught in the headlights. Had he been too abrupt? But beating around the bush hadn't worked and it had just gotten more and more awkward. He looked at Dr. Tallion, pleading for help.

"Sephiroth, are you okay?" Cloud thought the doctor sounded like he was trying to approach a wild animal. Though that might not be too far off in this case. "Did you hear what Cloud said?"

"I heard. Thank you." Sephiroth looked at his watch and stood. "I need to go now, I have a meeting to get to."

"Sephiroth, please wait. I know that this is difficult, but it's important that you recognize that you were raped as well, even though you may find it hard to believe."

"No, I have to go. I'm sorry, Cloud." Sephiroth backed towards the door as though he was afraid the two men in the room would attack and keep him there. He reached the door and fumbled with the knob before getting it open. "Sorry," he repeated, before turning and fleeing down the hallway.

***

Sephiroth ran. He heard Zack shouting his name, but he didn't even slow down. He couldn't stay here. He couldn't talk about it. He was going to be sick. Fortunately, he made it to the washroom before vomiting. His mind was reeling. How could Cloud want to apologize to him for _raping_ him? Was that what he had been trying to say the other night? That he was raped? It was ridiculous. He was a monster. Monsters don't get raped.

He heard someone open the door and stood up from the toilet. He flushed, washed his hands and rinsed his mouth out before glancing up at the mirror. He looked like shit; there were dark circles under his eyes, he was much paler than usual, and his hair was hanging limply, lacking its usual shine. He hadn't slept at all last night, afraid of dreaming again. And he had only eaten when Zack forced him to. It would start affecting his work soon, he knew. That would just lead to more trouble. He stared into his silver eyes and sighed. The slit pupils only served to remind him that he wasn't human. He had to stop acting like one.

After splashing his face with cool water and running his fingers through his hair, Sephiroth straightened and left the washroom. He would avoid seeing Strife again at all costs; the boy was only a distraction and distractions needed to be avoided. It wasn't good for Strife to see him, either. Their meeting today had clearly upset him; Zack and the shrink didn't have any idea what they were talking about. Nothing would be made better by discussing their feelings with each other. With his new resolve in mind, Sephiroth left the hospital and returned to his duties as the General of ShinRa's army.


	9. Chapter 9

Zack had been unable to convince Sephiroth to talk about what had happened at the therapy session or during his capture again. He had retreated behind his general's mask and seemed content to stay there. As far as Sephiroth seemed to be concerned, life was the same as it had always been. The only real difference was that he was going out on more missions than usual, and he always went alone. Whenever Zack mentioned Cloud, Sephiroth would retreat into his shell and refuse to listen to even a simple update on his condition. Nothing Zack tried would convince him to see him again. It was like he was trying to forget that Cloud had ever existed. Zack let his head drop onto his desk with a clunk. It was so frustrating!

He peeled his forehead off a sheet of paper and glanced up at the clock; Cloud was finally being released from the hospital this afternoon. Zack was going to pick him up and take him back to his place, as there was no point in him going back to the barracks while he was still healing. The doctors had all agreed that Cloud's hand was healing nicely; they would be taking the pins out in a couple of weeks and then he could begin the rehabilitation process. Zack knew that Cloud was looking forward to getting out of the hospital, even if it had taken a lot of convincing to get him to agree to stay with him. He had kept going on about not wanting to be an 'inconvenience'. Zack snorted at the thought. Spiky would probably have his apartment cleaner than it had been in years within a couple of days. Not that that was why he wanted him to stay, of course. Zack snickered to himself at the thought of Cloud in a maid outfit, cleaning his apartment to earn his keep.

He worked diligently for a couple more hours before deciding to hit the gym. It wasn't very busy at that time of day, but he spotted Kunsel in the far corner lifting weights. He jogged over to his friend and tossed his towel down on a nearby bench.

"Need a spotter?" he asked.

"Hey, Zack. Sure, that'd be great, thanks." Kunsel grabbed the freeweights and settled back on the bench. "So how's your kid doing? He's getting out today, right?"

"He's not my kid and yeah, I'm picking him up in a little while."

"You act like he's your kid sometimes. I swear, between him and the General, you're going to go grey prematurely."

"Don't even talk to me about Seph," Zack threw up his hands in exasperation, "I've had enough of dealing with his little tantrums, thank you very much."

"And here I was thinking that was impossible!" Kunsel laughed. "I always thought you'd discovered some sort of general-calming catnip that you were keeping secret from everyone else. Probably so you could have a monopoly over his moods and lord your power over the rest of us mere mortals. How else would you be able to call him 'Seph' and live?"

"What I wouldn't give for something like that..." Zack got a little lost in thought and stared off into space for a few minutes until the sound of Kunsel loudly clearing his throat brought him back to reality.

"Hey, Spotter Boy, take these for me already!"

Zack hastily grabbed the weights from his friend and set them back in the rack. "Sorry, man. Want to switch?"

"Go for it," Kunsel sat up and wiped down the bench before taking Zack's place. "So I take it your miraculous powers aren't working so well? Because he seems fine to the rest of us."

Zack added a few more weights to the bar and lay down. "Trust me, Kunsel, he's not. He's barely keeping it together and the worst thing is, he doesn't have a clue how close he is to breaking. I just don't know what else I can do. He's absolutely refusing to talk about what happened."

"What _did_ happen?" Kunsel sounded curious. "Everyone's been so hush-hush about the whole thing. They didn't even tell the Firsts who went to investigate what happened."

Zack made a noncommittal noise. "Can't talk about it, you know that."

"Well, you can't blame me for trying." Kunsel shrugged. "Anyway, don't be too hard on yourself about it. You're only human, remember."

"Yeah, I know. So how'd your last mission go? It was near Junon, wasn't it?"

The two friends chatted easily for the better part of an hour before Zack realized he was going to be late if he didn't get moving soon. He made plans to meet up with Kunsel next week for drinks then went to take a quick shower. Spiky was sick to death of being stuck in the hospital for so long and Zack didn't want to keep him waiting.

***

"So this is me, Spike," Zack opened the door to his apartment with a flourish. "Come on, I'll give you the grand tour."

"I've been in your apartment before Zack," Cloud said exasperatedly.

"But only ever as a guest," Zack's voice held all the patience of someone trying to explain addition to a cat with the belief that they'd succeed. "You haven't been here as a roommate before. It's a completely different tour!"

"Why, does the toilet move according to whether or not a person lives here?"

"What? Don't be ridiculous! Now pay attention. This is the coat closet." Zack pointed to the set of folding doors next to the entrance. "You can't hide things in there when guests come over because they _always_ open it. Even if you tell them to just dump their coats on the couch." Zack led Cloud left from the entrance into the kitchen. "This is the fridge. If it starts making weird noises, you have to kick it on the bottom right side or it'll stop working. Trust me, that's not good."

"Okay, weird noises, kick the fridge. Got it."

"Good. Now this is the coffee maker. It's your friend. _Never_ insult it or hurt its feelings in any way. It's a little temperamental, you see, so you have to treat it nicely."

Cloud rolled his eyes. "Be nice to the inanimate objects, check. Anything else?"

"I don't thi—oh! There's a fire extinguisher under the sink. Just in case you decide to use the stove."

Cloud gave him a look that had 'Are you an idiot?' written all over it.

"I'm serious! There's a thing with the pilot light; it's not my fault!"

"Uh-huh. May I ask why you don't just fix these things?"

Zack shrugged apologetically. "I dunno, I just never bothered. Anyway, moving right along. This'll be your room; I cleared most of the junk out, but there's still some stuff in the closet. If you need the space, just toss it in my room and I'll do something with it." Zack opened the door on his small guest room. There was a double bed in one corner and a small dresser beside it. Two bookshelves with a few knick-knacks stood against the far wall. Zack had brought Cloud's footlocker from his barracks and it had been placed at the foot of the bed. "Make yourself at home."

"Thanks, Zack," Cloud flashed a smile at him. "I really appreciate this. I wasn't looking forward to going back to the barracks and having to watch everyone else training while I sat around like a lump with my hand in a splint."

"It's no problem, Spiky," Zack ruffled his hair. "You'll be able to get back to training before you know it. Now get settled while I order us some pizza and then we can watch a movie or something."

"Sounds good." Cloud grinned and nodded.

Several hours later, the two young men lay zoned out on the couch. Two large pizzas, several beers on Zack's part, and a marathon action movie session had drained them completely of the will to move. Zack finally mustered the energy to poke Cloud with his foot.

"Hey, Cloud," he mumbled. "You should go to bed."

"Hmm?" Cloud yawned widely. "Yeah, I guess." He rolled off the couch and stumbled towards his room. Zack thought it was a good thing Cloud was already in his pyjamas; he'd probably end up sleeping in his clothes otherwise. He glanced at the mess in the living room and decided that shutting off the TV would suffice for now. He'd clean up in the morning. He stood up and rolled his shoulders, stretching them. It was kind of nice having a roommate. He hadn't lived with anyone since he was promoted to First Class and he found he missed having someone else in the house. He made his way down the hallway to his own bedroom and collapsed there. He fell asleep thinking that he'd need to find a way to get Seph and Cloud talking to each other again. It would suck if he couldn't hang out with his two best friends at the same time.

***

The sound of terrified screaming interrupted Zack's dreams. He sat bolt upright and looked around confusedly for the source. He was in his apartment, who would be screaming there? There didn't seem to be anything wrong. The recollection that Cloud was staying with him drifted across his foggy mind and he grasped at that thought. It was important. Suddenly his brain was fully awake as it dawned on him; Cloud was here, Cloud was scared, he was the one screaming. Zack flew out of his bed, nearly tripping over the sheets in the process and ran to Cloud's room.

"Cloud!" he shouted as he burst into the room. "What's wrong!?"

Cloud was tangled in his blankets, thrashing around wildly and screaming at the top of his lungs. Zack rushed to his side and grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Cloud," he said while shaking him gently. "Cloud, it's okay. Wake up."

The screaming gradually tapered off to be replaced by great, shuddering sobs. "Zack?" Cloud's voice was unsure.

"Yeah, it's me, buddy. You're okay, it was just a nightmare." Zack held Cloud tightly in his arms and stroked his hair. Cloud clung to him and shook for a good fifteen minutes.

"'M sorry, Zack. Didn' mean t'be such a pain," his words were muffled as he kept his face buried in Zack's shirt.

"You're not a pain, Spiky. Don't be an idiot."

"Am too. Should've taken the sleeping pills they gave me." Cloud pushed himself away from Zack and leaned back in his bed. "I was just so tired, I didn't think I'd need them and Dr. Tallion said not to take them too often."

"You." Zack poked him in the chest. "Are _not_ a pain. Or a burden or anything else you might call yourself. You're my friend. Have you been having a lot of nightmares?"

Cloud nodded. "Every night unless I take the pills."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Didn't want to bother you. I'll get over them eventually."

Zack sighed. "You really are an idiot, Spiky. I _want_ to help you deal with this shit. Not telling me is what bothers me the most. Do you want me to get your pills for you?"

"I'll get them, they're just in my bag." Cloud shoved himself off the bed and started rummaging through the duffel he had brought from the hospital. Zack went to the kitchen and came back with a glass of water.

"Here you go." Zack handed the glass over.

Cloud tossed a small white pill into his mouth and chased it down with the water. "Thanks, Zack."

"No problem, Spike. You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, it'll just take a little while for it to start working. I'm fine now, though."

"Good, I'll just stay with you till you fall asleep again, okay?"

"You don't have to, I'm fine."

"I know that, dork. But I'm still staying." Zack gave Cloud a playful shove so he lay back on the bed and started fixing the blankets. When Cloud was settled, Zack sat on the edge next to him and watched as sleep slowly drifted back over him. Long after his breathing had evened out and his tense body had relaxed, Zack remained by his side, softly stroking his wild spikes. After more than an hour, Zack finally went back to his own room, exhausted.

***

"Zack! Your stove sucks!" Cloud shouted down the hall towards the room where Zack was getting changed. Cloud was nervous; he was meeting Aerith for the first time tonight. He had heard so much about her, but had yet to meet her. So Zack had invited her over for dinner and Cloud had volunteered to do the cooking. He wanted to make a good impression, so he had called his mother to ask for her recipes. He had been working all afternoon and now he was fighting with Zack's stove trying to get the broth to stay at a simmer.

"Stupid piece of shit," he grumbled at it.

"Are you insulting my appliances?" Zack appeared from around the corner looking surprisingly put-together.

"Never, Zack. Your stove isn't fit to be called an appliance."

Zack was about to start protesting when the doorbell rang. He hurried to the entrance to answer it and Cloud heard a cheerful woman's voice greeting him. He turned away from his battle with the stove and wiped his hands on his apron just as Zack came back leading his girlfriend. Aerith was a beautiful young woman with long brown hair and big green eyes. She was holding a bouquet of flowers and smiled widely at him.

"Hi, Cloud. I'm Aerith." She held out a delicate hand to shake.

Taking her hand, Cloud smiled back. "Hi Aerith, nice to meet you." A clicking sound drew his attention back to the stove; it had gone out again. "Shit! I mean, darn! Sorry, Aerith. Zack, I need this thing to stay lit, on low heat, for fifteen minutes. That's all! Please?" Cloud turned to Zack hoping for some sort of miracle from him.

Zack gave a long-suffering sigh, "Let me see what I can do."

"This looks delicious, Cloud," Aerith said. "What did you make?"

"Maultaschen. They're a specialty from my hometown. They were invented during a particularly cold winter to disguise the fact that the villagers were eating Nibel Wolf from Odin. Wolves are sacred to Odin, but they had to eat them or they'd starve. So they hid the meat inside the Maultaschen, hoping that Odin wouldn't notice. They're also called 'Herrgottsbscheißerle' which means 'Little Cheaters on God'." Cloud cringed as he noticed he was babbling about something Aerith probably didn't care about at all. She had just wanted to know what they would be eating, not the history of Nibelheim!

"So, wait a sec," Zack interrupted his thoughts, "We're eating _wolf_?"

"Nah, you can't get good Nibel Wolf in Midgar so these are just made with ham and beef. Although I appreciate that you tried to disguise how disgusted you were."

Aerith giggled as Zack spluttered. "That's a cute story. Did Odin ever catch on?"

"We're pretty sure he did, he's a god, after all. But we think he gave us a pass for at least _trying_ to be sneaky about it."

Zack had gotten the stove going and the broth was once again simmering, so Cloud crossed his fingers and starting placing the maultaschen in the pot. He left Zack in charge of maintaining the temperature and retrieved the potato salad he had made from the fridge. He found what could pass as a vase for Aerith's flowers and set them and the salad on the table.

"Where did you find flowers this nice in Midgar, Aerith?" he asked.

"I grow them. There's an abandoned church down in the slums where flowers can grow for some reason. Zack built a cart for me a few months ago and now I have a little business selling them."

"That's wonderful! I'll bet you make a fortune."

"Not really. It doesn't seem right making a lot of gil for something I don't really work for."

"Don't listen to her, Cloud," Zack called from the kitchen. " _She's_ the one making the flowers grow. They wouldn't be anywhere near as nice if it wasn't for her."

Aerith blushed. "That's not true, I just talk to them. It's nothing special."

"Well, they look pretty special to me. You must be doing something right." Cloud grinned and went back to the kitchen where he started dishing out the food. "These are ready, you guys."

They gathered around the table began digging in. Aerith was nice to talk to, Cloud decided. She had an aura about her that made him feel safe and calm; it was no wonder Zack was so in love with her. The meal passed pleasantly; Zack and Aerith did most of the talking, with Cloud content to sit and listen. When Zack began clearing the dishes away, Aerith turned to him.

"You should have Zack show you the way to my church sometime," she said. "It's a nice place to go if you're feeling troubled and I could always use a helper with my flowers."

Cloud blushed and wondered how much Zack had told her about what had happened to him. Before he could speak, Zack piped up, "That's a great idea, babe. There's no point in sitting here alone all day while I'm at work. What do you think, Spike? I could take you down there tomorrow if you want."

"That'd be really nice, as long as you don't mind me being there," Cloud smiled at the thought of spending more time with Aerith. He didn't feel attracted to her in a romantic way; he had figured out that he was gay several years ago. But he had a feeling that just being around her would be good for him. And if he could make himself useful while his hand was healing, that would be even better. He hated being idle.

***

Zack took Cloud down to Sector 5 the next day, as promised. The church was _amazing_. It somehow managed to be crumbling and majestic at the same time. The hole in the roof that Zack claimed to have fallen through let some light in from above the plate and it cast the building with a golden yellow tinge. Broken pews littered the sides of the main room and several of the stained glass windows were broken. But in among the debris, flowers were growing from beneath the broken floorboards. A large section near the altar of the church had had the floor torn up entirely to make room for a breathtaking flower garden. Cloud immediately felt at peace upon entering the sacred space.

He spent the day there, helping Aerith prune the flowers and pick weeds. He also spent a good amount of time just staring off into space, thinking about nothing in particular. He hadn't been able to do that since he had joined Shin-Ra and had forgotten how nice it could be to not be worrying about anything. He began going back every day and eventually he started talking to Aerith about what had happened. It was different talking to her than talking to Dr. Tallion. He liked the doctor, but sometimes it felt like he was just trying to pick him apart. Aerith was different, however. She seemed to understand what he was trying to say even when he couldn't get the words out. And it never felt like she was judging him or trying to get him to talk out of pure curiosity on her part. It also helped that she had met Sephiroth on several occasions and knew what he could be like. She had a lot of insight into his thinking that had helped him in trying to understand why he had left so suddenly after their failed group therapy session.

The nightmares became less frequent as the weeks passed, although they never stopped altogether. But Zack was always there to calm him down when he did dream. It seemed like hardly any time at all before he was back in the hospital to get the pins taken out of his hand. The surgery to remove them was fairly simple and they used several Cures to fix up any remaining signs of the injury.

Zack was thrilled when the pins came out. He invited Aerith over again and the three of them had a small celebration. He splurged on champagne and fancy appetizers because he wouldn't let Cloud cook for his own party. Cloud wasn't entirely sure was they were celebrating for, exactly. His hand was still borderline useless; he had lost a lot of strength and the flexibility of his fingers was terrible. Still, he got into the spirit of things until late into the night when he and Zack were collapsed on the couch once again.

"You know this means you're going to have to stop being such a slacker, right?" Zack playfully jabbed him in the ribs as he spoke.

"I'm not slacking!" Cloud protested.

"I know that, but still, you've got a lot of work ahead of you if you still want to be a SOLDIER. Do you? Still want to be one, I mean."

Cloud's voice seemed far away when he answered, "Yeah, I do, more than anything. And I'm willing to work as hard as it takes to get there. It's just," Cloud paused, "Do you think Sephiroth will mind if I join? He doesn't seem to want anything to do with me."

"I'm glad you still want to join; I'll work with you to get you there. And don't worry about Seph; he'll come around eventually. Now let's get some sleep. It's past your bedtime, Spiky."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks once again to everyone who reviewed! I love you all! So without further ado, I bring you chapter 10.

Sephiroth stepped into the noise-filled room that stank of old sweat and wrinkled his nose, wondering if it would be worth it ask for a private gym that he wouldn't have to share with the rest of SOLDIER. He was making his way past the cardio equipment towards the weights, when he noticed a familiar mess of blond spikes bobbing on one of the treadmills and came to a halt, staring. His mind raced to come up with a reason for Cloud to be using the SOLDIER gym and got nothing. He had to go, quickly, before... Cloud looked up and stared directly at him. Sweat was dripping off his brow and the white t-shirt he was wearing was plastered to his lean chest. Bright blue eyes blinked once as if trying to register what they were seeing, and he stopped the treadmill and pulled the headphones out of his ears.

"General, sir." Cloud sounded a bit breathless. "I didn't expect you to be here, I'm sorry. I'm using Zack's pass and it's usually pretty dead around now. I know I'm not supposed to use this gym, but it's hard being around the other army guys now that I can't keep up with them and Zack said it wouldn't be a problem."

Sephiroth held up his arms to try and stem the onslaught of excuses before Cloud hyperventilated and passed out. "It's okay, Cloud. I'm not upset that you're here. Please continue." He turned and started back towards the exit.

"General," Cloud called out to him, "Please don't go. You came here to use the gym, didn't you?"

Sephiroth found himself saddened by the desperate tone in Cloud's voice. He didn't want to be the cause of that tone, so he stopped and turned back. "I did, but I don't wish for you to feel uncomfortable. I can come back another time."

"I'm not uncomfortable, sir. Please, can we talk? I know you don't want to, but there's something else I need to say and then you can ignore me for the rest of our lives, if you want. I just need you to listen to me one more time. Please?"

The pleading voice stopped him from refusing right away and Sephiroth had to take care to keep the emotions running through him off his face. He didn't want to go with him, something would come out and Cloud would look at him like the monster he really was. He had spent all this time avoiding him for a reason. What if he wanted to ask more about why he had asked him to put on the show? What if someone overheard Cloud say that Sephiroth had been raped? He'd be humiliated; he'd lose the respect of his men. He couldn't do it. Sephiroth looked deep into the piercing blue eyes that were begging him with such earnest intensity. He couldn't refuse, as much as he wanted to. "All right, but not here. Do you mind if we go somewhere else?"

Cloud hesitated momentarily before he nodded. "Where do you want to go?"

"Just somewhere so Shin-Ra won't be eavesdropping on us. We could go to a coffee shop or something, if you'd be more comfortable in a public place."

"That would be good, thanks. Just let me go grab a quick shower and get changed, sir."

"Of course, I'll wait for you outside the locker rooms. I'm going to run back to my office for a moment, so if I'm not there when you come out, please wait."

"Yes, sir." Cloud nodded before hopping off his treadmill and heading to the lockers.

Sephiroth watched his retreating back for a few moments before realizing what he was doing. Cloud was trusting him enough to be willing to speak to him alone again; leering at him wasn't going to encourage that. He left the gym and jogged back to his office where he grabbed the set of clothes he stored there. His civilian ensemble consisted of a pair of jeans, a plain t-shirt, regular combat boots as opposed to his thigh high ones, sunglasses, and a hoodie. He quickly changed and pulled the hood up over his highly recognizable hair. He looked at his reflection in the office window and sighed. Why had he agreed to this? It was a huge mistake; he hadn't even been able to stop himself from staring at Cloud's ass as he walked away. What was he supposed to say over coffee? He let his head bang against the window. What was he thinking? He _had_ to do this; he _could_ do this. He had given his word that he'd be back.

Sephiroth pushed himself off of the window and took a deep breath. It would work out; he just had to have a little faith in himself. He made it back to the locker rooms a couple minutes before Cloud exited, looking refreshed and carrying a gym bag over his left shoulder. His face broke into a grin when he saw Sephiroth.

"Wow, sir, I barely recognized you."

"It's a necessity, I'm afraid, if we don't want a legion of fangirls hanging on our every word." Sephiroth began leading the way through the halls towards the elevators. "And I'm going to have to ask you not to refer to me as 'sir' or 'general' either while we're out."

"But then, what should I call you?"

"Sephiroth will do just fine."

"But won't your fans recognize that?"

"Well, yes, but as long as you don't go shouting my name across the street or something, that shouldn't be a problem. I simply prefer being called by my name when I'm not on duty."

"Oh, okay. I can do that."

Sephiroth swiped his keycard for the glass elevator and ushered Cloud in before stepping into it himself. He hit the button for the lobby as the doors shut. He glanced over at Cloud and noticed that he was pressed tightly against the wall and clinging to the rail with his eyes squeezed tightly shut. He looked rather pale, too.

"Cloud, are you okay?" he inquired gently. He was probably panicking about being in an enclosed space alone with him. He should have known better, he berated himself.

"I'm fine, s—Sephiroth. It's just that I don't like elevators; I get motion sickness and this one is kind of freaking me out what with the glass and the plummeting down really fast."

Oh, it wasn't because of him. An amused expression crossed his face as he pondered the fact that Cloud was afraid of heights and got motion sickness. Then it struck him; Cloud was afraid. He tentatively reached out a hand to touch Cloud's and was startled when he suddenly latched on to his arm.

"Sorry, s—Sephiroth. Zack teases me every time I have to go in an elevator; you can too, if you want."

His heart was pounding and Sephiroth wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do, but figured that _anything_ would be better than standing there like a statue, although he didn't think teasing would be a good approach, either. He placed the arm that wasn't otherwise occupied around Cloud's back and gave him a slight squeeze.

"It's okay, there's nothing to be frightened of." He hoped that he sounded comforting. "Just keep your eyes shut. I'm not moving, am I?" The head pressed against his arm shook a slight 'no'. "Then we must not be moving." The elevator began slowing down so he added, "See, we're here already."

Cloud leapt back as though he had been burned; apparently the thought of getting caught clinging to the General was enough to override his fear of the elevator. He wondered if Cloud knew that the elevators were monitored. Probably not, he decided. The doors opened into the lobby and Cloud rushed out, then spent a few moments composing himself. Sephiroth positioned himself to block the views of any overly curious secretaries as he listened to Cloud taking several deep, steadying breaths.

"Thanks, I'm good to go now, sir. I mean, Sephiroth! Sorry."

"Not a problem, I appreciate your efforts." Sephiroth smiled warmly before leading him out into Sector Eight.

They went to a small coffee shop that was far enough from headquarters that most personnel tended to avoid it. It was still fairly crowded though; that would make Cloud feel more comfortable and lessen the chances of them being noticed or overheard. They ordered their drinks and, after a small argument, Cloud allowed Sephiroth to pay. Sephiroth took off his sunglasses and chose a table in the back corner, positioning himself so that he would be able to see the entire room. Cloud took the seat opposite him and stirred his mocha aimlessly while Sephiroth waited for him to begin talking. After what seemed like an eternity, Cloud looked up at him.

"S—Sephiroth," Cloud began, "Aerith told me that you probably really need to hear this, so, I'm just going to say it. But, um, please don't run away again like you did last time."

Sephiroth felt hesitant, but agreed that he shouldn't be running away like a coward if a mere trooper was willing to stick around and talk about these things. "Okay, I'm listening. And I'll stay, I promise."

"I forgive you," Cloud's words were so rushed they almost merged together, but they were clear enough for Sephiroth. "I don't blame you for what happened, but I know that you're sorry. So I want you to know that you're forgiven."

Sephiroth couldn't believe the effect those simple words had on him. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He hadn't even realized he had been carrying such a burden until it was suddenly gone. Those blue eyes had stared straight into his own as Cloud spoke and Sephiroth knew he was being truthful. After several long moments of stunned silence, Sephiroth found his voice.

"Thank you," the words were barely more than a grateful whisper. Something came back to him then, Cloud's words from that day in the hospital. He had said he was sorry too. Sephiroth understood now, that just as he had felt guilty for hurting Cloud, Cloud had felt that exact same guilt. And that he had the same power to relieve that guilt.

"I forgive you too, Cloud."

With those words, Cloud's face lit up in a brilliant smile. "Thanks, Sephiroth." The smile and words of gratitude made his heart beat a little faster. If he could make someone smile like that, maybe he wasn't such a monster after all. He knew he still had inappropriate feelings for Cloud, but he was well known for his self-restraint. He could simply choose not to act on them and Cloud would never know. He'd just have to avoid riding in elevators with him from now on.

"So what do we do now?" Cloud asked before taking a sip of his drink. Sephiroth noticed he used both hands to hold the cup. "I mean, can we be friends? Zack wants us to be, I know that much. This whole thing has been pretty hard on him."

"Yes, I believe we could be friends. I've noticed Zack hasn't quite been himself lately, I'd like to help him, if I can."

Cloud nodded vigorously. "Me too. He's done so much for me."

"How are you healing, by the way?" Sephiroth hoped it wasn't inappropriate to ask such a thing.

"Pretty well." Cloud flapped his right hand around, perhaps to show that it didn't hurt. "They took the pins out a couple weeks ago and I started going to physiotherapy. That really sucks, but I have to go if I want to get better."

"Why does it suck? I've never been."

"Well, I lost a lot of 'range of motion'." Cloud made sarcastic little air quotes. "And so they try to stretch the muscles and tendons out. They attach these weird electrode things to my hand to stimulate the muscles. That hurts a lot; I don't like that part at all. And I have to spend like fifteen minutes dunking my hand in hot, then cold water. Only the hot water's never hot and my hand feels like a Popsicle when the fifteen minutes are up."

"That does sound unpleasant." Sephiroth thought it probably wasn't the best idea to say what he really felt; that it sounded like a wonderful way to spend the day in comparison to Hojo's lab.

Cloud grinned. "Ah, it's not so bad, I guess. And I _am_ getting better. They measure how much flexibility I've got every day so I can see the progress I'm making. And this morning they upgraded me to green putty!"

"Green putty?" Sephiroth was thoroughly confused. Was that supposed to be a good thing?

Cloud laughed and pulled a small plastic tub out of his bag. "Green putty!" he announced, holding it out proudly. "I'm supposed to squeeze it to work on getting the strength back. I started out with blue, but they upgraded me to green today, which is stiffer."

Sephiroth cautiously took the tub and poked at its contents. It was indeed some sort of putty-like substance that would be acceptable for squeezing. It seemed rather soft, but then, Cloud was unenhanced and injured. Perhaps it provided a challenge to him. He looked up and he felt himself smile at the excitement he saw in him.

"That's wonderful, I'm glad you're making such good progress."

"That reminds me," Cloud said as he put the tub back in his bag, "I wanted to thank you. You _were_ the one who paid for me to be healed with materia, weren't you?"

Sephiroth blinked a few times. "What? I'm not sure I follow, I authorized materia to be used on you, but it didn't cost me anything. And if I hadn't authorized it, Zack would have. I was just there first, so I signed the forms."

"But then, who paid for it? Shin-Ra doesn't pay for materia to be used on grunts. That's what they told us when we joined. Am I going to be getting a huge bill in the mail?" Cloud's face suddenly filled with horror at the thought.

"Oh, I understand now. No, you won't be getting a bill, don't worry," Sephiroth reassured Cloud, who appeared to be in the process of calculating his wages for the next several decades. "People join Shin-Ra thinking that they'll be getting Cures for every bump and bruise, but that's not logistically possible, you see. So we tell the new recruits that materia's only for the higher ranks."

"So... it's not?" Cloud still looked mystified.

"No, if an injury's severe enough, materia will be used to heal it."

"So why did you need to authorize it?"

"Well, high-level materia _is_ difficult to obtain, and doctors have to be trained to use it properly. So the authorization of the ranking officer is needed before it's used. Under normal circumstances, flesh wounds would be allowed to heal on their own as it helps people learn from their mistakes if they have to suffer for them. I told the doctor to heal everything in your case; your injuries weren't because of a mistake you made and there was nothing to be learned from them."

Cloud's cheeks tinted a faint pink at that. "Thank you, Sephiroth," he mumbled over the top of his mocha.

"You're welcome."

Silence fell over the small table, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Both of them were simply digesting what had been said. A sudden blaring noise caused Sephiroth to jump and nearly spill his coffee. He grudgingly reached into his pocket for his PHS and gave it a dirty look before answering it. He noticed Cloud snickering slightly from behind his hand and quirked an eyebrow at him as he spoke to Lazard.

After a couple minutes, he hung up and turned to Cloud again. "It startles me; Zack keeps changing the ringtone," he offered as an explanation.

Cloud just nodded and gave him a tiny smile. "I know, it was still a bit funny to see you jump like that. Makes you seem a bit more real."

"Hmph, I think you've gotten a little too comfortable with this friendship thing."

Cloud suddenly recoiled. "I'm sorry, sir! I didn't mean to ov—"

"I was joking, Cloud. I know that it can come as a bit of a shock, but I _do_ have a sense of humour. And believe me, I find the thought of the Demon of Wutai jumping when his PHS rings just as amusing as you do." Cloud visibly relaxed and Sephiroth continued, "I do have to get back to headquarters, however. Some important business has come up that I need to attend to right away."

"Okay, thanks for talking with me."

"Thank _you_ for making me talk. I needed it." Sephiroth hesitated before asking, "Would you like to train together some time?"

"I—I'd l—love to," Cloud spluttered, "But you shouldn't waste—"

"If you say I shouldn't waste my time on you, I'm going to be very upset," Sephiroth warned.

Cloud ducked his head. "Then, I'd love to."

Sephiroth nodded his approval. "That's better. Will you walk with me back to headquarters?"

The walk back was a lot less uncomfortable than the walk there and Cloud was still smiling when they reached the Sector Eight fountain.

"Are you still staying with Zack?" Sephiroth asked.

"Uh-huh, for a little while longer, probably."

"Then I'll call his place to work out a time when we can start training."

"Thank you, I'd like that a lot. I'll talk to you later, then." Cloud held out his right hand and Sephiroth shook it gently, not wanting to risk damaging it. He would have to find out from Zack how exactly to go about training with him and what his limits were.

"Yes, have a good evening."

Cloud looked extremely light on his feet as he practically skipped around down the street towards the military residences. This was going surprisingly well and Sephiroth found himself wondering what exactly he had been running away from all this time. The time apart had probably done some good, though. It must have, he _knew_ he hadn't been anywhere near prepared to start a friendship with Cloud right away. A smile crossed his face as he entered the building in front of him; he had a new friend.

***

"Zack! Zack! Guess what!" Cloud burst into the apartment shouting excitedly.

"Umm, the Great Silver General _doesn't_ hate your guts and wants to be friends with you?"

Cloud ground to a halt and stared at the man lying sprawled on the lone couch in the living room. "How'd you know?" he asked accusingly.

"I'm a fantastic guesser." Zack sat up and thumped the cushion next to him. "Sit down, bud." Cloud sat, looking very suspicious. "An alternate explanation might be that I just got off the phone with him. He called and demanded to know what your schedule was and what type of training you can do while you're recovering."

Cloud grinned widely and nodded enthusiastically. "He offered to train me, Zack! Me!"

"Told you he didn't hate you." Zack playfully punched Cloud on the shoulder. "So you're cool with being friends with him?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Still got a crush on him?"

"Zack!" Cloud felt his face turn beet red and buried his face in his hands.

"What? It's important for the best friend to know these things! Well, whether you're living in denial or not, I'm glad you guys worked it out. Now I don't have to run interference anymore. So I gave him your schedule and he's going to shuffle his around so he can meet with you at least a couple times a week. He'll call when he gets it worked out."

"Okay, sounds good. I'm going to go make dinner; what're you in the mood for?" The blush was fading a little from Cloud's cheeks now that Zack seemed to have dropped the topic of his crush.

"I'll eat anything, you know that. But there's something I want to ask you about first."

"Sure, what is it?" Cloud sat back down.

"You know that now that you've been promoted from private, you can get a place on your own, right? You don't have to stay in the barracks."

"Yeah, I know that."

"So I just wondered if you had made any plans for your living arrangements?"

"Not really, the pay's not good enough to be able to afford a place."

"Then it's settled, you can live here. I like having a roomie who'll cook for me."

"What? Zack! I can't! I know this place isn't the greatest, but I doubt I can afford even half the rent!"

"That's why you have to keep cooking for me. Don't worry about the rent, we'll figure out what you can afford and you can pay that. You already do way more than your fair share of chores around here, so that can count towards the rest of the rent. Now, no protesting! Go make my dinner, boy!" Zack kicked Cloud in the butt as he got off the couch.

Cloud shrieked and laughed as he ran towards the kitchen. "Yes, sir! Right away!" He couldn't help the broad grin that swept across his face as he started hauling out pots; things were definitely looking up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! A breakthrough! That was a long time coming. Many thanks again to urplesquirrel for all her help.
> 
> This next part is totally skippable, but I wanted to share my "I learned something new" story. I was talking to some friends who had also been to physiotherapy, and the topic of those electrode things that no one seems to know the name of came up. Apparently, I'm a total freak because I was shocked to discover that normal people don't like them. I had absolutely no idea! That was my favourite part of physio! I loved them because if you turned them all the way up (and fiddled with the settings), the actual physio didn't hurt as much. You got the wonderful pain of electrocution instead. Which in my opinion, was way better than the pain of bones being bent in ways they don't want to bend. So yeah, I learned that they're not actually meant to be used as painkillers and they have an entirely different purpose.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, yet again to all my reviewers. You guys are the best! I know I'm beginning to sound like a broken record, but it's true. And thanks to urplesquirrel for all her wonderful help. I got really stuck on this chapter and she helped a lot with getting me unstuck.
> 
> I started posting this on FF.net and I know it's horribly behind, but I'm working on getting it at least close to caught up. So I want to say hello to everyone who came over from there (and I'm sure there are lots), because who wants to wait for new chapters when they're already posted? Anyways, here's chapter 11 for your reading pleasure.

Cloud drummed on his knuckles as he waited outside the training room for Sephiroth to show up. It was their first training session together and he had no idea what to expect. He had waited all week to hear from Sephiroth before he had _finally_ called last night to say he'd be able to meet with him this evening. Cloud had known he was probably really busy, but he hadn't been able to help the feeling of relief that had washed over him when he saw Sephiroth's name on the caller ID. He hadn't wanted to believe that he would forget about him. After all, Sephiroth had been the one to ask if he wanted to train together. But he had called, and he had apologized for not calling sooner. And now he was late. Cloud looked at his watch again, twenty-five minutes late.

Bouncing nervously on his toes, Cloud looked inside the training room again; it was still empty. Maybe it wouldn't feel like he had been waiting forever if he hadn't shown up half an hour early.

The sound of heavy boots running down the hall caught his attention and he turned away from the door. Sephiroth was looking at his PHS as he ran towards him. His knee-length hair was flying wildly behind him while somehow still managing to look elegant. Cloud wondered how he did that and if it could be taught, like training your hair to part a certain way. That probably wasn't what Sephiroth had been thinking when he had made his offer. He tried to keep the relieved expression off his face as Sephiroth came to a stop in front of him.

"Sorry, Cloud." Sephiroth didn't sound out of breath at all, Cloud noted with a twinge of jealously. "I got stuck in a meeting with the board and couldn't escape. Heidegger and Lazard got into an argument over funding and it just went on and on. I wasn't sure if you'd still be here; thanks for waiting."

"It's no problem, sir. I'm sorry you got stuck in such a boring meeting."

"Why are you sorry? It wasn't your fault."

"No, I know that. It's just something people say. I'm sympathizing with you, is all."

"Oh, I see. Thank you. Well then, are you ready to start?" Sephiroth opened the training room door and motioned for Cloud to enter. "I thought we'd start with some materia training. Zack said you're not ready to work with swords yet and that he's been going through the kata with you. So I thought materia would be good; it'll help a lot if you can cast a few spells by the time the SOLDIER exam comes around. Is that okay?"

"That sounds really good, sir." Cloud could hardly believe it. Sephiroth was going to let him use materia! Real materia that you can cast spells with, not the independent materia that the regular army would occasionally be given for use on a mission. He couldn't keep the excitement from showing on his face and was delighted when Sephiroth smiled back.

"Then come over here and give me your arm." Sephiroth pulled a silver armlet out of his pocket and began attaching it to the arm Cloud held out. Cloud felt a flush that threatened to creep over his cheeks as Sephiroth's cool fingers brushed over his skin as he worked the clasps. Now wasn't the time to be blushing like a schoolgirl, he lamented. All too soon, it seemed, the armlet was attached and Sephiroth was stepping back.

Sephiroth rummaged through his pockets again and removed a small green ball from it. "Here," he said, "It's a Fire. It's only been used a couple times, so you can build it up yourself."

Cloud took the glass-like object from him with an awed expression. "Thank you, sir." He looked closely at the tiny piece of the Lifestream held in his hand. It was a dark green colour with what looked like tiny licks of red and orange flame swirling inside it. "Is it really for me, sir?"

"I'm off-duty now and there's no one around; you can call me Sephiroth, if you wish. And yes, it's really for you. I quite enjoy working a piece of materia up from the bottom. I thought you might like to as well," Sephiroth explained as though he thought it might be a weird habit to have.

"I'd like that very much. I like working for things, my mom always told me that things are much more satisfying if you have to work hard for them."

"Your mom sounds like a very smart lady."

"Nah, she just liked using that as an excuse to make me chop wood or something."

Sephiroth laughed quietly, "You chopped wood?"

"Of course! Not everyone's from the big city, you know. Some of us had to work to stay warm in winter." Cloud grinned, enjoying the easy banter they were falling into.

"Zack did say something about you being a country bumpkin, I guess it was true."

"I'm not a—" Cloud cut himself off and gave an exaggerated sigh. "No, you're right, I'm a total bumpkin."

"So, have you been shown how to equip materia?" Sephiroth turned the conversation back to the lesson. Cloud shook his head, so Sephiroth took his own armband out and put it on. It was purple with a silver band at the top and bottom. The Shin-Ra logo was engraved on the outside. "It's relatively simple, as long as you don't think too hard about it. That's the mistake I made when I was first learning. I couldn't understand how something solid could be forced through another solid object. But just remember that it's magic and it doesn't have to follow our rules."

He removed one of the materia from the armlet and held it up. "Hold it in your right hand," he instructed. "Can you feel the life in it?"

"It feels kind of warm. Is that what you mean?"

"That depends. Is it warm because you've been holding it?"

"No." Cloud considered the question. "It feels like I'm holding my hand next to a campfire to warm them up."

"Good. Now hold the materia over the armlet, like this." Sephiroth placed the sphere on top of the slot that would hold it. "And imagine that warmth flowing into the bracer, containing it." With that, Cloud saw a greenish waft of smoke get left behind to dissipate, as the magic seemed to melt into the slot.

"Wow, I've never actually seen that before." Cloud was eager to try it himself. He held the materia the way Sephiroth had shown him and... nothing. He looked up at the man before him, expecting to see a mocking smirk on his face. Instead, Sephiroth just nodded.

"Try it again, it'll work. Try to imagine yourself flowing through the materia and into the armlet. If you think of it as a part of yourself, it might be a bit easier."

Cloud closed his eyes and felt the materia in his hand giving off that warm glowing feeling. It was like when the fire's burned down to coals and it just radiates a low heat. He imagined leaning into the fire, falling forwards through nothingness and diving into the tiny centre of the bracer. There the heat would be contained and start to grow again, ready to be called out at any time. Cloud gasped as the solid object in his hand suddenly disappeared, and his eyes flew open just in time to see the last threads of smoke floating away into nothingness. His lips spread into a wide smile and he looked closely at the bracer. There was his materia, nestled safely in the slot, ready to be called upon.

"Good job." Cloud wondered if he was just projecting his own feelings onto his interpretation of Sephiroth's voice, or if he was really that proud. "Angeal once told me that Zack took several days to learn to equip materia. Although, Zack has always been more of a physical fighter, so that's not really surprising. Still, I'm very impressed that you got it on your second try. That shows real talent. But now comes the hard part."

***

The training room door swung shut behind Cloud and Sephiroth watched it swing back and forth several times before coming to a halt. When it was clear that Cloud was well and truly gone, Sephiroth allowed himself to sit on one of the hard benches before his fragile façade fell from his face. They had worked for over an hour together; over an hour in close proximity to the trooper who could make all his problems disappear with a single smile. All his problems except one, that was. Cloud's scent, the way his eyes lit up with pride when he cast his first spell, the self-depreciating protests when he tried to refuse the armlet Sephiroth gave him, and the way he smiled shyly when Sephiroth had refused to hear his protests. All those things combined to remind him of the feelings and urges he knew he shouldn't be having.

His fingers had seemed to move of their own accord when he had fastened the armlet around Cloud's arm. They had stroked the soft skin and he had leaned in to inhale his scent before he had even realized what he was doing. Cloud must have noticed his inappropriate attentions because he had blushed slightly and tensed up. He knew it was because Cloud still wasn't comfortable around him. Why would he be? Cloud had forgiven him, that was true, but it didn't mean he trusted him or wanted anything to do with him. He had probably only accepted the offer to train together because he was _the General_. And Sephiroth had gone and given him materia and a silver armlet. What had he been thinking? It was practical, of course; Cloud would have had to borrow an iron bangle or something from stores if he wanted to practice with the materia alone. Those things never conducted the magic properly and were usually so old and beat up that they'd likely just fall apart. But the regular army members never had their own materia and armour. Cloud had probably been embarrassed to receive it, and that sort of thing was likely to inspire jealousy among the troops. Or else he thought Sephiroth was trying to bribe him.

He shoved himself off the bench, growling in frustration. Cloud hadn't acted offended; he had appeared to be really happy, in fact. Sephiroth walked back through the now-quiet building and across the compound to the SOLDIER residences. He got to his apartment and made himself a quick meal as he continued to think. He was an excellent tactician and could read his enemy's moves in a fight without even thinking about it. But understanding how they felt was an entirely different matter. Cloud was a mystery to him, but a mystery he wanted to get to the bottom of. His reactions today had been amazing to watch; the child-like excitement that emanated from him made him so beautiful. A part of him wanted to keep those expressions all to himself. He wanted to have Cloud smile only for him, lest someone else see and decide to steal him away.

Sephiroth felt his groin stir as he thought of Cloud and he immediately tried to banish the thoughts from his mind. But his body had a mind of its own and his erection continued to grow. He considered another cold shower, but was reminded of the 'talk' one of the lab assistants had given him when he hit puberty. His body needed release or toxins would begin to build up and that it would come out one way or another. At least if he was awake, he could have some control over what he thought about. Figuring he should get it over with, Sephiroth went to he bedroom and shucked his clothes in a business-like fashion.

Lying back on the bed, he purposefully cleared his mind of all thoughts and reached between his legs. It didn't have to be good; it just had to be done. But he wasn’t able to keep his mind blank and his thoughts kept drifting back to Cloud. He growled in frustration, but his cock twitched excitedly each time he pictured Cloud next to him, under him, kissing him roughly... It didn't take long to reach completion and he grabbed a tissue to catch the mess. Sighing, he rolled over and pulled the sheets over himself. He felt like a disgusting creep for having jerked off while thinking about Cloud, but he had to admit, he did feel a lot more relaxed now.

***

The tealeaves floated aimlessly as Sephiroth stared into his mug. If he stared hard enough, he could begin to see shapes and patterns in them. That clump looked a bit like a sword and the one just below it looked like a chocobo's crest. Or Cloud's hair. He still couldn't get Cloud off his mind and it was starting to annoy him. He shouldn't be this distracted by something as simple as lust. He looked at the clock on the wall and saw it was nearly ten; Zack would be arriving soon. He always came by to talk to Sephiroth as soon as he got in and, while Sephiroth usually looked forward to seeing him, he was rather dreading it this time.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, a booted foot kicked at his door instead of knocking and his friend barged in carrying a coffee mug and a paper bag.

"Mornin' boss!" Zack dropped the bag on his desk as he took a seat. "Brought us some bagels to share, so take your pick," he said as he gestured to the bag.

"Thanks." Sephiroth opened the bag and withdrew the plain wheat bagel he knew would be there. He wondered what Zack would do if he ever took the weird flavoured ones that were slathered in cream cheese. It might be worth choking it down just to see the look on Zack's face.

"So, how'd your training session with Spike go?" Zack asked before grabbing his own bagel.

"Fairly well, I believe. I was late, but Cloud didn't seem to be too upset about that. I was surprised that he had waited."

"Why _wouldn't_ he wait?" It seemed like Zack thought the idea was inconceivable. "A training session with you? You could have not shown up at all and he'd still be sitting there. He'd be heartbroken, of course, so don't go trying it or I'll hunt you down, but he'd wait."

Heartbroken? That was an odd choice of words. Sephiroth filed it away for further contemplation at a later time. "I see," he said, "I won't do that, then."

"Cloud showed me the materia and armlet you gave him; pretty fancy, don't you think?"

"I thought it would be more practical than having to borrow the items from stores all the time. Was it too much? Was he upset by it?" Sephiroth hoped Zack would be able to tell him. He should have asked him beforehand, now that he thought about it.

"Upset? No way, Seph. He could hardly believe it, but he was thrilled. It was a nice gift, man. Don't doubt yourself so much."

Sephiroth looked up from his tea, "He really liked it?"

"Yeah, he really liked it. And he liked the lesson, too. Enough that he wouldn't shut up about it until I left to come here. He said he had a lot of fun even though he was ready to pass out by the end of it. I think the only reason he didn't was because he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of you."

"So I drove him too hard," Sephiroth's voice filled with loathing.

"No you didn't. Didn't I just tell you to stop doubting yourself?" Zack gave him an exasperated glare. "Cloud worked hard, it was tiring; training is like that, you know that much. He was fine again this morning, so obviously it wasn't too strenuous. But hey, what made you decide to teach him magic? Not that it wasn't a great idea, but I thought we had decided that you were going to do hand to hand with him?"

Sephiroth found himself fidgeting uncomfortably. What was he supposed to say to that? That he didn't trust his self-restraint to extend to grappling with the boy? "I—I just thought that magic isn't often taught to the regular army and that it would help him when the SOLDIER exams came around."

"Uh huh... What's with the bashful look, Seph?"

Shit, Zack could probably see right through him. He quickly began rummaging through his inbox looking for anything that might give him an excuse to send Zack away. There, that would work, the request had come in a few days ago, but he had ignored it so far.

"If that's all, Zack, I've got to go see Professor Hojo." Sephiroth stood up from his chair.

"And you're not running like mad in the opposite direction? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, I suspect he has discovered the materia that was used against me. I'd like to know what it was so I can start working on methods to counter it."

"Hmm, okay then. Are you going to be able to train with Spiky again this week?"

"Yes, I should have time the day after tomorrow." Sephiroth breathed a sigh of relief. Zack didn't seem to have caught on to his inappropriate feelings, or else he was ignoring it for now.

"Good, he's looking forward to it. He starts back with his duties with the army next week; I'll get you a copy of his new schedule so you can work out your own. Good luck with Hojo. Or do you want me to come for moral support?"

"I don't think you need another excuse to avoid your work, Lieutenant. But I appreciate the sentiment." Sephiroth left the office as Zack was saying something about that not being the only reason he volunteered to go.

***

The sterile white halls of Hojo's lab were frigid and Sephiroth felt goose bumps break out over his skin. He hated this place. There were too many memories of too much pain. He found himself reconsidering Zack's offer of company and almost turned back, but someone in a lab coat spotted him before he got the chance. The lab worked like a well-oiled machine and immediately upon being noticed, the machinery started churning. Sephiroth found himself sitting under the glaring florescent lights of an examination room waiting for Hojo before he even realized it.

Professor Hojo walked into the room holding a clipboard and glared at Sephiroth. "Get on the bed," he stated shortly.

"It's a table, not a bed, and I shouldn't need to since I'm not here for an examination or treatment." Sephiroth kept his voice perfectly neutral as he spoke. "I came because you sent a request for my presence and I assumed you had discovered what had been used against me when I was captured."

"I sent that request two days ago, boy. Why didn't you come right away?" Hojo adjusted the coke bottle glasses on his hooked nose.

Sephiroth shrugged. "I was busy."

"Busy doing what, Sephiroth?" Hojo's tone was disbelieving; as if he couldn't imagine what Sephiroth could possibly have to do that was more important than him.

"That's none of your business. Do you have the information or not?"

Hojo started muttering to himself and writing furiously on his clipboard before turning his attention to Sephiroth once more. "No, I don't know what was used on you yet. I need to run some more tests. Get on the bed."

"Fine," Sephiroth said icily, "I guess it's true that you're not competent enough to figure these things out with any level of efficiency." Sephiroth figured that if he was going to be tortured it should at least be for a reason. And, he thought, as he lay back on the cold metal table and Hojo started prodding at him with a little more viciousness than was necessary, he deserved it for lusting after Cloud. This would be his repentance.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate daylight savings time... If I was giving the chapters titles, this one would be called "I can't believe I passed fourth grade French". Which is why it's a good thing I'm not giving the chapters titles. Thanks again to urplesquirrel and everyone who reviewed. CNome, your concrit is amazing, thanks.

A big green truck pulled to a halt outside the Shin-Ra building and Sephiroth got out of the front seat. The week-long mission had gone well; AVALANCHE was on the run and their higher-ranking members were growing few and far between. Soon they'd be nothing more than an ill-organized gang that posed little threat to anyone. Sephiroth smiled at the thought; he didn't necessarily disagree that Shin-Ra was harming the Planet, but he would never forgive them for what they had done to Cloud. And him, he supposed. It was fairly late in the afternoon, so Sephiroth decided to just swing by his office to check in on things and then he'd take the rest of the day off.

There was a message from the science department requesting his presence, again. Hojo had been demanding that he go to the lab nearly every day for the past few weeks and Sephiroth was beginning to think that the scientist was just playing with him. Crumpling up the note, Sephiroth left his office and went down to the training floor. Cloud was usually there after his duties for the day were finished and Sephiroth was curious about how he was progressing. He glanced in through the doors of the various training rooms before spotting Cloud's distinctive blond spikes in one of the smaller ones. He was alone, with his back to the door, going through the basic kata with a practice sword.

Sephiroth watched Cloud's fluid movements for several minutes. His form was excellent, but Sephiroth could tell he was struggling to hold the sword with his injured hand. The tip of the sword kept dropping and Cloud was constantly readjusting his grip. Still, he kept going until one particular swing, when he lost his grip entirely and the sword clattered across the floor. Sephiroth expected that he'd just pick the sword up and keep practicing and was shocked by sudden outburst of shouting and swearing. He watched as Cloud screamed and kicked the wall before collapsing against it, burying his head in his arms.

Panic flooded Sephiroth's mind; what was he supposed to do? Should he call Zack? Zack would know what to do. But Zack was out on a mission and wouldn't be back until tomorrow, he remembered. Shit. He hovered at the door of the room, debating until Cloud's shaking shoulders and dejected posture made up his mind for him. He had to do _something_. Bracing himself, he pushed the door open and silently walked over to Cloud.

"Cloud?" he asked cautiously.

Cloud jumped at the sound of his voice. His head flew up so quickly that he cracked it against the cement wall he was leaning against. He scrambled to stand up and salute at the same time.

"It's okay, Cloud. Sit back down," Sephiroth struggled to find the words that would put him at ease. "Please, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I was just worried. Will you tell me what's wrong?"

He noticed a nasty black eye and several cuts and bruises on Cloud's face. Cloud was still hesitating in his half-standing position; he looked like he just wanted to run as fast as he could out of the room. With his mind working frantically to remember what Zack would do, Sephiroth sat on the floor next to where Cloud had been sitting and patted the floor. That seemed to work, at least. Cloud slid back down the wall and wrapped his arms around his knees again. Zack was of the firm belief that physical contact would always make people feel better, so, despite his reservations, Sephiroth reached out a hand and laid it on Cloud's hunched back.

"What's wrong?" he asked again.

"It's nothing, sir. It's just been a rough day." Cloud didn't look up as he spoke.

"I see. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really, but thanks. I'm okay. I should go home."

Sephiroth could tell that Cloud was lying about being okay, and he didn't want to let him go until he found out how he had acquired those bruises. He ran quickly through his memories of Zack trying to get him to talk when he didn't want to and food seemed to feature in most of them.

"Would you like to come to dinner with me?" he asked hesitantly.

"I don't want to bother you, sir. I'll just heat something up at home." Cloud stood up and started towards the door.

"Nonsense, Cloud. Zack's not going to be there, there's no point in both of us eating alone." Sephiroth was getting desperate as Cloud got closer to the exit. "I insist." He could have smacked himself as Cloud froze like a spooked chocobo at those words. "I didn't mean that, I'm sorry. You don't have to, but I would quite like to have dinner with you. Please."

Cloud wavered a bit before turning back. "Okay. Can I go home first to get changed?"

"Of course. I need to take a shower and get changed as well, so why don't we do that and meet afterwards?"

Cloud nodded and Sephiroth thought he noticed a faint red tinge to his cheeks. He picked up the fallen sword and replaced it in the racks after checking it for damage. Sephiroth wasn't quite sure _why_ , the practice swords were hardly works of art. Shrugging, he held the door open for Cloud and wondered again at what was definitely a blush as he ducked through the door.

***

Sephiroth waited patiently in front of the elevators for Cloud; he was feeling oddly nervous and hoped that he hadn't changed his mind. He heard a door open off to his left and looked over to see Cloud coming out of the stairwell. Cloud took one look at him and his face turned bright red.

"I—I'm really sorry, sir," he stammered. "I'll be right back." With that, Cloud turned and ran back into the stairwell and out of sight. Sephiroth looked around, puzzled at what could have caused Cloud to run off like that. Maybe he forgot something. He decided he should at least wait near the stairs since Cloud wouldn't be taking the elevator back down. He hadn't realized that he would avoid taking the elevators, although he supposed it made sense, since Zack's apartment was only on the fourth floor.

When the door opened again ten minutes later, Sephiroth had to bite back a chuckle. Cloud had changed his outfit entirely and attempted to flatten his spikes. He was now wearing dress pants that were a little bit too short and a white button up shirt with a striped tie. Glancing down at his own outfit, Sephiroth realized why Cloud had changed and felt bad for nearly laughing. He had chosen black slacks with a green silk shirt; he supposed it was a bit dressier than Cloud's regular clothes, now that he thought about it.

"You look very nice, Cloud." Sephiroth felt a compliment was in order seeing as how he had made an effort to dress up even though he was obviously uncomfortable in the clothes.

"Th—thank you, Sephiroth. You look nice too." The blush was back and Cloud kept staring at his shoes.

Sephiroth led the way to his car and Cloud fidgeted with his seatbelt the entire way to the restaurant. It was really odd, considering how well they had been getting along recently, that Cloud would suddenly start acting so uncomfortable. Sephiroth wondered if he had said something else wrong, but they had hardly spoken, so that didn't seem likely. When they pulled up to the front of the restaurant, Sephiroth handed his keys to the valet and turned to Cloud, who was staring slack-jawed at the building.

"Shall we go in?"

"L'Astrance?" Cloud spoke the name of the restaurant in a disbelieving tone.

"It's one of my favourite places to eat," Sephiroth stated. "Do you not like the food here?"

"No, it's not that, it's just, I can't afford to eat here."

"Don't worry about that. I invited you out, I wouldn't expect you to pay." Thinking it would take a bit more encouragement to get the reluctant trooper through the door, Sephiroth gently took hold of Cloud's elbow and steered him into the posh restaurant. Cloud followed wordlessly and stood in the foyer, blinking at the modern decor as Sephiroth spoke to the maître d'.

They were quickly ushered past the crowd of people waiting to be seated and brought to a curved booth in a darkened corner of the dining room. "Please have a seat, Messieurs." The maître d' bowed as he spoke. "Your waiter will be with you shortly. May I offer you a drink to start?"

Sephiroth ordered a bottle of his favourite wine and watched, worriedly, as Cloud stumbled over asking for a glass of water. There was definitely something off about him tonight. When the waiter arrived, he filled both of their wine glasses and left them to peruse the menus after going through the day's specials.

Cloud took a tiny sip of his wine and chased it with a larger gulp of water before looking nervously at the menu in front of him. Seeing his blank expression upon opening it, Sephiroth scooted around the bench to sit next to him. "You really are a country bumpkin, aren't you?" Sephiroth joked.

He hadn't thought it was possible, but Cloud turned an even deeper shade of red and seemed to curl in on himself. "I'm sorry, sir! I've never been to a place like this before!"

Cloud looked to be on the verge of tears again and Sephiroth found himself instantly regretting not asking Zack for advice first. This was all going horribly wrong and he had no idea why. Still, he had to try and salvage the situation, so he tried again. "I didn't mean it like that, Cloud. I was just kidding and I apologize if I upset you. I can help you with figuring out the menu, if you'd like. And you don't have to drink the wine if you don't like it."

Cloud looked up at him then, and attempted a smile. "I don't understand any of this," he said sheepishly. "Can you just pick something for me?"

"I can do that." Sephiroth nodded. "Is there anything you don't like?"

"No, I like pretty much everything."

"Well, this place is really well known for their roast duck dish with cherries, does that sound good?"

"Yeah, that would be fine."

"Okay, then." Sephiroth slid back around to his side of the table. "I'll get that for you and a couple of appetizers we can share."

Sephiroth placed their orders and they sat in silence for a while. Cloud was still taking the occasional small sips of his wine and looking around the dining room with a somewhat awed expression.

"You really don't have to drink the wine if you don't want," Sephiroth said.

"I know," Cloud said and smiled, "I don't mind it, really. I'm not used to wine, we mostly have beer in Nibelheim and Zack only ever buys beer."

"Ah, I understand. The wine will go well with your meal, I assure you."

"Thanks." Cloud smiled a bit brighter this time. "Sorry for freaking out like that, it's just been a bad day and I was expecting we'd go to a diner or something, not the nicest restaurant in Midgar. It caught me totally off guard. I'm glad I changed my clothes, though."

"It's not a problem. I must admit, I don't go to diners very often; I was always taken to places like this when the President wanted to show me off," Sephiroth tried to explain why he had chosen this restaurant.

"Didn't you ever go out to eat with your friends?"

"No, at least, not until a few years ago. I wasn't allowed to leave the Shin-Ra Tower except on official business until after I was promoted to general and I realized that they had no way of stopping me." Sephiroth glanced around the room. "You know, I've never really noticed that this place has a dress code, but they appear to, don't they? Everyone else is dressed much nicer than us."

Cloud laughed, "They probably never say anything to you because you're General Sephiroth. You could show up in sweatpants and a tank top and they'd still let you in."

"I should try that sometime, to see what their reaction is. It could be very entertaining to offend all of high society."

The waiter appeared at their table with the appetizers and Sephiroth saw him shoot a disapproving glare in Cloud's direction, which caused him to wither once again. "I should make sure the tank top is sufficiently stained and that the sweatpants have holes worn in the seat for maximum impact." Sephiroth smiled at the boy across from him and pointedly rolled his eyes at the waiter. "Or does the 'chef d'étage' not approve?"

"It is not my place to say, Monsieur, please enjoy your meal." The waiter bowed hurriedly and rushed away from the table.

"Well, he's not getting a tip. What a rude little shit." Sephiroth was pleased to see Cloud grinning again.

He briefly explained what it was they were eating and which fork to use and watched as Cloud took a cautious bite.

"This is really good." Cloud bobbed his head enthusiastically and Sephiroth felt somewhat relieved. At least not _everything_ was going wrong. As they began to dig in to the appetizers, Sephiroth decided to risk ruining the good mood by broaching the subject of Cloud's breakdown and the bruises on his face.

"I know I'm not good at these sorts of things like Zack is, but are you sure you don't want to talk about what happened today?"

"I was just frustrated, that's all. I keep trying and trying but it feels like I'm not improving at all." Cloud stabbed angrily at a tomato on his plate as he spoke.

"I don't think that's true at all," Sephiroth said. "You have a hard time noticing changes because they come gradually, all the time. But I was away for a week and noticed a huge difference when I saw you. You couldn't hold a sword before I left; now you're practicing the kata with one. That's a major improvement in my eyes."

"Yeah, but I couldn't even hold it steady."

"It's true, your hand is still weak, I noticed you needed to readjust your grip quite often. But your form was excellent and you didn't make any mistakes with the drill; that's what's really important. Your strength will come back as long as you keep practicing."

"Thanks. I know that, I guess it's just hard to believe it sometimes. Especially when I compare it to where I was before this happened." Cloud paused, and then added, "You're not bad, you know. At cheering people up."

Sephiroth wasn't sure what to say to that, so he stayed silent. Fortunately, Cloud didn't seem to be expecting a response and the waiter interrupted once more to deliver the main course. Sephiroth fixed him with his best intimidating glare and got a feeling of sadistic glee as the man fumbled with the dishes. He noticed Cloud giggling slightly behind his hand and nearly felt like giggling himself. He could do this; he had tackled one touchy subject, now he only had one left to go.

Before he got the chance to ask, however, Cloud spoke up, "How was your mission?"

"It went quite well. I can't talk about the details of it, but it was nice to get away from Midgar for a while."

"Can you tell me where you went, or is that classified?" Cloud seemed genuinely curious.

"It was in the Corel area and we also stayed at the Gold Saucer for a day. The men quite enjoyed that. I don't really see the point to most of the attractions there, but it was a break from the lab so I appreciated the time off."

"Zack told me you've been going to the labs a lot lately."

"Hojo keeps demanding that I go," Sephiroth grumbled. "He says he's trying to find out what brought me down, allowing me to be captured, but I think, at this point, that he's just toying with me."

"Then, why do you go?" Cloud asked.

Sephiroth considered the question. Why _was_ he going?

Cloud noticed his hesitation and quickly added, "You don't have to tell me, I was just curious. It doesn't seem right that you should have to do something you hate if it's not even helping you."

"You're quite right, Cloud. I can't think of any reason why I should continue going for those particular experiments. If Hojo had any hope of figuring out what was used on me, he would know by now."

"Then you should stop doing everything he says. He's got no right to experiment on you for fun." Cloud sounded remarkably indignant at the thought of someone treating him like a lab rat.

"It's not that easy, I'm afraid. Professor Hojo is the sole person in charge of my health. I have to see him to keep up with my mako treatments."

"Oh, I didn't realize that. Is there no one else who can do that stuff?"

"Not that I know of. There was another doctor for a while who worked on a similar project, but he was just as bad. Still, I'll take it into consideration. Thank you, for being so concerned about me."

"You're welcome." Cloud smiled and Sephiroth noticed him wince slightly as the largest cut on his cheek was pulled taut.

"What happened, Cloud?" he asked quietly. "Where did you get those injuries?"

"Just training, it's no big deal." Cloud avoided his eyes when he muttered his answer.

"Are you sure? Because they don't look like the sort of injuries you'd get training with the regular troops, and Zack isn't that careless."

"Like I said, it's no biggie. I got into a bit of a fight this morning, but it was just fooling around."

"I see," Sephiroth said. It didn't appear that Cloud was willing to tell him what actually happened. He decided to drop it for now and ask Zack when he returned if he knew anything about it.

The rest of the dinner passed without incident and Sephiroth remembered to leave a note beside the tip saying it was for the kitchen staff only. He also spoke with the maître d' about his displeasure at the way his guest was treated and the man assured him it would be dealt with. He disliked people fawning over him, but he supposed that his fame could be useful at times. Cloud was bright red again when they finally left the restaurant.

***

Zack lazed in the back of the helicopter that was bringing him home from his mission in Wutai. It had been a stressful trip; the locals were still resentful of Shin-Ra's presence in their country and although Zack could hardly blame them for that, it still hurt to get cursed at and have things thrown at him. The new Turk, Reno, was piloting and was doing a pretty good job. Much better than Cissnei at any rate. He hated having to fly with her behind the controls. As they were nearing the landing pad on top of Shin-Ra Tower, Zack caught a glimpse of silver flapping in the wind. He wondered what Sephiroth was doing out there; he didn't think he'd be waiting outside unless there was an emergency. But if there had been an emergency, he would have been contacted. He checked his PHS, no messages. It was definitely weird, though.

As soon as the chopper was close enough, Zack was out the doors, landing on the tarmac with a thud. "Seph! What's going on?" he called out.

Sephiroth waved him over. "I need to talk to you, I didn't want to wait."

"Aww, ya missed me that much? I love you too, Seph." Zack attempted to throw his arms around him but was dodged neatly.

"Can we just go?"

"Sure, my place or yours?" Zack was faster this time and got an arm around Sephiroth's shoulders. He grinned as he felt Sephiroth's inaudible growl at the contact. This sort of thing was good for him.

"Mine."

***

Zack cracked his beer open and flopped onto Sephiroth's white designer couch. "So what did you want to talk to me about? There's never been anything important enough that you've waited for me on the roof before."

Sephiroth sat at the opposite end of the couch and took a drink. "I simply wanted to catch you as soon as you got in. I want to ask you about Cloud."

"What about him?"

"Is he being bullied by his peers? I saw him yesterday and he had a black eye and several cuts. He would only tell me that he got in a fight, but I don't believe that's true."

Zack sighed and took a long swig of beer before answering, "Yeah, he is."

"You already knew!? Why haven't you done anything about it?" Sephiroth sounded pissed.

"There's not much I _can_ do." Zack shrugged his shoulders. "Cloud won't say who it is and I can't be with him all the time. He insists he can handle it, so I need to trust that he'll come to me if it gets really bad. Spike's tough; he won't let them walk all over him, if that's what you're thinking. He's more than a match for a few troopers who'll never get out of the regular army."

"I refuse to believe that there's nothing we can do, Zack."

"I've spoken with his commanding officer as well as some of the higher-ranked members of his platoon; they're watching out for him as best they can."

"That's it? He had been beaten up, and you're telling me 'they're watching out for him'? That's not acceptable."

"Look, Seph, I know you want to help, but Cloud doesn't want it. Sometimes the best thing you can do for a person is to let them deal with their own problems. You stepping in for him would probably just embarrass him in front of his squadmates."

"I... don't want to embarrass him." Sephiroth looked extremely put out. "Will you tell me if it gets worse?"

"Sure, Seph, I can do that. So you saw Spike? Didn't you only get back yesterday?"

"Yes, I went to see him after I arrived. He was frustrated by his training so I invited him out for dinner as a distraction."

Zack smirked inwardly; he had observed the two of them in secret a few times, just to make sure they were handling things all right. He had noticed them both sneaking looks each other when they thought they wouldn't be caught. Looks that implied they wanted more than a mentor-student relationship.

"How'd that go?" he asked.

"It was quite awkward, I thought. Cloud kept blushing and was acting rather oddly. I didn't understand why, though. I did eventually figure out that he was uncomfortable with the restaurant I had chosen."

"Why? Where'd you go?" Zack was beginning to get the feeling he knew where this was going. Cloud had always been pretty terrible at keeping his emotions in check.

"L'Astrance, over in Sector Six."

Zack was dumbfounded. Was Sephiroth really that clueless? "Seph," he began, "You _have_ dated before, right? I'm not just imagining that?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" Sephiroth was looking just as confused as Zack was shocked.

"Yes or no, Seph."

"I've had relationships, I don't know that I'd say that I've _dated_. At least, not from what I know of dating. Most of the people I've been with were just looking for another notch in their bedposts. I never really felt any desire to do anything more with them," Sephiroth sounded unhappy.

"I'm sorry to hear that, man. But, um, places like L'Astrance are usually where people go on dates." Seeing Sephiroth open his mouth to protest, he continued, "Or out for expensive corporate dinners. But that's probably why Cloud was acting off; he was confused about your intentions."

"I didn't mean it like that! I just wanted to take him out like you do with me," Sephiroth got off the couch and started pacing, sounding terrified at the misunderstanding. "You always take me out to dinner when I'm feeling stressed so I thought I could do the same with Cloud. I wanted to help him."

"Calm down, Seph," Zack said. "It's not the end of the world. Was he uncomfortable for the whole dinner?"

Sephiroth paused mid-stride. "No. He relaxed once we got the menu sorted out and then he seemed to have a good time. He still blushed a lot and he got really flustered when I walked him to your apartment."

Zack laughed, "He was probably wondering if you were going to kiss him or not."

"I wouldn't do that, Zack!"

"Would you want to?"

" _What!?_ " Sephiroth sounded so astonished that Zack couldn't help but laugh even harder.

"Would you want to kiss him? I know you like hanging out with him, I'm just wondering if you're interested in him as more than a friend."

Zack wasn't sure if he had ever seen anyone blush that badly before. Yep, Seph definitely liked his Spiky.

"I—I—" Sephiroth was truly at a loss for words so Zack decided to throw him a bone.

"Because it's okay if you are; he likes you too, you know."

Sephiroth continued looking appalled while he stammered.

"And I don't know many people who would make a point of going to see someone right after they got back from a long mission if they just saw the person as a friend."

"It—is it really okay?"

"As long as you're not just looking for sex from him, hell yeah, it's okay." Zack revelled in his breakthrough.

"I... don't think I am, just looking for sex, that is. I like seeing him smile and I enjoy spending time with him, just talking. I do want to be intimate with him, but I think I want more than that. Is that what you mean?"

"Yeah, that's what I mean, don't go breaking his heart."

"Are you certain he likes me too?" Sephiroth was daring to add a note of hopefulness to his voice.

"I'm certain. You'll have to take things slow, but he does like you. Look, I'm having Aerith over next Saturday to celebrate his birthday. Cloud doesn't want anything big, so we're going to have cake and watch movies. Why don't you come too? If you pay attention to how he acts around you, you can see for yourself. You can also 'test the waters' so to speak, while we're watching the movies, if you want."

"Yes, I'd like to come, very much. But, what do you mean by 'test the waters'?"

"Just try making a bit of physical contact with him, see how he reacts. We've only got one couch and it doesn't take much to brush up against someone when four people are squashed on it."

Sephiroth nodded slowly. "I see. It won't scare him, after what happened?"

"You touch him fairly often already, don't you? When you're showing him something while you're training or you want to get his attention. This is just going a little bit further. He'll pull away if he doesn't like it."

"Okay, I'll try. If you're sure."

"I'm sure, Seph. I'm sure. Now I'm going home to take a shower and a nap; I'm beat." Zack stood up off the couch and showed himself to the door. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

"Yes, thank you, Zack."

"It's no problem, I'm happy to help." Zack walked out of the apartment wearing a grin that stretched from ear to ear.


	13. Chapter 13

The metal table was freezing cold as Cloud sat behind a thin curtain waiting for the doctor to come in. He was nervously drumming on the steel with his left hand; his right wasn't as good at drumming anymore. And the temperature seemed to be affecting it; it had begun aching soon after he arrived in the labs for his preliminary mako testing. Zack had told him not to be nervous, but this place was giving him the creeps. Couldn't they at least have padding on the tables? There didn't seem to be any colours other than white and silver in the whole place. He felt bad for Sephiroth having to come here all the time.

Cloud swung his legs aimlessly and drummed some more. Sephiroth... he wished he knew what he was thinking. He had gone over their dinner together again and again and it still didn't make any sense. It had been the worst date ever and it wasn't even a date. Or was it? Two guys don't just go to restaurants like that on a whim, he was sure. He had made such a fool of himself, though. He was amazed Sephiroth hadn't decided to leave halfway through. But he hadn't! He had been so nice, once again. It felt like his brain was going to explode; he had no idea what he was supposed to think when Sephiroth had sat right next to him to look at the menu, or when he held his arm to lead him into the restaurant. Or, Cloud blushed at the memory, when he walked him back to the apartment and stood so close Cloud felt like he was drowning in his presence. It was like Sephiroth knew about his crush and was just teasing him, except he was sure by now that Sephiroth wouldn't do something like that just to be mean.

"Come on..." Cloud said to no one in particular, "I wanna get this over with."

When no one answered, Cloud let his mind drift back to that night. If Sephiroth hadn't been teasing him, it probably meant that either he didn't have a clue, or that he liked Cloud too. Gaia, he hoped it was the latter. He didn't know if his teenaged hormones could handle much more innocent touching without going insane. As it was, he had shut himself in his bedroom right afterwards to relieve the pressure that had been building up all night. He had been glad Zack wasn't home; it had given him a chance to experiment a bit without any fear of being caught. It was something he had wanted to do for the past little while. Cloud knew he had been introduced to anal sex in one of the worst ways possible, but he also knew that it wasn't _supposed_ to be painful and that a lot of people really enjoyed it. So, with a bottle of lotion and a mind full of dirty thoughts about his crush, Cloud had experimented.

Another ten minutes passed before the curtain was pulled aside by a lab tech in a white coat. Cloud quickly positioned his hands to cover his tenting pants, thankful that his half-hard erection was rapidly deflating now that the reason for his being here had arrived.

"Strife, Cloud. Corporal, regular army?" The tech read off a clipboard.

Cloud nodded.

"Here for mako testing?"

"Yes, sir."

"Hold out your left arm."

This was certainly personal service if he ever saw it. Cloud dutifully held out his arm and a rubber band was tied around it. The tech smacked at the big vein on his forearm and the one in the crook of his elbow before deciding on the former. He swabbed the area with an alcohol pad and stuck him with a rather large needle before he even had a chance to look away. Cloud watched in horror as a little plastic tube was stuck inside his arm. It didn't hurt _that_ much, but some warning would have been nice. Zack had told him exactly what to expect at the testing, but he felt sorry for all the guys who didn't have a mentor to tell them. Apparently an explanation of what they were doing was a little too much to expect from these people.

As soon as the IV was inserted, the tech muttered, "I'll be back," before wandering off.

Cloud sighed, "At least I know he'll be back." And the curtain had been left open so he could look around. There were a bunch of confused-looking young men similarly being stuck with needles by impersonal drones in white coats. One boy, who looked even younger than Cloud, was wincing and brushing back tears with his free hand as the tech fished around in his arm for the vein. He didn't like this place at all; it was way different from the hospital where the doctors smiled and explained everything they were going to do before they did it. And the nurses would tell bad jokes as they were sticking you with the needles. Rick would time it so he told the punchline just as the needle went in. Cloud was always so shocked at how terrible the joke was that he didn't notice the needle.

A doctor came over with the tech following behind pushing a cart with a bunch of syringes on top. That must be the mako. It was a vile greenish colour and looked a bit like what Cloud imagined toxic waste would look like. He found himself wondering what it was that was so enticing about SOLDIER that he was willing to go through this. Zack said that it burned when it was injected and would be agonizing at first. He also said that his adrenaline would kick in after a few moments and it wouldn't be _as_ bad.

The tech had Cloud lie back on the bed and stuck a bunch of monitors to Cloud's chest before handing the first syringe to the doctor.

"This will hurt a little bit," the doctor said before he slowly injected the mako into Cloud's bloodstream.

It burned. It burned like nothing he had ever felt before. It was like his entire arm was on fire and ripping it off at the shoulder would be a less painful option. And then it spread to the rest of his body and it was too late. His head swam and he was glad he was lying down because he would have collapsed otherwise. He wished Zack were here. Or his mom. She would hold him and tell him it would be all right even though it wasn't true. He was going to die from this, he knew it.

Then the fire seemed to go out, like someone had dumped a bucked of water over him. The pain was gone so quickly that it seemed instantaneous. He heard screaming all around him and sat up. The other people being tested were being held down as they screamed and thrashed in agony. He turned and looked at the doctor who had given him the injection and saw an expression of absolute shock on his face. The tech was rattling off numbers from the monitors at an astonishing pace.

"Strife, how do you feel?" the doctor asked.

"Fine, I mean, it hurt like hell, but it doesn't anymore."

"You're not feeling dizzy, or weakened at all? Do you feel like vomiting?"

"No." Cloud was getting nervous. Judging from the way everyone else was reacting, this wasn't normal at all. Zack had told him he'd feel sick afterwards, but he didn't feel any different. "Am I okay?"

"It's fine, your tolerance is probably just a bit higher than average. We'll try injecting some more. Lie back down."

"I have to go through that again?"

"We need to determine the extent of your tolerance; that's the purpose of the tests."

The doctor took another syringe from the table and the pain started once more. Only this time, it wasn't quite as bad, maybe a nine-point-nine on the scale of ten they were so fond of in physiotherapy. It didn't disappear as quickly this time, but it did disappear. When his head cleared, Cloud sat up and listened to the tech list off the meaningless numbers again.

"This is very interesting, Corporal," the doctor said. "I'm going to go get Professor Hojo, so just wait here a moment."

Cloud waited and watched the other men begin stumbling out of the lab, some were hunched over in pain, and some were merely unsteady on their feet. Still others had to be wheeled out in wheelchairs and one left on a stretcher. He wasn't sure though, if he should be glad or not that he was somehow different. He didn't want to see Professor Hojo.

***

Sephiroth hovered outside the testing centre, peering in through the partially covered window. He knew Cloud was being tested today and had come to the labs specifically for that reason, although Hojo thought he was here for his own tests. A tech appeared and pulled back the curtain that was blocking his view and Sephiroth was treated to the sight of a very nervous-looking boy with no shirt on. Unfortunately, Hojo's nasal whine spoiled the moment.

"What are you doing out here, Sephiroth? I need you in room 41B for the experiment," said Hojo.

"Not now," Sephiroth said, "I'm busy. I didn't come here today to be your specimen."

"Then why are you here?"

"These are potential new SOLDIERs." Sephiroth smiled as Cloud didn't even flinch when he was stuck with the needle. "It's my duty to make sure they're up to snuff."

Hojo snorted, "Your duty... Your only duty is to serve as a weapon for Shin-Ra. I don't know why the president insists on giving you other responsibilities."

"Uh-huh." Sephiroth watched, fascinated, as Cloud was left alone, anxiously swinging his legs and drumming on the edge of the table. He looked completely innocent sitting there and Sephiroth wanted nothing more than to rush in and scoop him up, saving him from the pain he was about to go through. But he knew he couldn't; this was Cloud's dream, after all. He wondered at the logic of not allowing anyone to accompany the potentials to the testing. Surely this whole process could be made a lot less stressful if a friend was allowed to be there with them. He understood that security clearance was a concern, but they could have Third Classes, who had been through it before, there to explain the process. It would certainly be better than a bunch of scared young boys trying to cope with it on their own. Sephiroth made a mental note to bring it up at the next SOLDIER meeting.

The whining drone of Hojo's voice was getting louder and Sephiroth reluctantly turned his eyes away from Cloud's bare chest.

"Why are you still here? I told you I'm not playing specimen today," Sephiroth said.

"I'm still here because it's my job to make sure you are in top form," Hojo huffed. "You've been distracted by something lately, and I'm getting quite sick of it, boy. You were not designed to make friends or feel emotions—"

"Then I guess your design was flawed." Sephiroth vaguely registered the sound of Hojo stomping off down the corridor, muttering, and turned back to the window in time to see Cloud being 'encouraged' to lie back on the table. He grabbed onto the window frame hard enough to crack it as he tried to keep himself from running into the room to be with him. But... it was odd, Cloud wasn't screaming like most people do the first time they're injected with mako. He looked like he was in agony, but not to the same degree as everyone else. And then he sat up; that wasn't normal at all. Sephiroth saw him speaking with the doctor before lying back down. Cloud was given another dose, and while he recovered slower than he did for the first one, he still recovered.

The doctor wrote furiously on his clipboard for a few moments before heading Sephiroth's way. Excellent. Sephiroth ambushed him as soon as he stepped through the door.

"Excuse me, Doctor, I was observing the testing and couldn't help but notice that one candidate's strange reaction. Is he okay?"

"General Sephiroth!" The man jumped back from Sephiroth's looming presence. "He's fine, I assure you. He appears to have an extremely high mako tolerance, so I was just going to consult with Professor Hojo."

"By all means." Sephiroth stepped slightly to the side, but not quite enough to give him room to pass. "A high tolerance is quite rare, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is." The doctor held his clipboard in front of him like a shield as he attempted to inch his way around Sephiroth's bulk.

"If you don't mind, I think I'd like to observe any other tests you're going to run. That candidate has shown many other traits we look for in SOLDIERs and I like to keep an eye on the most promising ones."

"Of course, that's fine. You can go right in and speak with him if you'd like."

Sephiroth could almost hear the man's mental scream of 'Get out of my way!' He smirked and stepped aside. Sometimes he truly enjoyed how much he could intimidate people simply by existing.

Now that he had been given free rein, Sephiroth casually walked into the room and over to Cloud's table, which had gathered quite a collection of observers. Lab techs were huddled around it, poking at the terrified boy who had no clue what was going on. Seeing as how he had done so well intimidating the doctor, Sephiroth figured it would work on the flunkies as well.

"Ahem," Sephiroth cleared his throat loudly and everyone, including Cloud, jumped. He saw Cloud open his mouth to speak and gave a tiny, negative headshake. Fortunately, Cloud understood and his mouth snapped shut.

"I need to speak with the candidate privately," he said to the gawking techs, "You may all leave for now."

With that, Sephiroth brushed past them and pulled the curtain back around, leaving enough space on either side so that he could see anyone approaching.

"Sorry, I don't want anyone down here knowing that you and I are friends. I don't trust Hojo half as far as you could throw him. Are you doing okay, Cloud?" Sephiroth reached for his hand without even realizing it until Cloud squeezed his in return.

"Yeah, I guess. This is really freaking me out though. Do you know what's going on?"

Sephiroth quickly told him what he knew and that Hojo would be coming to run more tests. "I'm going to stay here," he said. "I've told them that I'm interested in you because high mako tolerance makes you an excellent SOLDIER candidate. Is that okay with you?"

"Yes." Cloud nodded vigorously and gripped his hand a little tighter. "Thank you."

"The tests are probably going to be quite painful; they'll want to keep giving you mako until you reach your limit. But I won't allow them to do anything I think is unreasonable or unnecessary. You won't become their lab rat, I promise." Giving Cloud's hand one final squeeze of encouragement, Sephiroth let go and pulled back the curtain moments before Hojo and the other doctor walked through the door. He wiped all traces of concern for Cloud off of his face and stood at the head of the table where he knew he'd be out of the way.

"Sephiroth," Hojo said as he approached the table, "What are you doing here?"

"Doctor..." Sephiroth leaned in to read off the initial doctor's ID badge. "Hildebrant has given me permission to observe the tests you're going to run on Corporal Strife. I am interested to know what I can expect of him when he joins SOLDIER."

Hojo shot a glare at Dr. Hildebrant, who quailed visibly. "Very well," he said, "Just stay out of the way or I'll have to ask you to leave."

"Of course."

With that, Hojo turned to Cloud and began grilling him. The fact that he was from Nibelheim raised a great deal of excitement; Sephiroth wondered why that was important and decided to look into it when he got the chance. They gave Cloud two doses of mako at once, which left Cloud trembling and gasping for air after he stopped screaming. Sephiroth stole an opportunity while everyone was busy staring at the monitors to stroke Cloud's hair. Then they made him get up and run on a treadmill for a few minutes. He was stumbling a bit as he ran, but the fact that he was able to do that much was amazing. Sephiroth felt a surge of pride as Cloud bravely accepted another double-dose. He knew that Cloud was tough and determined, but he hadn't quite realized just _how_ tough and determined he was.

The tests continued all afternoon, and, while Hojo was perhaps a little _too_ interested in the 'specimen's' potential, there were no tests that really warranted an objection. Cloud was still a wreck by the end of it, however. They had determined the upper limit of his mako tolerance to be equivalent to that of a Second Class SOLDIER and had pushed him a little bit past that limit, as was the standard. As soon as they were finished, the doctors left to go discuss the results and Sephiroth casually hung around while the techs disconnected the various monitors. Cloud was dismissed with little fanfare and no mention of any after-effects he might suffer. The final dose that had pushed him past his limit left Cloud in a state quite similar to the other candidates, if not a bit worse. Cloud stumbled as he got off the table and Sephiroth roughly grabbed him by the arm.

"I'll walk you back to your quarters, Corporal," he said. Trying to help Cloud walk while maintaining an appropriate level of coldness was difficult, but they made it out of the lab with little trouble. As soon there was no one around, he wrapped his arm around Cloud's shoulders and held him close. Somehow he didn't think that Cloud really cared that he was being too familiar at the moment; he was barely conscious anyway and it was a lot easier to support him like that. They arrived at the elevators and Sephiroth swiped his keycard before remembering about Cloud's hatred of elevators.

"Cloud, are you going to be okay going in the elevator? Because we can take the stairs if you need to."

"There're too many stairs," Cloud mumbled, "I'll manage."

"Okay, let me know if you're feeling sick and we'll get out right away." Sephiroth was relieved that Cloud was willing to attempt the elevator; sixty-eight floors was a long ways and while he _would_ carry Cloud down them, he'd rather not if it was avoidable. He half-carried Cloud onto the elevator when it arrived; glad to get out of the labs and into the relative safety of the elevator. They were monitored, of course, but only the Turks had access to the footage of the glass elevator and Sephiroth trusted Tseng to have his back.

He hit the button for the third floor and held Cloud a bit tighter as they began their descent. At least the glass elevator was fast. Cloud had his eyes shut tightly but didn't seem to be doing too badly. He was probably too out of it to bother being afraid. When they arrived at the designated floor, Sephiroth poked his head out and glanced around. A few office drones were milling about, but other than that, the area was quiet, just as he had hoped. From here it was just a short dash to the emergency exit and they'd be able to get to the residences while avoiding the crowded lobby.

Sephiroth got them to Zack and Cloud's apartment and rang the doorbell. When no one answered, he gently shook Cloud's shoulder. "Cloud, Zack's not home. Where's your key?"

Cloud roused himself enough to fish around for a few moments in his pants pocket and pulled out a ring of keys. Sephiroth managed to grab them before they were dropped and thanked Shiva that he hadn't had to get them out of Cloud's pocket himself. He got the door open and manoeuvred Cloud around the spare pairs of boots and piles of dirty laundry. Sephiroth noticed, as he picked his way through, that the usual mouldy takeout boxes were missing and the laundry piles weren't quite as high as he was used to. He figured that must be Cloud's doing, since there was no way Zack was going to start leading a sanitary lifestyle any time soon. That had been his main motivation behind getting his own place; there would be no one to nag him to keep it clean.

Sephiroth got Cloud into what used to be the spare room and placed him on the bed. He then pulled off his boots and wrapped the covers around him.

"Do you need anything, Cloud?"

"No, thanks. I'm just tired, I think."

"All right, get some rest and call if you need something." Sephiroth left the room, but left the door open so he would be able to hear if anything was wrong. Cloud had been given a _lot_ of mako today and, high tolerance or not, he was going to be a lot worse than just tired in a couple of hours.

It was weird that Zack wasn't here; Sephiroth had expected that he'd be waiting at home for Cloud. He dug out his PHS to give him a call and see what was going on. Zack picked up on the first ring.

"Seph, sorry, I can't talk now," Zack said. "I'm trying to figure out what happened during Cloud's test. The other candidates left ages ago and they won't let me in the labs or tell me anything. Can you get me in there?"

"That's good to hear," Sephiroth said quietly, "I thought you had forgotten about him or something. I brought Cloud back to your place; he's resting now."

"Well, that's a huge fucking relief! How long have you been sitting around wondering where I am?"

Sephiroth wondered why Zack seemed so angry; shouldn't he be happy that Cloud was back home and safe? "We just got here a few minutes ago, Zack. I wanted to get him lying down before I called you. Was that wrong?"

"You just got there? But the tests—" Zack interrupted himself, "No, Seph, it wasn't wrong. Thanks for taking care of him. Sorry I got upset. I'll be there in ten, will you wait?"

"Yes, of course." Sephiroth hung up and settled back on the couch.

***

When Zack burst in through the door ten minutes later, Sephiroth was in the kitchen getting Cloud a glass of water. The look Zack gave him was one that demanded an explanation, _now_. Still, he ignored him and made his way to Cloud's room where he set the water on the bedside table so it would be there when Cloud started feeling the dehydration. Zack followed him into the room and placed his hand on the sleeping boy's forehead before he pulled off the blankets and began what looked like the start of a very thorough inspection. Sephiroth pulled him back and covered Cloud up again. A fierce, yet silent, battle of wills took place and it ended with Zack conceding defeat after Sephiroth managed to mime pulling rank on him.

Once they got out into the living room, Zack turned on him. "What the hell's going on, Sephiroth?" Zack's voice was hushed, but angry all the same. "He should have been done the tests hours ago. He was supposed to meet me on the forty-ninth and I was going to take him home. What happened?"

"Cloud has an abnormally high mako tolerance," said Sephiroth, "They needed to run additional tests to determine his limit. I told Hojo that I wanted to observe the tests because Cloud was such a good SOLDIER candidate."

"So you were with him the whole time?"

"Yes, I couldn't do much without letting it be known that we're friends, but I think I was able to make it a bit better for him. I didn't realize that he was supposed to meet you; he was pretty out of it, so I just brought him back here. I apologize."

"No, there's no need to apologize. I was worried, is all. You hear those ridiculous horror stories about people disappearing in the labs and that's all I could think about while I was waiting. So Spike's got a high tolerance?"

"Second Class-level. Hojo was really excited about it, although I'll give him credit for only slipping up and calling Cloud a specimen a couple of times."

" _Second Class!?_ That shit's unheard of!"

"I know, believe me, I was just as shocked as you are. Hojo seems to be thinking that it's got something to do with where he's from."

"Nibelheim? It's just a backwater town with a reactor, what's so special about it?"

"I have no idea, but they got really excited when Cloud told them, so I'm thinking it's significant. I'm planning on looking into it a little more closely when I get the chance."

Zack flopped down on the couch. "Man, I think we could do with a little less excitement in our lives. You can take off now, if you want. You probably don't want to stick around for the puking."

"I don't mind," Sephiroth said.

"You don't mind the mako-induced vomiting?" Zack lifted his head off the couch and gave him an incredulous look. "You really do like him, don't you?"

Sephiroth chuckled, that seemed like a strange way to determine whether or not you liked a person. But maybe there was some truth to it.

***

Hojo banged the door shut on a sample cage, causing the creature in it to cower in fear. He was absolutely livid. Sephiroth was getting more and more rebellious every day and showed no signs of stopping. Telling him that he hadn't yet determined the materia combination as an excuse to get him into the lab had worked for a while, even though it led to far too many disparaging remarks about his capabilities as a scientist. But Sephiroth seemed to be catching on and was asking questions about every little test he wanted to do.

And today! Coming to the lab but refusing to allow any experiments? Preposterous! And he didn't even _want_ to know what he was thinking when he decided to 'observe' the mako tests. Something was influencing his prized specimen and he needed to find out what. He needed someone to watch Sephiroth while he was away from the lab and the Turks were probably the only choice for that job. But ever since that Tseng person had taken over the leadership, the Turks had been increasingly unwilling to do anything behind Sephiroth's back. He needed someone new enough to not know all the little rules, yet skilled enough to not get caught. Hojo skimmed over the Turk's recruitment files... there, Reno, no last name, hired six months ago. That was long enough to have learned the basics of the job but not all the nuances of the politics. There was no information other than the name, recruitment date, and photo, but it was enough.

With that plan decided, Hojo turned his thoughts to the candidate today. _That_ was interesting. He wondered if Jenova might be having a pervasive effect on the population of Nibelheim. He took a blank journal out of his desk drawer and affixed a large label to it.

"Specimen C," it read.


	14. Chapter 14

Cloud banged on the side of the vacuum cleaner and jumped when it roared back to life. He was getting the hang of this: dealing with Zack's inability to buy an appliance that had less than three previous owners. He was just about done cleaning the apartment for the party tonight. Did four people really count as a party? No matter, it was going to be fun either way. He had butterflies in his stomach, but they were excited butterflies. He wished he could tell his squadmates that General Sephiroth was coming to his birthday party, but knew that it wouldn't go over as well as he might hope. Cloud jammed the vacuum back in the closet and slammed it shut before anything fell out.

He popped into the bathroom to check his appearance in the mirror. The bruises were gone and the big cut on his cheek was just a red line now. He attempted to flatten his spikes, but that just looked worse, so he settled for the cute, messy look. It dawned on him that he was preening like a girl before a big date and decided that he looked good enough the way he was. Cloud went back to his room and started rummaging through his closet, looking for something casual, but nice, that he could wear. He was just killing time now and he knew it. After the way Sephiroth had taken care of him earlier in the week during the mako testing, he really had no idea what to think except that maybe Sephiroth liked him. Enough to carry him home and rub his back while he was puking his guts out, at any rate. You had to care about a person at least a _little_ to willingly do something like that. But if Sephiroth _did_ like him, as more than friends, could he handle that? It was one thing to have a crush, but something else entirely to act on it.

Cloud sighed and picked up the picture that had been on the bookcase when he moved in. It was of Zack and Cloud; Zack had him in a headlock and was giving him noogies and Cloud was blushing and yelling. The picture was a bit crooked because Kunsel had been laughing as he took it. When he first saw it there, Cloud had been surprised that Zack had kept it, let alone had it framed, but he understood now. Zack liked to keep things that reminded him of his friends and good times he had. Cloud didn't really have much like that, just a few pictures of him and his mom. He wanted to start building his own collection of mementos; maybe someday there'd be a picture of him and Sephiroth.

He heard the sound of keys fumbling in the door; Zack was back. Cloud set down the picture and went out to the hall as Zack got the door open.

"Hey, Cloud, come take some of these bags for me," Zack said as he hopped around trying to get his boots off.

Cloud grabbed the bags from Zack and spotted Aerith still waiting in the hall for Zack to get out of the way. "Hi, Aerith! Glad you could make it. You can just shove Zack out of the way, you know."

Aerith giggled and gave Zack a push with her free hand causing him to stumble forward. "Like that, you mean?"

"Just like that. He always seems to forget that people can't fit around him if he stops right in the middle of the door."

"You know I can hear you, right, Spike?" Zack got his boots off and stood up, glaring.

"Yep, I know." Cloud took the groceries into the kitchen and started sorting through them.

"I'll do that," Aerith said. She had followed him and placed a big cake on the counter. "My present for you is in there somewhere and I don't want you to see."

"Gotcha, I'll go put on some music." Cloud backed out of the kitchen and started rummaging through the CDs piled around the stereo. What kind of music would Sephiroth like? He looked for something different, but not weird. Listenable, but not annoyingly popular. He paused in the middle of rejecting another album; he was definitely acting like this was a date. "Zack," he called, "Will you pick out the music?"

Zack laughed as he entered the room. "And this is why Aerith and I picked out the movies; you'd still be there struggling to make a decision."

"I would not! What movies did you end up getting?"

"It's a surprise, birthday boy. You're supposed to have surprises on your birthday." Zack grabbed a few CDs at random and tossed them into the player just as the doorbell rang. "Go answer the door, if you want to make yourself useful."

Swallowing his butterflies, Cloud forced himself to walk, not run, to the door. He pulled it open and smiled widely at the man in front of him.

"Hello, Sephiroth," Cloud said, "Come on in."

"Hi, Cloud. Where can I put this?" Sephiroth gestured to a large duffel bag he was carrying.

"Um, I don't think it'll fit in the closet; I can put it in my room if you want it out of the way." Cloud reached for the bag, but Sephiroth didn't hand it over.

"That's okay, Cloud. I'll take it."

"Oh, okay. Um, can I get you something to drink?"

"Sure, some water would be great," Sephiroth said as he tossed his bag through the door of Cloud's room.

Cloud grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it. He heard Sephiroth go into the living room and speak to Zack and Aerith. He couldn't hear what they were talking about, which was a bit weird. Usually you could hear everything people said when they were in the living room. Maybe they had some sort of surprise planned; he wouldn't put that past Zack. Just in case, he got some water for himself as well, to give them a bit more time.

When he poked his head around the corner, the trio was just wrapping up whatever secret conversation they were having. Sephiroth was flushed and Aerith was snickering rather evilly. She reached out and patted his arm in a consoling manner before turning to grin at Cloud.

"Why don't you and Sephiroth sit down while Zack and I get the snacks ready?" she said.

"Are you sure you don't need any help?"

"I've got it covered, Spike." Zack thumped him on the shoulder. "Relax, it's your party." With that, Zack shoved him towards the couch where Sephiroth had taken a seat.

"Um, here you go." Cloud was feeling suddenly nervous as he handed Sephiroth his water.

"Thank you."

Sephiroth was dressed casually in jeans and a tight t-shirt with some unidentifiable symbol splashed across the front. He could almost see the muscles underneath. Cloud realized he was staring and hastily sat down... a little closer than he had meant to. Shit, now what was he supposed to do? If he moved away it would seem like he didn't want to sit next to Sephiroth, and that wasn't true. But sitting this close when there was a whole couch was just weird. A burst of manic laughter suddenly came from the kitchen, startling him.

"Cloud! Cloud! Get in here!" Zack shouted.

Wasting no time, Cloud jumped off the couch and ran to the kitchen. "What is it?"

Zack was doubled over and tears were streaming from his eyes. Aerith looked a bit guilty to be caught, but she was laughing all the same.

"Check it out." Zack held out his PHS.

Cloud took the phone and glanced at the screen. There was a mail message displayed.

 _Subject: The mystery of silver winds._

Oh, it was from the Silver Elite! He still couldn't believe Zack was a member. He scrolled down.

 _Last week, a devoted member of our fan club spotted Sephiroth at the famous restaurant, L'Astrance. While it is well known that Sephiroth often frequents this high-class establishment, he usually does so alone. So when he showed up with a young man accompanying him, our correspondent was intrigued. She observed Sephiroth holding the young man by the arm and leading him to their table. If that's not shocking enough, dear members, Sephiroth at one point slid around the table to sit right next to the young man. He was apparently helping him with the menu because their waiter, who wishes to remain anonymous, reported that Sephiroth ordered for both of them. Pictures are forbidden in L'Astrance, but our cunning member waited outside for the pair to emerge. She managed to snap one photo of Sephiroth and his mystery companion before they were out of sight, and we are pleased to be able to share it with all of you._

Cloud was certain his face was on fire at this point and he wasn't sure if he even wanted to see the picture. This was a complete nightmare! Still, he couldn't resist scrolling down. The picture wasn't bad, actually. He and Sephiroth were walking towards the car and they were laughing about something. Sephiroth had his arm behind Cloud's back, but from the angle of the picture, it was impossible to know for sure that Sephiroth's hand had, at that moment, been resting on Cloud's lower back. There was more writing after the picture:

 _Well, fans, what do you think? Was this a romantic date or friends out for dinner? Any idea who the mystery date might be? While we are curious to know, please remember to respect Sephiroth's privacy. You can visit our forums to share your opinions on the matter._

Cloud looked up from the phone, eyes wide with horror. "How do I delete things?" he asked.

Zack had recovered himself enough to get off the floor and stumbled forwards. "No can do, Spike. Seph hasn't seen it yet."

" _What!? No!_ " Cloud shrieked and clutched the PHS to his chest as Zack made a grab for it. He made to run with it, but Zack tackled him and started trying to wrench his arms away from his body. Cloud kept shrieking at the top of his lungs while trying to get away. This was no fair! Zack was way bigger and stronger; he didn't stand a chance.

"Help!" Cloud shouted for Aerith, hoping she would take pity and get her mad boyfriend off of him. A strong arm suddenly wrapped around his torso and pulled him out of Zack's grasp. That wasn't Aerith.

"Are you okay, Cloud?" Sephiroth was standing him up and checking him over for injuries. Cloud barely even registered the phone being taken away as Sephiroth carefully examined his right hand. "Cloud?"

"No! Sir! The phone!" Cloud snapped back to reality and attempted to grab at it.

Sephiroth smirked and held it out of his reach. "You seem fine. What did I say about calling me 'sir'?"

Completely ignoring Cloud's protests, Sephiroth looked at the screen. An eyebrow raised and he scrolled down. It rose a little higher as he read the article. Cloud didn't know what to do. As that one eyebrow got higher and higher, running was looking like a better and better option. Just then, Sephiroth smiled.

"At least it's a good picture," he said. Cloud was certain his heart had stopped. Did he hear that right?

"Isn't he cute?" Zack popped up behind Sephiroth and pointed at the phone. "Look at 'im smiling at you. It's just too precious."

"Zack, that's hardly appropriate. Cloud, stop looking so scared, I'm not mad at you. The Silver Elite, however, is a different matter. I've been letting them get away with far too much."

"Aww, are you going to rush off to defend Cloud's honour?"

Sephiroth shot Zack a withering look. "I'm going to go make a phone call. Please refrain from teasing Cloud as much as possible while I'm gone."

Zack snickered, "I would never tease him! Except he's even cuter when he's blushing."

Sephiroth went out to the hallway and Zack turned on Cloud with a wicked grin on his face. Before Zack got a chance to start mocking him, however, Cloud spoke. "Not one word, Zack Fair! Not a single word or I'm never cooking for you again."

"I think he means it, Zack. And I'm not going to be your replacement cook, so smarten up," Aerith said. "Though it really was a cute picture, Cloud."

Cloud hid his face in his hands. "Can I go hide in a corner somewhere, please?"

"No way, Cloud. We're going to have a ton of fun tonight, I promise," said Aerith. "Come on, help me put the snacks out on the table."

When Sephiroth came back in, Cloud had managed to get his face back to a reasonable colour and the snacks were all laid out with the cake in the middle.

Sephiroth smiled at him. "It'll be taken care of, don't worry too much."

Cloud nodded. "Okay." Sephiroth looked tired; he was paler than usual and his face was pinched, like he had a headache. Cloud reached out and touched his arm. "Are you okay, Sephiroth?"

"Yes, I'm—" Sephiroth paused and really looked at him. "I'm tired and I've got a bad headache. Hojo was feeling a bit more sadistic than usual today."

"Do you want to leave? I'd understand if you're not feeling well."

"No, I don't want to miss tonight for anything. I'll be fine."

Cloud's heart did an odd little fluttering thing at that. "I hate Hojo," he muttered. "Are you really sure those experiments are necessary? It seems to me like he's just doing whatever he wants to you and doesn't care how much it hurts you."

Sephiroth sighed, "Will you come sit down?"

Cloud nodded. Zack and Aerith seemed to have disappeared somewhere so he went and sat on the couch. This time it was Sephiroth who sat a bit closer than was strictly necessary.

"Does it really seem that way to you?" Sephiroth asked.

"Yeah, I know it's not my place—"

"No, please tell me what you really think. I grew up this way, it's normal to me."

Cloud nodded firmly, if Sephiroth didn't know anything different, of course he wouldn't realize that it wasn't right to be treated like that. "Hojo's creepy, he treated me like I was a sample for an experiment. When he interacted with you, it was like he was surprised you were even capable of talking. He didn't treat you like you were human."

"But I'm not. Not entirely anyways."

Cloud gave him a _look_. "Don't be stupid! Of course you're human! You're enhanced, sure, everyone knows that, but it doesn't mean you're not a person and you don't deserve to be treated like one. You've got feelings, you care about your friends, you get angry and scared and happy like anyone else." Sephiroth was gawking at him like he had just announced that chocobos could fly and Cloud was getting mad. "Hojo hurts you for no reason and that's _wrong_ , Sephiroth. You're a general now; you don't have to do everything some lunatic scientist tells you to. You need to start thinking for yourself and stop going to the lab unless it's medically necessary. For _you_." Cloud sat back and crossed his arms defiantly.

"So am I supposed to start doing everything the lunatic corporals tell me to do?"

"No, sir, there's only one lunatic corporal you should listen to. He knows best."

"I see, I guess I'd better tell Hojo I have new orders."

Cloud's defiant pose collapsed as he panicked. "You're not actually going to tell him that _I_ told you to stop going, are you!?"

Sephiroth laughed. "No, but thank you, Cloud. I've been thinking about this a lot since you first brought it up. I hate being treated like 'Specimen S' and I _will_ put a stop to it. But I want you to promise me that if he ever approaches you about experiments for your mako tolerance, you'll tell me. I don't want you turned into his specimen either."

"I promise. I don't want to be a specimen."

"So are you guys ready for presents and cake, or what?" Zack appeared from around the corner with a couple of lumpy-looking presents.

"I'm ready." Cloud made to get up off the couch but Zack held out a hand to stop him.

"Hang on. Say 'cheese'!" A bright flash left Cloud and Sephiroth blinking in surprise. "Okay, now you can get up. I found Angeal's old camera the other day and thought I'd put it to use."

"Do we want cake or presents first?" Aerith said from next to the table.

"Cake! I want the biggest piece!" Zack snapped a picture of Aerith putting candles in the cake. "It's too bad I couldn't find good party hats. That would've been a year's supply of blackmail material right there."

"I think it's best for your health that you didn't find any," said Sephiroth. "So what's the story with the candles?"

"You don't know that, Seph? Man, talk about a deprived childhood."

"Shut up, Zack," Cloud butted in. "You put one candle on the cake for every year you are old, plus one to grow on. Then we light the candles and there doesn't need to be any singing. The person whose birthday it is makes a wish and blows out the candles. If they get them all in one breath, their wish will come true."

"Does it work?"

"Meh, probably not, but it's a fun thing to do anyways."

Aerith giggled and began lighting the candles. "So we're not singing?"

"No, Sephiroth doesn't know the words and it's stupid anyways," Cloud answered.

"Good, Zack's singing is terrible."

"Hey!"

"Happy birthday, Cloud," she said. "I hope your wish comes true."

"Thanks, me too." With that, Cloud took a deep breath and blew out every candle on the cake. And blinked as a flash went off in his eyes.

"What did you wish for?" Sephiroth asked.

"I can't tell you that or it won't come true." Cloud blushed.

"But I thought the story wasn't true?"

"It might not be, but I don't want to risk it. Just in case it is."

"C'mon, Cloud." Zack elbowed him in the ribs. "You can tell us."

"Not a chance. Thanks, Aerith." Cloud took the first piece of cake that Aerith handed him.

When Aerith had the cake distributed, Zack decided it was time for presents. Cloud sat on the floor and Zack handed him the larger of the two lumpy packages.

"You've got to open the best present first," he said.

Cloud tore the wrapping paper off... a stuffed chocobo. "Zack..."

"What? You've got no _stuff_ , Cloud. Your room looks like you still live in the barracks. Open this one now." Zack handed over the second package.

That present was two simple, empty picture frames. There was another flash in his face and Cloud looked up, smiling.

"I'll get these pictures developed and you can put your favourites in the frames."

"Thanks, Zack," said Cloud. Now he could start his own collection of memories of his friends. "Can we take a picture with all four of us?"

"Sure thing, I'll just have to figure out how the timer works on this thing. Keep opening presents."

Aerith gave him a Restore and an Esuna materia. Both were quite high-level and she explained that she had lots of opportunities to build up the materia living in the slums.

"Sephiroth will teach you how to use them, right?" She smiled at Sephiroth and Cloud swore he saw the hint of a wink.

Sephiroth choked on his drink. "Yes, I'd be happy to. I'll just go get your present, excuse me."

Sephiroth returned carrying the duffel bag he had brought with him and sat down on the floor next to Cloud. "I didn't have any of that fancy paper to wrap it, I hope that's okay," he said as he handed over the bag.

"Of course that's okay, Sephiroth. The paper's just to keep the present a secret; it gets torn off anyways. A bag works just as well." Cloud slowly unzipped the bag and opened it up. He had a feeling he knew what was big enough that it would need a bag this size but didn't want to get his hopes up. He reached in and wrapped his hand around something long and narrow. It was. He couldn't believe it.

Cloud pulled the most beautiful katana he had ever seen out of the bag. It was black with gold beneath the wrapping on the handle. The tsuba was also black, and had a rising phoenix carved into it with gold inlaid flames. There were four linked materia slots and one independent one. He looked up at Sephiroth with an expression of disbelief. His mouth moved, but his voice seemed to have vanished.

"I know you like the buster swords, like Zack's," said Sephiroth, "But a katana is much lighter and you'll be able to use its speed to your advantage. If you don't like it—"

"It's perfect, I love it. Thank you so much, Sephiroth," Cloud said in a rush to try and make him understand how much the gift meant to him.

"You really like it?"

"Yes, it's... it's amazing. I don't know what else to say." Cloud carefully set the sword down and got up on his knees. He shuffled forwards and awkwardly wrapped his arms around Sephiroth's neck. "Thank you."

Sephiroth held still for a moment then wrapped his own arms around Cloud and leaned into the embrace. "You're welcome."

Cloud heard a click and the camera flashed once more. He smiled; that was the picture he wanted to put in the first frame. He reluctantly pulled away from Sephiroth and picked up the sword again. Pulling it out of the scabbard, he revelled in the sound of the blade sliding free. He turned it over carefully, not wanting to mar its pristine surface. There was a signature on the blade, but he couldn't read the characters.

"It's called Murasame and was made by Masahide, a well-known Wutaian swordsmith," Sephiroth said.

"Hey, I think I've got the timer figured out," Zack said, "So everyone take a seat on the couch. You can hold your sword if you want, Cloud, just put it back in the scabbard. I don't want to lose an eye when I'm diving to make it into the picture on time."

Cloud sat between Aerith and Sephiroth on the couch and Zack directed them to squish closer. Sephiroth's arm ended up around him once again and his silver hair was falling over his shoulder like silk. Finally, they were deemed close enough and Zack ran around to take his place. He scooped up the stuffed chocobo and tossed it into Cloud's lap as he went.

"Can't forget about Mini-Cloud!" he said laughingly.

Cloud wiped the protesting look off his face and managed a bright smile when the timer went off.

***

"What movie are we watching?" Cloud asked Zack as he turned on the television.

"I told you, it's a surprise. But if you really want to know, it's a movie about Sephiroth."

"There's a movie about you, Sephiroth?"

"Not that I'm aware of," Sephiroth said.

"Trust me," Zack said, "It's all about you. Now shove over, Cloud. You've got to leave some room for me to sit too."

Cloud inched a little closer to Sephiroth; this couch was way too small for four people. Why didn't they have a chair or two for when more people were over? Sephiroth shifted and his knee bumped into Cloud's. He tried to make himself as small as possible to give Sephiroth more room, but with Zack taking up as much space as he could on the other side, there wasn't much he could do.

The movie finally got through all the warnings and started. With socks. Sock puppets, specifically. Cloud looked over at Sephiroth; his expression in the unsteady light was horrified. When the scene cut back to the sock puppets, Zack nudged him.

"See, it's about Sephiroth."

"Uh... how's that?"

"People think he's a hardhearted black sock, but underneath his dark... um, leathery exterior he just a—"

Sephiroth leaned across Cloud and punched Zack on the arm. Hard. "If you call me a naked pink _anything_ , I'll hurt you," he said. As he leaned back his arm trailed across Cloud's shoulders in a careless fashion. His hand remained resting on his arm. Cloud's heart sped up, that _had_ to be deliberate.

The movie was getting weirder and weirder; Sephiroth kept alternating between snorting derisively and gaping in slack-jawed horror. Cloud couldn't help but giggle at the look of confusion on his face when the characters began insulting books to get them to fly.

"Cloud," Sephiroth wrapped his arm around his shoulders and pulled him in close to whisper confidentially in his ear, "If it's the chicken, we're out of here. Agreed?"

Sephiroth's breath tickled Cloud's ear as he spoke. "Agreed," he managed to whisper back, despite the fact that it felt like his heart had made its way up into his throat. It didn't seem like Sephiroth planned on removing his arm anytime soon. Cloud found himself wondering if he _would_ remove it. There was no way that he'd be able to get away if Sephiroth decided he didn't want to let go. He was running his thumb up and down the skin on his arm and it felt nice, but it was terrifying at the same time. He had pulled him so that Cloud was forced to lean against his chest if he wanted to be at all comfortable.

"Are you okay?" Sephiroth whispered.

Cloud hesitated, this was what he wanted, wasn't it? For Sephiroth to like him back? He was concerned about him and wanted to make sure Cloud was okay with what he was doing. That was a good thing, wasn't it? He wasn't just doing whatever he wanted. And he wasn't doing anything inappropriate; he was just... just what? Touching his arm, that wasn't a big deal to anyone. He nodded. "I'm fine."

"Because I'll stop if you want me to."

 _I'll stop if you want me to_ , Cloud repeated the words in his head. He looked up and saw nothing but sincerity in Sephiroth's eyes. In response, Cloud allowed himself to relax against Sephiroth's chest. It was nice, there was something about listening to the steady rhythm of his heart that made him feel safe. Even the movie didn't seem so weird with Sephiroth gently stroking his arm. He noticed the silver hair falling over his shoulder and couldn't resist touching it. He immediately regretted taking such liberties and looked up, prepared to face Sephiroth's anger at having his hair touched. But Sephiroth was smiling and he reached up and ran his hand through Cloud's spikes, gently scratching his scalp. He smiled back and returned his attention to the movie.

It really was a strange movie; he wondered why Zack and Aerith had chosen it. Sephiroth must be really confused; somehow he couldn't imagine that he had seen a lot of movies. And he was too logical a person to be able to easily accept the randomness of this one. Although it didn't seem like Sephiroth was really paying that much attention to the television, if the fingers brushing against his cheek and the soft breath causing his hair to flutter were any indication. It was beginning to get interesting as the strange creatures named Bob, and one named Malcolm, were carrying the heroine to safety and Cloud had grown quite comfortable sitting this close to his crush when he felt a hand brushing along the top of his thigh.

He immediately tensed and tried to move his leg away but there was no room. He didn't want to make a scene by getting up off the couch, but he didn't want that, not so soon. "No," he choked out. He couldn't; it was too much. They hadn't even spoken to each other yet. Suddenly he was scared; what did Sephiroth want from him, exactly? But the hand pulled away and he heard a quiet, "Sorry," whispered in his ear.

He forced himself to slow his breathing down; it was okay. Sephiroth wasn't going to do anything that Cloud didn't want him to do. He just had to remember that. Hadn't Sephiroth said that he'd stop if he wanted him to? He could say 'no' and Sephiroth would listen; he wasn't the kind of person who would force himself on someone. He glanced over at Zack and Aerith; they were significantly more intimate with each other. Aerith was curled up into Zack's embrace, practically on his lap, and Zack was resting his hand on her hip, occasionally moving it back to caress her butt and thigh. She was planting little kisses along his neckline and rubbing her hand up and down his side. Their presence made Cloud feel a lot more comfortable and he found himself relaxing once more.

For the remainder of the movie, Sephiroth's hands didn't stray again from Cloud's comfort zone and for that, Cloud was grateful. When the credits began rolling, he found that he didn't want to move. Zack stopped the movie and poked Cloud in the side.

"I'm going to take Aerith home, then I've got another movie for us. Are you guys all right hanging out for a bit?"

Cloud sat up, pulling away from Sephiroth's embrace. Zack was smiling at him; he seemed to think that everything would be fine. Cloud gathered up his courage and nodded. "Sure."

"I'll have my PHS with me if you need anything."

He nodded again; he could do this. They needed a bit of time alone together to talk before things went any further. This was a good opportunity.

Aerith stood up and straightened her dress. "Goodnight, Cloud, Sephiroth. I hope you enjoyed your party."

"I did. Thanks for coming over." Cloud stood up to give her a hug.

"You're welcome, I had fun. Good luck!" Aerith whispered that last part and winked as she turned to go.

Cloud flushed and sat back down, a little bit farther away than he had been sitting previously. He and Sephiroth sat in silence as Zack and Aerith got their shoes on. With one final call of "I'll be back in a little while" they were alone in the apartment.

Fiddling with his hands in his lap, Cloud decided to break the silence. "At least it wasn't the chicken," he said.

"Yes, I was very relieved at that," Sephiroth laughed. "It was a strange movie, though."

Cloud nodded but couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Do you want me to go?" Sephiroth asked quietly. "I won't be offended if you're uncomfortable being alone with me right now."

He shook his head firmly. "No, please don't. I—I'm just wondering, um, what you're thinking."

Sephiroth shifted so that he was facing Cloud and took a deep breath. "What I'm thinking... I'm thinking that I like you, and that maybe you like me too. Am I wrong?"

Cloud shook his head.

"I'd like to spend more time with you and get to know you better," Sephiroth continued. "I talked about it some with Zack, and we came to the conclusion that, while I've had relationships, I've never really dated someone. That's what I'd like to try with you. If that's something you'd be interested in."

Cloud sat there, stunned into silence. Sephiroth wanted to date him? Date like go to theme parks and the beach and hold hands and make out in theatres? Like boyfriends? Partners? Lovers?

"You don't have to say 'yes', Cloud. Please don't feel like I'm trying to pressure you. And you can think about it for a while too, if you need to. If you decide you don't want to, I'll keep training with you, same as before. We can still just be friends, if that's what you'd prefer."

Cloud was hearing the words Sephiroth was saying, but he was still hung up on the idea that Sephiroth wanted to date him. He shut his eyes, trying to think. Sephiroth liked him; his actions tonight had made that crystal clear. And Cloud knew he liked Sephiroth as well, he just wasn't sure if he was ready for everything that came with being boyfriends. But maybe... Cloud opened his eyes and looked at Sephiroth sitting in front of him.

"Can... Can we take it slow?" he asked.

Sephiroth nodded. "Of course, I don't think I would want things to move too quickly, either. If you say 'stop', I'll stop, no matter what. Does that work for you?"

"Yes, thank you. Same goes for you, okay?"

"Okay."

Cloud suddenly laughed, breaking the tension that had gathered in the room. "That was a bit awkward, wasn't it? I wonder if it was remotely like that when Zack asked Aerith out?"

"If I recall his ranting correctly, he asked her out on a date and she said, 'A date? What's that?' So maybe it's awkward for everyone, just in different ways."

"Probably." Cloud scooted a little closer to where Sephiroth was sitting.

Sephiroth tucked a stray strand of hair behind Cloud's ear and cupped the back of his head. Cloud noticed him leaning in towards him and then hesitating, so he took the initiative.

With his heart beating madly, Cloud closed the distance between their mouths and shyly touched his lips to Sephiroth's. He bumped his nose and had to tilt his head slightly to the side, but he was kissing him. He closed his eyes as he felt Sephiroth's lips move, returning the kiss. It was gentle and his lips were soft. They opened slightly and lightly pulled at his bottom lip. It felt so nice and Cloud reached up to run his fingers through Sephiroth's long hair. He ended up holding onto a fistful for dear life before realizing that he could indeed breathe while kissing someone. He felt Sephiroth smile before pulling away.

"Did you know that you're the first person who ever dared hold my hair like that?" Sephiroth asked. Cloud immediately tried to let go, but Sephiroth seemed to anticipate that that would be his reaction and reached back to hold his hand in place. "Don't stop," he said, "I like it."


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow! Check it out, _two_ pieces of fanart were done for me for the last chapter. First up, [Sephiroth and Cloud on the couch](http://xpaperplanex.livejournal.com/5254.html) by Makokitten. And then, [Chibi Cloud](http://pics.livejournal.com/towo/pic/00001kp8/) by Towo. Thank you so much, you guys are _amazing!_

By the time Zack arrived back home, Cloud had determined that he very much enjoyed kissing. And that kissing Sephiroth was everything that he had ever hoped it would be. He had ended up sitting with his legs across Sephiroth's lap and was resting comfortably, leaning against his shoulder with an arm wrapped around his back. Sephiroth had been true to his word and taken things slowly. They hadn't done anything more than kiss, and even then, he had barely used his tongue. It wasn't at all like some of the guys in the barracks had talked about kissing, and he was glad for that; he didn't think he could handle a tongue shoved down his throat just yet.

Zack came into the living room carrying a six-pack of beer and handed them each one. "So, you two get things sorted out?"

Cloud looked down at himself, then at Sephiroth before turning to Zack. "Duh."

Sephiroth laughed, whether at his reply or at the look on Zack's face, Cloud didn't know. "Yes, Zack. We got it sorted out."

"Good to hear. Cloud, you're a smartass. Better get used to that, by the way, Seph. Now what movie do you want to watch? We have action or horror."

"Action," said Sephiroth, "I've already got my arms full. I don't need to try and scare you into them too."

"Oh, you're hilarious. You guys are damn lucky to have a friend like me, and yet all you do is give me abuse. Next time, I'll just let you wallow in your misery."

"Yeah, yeah. Sit down, you know we love you." Cloud thumped on the couch with his foot.

The movie was exciting and full of all the necessary explosions and improbable physics. It had been a long day, however, and Cloud was yawning by the time it finished. Zack made himself busy in the kitchen while Cloud and Sephiroth said their goodnights.

"Do you want to do some training tomorrow?" Sephiroth asked. "I can show you how to use the materia Aerith gave you and we can begin sword training."

Cloud nodded sleepily. "That'd be good. How about we go out for dinner afterwards?"

"Sure, but you have to pick the restaurant this time."

"All right, but don't expect anything too fancy."

"So I shouldn't expect to see you in your tie again? But it was so cute."

"Don't tease! My mom picked that tie out; I had no say."

"Hmm, but it's such fun to tease you." Sephiroth bent his head down and planted a kiss on his forehead. "I should go, if Zack spends much more time in the kitchen, you're going to have a disaster on your hands."

Sephiroth picked Cloud up, stood up, and planted him on his feet in one smooth motion that made Cloud feel a bit indignant. He wasn't a doll! Still, the caring way Sephiroth pulled it off gave him a warm, fuzzy feeling and he couldn't find the heart to protest.

***

Reno was dying of boredom. He wondered if all the rookies got assigned such boring jobs or if he was special somehow. _Find out what's distracting Sephiroth and report back to me._ That was the entirety of the assignment given to him by the creepy scientist. The first few days had been relatively uneventful; Sephiroth had gone a few short missions and spent some time training. Tonight, Reno had followed him to an apartment in the SOLDIER residences. Since the residences only had one camera per floor, he planted a camera of his own across from the entrance. He then retreated to his office and spent the night watching absolutely nothing happen. He killed time by looking up who lived there: Lieutenant Zack Fair, a First Class. He remembered the man vaguely from a mission a little while ago that he had flown for.

At one point, Fair had left the apartment with a girl; she must have been there before Sephiroth arrived. Fair was gone for a good hour and a half before he came back. Another couple hours passed before the door opened once more. This time, Sephiroth was there. He had his back to the hallway and was blocking the view, although Reno could see another pair of legs behind him. Sephiroth leaned down and appeared to be kissing the person the legs belonged to. This was confirmed when a pair of hands wrapped around Sephiroth's neck and twisted into his hair. While Reno couldn't see who Sephiroth was kissing, he guessed it probably wasn't Fair, considering the height difference. Maybe there had been another girl in the apartment. It seemed weird to leave a friend alone in your apartment with some chick though. He supposed it was possible that someone else was living there and the records just hadn't been updated.

***

Reno found himself in much the same position in the morning, staring at a video of a closed door with a coffee mug in hand. He really hoped that being a Turk wasn't always this mind-numbing. Reno spun around in his chair, thinking. The answer to Hojo's question was most likely this girl or boyfriend. Could the rumours about Sephiroth's sexual orientation be believed? He supposed that part didn't really matter, but he probably needed something more than, 'he's got a lover or fuckbuddy or something'. A name or a face at the very least. If he could figure that much out, he could probably be done with this bullshit assignment.

Hojo had muttered the entire time he had been talking to Reno, something about Sephiroth disrupting the testing. He looked back at the lab's schedule; they had been doing mako testing the day before he was given the assignment, maybe that was the testing Hojo was talking about. Figuring it was at least something to do, he pulled up the security footage from that day. Just before the start of the testing, he observed Sephiroth get off the elevator on the sixty-eighth floor, but it wasn't until long after the testing was supposed to have ended that he reappeared. This time, he was supporting a trooper who appeared to have mild mako poisoning. He got a good still-frame that showed the kid's face and ran it through the Shin-Ra employee database. Ten minutes later, a name popped up: Cloud Strife. That was a start, at least. Sephiroth wasn't known for helping out random troopers so maybe there was something about that one. Reno decided he had better make sure before reporting back and resigned himself to waiting until Sephiroth made an appearance.

That didn't happen until around two o'clock, much to Reno's dismay. He swore his ass had a cramp from all that sitting. Sephiroth left the apartment wearing workout clothes and carrying Masamune. Reno made his way down to the SOLDIER floor; there were no cameras anywhere near the training rooms, so he had to go back to the hard way of doing things when Sephiroth trained. Just as he was leaving, he noticed movement on the monitor that was showing the view outside Fair's apartment. The Strife kid was leaving, and he was also dressed in workout clothes and carrying a duffel bag that looked large enough to hold a sword. Reno smiled; maybe this was his chance.

The training rooms had observation areas located above them but there were two problems with them. The first was that Reno didn't have permission to be there and the second, more important, problem was that the windows could be blacked out if the person using the room didn't want to be observed and had the authority to do so. Sephiroth _always_ blacked them out, so Reno had to get creative with his spying. He had discovered a maintenance access route next to the air vents and was able to get to a relatively hidden place up in the rafters from it. He had to be careful to be absolutely silent while he was up there, but it worked well enough. He set up a camera, made himself comfortable, and waited.

"So do you want to start with the materia?" Sephiroth was saying as he opened the door. A smaller person followed him in and Reno recognized him as Strife.

"Sure," Strife said. "I wasn't sure if I should equip them in the sword or the armlet. Does it make a difference?" Strife sat on the floor and pulled a katana, a couple pieces of green materia, and an armlet out of his bag. How did a corporal get equipment like that? Reno's question was answered when Sephiroth sat next to him and started fastening the armour. He was stroking Strife's arm and the kid leaned in and planted a couple of quick kisses on Sephiroth's lips. Apparently corporals earned equipment on their backs.

Sephiroth leaned back and smiled. "We're here to train, Cloud."

"You started it."

Sephiroth cleared his throat and moved a little bit farther away from Strife. Reno wondered if he was actually trying to pass it off as legitimate training. "To answer your question," Sephiroth said, "No, it doesn't really matter. But there are a few things to consider when choosing where to equip your materia..."

Reno tuned out the conversation; he had what he needed, but he couldn't leave without being heard. Maybe he'd get lucky and the training session would turn hot and heavy and he'd at least get some free porn out of the deal. He wondered how much a sex tape of Sephiroth would sell for... probably not enough to save his life. Still, it would be nice for his personal collection.

The 'training' lasted over three hours and it was _all_ training. Nothing on that video would be remotely fap-worthy. Reno didn't think he had ever been so disappointed in his life. Grumbling to himself, he packed up his gear and headed out.

***

Cloud's choice in restaurants was, on the surface, at any rate, better than Zack's. The place he had chosen was in one of the poorer areas, but still on the plate. Cloud didn't know how to get there by car, so they had taken the train and then walked the remainder of the distance. There was a cheerful tinkling of bells as they walked in and a kind-looking young woman greeted them.

"Cloud! How are you?" she asked. "It's been forever since you've been here."

"Hey, I'm doing pretty good. Got busy for a while, is all. How's your mom?"

Sephiroth hung back while Cloud caught up with the girl. He wondered how often you had to go to a place before they knew you by name. The girl eventually showed them to a booth and took their drink orders. She gave Sephiroth a curious look before turning away.

"You must come here pretty often," Sephiroth mused.

"Yeah, I spent pretty much all my free time here before I met Zack," Cloud said. "I didn't need to come as often after that, but I still love the food."

"You _needed_ to come? Why?"

"I just liked it here. The food's good and pretty cheap. Plus the owner would let me stay as long as I wanted even if I only ordered a coffee."

"Why would you want to stay here for that long?" Sephiroth could tell that Cloud was intentionally being evasive. It seemed like the bullying had been going on for a long time.

"You know, it was just nice to get away from the barracks every once in a while."

"Cloud, please, what were you getting away from? Was it the other men in your squad?"

Cloud laughed bitterly. "I can't wait to go in tomorrow; I know you said it was taken care of, but that picture's still out there. There are a _lot_ of Silver Elite members in the regular army, some of them are bound to recognize me."

"Yes, I'm sorry. Tseng told me he'd do what he could to stop the distribution, but that once it's out there, it out there. He did get the forums shut down and was going to pay a visit to the leaders. If you have trouble... will you tell me?"

"A visit? That doesn't sound good. But I wanted to ask; are we a secret?"

"Only if you want us to be. It's technically against regs, but Shin-Ra's never been too uptight about that as long as it doesn't interfere with our duties. And I can get away with a lot more than anyone else. I'd rather Hojo didn't find out, but he doesn't pay attention to much that isn't under a microscope, so don't worry about that. You didn't answer my questions, though. Either of them."

Cloud sighed. "Damn, I was hoping that would distract you. Don't worry about it, I'm not as strong as you are, but I'm not weak."

"I know that, Cloud. I just don't want to see you get hurt because of me."

"I'll tell you if it gets to be too much, okay?"

"Okay." Sephiroth was doubtful, but it didn't seem like Cloud was willing to accept any help at this point. He'd just have to keep training with him so he'd be able to defend himself if need be.

Sephiroth didn't like the location of their table and it was making him nervous. Years of expecting enemy attacks at any time had left him a little wary of sitting with his back to a room. It didn't help that he was wearing his hoodie again to hide his hair. That blocked off a good chunk of his peripheral vision and left him feeling vulnerable. This was stupid! He should be able to go out for a meal without being hounded by fans. He angrily shoved the hood back and saw Cloud's eyes go wide with horror before a shriek pierced his ears.

Slowly turning around, he laid eyes on the culprit. A table was full of women in their late-teens and early twenties and they all had their phones out. "It _is_ him!" one of the women shouted. "Sephiroth! Can I have your autograph?" She ran over to their table and held out a pen and a publicity photo.

That cued the other women to start shrieking and rummaging through their bags while calling their friends with the news. Sephiroth tried to explain that he was just out with his friend and didn't want to do autographs, but they latched onto Cloud and began questioning him about who he was and what his relationship to _their_ general was. Cloud looked paralyzed and didn't appear to have any idea what to tell them. He was shy and didn't want everyone knowing his business; Sephiroth knew that.

"Come on, let's get out of here." Sephiroth stood up and pushed his way through the women pawing at him. He grabbed Cloud's hand and hauled him out of his seat, and then proceeded to pull him towards the door. He saw their waitress looking absolutely appalled and she waved goodbye at them. Cloud glanced over his shoulder and waved back. "Feel like running?" asked Sephiroth as they burst through the door.

"I could go for a bit of a sprint, sure."

Hand in hand, they ran through the streets, quickly losing their pursuers. Sephiroth made sure to pull his hood back up as soon as they were in the clear.

"Well, that was exciting," Cloud laughed. "I've never been chased by a horde of women before."

"Huh, I'm surprised. I thought that you'd be used to girls chasing you. Sorry about that, I wasn't thinking."

"No, it's not your fault. You shouldn't have to hide every time you want to go somewhere. What do you want to do now? We could try another restaurant."

"Do you want to come back to my apartment? I could make us something to eat and then we wouldn't have to worry about disguises." It occurred to him as he spoke that Cloud might be uncomfortable with the idea of going to his place. "Or we can go somewhere else, it's up to you."

"Your place would be fine."

***

"Do you need any help?" Cloud asked as he hovered at the entrance to the kitchen, looking very much out of place.

"Can you cut up the vegetables for me? There's a cutting board and knives over there."

Sephiroth didn't cook a lot, but he was fairly decent when he did. He managed to throw together a stir-fry that turned out to be pretty good and Cloud seemed to enjoy it.

"Thanks for dinner," Cloud said as they settled down on the couch.

"You're welcome." Sephiroth turned so that he could pull Cloud in to lean against his chest. "I enjoyed cooking for you. Do you want to watch TV or something?"

Cloud snuggled into his chest. "Not really. Can we just talk?"

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Um, I don't know... What's your favourite thing to do on the weekends?"

That caught Sephiroth a bit by surprise; he had been expecting something more serious. It was still a difficult question and he struggled to come up with a good answer. "I like hanging out with you," he said eventually.

Cloud pushed off his chest and turned so that he was facing Sephiroth. "That's not helpful at all," he said. "I already know you like me, I want to know what _else_ you like."

"I like kissing you." Sephiroth leaned forwards and captured Cloud's mouth with his own.

"Sephiroth!" Cloud's protest was a bit muffled.

"Okay, okay. Let's see, I usually read or train on the weekends. Sometimes Zack will drag me out to a bar or club."

"Do you like dancing?" Cloud rearranged himself so that he was lying with his chin propped on Sephiroth's chest and was looking at his eyes.

"I would if it was with you," Sephiroth ran his hand through Cloud's hair and held it there. He looked so adorable smiling at him like that.

Cloud laughed his light, tinkling laugh that made him seem even younger. "You're sweet. Don't you have to worry about being mobbed when you go to clubs?"

"It depends where we go, but I can usually get away with just tying my hair up. Clubs are dark enough that no one really notices. And if they do, they usually assume I'm just some guy dressing up to get noticed."

"So we could go dancing sometime?"

"Sure, it might not hurt to wait a little while until this thing with the Silver Elite blows over, but I'd love to dance with you."

Cloud pulled himself upwards so he could reach Sephiroth to kiss him again. "Good," he said between kisses, "I like dancing. And I like kissing you too, by the way."

Eventually, Cloud pulled back looking quizzical. "Do lots of people dress up like you? Not that I don't see the appeal, it just seems weird that people would actually do it."

"It is pretty weird, I think. I see them every once in a while and it always makes me laugh. I can't imagine anyone _wanting_ to be me."

"I suppose if all they know about you is what they read in magazines, it could seem like a good life. You do have a very nice apartment, surely that makes up for all the horrible experiments you were put through. Not to mention the war and dealing with terrorists and monsters."

"Ah, yes, I forgot about how the fancy apartment fixes everything. How foolish of me."

Sephiroth pulled Cloud back down and resumed their make out session. He was feeling bolder and allowed himself to press his tongue between Cloud's lips. When Cloud opened his mouth, he swiftly darted in, gently touching his tongue to Cloud's. When Cloud didn't pull away, he deepened the kiss and pulled him in closer, stroking his sides. Cloud reciprocated the touches. He tentatively ran his hands up Sephiroth's chest, brushing across his nipples as he did so. One of Cloud's legs was resting between his own and the pressure and occasional movement was getting difficult to ignore. Cloud's hands were working their way through his hair again, tugging in the way Sephiroth found to be such a turn-on. Sephiroth's own hands began tracing down his back towards his ass, fully prepared to pull his weight down, grinding it into his growing erection.

"Stop!" Sephiroth's command was directed more at himself than at Cloud, but Cloud immediately pulled back.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he took one of Sephiroth's shaking hands into his own.

"Yes, I'm sorry, I just—"

"It's okay, you don't have to explain."

Sephiroth shut his eyes and took several calming breaths. Cloud's gentle petting of his hand was soothing and he felt his heartbeat begin to slow back down. "Thank you," he said, opening his eyes.

Cloud just smiled and nodded. A few minutes passed in silence before Cloud spoke. "Do you want to watch some TV now?"

"Sure." Sephiroth nodded gratefully. "Whatever you want to watch."

Cloud grabbed the remote off the coffee table, turned it on, and began flicking through channels. He sat back down a little ways away from Sephiroth, giving him the space he needed to cool off. They watched about half an hour of an old comedy before Sephiroth felt comfortable making contact again. He put his arm around Cloud's shoulders and pulled him close.

"Feeling better?" Cloud asked, resting his head on Sephiroth's arm.

"Mmm hmm," was his reply. "I really am sorry about that."

"Don't be. Didn't we agree that if either one of us needed to stop, we would? That included you, you know." Cloud poked him in the chest to emphasize his point.

"Yeah, you're right." Sephiroth hugged Cloud tightly, not wanting to let go of the boy who could make him feel so right. He appreciated Cloud's understanding nature, for not getting upset or feeling rejected. It made him feel safe in a way he never had before. He buried his nose in Cloud's hair, inhaling the scent of his shampoo before pressing his lips to the top of his head.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got more fanart! Towo has been hard at work. She drew a comic version of Princess Sephiroth, which is linked to at the bottom of that, she coloured [Chibi Cloud](http://towo.livejournal.com/5246.html), and she drew a _beautiful_ picture of Cloud and Sephiroth: [\+ chat +](http://towo.livejournal.com/4873.html). Thanks so much, Towo! You're incredibly talented! <333333

Cloud watched the last streams of water swirl down the drain as he shut off the shower. Guard duty was always a bitch, but today had been worse than usual. He had been right in thinking that he would be recognized from the picture. The jeers that greeted him as he found his place in the formation this morning had been nasty, and the entire day had been more of the same. Boots would stick out suddenly to trip him as he walked, and there were countless snide comments he was meant to overhear. Every time he passed his so-called comrades, he had heard the speculation about what he must have done to earn the General's favour. He had barely made it home before he broke down. Why couldn't they just leave him alone? It wasn't like he wanted to be friends or get invited to hang out with them. He had learned that lesson from all those years he spent wanting to belong to Tifa's little group. He knew he wasn't the type of person who would ever be popular, but was it too much to ask that he be allowed some peace?

Steam wafted out as he pulled back the shower curtain with a heavy sigh. "You're an idiot," he told his blurry reflection. "I don't know why Sephiroth even likes you." But he _does_ , a tiny part of his mind spoke up. Sephiroth liked him and it didn't matter why. Zack and Aerith liked him too and that was enough; he didn't need anyone else. With that thought firmly in his mind, Cloud finished getting dressed and left the bathroom. He grabbed some ingredients out of the fridge and began preparing dinner for him and Zack. He was determined not to let him or Sephiroth know that anything was wrong.

Zack came in just as he was finishing up dinner; Cloud swore the guy had some sort of radar for timing things in order to avoid helping.

"Hey, Spiky! That smells good!"

"Thanks, Zack. How was your day?"

"It was good, I got to hear all about how you were chased through the streets by rabid fangirls and barely escaped with your life."

"Somehow, I doubt that's the way Sephiroth told it. Can you set the table?"

"Sure thing." Zack grabbed some silverware and glasses and plunked them down on the table. "So things are going okay?"

"Yeah, Sephiroth's been really great. I had a lot of fun last night even though we didn't end up doing what we had planned. He's funny, though," Cloud laughed as he brought their plates in from the kitchen, "I don't think he quite got why I was asking him about the sort of things he likes to do."

"What makes you think that? This is delicious, by the way," Zack said with his mouth full.

"Thanks. He just told me that he reads and trains on weekends. And sometimes you drag him to clubs."

"Oh, I see. He didn't understand that you were trying to figure out what his interests were."

"Exactly." Cloud nodded. "I eventually got him to admit that he likes dancing. Although... he only said that he'd like dancing if it was with me."

"Really? He said he'd dance? I've _never_ managed to get him onto the dance floor. And before you go thinking you've coerced him into doing something he doesn't want to do, Seph doesn't lie when it comes to things he doesn't like. He'll do it, but you'll know he's not happy about it. So if he says he wants to dance with you, that's what he wants to do. Got it?"

"I've got it. I wasn't going to think that," Cloud grumbled.

"Uh huh... So what about today? How the army life?"

"It's okay." Cloud hurriedly shovelled some more food in his mouth so he couldn't talk.

"No fallout from the scandal?"

Cloud just shook his head. He didn't want to ruin the mood by talking about the idiots in his squad and he _didn't_ need help.

***

The sun glinted off the tarmac at the Junon base as Sephiroth waited for his transport to finish loading. The inspection had taken far too long and he missed Cloud. They had only had a few more chances to see each other before he had left for Junon. Their progress was slow, but that wasn't unexpected. Cloud was still skittish about any touching below the waist and Sephiroth wasn't much better. His mind kept going back to the images he had come up with during the rape. Sometimes Cloud would look almost exactly as Sephiroth had imagined he would if he was willing and it would bring things to a screeching halt. He wasn't sure if that was normal or not after what they had been through; but he supposed they would both get over it eventually.

"General Sephiroth, we're ready for you to board now, sir." The soldier saluted before taking his bag and leading him towards the helicopter.

"Thank you, Private." Sephiroth shook his head to clear the stray thoughts.

When he arrived back in Midgar, he decided to skip the formality of checking in at his office and went straight to see Cloud. His squad would have just finished up their training for the day, so he waited for him by the locker rooms. He hadn't been waiting for long when the door opened and wet-haired troopers began trailing out. Sephiroth ignored the stares and waited patiently for Cloud.

A few minutes later, Cloud pushed the door open, looking exhausted. His face lit up in a smile as soon as he saw who was waiting for him.

"Sephiroth!" he exclaimed. "You're back!" Cloud ran over and embraced him in a tight hug.

Since Cloud didn't appear to care about their audience, Sephiroth hugged back and bent down to give him a chaste kiss. "I missed you," he said. "Are you busy now?"

"Nope, I'm free for the rest of the day."

"Good." Sephiroth picked up his bag and took Cloud by the hand.

***

Sephiroth fumbled for his keycard as he pressed Cloud's smaller body against the door of his apartment. They hadn't spoken at all since they got into the elevator; Sephiroth had determined that kissing was an incredibly effective way of distracting Cloud from his fears. He got the door open and pushed Cloud through it, slamming it shut behind them and dropping his bag at the entrance.

"I missed you," he said again as he carried Cloud towards the couch so he wouldn't have to bend down to keep kissing him.

"I missed you too," was Cloud's breathless reply.

One hand clutched at the crossed straps of his armour and the other twisted through his hair. He could feel Cloud's heart beating rapidly against his chest and the stiffness pressed against his abdomen. His own pants were starting to feel far too constricting; that was the problem with leather. He lowered Cloud down onto the couch and settled himself between his legs.

"How do you get this off?" Cloud was fumbling with the buckles on his duster. Sephiroth quickly undid them and dropped the heavy coat on the floor. Cloud's hands played over his bare chest and he lifted his head up to kiss and lick at his skin. Sephiroth snaked his hands around Cloud's back to support him and found the hem of his shirt. His fingers traced along the edge of it in warning before sliding under and up. The smooth skin he found was tempting and he pushed the shirt up, disrupting Cloud's teasing of his nipples as he pulled it over his head.

He let Cloud drop back down and lowered his head to suck gently at the sensitive skin of his neck. He dragged his tongue from just below his ear down to the base of his throat and delighted in the pleasured gasp he heard. Sephiroth kissed his way down to one of Cloud's nipples and licked a circle around it before flicking at the erect nub. He took it into his mouth and sucked. Cloud's moans were driving him crazy and, without thinking, he pushed his hand down under the waistband of Cloud's pants.

"Ngh!" Cloud's hips bucked as Sephiroth grasped his erection. "No!" Cloud managed to form a coherent word and Sephiroth froze as his mind caught up with what he had done.

"Shit, Cloud, I'm sorry." Sephiroth pulled his hand back and made to push himself away. But the trembling hands that clutched his shoulders stopped him.

"It's okay." Cloud's whole body was shaking, but he held Sephiroth close. "Just... give me a minute."

"We can stop, if you want."

Cloud shook his head. "No, you—you just startled me. I'm okay."

Sephiroth hesitated; Cloud was clinging to him as if he was terrified. He didn't want to be the cause of that and he couldn't tell if Cloud really meant what he was saying. "I think we should stop."

He grasped Cloud around the waist and pulled him up, then lay back on the couch so his head was at the other end and Cloud was lying on top of him. He rubbed small circles in Cloud's lower back and stroked his hair until the trembling finally died down.

***

Cloud straightened up from replacing his things in his locker just in time to realize that someone was approaching fast, but not soon enough to react. A hand grabbed him by the hair and slammed his head into the locker. Spots swam in front of his eyes and he tried to gather his wits, when he was spun around and shoved back into the door of the locker. Pain seared between his shoulder blades as the cold metal gouged into his back.

"Who the _fuck_ do you think you are?" the man in front of him snarled. It was Davies, from his squad, and three other guys surrounded him. "You think we're going to put up with you earning favours from the general by whoring yourself out?"

"I'm _not_ his whore," Cloud spat out. It felt like his heart was trying to escape his chest. With the way his vision was blurring from the blow to his head, Davies's face looked just like that of the scarred man who had tortured him. He blinked furiously, trying to clear his eyes. It wasn't him, it wasn't. He _knew_ that.

Davies grabbed him by the throat, causing him to choke and slammed his head back again. "Why don't you call for your general, whore? Don't you scream his name while he's fucking you up the ass? You must be pretty good to be able to keep the attention of both Sephiroth _and_ Fair. Tell you what, my girl's not putting out, so why don't you show me your skills and I won't beat you into a bloody pulp. Get on your knees, whore."

With that Davies let go of his throat and stepped back, undoing the zip on his pants. Two of the others stepped forward and made to grab his arms.

Cloud panicked. He had to get away. He kicked as hard as he could, aiming for Davies's crotch and then threw himself at the trooper on his left. His fist connected with his jaw and he heard a crunch and the guy's head snapped back. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the fourth trooper run for the door. He let him go and just focused on defending himself.

***

"Zack, can I talk to you?" Sephiroth poked his head into his friend's office.

Zack stared for a few moments until he seemed to realize that his mouth was hanging open in shock. "You're asking if you can talk to me?"

"Yes."

"You have a problem and you're willingly seeking help with it?"

"Yes, Zack. I realize it's unexpected. Can I come in?"

"Course, make yourself at home." Zack moved a pile of papers off one of the chairs and gestured for him to sit down. "So what's the problem?"

"It's not so much a problem," Sephiroth explained, "I'm just wondering if you can tell me if it's normal."

"Um, why don't you start at the beginning? This has to do with Cloud?"

"Yes, sorry, it's about our... physical relationship."

"What about it?"

"Well, it's just, in my past relationships, sex has been the only focus. But Cloud and I haven't had sex yet. Is that normal? Or is there something wrong? I knew that things would be slower because of what happened, but is it too slow?"

"Welcome to your first _real_ relationship, Seph." Zack clapped him on the shoulder. "I'm so proud of you. First things first, there's nothing to be worried about. Most new couples wait for a while before they have sex; they want to take the time to get to know each other before jumping into bed together."

"So what's an appropriate amount of time?"

"There's no set number, it differs for everyone. And you've also got to realize that Cloud _is_ young and really shy; he would have wanted to take things slowly for those reasons alone, even if you guys hadn't been captured. And that makes it a lot more complicated for you two, Cloud's told me that he gets scared and has to stop fairly often."

"Yes, I've also been unable to keep going at times. I keep remembering what happened and it throws me off."

"That's okay, it's to be expected. You've just got to remember to respect that 'no' means 'no' and not to push if he says to stop. He says you've been really great about that, actually. It's good; it helps him trust you."

"Really? He said that?" Sephiroth smiled.

"Yep, he did. Hey, a thought, do you guys talk much when you're getting physical?"

"Where did that come from?"

"Answer the question, Seph."

"No, not really. Is that something that people do?"

Zack shrugged. "That varies from person to person. I was just thinking it might help if you wanted to try talking while you're going at it. Even if it's just little things like asking if this is okay, or saying you like that. Then it's easier to tell if you're both on the same page instead of one of you suddenly screaming 'stop'. You know?"

"Yeah, I think I know what you mean. I'll try that. Thanks, Zack."

"No problem, whadd'ya say we go spar for a bit? You can work off some pent up energy and I can get a break from paperwork as my reward for being the best friend ever."

Sephiroth laughed, "Sure, you deserve a reward for that."

As they were heading down the hall to the VR room, Zack's PHS began blaring obnoxiously.

"Zack Fair here. Oh, hi! What's going on? What!? Why? What happened? Okay, yeah, he is. We'll be right there." Zack snapped the phone shut and turned to Sephiroth. "Spike's in the infirmary, there was a fight in the locker rooms."

Sephiroth felt his insides go cold; Cloud was hurt again. He shouldn't have ignored the bullying. He should have done something, _anything_ about it. Now Cloud had been hurt because of him.

"Seph, let's go." Zack grabbed him by the arm, urging him towards the elevators. "That was his captain who called, he said Cloud was asking for you."

Sephiroth followed numbly with images of Cloud lying broken and bleeding flashing through his mind.

***

The doors flew open with a bang that caused the people in the infirmary to jump. Sephiroth didn't care; he just scanned the room, looking for Cloud. He spotted him in the far corner, sitting up in his bed with his arms wrapped around his knees. He practically flew over to the bed, knocking aside the doctor that was standing nearby.

"Cloud, are you okay?" At the sound of his voice, Cloud looked up and Sephiroth saw relief wash over his face. He let go of his knees and wrapped his arms tightly around Sephiroth's waist.

"You came."

"Of course I came." Sephiroth gingerly held Cloud close, noting the bandage wrapped around his head and the large one on his back. His right hand was in a splint again and Sephiroth felt himself shaking with suppressed rage. He was going to _kill_ whoever did this. "What happened?"

Cloud just shook his head, so, without letting go, he turned to the doctor he had shoved aside. "What's his status?"

If the doctor was confused at all about why a general was showing such concern over a mere trooper, he didn't show it. "Strife has a minor concussion caused by two blows to the head, a sprained wrist, a large cut on his back from a locker door, a bruised throat, and several other minor cuts and bruises." The doctor paused and smiled. "His attackers are in worse shape; he did a fine job defending himself against three people."

"Three?"

"Wasn't going to let them touch me again," Cloud said quietly. "Never again." Cloud was shaking violently and his left hand was gripping Sephiroth's coat tightly.

"Shh, it's okay," Sephiroth whispered as he stroked Cloud's hair, avoiding the bloodstained bandages. "You fought off three people?"

"Yeah. They tri—tried to..." Cloud's voice trailed off, but Sephiroth understood.

"I'm so proud of you, you've gotten so strong. We'll get you fixed up, okay?" Sephiroth turned back to the doctor. "Can I heal him?"

"Oh, yes, of course," the doctor said, "You won't be able to heal the concussion, but everything else should be fine. Do you want me to do it?"

"No, I will." Sephiroth felt oddly possessive on that matter. He wanted to be the one to take care of Cloud.

Zack was speaking to the captain near the door and the two of them came over just as Sephiroth was wiping the blood off of Cloud's back to make sure the cut had healed properly.

"Sephiroth," Zack said, "This is Captain Tauber, he's in charge of Cloud's unit."

"Nice to meet you in person, sir." Tauber held out his hand, but Sephiroth ignored it in favour of not letting go of Cloud.

"Who did this?" he asked.

"We have a report from the man who came to me for help, stating that Corporal Davies was the driving force behind the attack. All three people involved will be disciplined, of course."

"I want them out of Shin-Ra."

"I understand that you're upset, sir, but it's a first time off—"

"I want them _out_ of Shin-Ra," Sephiroth snarled, "Or I'll remove them myself. Do I make myself clear, Captain?"

"Seph, calm down," Zack broke in. "I'll take care of it. They're not going anywhere for a while, so why don't we just see if we can take Spike home for now?"

Sephiroth felt Cloud's head nod against his chest and looked down. At the sight of Cloud leaning against him with exhaustion painted over his face, he felt himself calming. Zack was right; everything else could be dealt with later.

"Doctor, can Cloud go home?"

"Yes, but someone will need to stay with him for the next twenty-four hours."

"I can do that," Sephiroth said quickly.

The doctor nodded. "All right, he'll need plenty of rest, but you'll have to wake him up every one or two hours to check for symptoms. I'll give you a list of things to watch for, but the most important things to check for are confusion or unusual drowsiness and a persistent running nose or fluid coming from his ears."

Sephiroth paid close attention as the doctor went through the instructions; he had never done anything like this before. When everything had been laid out, he helped Cloud off the bed and started towards the door. Zack went around to his other side and held Cloud's arm. As they were walking past a curtained off bed, Sephiroth just barely heard someone mutter.

"Fucking whore," the voice said.

Sephiroth stiffened and pure rage surged through his veins. He pushed Cloud into Zack's arms and took two steps over to the curtain. He tore it down and saw a beat-up man lying in the bed with an expression of absolute horror on his face. Sephiroth snarled and pounced; he caught the man by the throat and lifted him out of the bed, yanking out various tubes as he did so.

"What did you say?" The man couldn't speak even if he had wanted to reply, but Sephiroth was beyond caring. This was one of the people who hurt Cloud; he'd tear him to pieces. He shook him like a ragdoll, knocking over tables and equipment as he did so.

"Sephiroth. _SEPHIROTH!_ " Cloud's voice broke through his fury and he turned, still holding the man by the neck, to see Cloud walking on shaky legs towards him. He let go immediately and caught Cloud. "Calm down, Sephiroth. Please. It's over, let's just go."

"I'm sorry," Sephiroth said. He looked around and saw Captain Tauber looking horrified. Zack was easing his sword back onto his back, and the doctor was tending to the gasping man on the floor. He hadn't lost control like that in a long time and it scared him. What if he had hurt Cloud? "I'm sorry, Cloud. Maybe you should go with Zack."

"No, I want you." Cloud's voice was determined. "Please, can we go home? I'm tired."

"All right. All right, let's go." Sephiroth couldn't refuse when Cloud stated it so bluntly.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moar fanarts! [\+ bruise +](http://pics.livejournal.com/towo/pic/0000dbcr/) by the lovely Towo and [CxS Kissing](http://original-botticella.deviantart.com/art/quot-PoW-quot-ch-14-CxS-Kissing-159147623) by o_botticella_g. Thanks so much, guys! You make me so happy!

Sephiroth led Cloud into his bedroom and guided him down onto the bed. "I don't need help," Cloud muttered.

"I know," Sephiroth said quietly, "It's just, I want to help you. Please, will you let me?" Sephiroth didn't understand the feeling, but he knew he didn't want to let Cloud out of his sight.

"As long as you realize I don't _need_ it. But maybe I want it a little."

Sephiroth smiled at that and sat on the bed, holding Cloud's hand. He understood Cloud's need to prove himself; he and Zack were both significantly stronger and it had to be hard on him. But it was nice to know that he could _want_ to be taken care of sometimes. It would have been nicer, though, if it hadn't come down to this. He couldn't help but feel angry at Cloud for not asking for help before things escalated to the point where he was attacked.

He heard the front door open and Zack entered the room shortly after with a bag containing some of Cloud's things.

"Hey, Cloud, brought your pyjamas for you."

"Thanks, Zack." Cloud took the clothing and looked pointedly at the two men. "I can get changed on my own."

"Right, sorry," Zack said, backing towards the door.

Sephiroth reluctantly followed suit. "Call if you need anything."

As the door shut quietly, Zack turned to him and spoke, "Are you sure you want to do this? I can take care of him at our place."

"No, I want him here. I don't know why, I just do. He's safe here."

"Okay, okay, I was just checking. I'll tell Lazard that you're not coming in tomorrow."

"Thank you."

"Do you need anything? Got enough soup? The doctor said he was only allowed clear liquids."

"Yes, I think I'm sufficiently stocked."

"All righty then. I brought him a change of clothes for tomorrow, his toothbrush and Mini-Cloud, just to annoy him." Zack handed over the bag with Cloud's things. "Uh, just so you know, in case it comes up, Cloud still has nightmares sometimes."

"What do I do if he does?" That wasn't on the list of instructions he had been given. Suddenly, Sephiroth felt significantly less qualified than he thought he had been.

"Don't panic is a good start. You've got to make sure he's awake, first. Sometimes he'll start screaming before his brain's fully woken up. Make sure he recognizes you, too; it can be pretty confusing waking up from a nightmare. Then you just comfort him like you did today until he calms down. You can do it; don't underestimate yourself."

"Okay. Can I call you, if I need to?"

"Of course you can. You know that. Have a fun night playing nurse. I'll bring you an outfit with a little hat tomorrow."

With that, Sephiroth was left holding a small bag and a stuffed chocobo, hoping he wasn't in over his head.

Sephiroth returned to his room to find that Cloud had fallen asleep curled up on his side, clutching the blankets close. He didn't want to wake him when he looked so peaceful, but he resolutely reached out and squeezed his shoulder. He had been specifically told not to shake him under any circumstances.

"Cloud, I need you to wake up."

Cloud slowly stirred and Sephiroth began going through his checklist. He hadn't been difficult to wake, so that was one.

"Do you have a bad headache or feel dizzy?" he asked.

"No."

"Feel nauseous at all?"

"No."

"Hold out your hands." Cloud did so, and Sephiroth noted a lack of tremors. "Squeeze my fingers. Good. Say something."

"You're a jerk for waking me up when I had just fallen asleep."

Well, he wasn't slurring and didn't seem confused. Being grouchy about being woken up probably didn't count as agitated. He leaned in and checked Cloud's nose, ears and eyes; they all looked fine.

"Okay, you can go back to sleep. Do you want this?" He dubiously held out the chocobo toy and was mildly surprised when Cloud grabbed it out of his hand and hugged it close, although he looked annoyed about it.

"Zack's a jerk, too, for teasing me," he grumbled as he shut his eyes.

Sephiroth waited a few minutes until it appeared that Cloud had fallen asleep again and then went and brought a chair in from his living room. He took off his coat and made himself comfortable. It was going to be a _long_ night.

***

The first rays of sunlight peeking in through the blinds were a welcome relief from sitting silently in the dark. Cloud's condition hadn't changed throughout the night and, to Sephiroth's great relief, he hadn't had any nightmares. Although being woken up every hour might have had something to do with that. Cloud had gotten progressively crankier as the night went on and he had been woken again and again. Sephiroth was beginning to feel extremely guilty for doing it, but that was what the doctor had said he had to do. Finally, around eight o'clock, he got up to go make some coffee.

Cloud would probably be getting hungry soon, so he took a can of broth from the cupboard and put it on the stove to start heating as he sipped his coffee. When it was ready, he turned the stove to low and went back to the bedroom.

"Cloud, wake up."

"Not again," Cloud whined and sat up, holding out his hands resignedly.

"Sorry, but I have to," Sephiroth said as he went through his checklist for what felt like the hundredth time. "I made some soup, if you're hungry."

"Yeah, a little." Cloud swung his legs out of the bed and stood up. Sephiroth stood by, ready to support him if necessary.

Sephiroth made himself some breakfast while Cloud slowly slurped at his broth. When he sat down at the table, Cloud was looking a little bit more awake.

"Thanks," Cloud said, "For the soup and for taking care of me. I know I've been annoying. I don't really think you're a jerk, despite the number of times I called you one."

"You haven't been annoying, maybe a bit grouchy, but that's understandable. I'm glad you don't think I'm a jerk. Are you feeling okay now?"

"Still tired, but yeah, my headache's mostly gone."

"Good." Sephiroth hesitated, but he had to ask, "Why didn't you come to me before you got hurt? I would have done something if I had known if was that bad. I know that you can take care of yourself, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't ask for help if you need it." Sephiroth tried, but he couldn't keep the hurt from showing in his voice.

Cloud hunched up and furrowed his brow. "You really don't get it, do you? Zack doesn't either, not really."

"Then explain it to me so I understand. You're good at explaining things to me."

"It's not like that, it's not something easy like explaining why we put candles on cakes. You've never been bullied; you can't know what it's like!"

"Why not?" Sephiroth was growing frustrated. He _wasn't_ going to let this go again.

"Because it doesn't make sense unless you've been there!" Cloud banged his spoon down on the table. "Gaia! It doesn't even make sense to _me!_ "

Sephiroth rubbed his temples; perhaps the morning after a sleepless night wasn't the best time to have this conversation. "Please, just try, okay? I'll do my best to understand. Why don't we go sit down where it's more comfortable?"

The fight seemed to drain out of Cloud and he nodded tiredly. When Sephiroth held out his arms for Cloud to join him on the couch, he curled up with his back pressed into Sephiroth's bare chest. Sephiroth ran his fingers through spikes that were even wilder after being slept on and kissed Cloud's cheek. "Please," he repeated, "I need to know."

Cloud sighed heavily before speaking, "I've been picked on my whole life. I was always the odd kid out; the one that no one wanted to be seen talking to. Eventually, I got used to it; that was just the way things were. So I started thinking that maybe I deserved it. I mean, that many people can't be wrong, right?"

Sephiroth wasn't sure if he was supposed to answer that question or not, but Cloud started speaking again before he got the chance.

"So when I came to Shin-Ra and it was just more of the same, I was pretty much convinced that I was the problem. I feel... like there's something wrong with me."

"There's nothing wrong with you!"

"See? That's what you don't understand. I _know_ that it's not my fault, but I believe it anyways." Cloud reached up to rub at his eyes. "There's no point in even trying to explain."

"No, Cloud. Please keep going, I'll be quiet." Sephiroth pulled Cloud closer to him.

"You and Zack think it's just a matter of saying, 'Hey, I'm being bullied, please do something about it', but it's not that easy. Telling someone that it's bothering me means admitting to myself that it's bothering me. And I can't do that!"

Tears were falling freely from Cloud's eyes now and Sephiroth gently brushed them off his cheeks. He truly didn't understand why Cloud would feel like it was his fault, but he wished he did.

"I know that I could have been hurt a lot worse yesterday. I know I got lucky that the fourth guy left and that I was able to catch them off guard and get in a few good hits. I know that I could have been raped again. And I knew beforehand that something like that was going to happen eventually, but I _couldn't_ say anything!"

"So what happens now?" Sephiroth asked quietly. "Do you go back to the way things were before and wait for it to happen again?"

"I—I don't want to, but—"

"Then don't. It doesn't have to be that way. It's out in the open now; if you don't want it to happen again, ask me for help. I'll do everything I can. Maybe I don't understand and maybe I never will, but I don't need to understand in order to do something about it. I don't want to give you ultimatums, but I can't keep pretending like this isn't happening. I can't stand seeing you hurt when there's something I could have done to prevent it."

Cloud didn't respond, but he didn't try to move away either, so Sephiroth just held him close and waited. After fifteen minutes of silence, however, he began to wonder if he should say something else. He hadn't meant to come off that harsh-sounding.

"Cloud, are you still awake?" That was another possibility; Cloud was still tired.

"Yeah."

"Are you mad at me?"

"No."

Sephiroth sighed. "Can you tell me some more? I really do want to understand; maybe if you told me about some of the things that have happened, it would help. Not necessarily things that happened at Shin-Ra, unless you want to, but maybe from when you were a kid."

"So you want to know about how I always wanted to play with the other kids, and on the rare occasions they actually let me, it would only be so they would have someone to pick on? Or maybe how it feels to open your desk at school and find all your books have been destroyed. Again. Or what it's like to celebrate your tenth birthday with your mom and a six-year-old who was there because his mom was friends with mine and it's 'not right to not have a party'." Cloud's voice was laced with venom.

"Yes, I do. It's a part of who you are, Cloud, and I want to know everything about you."

"Why do you have to make it sound so sweet?" Cloud grumbled. "Fine." He rolled over and tucked his head into the crook of Sephiroth shoulder and began speaking. "There was this girl named Tifa. She was the mayor's daughter and everyone treated her like a princess. She was never mean to me, like the other kids, so I liked her. She mostly ignored me, but every once in a while she'd ask for my help with something and it was like she was my friend for a while. I'd do anything she wanted just so she'd pay attention to me.

"When we were thirteen, Tifa's mom died. I think that was the first unpleasant thing that ever happened to her. She was really upset and she got it into her head that her mom had gone to the other side of Mount Nibel. So she decided to go find her, even though it was really dangerous. She had her three best friends with her at first, but they chickened out and went back home. I had followed them because I was worried about Tifa. When they turned back, Tifa kept going alone, so I followed behind to make sure she was okay.

"There was a rickety old bridge going across a gorge. We had always been told to never cross it, but Tifa did. I was scared, but I followed. I had just stepped onto it when Tifa slipped. I ran to try and catch her, but the ropes broke and we both fell. Mayor Lockheart and some other men from the village found us just after I came to. I wasn't too badly hurt, but Tifa was still unconscious. They blamed me for letting her get hurt. She was in a coma for seven days; no one thought she'd survive and everyone hated me for not saving her. No one listened when I told them I was just following her to try and keep her safe, but they didn't care that I had tried. They just took everything out on me."

"Did they hurt you?" Sephiroth had trouble keeping his voice steady.

"Yeah, I got beat up a lot for that. Even after she recovered. Tifa didn't talk to me anymore, so I thought she blamed me too. It got to the point where I began believing that I could have saved her if I had tried harder or been stronger. I was mad at myself for being so weak. That was when I first heard about you. I thought that if I joined SOLDIER, if I could become like you, maybe I wouldn't be so weak and people wouldn't hate me."

"I'm so sorry that happened to you, Cloud. I'm grateful you told me; I think I understand a little bit better now."

Cloud nodded and silence fell for a few minutes.

"Sephiroth?" Cloud eventually spoke again.

"Yes?"

"I'm being bullied and it's too much for me to deal with on my own, will you help me?"

"Are you being the smartass Zack warned me about?"

"A little, but I'm also being serious. Please? I don't want to be scared like that again. I really don't. And I don't want to lose you, you're one of the best things in my life."

Sephiroth buried his face in Cloud's hair and squeezed him tight. "Thank you," he breathed. "Of course I'll help you. I promise."

Sephiroth closed his eyes in relief. He was so tired; the stress of Cloud being injured, followed by staying up all night had worn him out. It didn't seem like Cloud wanted to go anywhere, so he allowed himself to relax and drift into sleep.

***

Cloud woke to a feeling of warmth wrapped around him. He smiled to himself as he realized where he was. He had fallen asleep in Sephiroth's arms, like any normal couple. And, his smile grew a little bit bigger, he wasn't afraid. It wasn't much, he knew, but he had successfully defended himself yesterday. He didn't just sit back and take it; he fought, and he fought well. Even though he realized that it wouldn't help him much against Sephiroth, he couldn't help but feel a little bit safer and a little more confident. Maybe now they could start moving forwards. Although... Cloud remembered how terrifying Sephiroth had been yesterday when he attacked Davies. But he had done it for him, to protect him. And as soon as he had spoken, Sephiroth stopped. He was sure Sephiroth wouldn't hurt him; he just wanted Cloud to be safe.

He listened to Sephiroth's soft breathing next to his ear. He must have been exhausted. Cloud hadn't realized it at the time, but there had been a chair sitting next to the bed when he had gotten up. Sephiroth must have stayed up all night to watch over him. A part of him still couldn't believe that someone actually cared that much for him. He didn't understand why Sephiroth was willing to go to such lengths, but he was grateful for it.

Slowly, Cloud worked his way out of Sephiroth's arms. He had to pee badly but he didn't want to disturb him. Eventually, he got free and padded over to the bathroom. Looking at his face in the mirror, Cloud noted that all the evidence of yesterday's fight was gone. He looked closely at his throat where Davies had grabbed him, but there was nothing. After brushing his teeth, he wandered back out to the living room. He wondered if it might be possible to get back into Sephiroth's arms without waking him up. It didn't look like it would be too difficult, so he carefully lifted his right arm and attempted to resume his former position.

Sephiroth's eyes flew open and he sat up like a shot causing Cloud to jump back. His heart was beating a mile a minute! He had never seen anyone wake up that quickly.

"Sorry," said Cloud, "I didn't mean to disturb you."

"Cloud?" Sephiroth blinked at him. "Ugh, sorry about that. Did I scare you?"

"A little. I wasn't expecting you to move so quickly."

"I got used to waking up in a hurry during the war." He looked up at the clock on the wall. "Shit! It's nearly eleven! Sorry, Cloud, I've got to check you for symptoms."

"Uh, you know I can do that myself when I'm awake, right? I was just in the bathroom, I can assure you that no brain fluid or matter or anything else was leaking out my ears."

"Right." Sephiroth still looked like he felt terribly guilty.

"Also, the doctor told you to check me every one to two hours. Note the two there. We talked for about an hour this morning, maybe a little longer, so that means you haven't failed in your duties." Cloud sighed. "You can check me now if it would make you feel better."

"You don't mind?"

Cloud shook his head and sat, holding out his hands. "No, I appreciate it. It can't have been fun staying up all night to watch me."

"It wasn't that bad," said Sephiroth as he took Cloud's hands into his own. "You're cute when you're curled up with your chocobo."

Cloud felt his face flushing. "I can't believe I slept with it!" he wailed. "Why did you even give it to me?"

"I thought it might make you feel better. I've heard that some people have stuffed toys that they sleep with at night, so when Zack brought it over..."

"It's all Zack's fault. Children, by the way, sleep with stuffed toys. For future reference."

"I see." Sephiroth spoke quietly and Cloud hoped he hadn't hurt his feelings. He appreciated that Sephiroth had been trying to make him feel better, it was just embarrassing. He was seventeen; he didn't need a toy to comfort him.

Sephiroth finished checking him over and went to take a shower. Cloud fell back to sleep only to be woken up, again, what felt like a few minutes later.

"The shower's free now, if you want. I left a couple towels on the rack for you and your bag with the change of clothes Zack brought is by the door." Sephiroth was crouched next to him wearing only a pair of pants and Cloud quickly grabbed hold of his shoulders and pulled him in for a kiss.

"Thank you," Cloud mumbled against Sephiroth's lips.

***

The shower felt so good beating down on his tired muscles and Cloud relished the chance to try out Sephiroth's secret shampoo. It smelled just like him; the variety of scents wafted through the steamy air, making it seem like Sephiroth was all around him. He squeezed some body wash out onto his hand and noticed it had the same scent. He did his best to ignore the way his body was reacting to the smell and began scrubbing himself down. But his soaped up hands slid so nicely over his body and Cloud felt his groin begin to harden.

What was normally a routine task was swiftly becoming far too pleasurable and Cloud briefly imagined that it was Sephiroth's hands sliding over his ass. He curled his hand around his cock and stroked twice before he caught himself. This was _Sephiroth's_ shower. And Sephiroth was right outside. He couldn't go jerking off in someone else's shower like it was his own home. Cloud groaned in frustration and thumped back against the wall of the shower, trying to think unsexy thoughts. Just as he came up with the image of Hojo's sneering face, the bathroom door burst open and Sephiroth came flying in. He grabbed the shower door and flung it open.

"Cloud!" Sephiroth shouted, "Are you all right? I heard a bang and... and..." Sephiroth's eyes grew wide as he took in Cloud's current state.

Cloud scrambled to cover himself as Sephiroth rapidly backed up.

"I'm sorry." Sephiroth looked like he couldn't decide if he wanted to stay or run, but he apparently decided on the latter and slammed the door shut behind him.

"Oh, for Gaia's sake, Cloud," he muttered to himself. "Way to ruin things."

He quickly rinsed himself off and turned off the shower. Did he really have to go back out there? What was he supposed to say after something like that? 'Sorry, your shampoo really turned me on'? The worst thing was that he obviously wanted more with Sephiroth, since it was thinking of him that had done it, but he still panicked whenever they tried anything. It made no sense. Cloud finished dressing and tried to will the blush from his face. He determinedly opened the door, ready to face the embarrassment.


	18. Chapter 18

Sephiroth paced back and forth across the living room. He couldn't believe he had just barged in like that. He could have at least knocked first and given Cloud the chance to answer. But he had panicked. He wasn't to blame for that! Cloud was still suffering from a head injury; he was just being cautious by listening from the bedroom. What if Cloud had fainted while he was in the shower? There might not have been time to knock and wait for a reply if he was lying facedown in a pool of water. No, he had done the right thing, he was sure of it. He just hoped that Cloud was still willing to come out of the bathroom. And that he hadn't noticed Sephiroth's hesitation about leaving; it _had_ been a tempting sight.

He heard the water shut off and several minutes later, the door opened and he heard footsteps in the bedroom. Cloud's face was still red as he cautiously poked his head around the doorframe.

"I'm sorry," they both said at once. Cloud covered his face and laughed in a rather pained fashion.

"No, really," said Sephiroth, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to burst in without any warning. I was worried that you had fainted or something. I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't scare me, just, uh, caught me by surprise. And it wasn't what you think, either. I wasn't doing _that_. It's just, there was your shampoo and it smelled like you and I was trying to think about something that wasn't sexy and you came in and I'm sorry."

"It smelled like me?"

"I didn't mean that!" Cloud's shout was near deafening and he flailed his arms in denial of the statement.

"Then, what did you mean?" Sephiroth was curious about what the smell of his shampoo had to do with anything.

"Nothing! I didn't mean anything! Just forget I said it, okay?"

"Hmm." Sephiroth smirked; it seemed like Cloud was fine, so a little teasing was probably okay. "I think you must have meant something by it. I'll have to ask Zack if you don't tell me. I hate not knowing things, you see."

"Don't you dare say anything to Zack! He'd never let me live it down."

"Then tell me," Sephiroth purred in an almost predatory fashion.

"No way I'm telling some pervert who barges into bathrooms and opens shower stalls when they know someone's in there! I'll tell Zack all about how you were just trying to sneak a peek."

Cloud looked so fierce and determined that Sephiroth couldn't help but laugh. Cloud stared at him a few moments before he too began snickering. Soon enough, they were both clutching their sides and gasping for air as the humour of the situation sunk in.

Eventually they calmed down enough to speak again. "So what do you want for lunch?" Sephiroth asked. "It's been more than twelve hours, so you can eat real food again."

"Got the stuff to make grilled cheese sandwiches?" Cloud was lying sprawled out on the floor and he rolled over onto his stomach to look at Sephiroth. "I've been craving those lately."

"I don't know, what do you need?"

"Cheese, bread, and butter. And a frying pan. Are you saying you've never had grilled cheese sandwiches?"

"I don't think so." Sephiroth was slightly ashamed to show his lack of knowledge once again.

"Then c'mon." He hopped up and grabbed Sephiroth's hand. "I'll show you how."

Sephiroth had fun learning how to make what turned out to be a very tasty lunch. He learned to watch his sandwiches very closely, and that a lid on the frying pan was the key to having melted cheese without blackened bread. Cloud was very adamant about that. Shortly after they finished eating, Sephiroth's phone rang.

"Hi, Zack," he answered, "How are things going?"

"I've been saddled with all your work so you can dote on your sweetheart, how do you think they're going?"

"Not well?" Sephiroth wasn't quite sure how to respond; Zack _had_ volunteered to cover for him today.

"Actually things are fine, I'm being sent out on a mission in a hour and I probably won't be home until tomorrow. I was wondering if it's all right if Cloud stays with you again tonight? How's he doing, by the way?"

"He's good; he didn't have any of the symptoms the doctor said to watch for. And it's fine by me, I'll just ask him." Sephiroth turned to Cloud. "Zack's going out on a mission overnight, so do you want to stay here again?"

Cloud nodded. "Okay. Wish him luck for me."

"Cloud says good luck," Sephiroth spoke into the phone.

"Hey, I'm SOLDIER First Class, Zack Fair. I don't _need_ luck."

"Uh huh. I'll be sure to let him know."

"Good man. So everything's good? Don't get too wild, he's still recovering, remember?"

"I wouldn't!" Sephiroth protested.

"Yeah, yeah, you're real noble, I know. But if you don't have _any_ interesting stories about your first sleepover when I get back, I'm going to be very disappointed."

"Ah, well, I'd hate to disappoint you. Actually," Sephiroth paused, "I don't think I'd mind that at all."

"Come on, Seph!" Zack whined. "Oh, shit, I've gotta go, Kunsel's here. I'll talk to you guys later, 'kay?"

Sephiroth hung up the phone and tossed onto the coffee table. "Zack said to tell you he doesn't need luck. But I think he appreciates it anyways."

"Yeah, he always says that. And he does this silly pose while he says it."

Since Cloud was still supposed to be taking it easy, they were content to laze about for the remainder of the afternoon. They took a short trip down to Zack and Cloud's apartment to get some more clothes and to put Mini-Cloud back where it belonged; Cloud placed it carefully on one of the shelves in his room and patted its head. He also grabbed some sort of book and brought it with him, but Sephiroth couldn't see what it was.

When they got back to Sephiroth's apartment, Cloud hopped onto the couch with a little more enthusiasm than was strictly necessary and patted the spot beside him, holding the book.

"Come sit," he said, "I want to show you this."

Sephiroth sat next to him and Cloud rearranged them until Sephiroth ended up sitting between Cloud's legs, leaning against his chest. It was quite the opposite of their usual positions and he hoped he wasn't squashing Cloud. He didn't allow all his weight to rest on him until Cloud jerked back on his shoulders.

"I'm not going to break," said Cloud, sternly. "I can't see over you unless you're leaning back."

Sephiroth laughed and let himself relax into Cloud's embrace.

"So what did you want to show me?"

"Zack got the pictures from the party developed and we put them in an album." Cloud opened the book to the first page and placed it in Sephiroth's lap. It was the picture that had been taken as they exited L'Astrance. "Except that one. Zack asked that guy, Tseng, I think, to 'obtain' the full-sized file so we could have a nice copy of it. 'Cause you were right, it is a good picture."

They went through the rest of the pictures; Sephiroth hadn't realized just how many Zack had taken. There were a lot of good candid shots of him and Cloud together. When they got to the one of Cloud hugging Sephiroth, he found himself blushing at the memory.

Cloud leaned in close to his ear. "I put that one in a frame. And the one with all four of us."

"These are great."

"Do you want copies? Zack got a bunch printed so there'd be enough for everyone."

"Yes, please. That'd be wonderful."

Cloud put the album on the floor when they were done looking at it and sat running his fingers through Sephiroth's hair.

"Hey, Sephiroth? Can I—I mean, it's kind of weird, but I was wondering if maybe you wouldn't mind if I—um... can I brush your hair?"

"You want to brush my hair?" Sephiroth felt a certain amount of trepidation at that. He had woken up once after a rather wild night with ribbons in his hair, courtesy of Zack. But he liked Cloud touching his hair and he hadn't yet shown any inclination towards styling it. "All right, just don't do anything embarrassing with it."

"I won't! You don't have to let me if you don't want. I know it's weird."

"I'll go get my brush." Sephiroth went and grabbed his brush from the bathroom and came back out to the living room. "Where do you want me?"

"Um, maybe with your head in my lap?" Cloud sat so he was cross-legged and Sephiroth handed him the brush and lay down with his hair splayed out.

Cloud picked up a section and began running the brush through it, taking care not to pull. Sephiroth closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of someone else taking care of him. His thoughts wandered back to the morning and what Cloud had said. He supposed it made sense that his shampoo smelled like him; he did use an awful lot of it. But what did that have to do with the obvious erection Cloud had been sporting? Unless... Sephiroth could have smacked himself as it dawned on him. Cloud had gotten turned on thinking about him. That was a _good_ thing; it meant that Cloud really did want him like that. But then, why would he not want to go further together? He supposed it all came back to the rape; Cloud just wasn't comfortable yet.

Cloud spent about half an hour brushing his hair, then set the brush down and began giving him a scalp massage. Fingers gently rubbed his temples and thumbs smoothly crept across the top of his head.

"That feels nice," he mumbled. He was too wrapped up in the pleasure to come up with much more, but figured he should try following Zack's advice. He tried to think of ways he could make Cloud feel more at ease when an idea occurred to him.

"Cloud?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think about me when you touch yourself?"

" _What!?_ " Cloud's hands froze and Sephiroth felt Cloud's legs tense up like he was about to bolt.

He had to explain fast. "I was just trying to think of ways to help us move forward and I know _I_ think about _you_ when I masturbate, so I was just wondering if you think about me? I'm not trying to embarrass you, I promise."

Cloud relaxed a tiny bit, but his hands didn't start moving again. "That's not what I was doing this morning, but, uh, yeah, I do. Why?" Sephiroth was sure Cloud was beet red at the moment and was glad he was in a position so he couldn't see. Cloud would probably be even more embarrassed if he were.

"It's just, if you're comfortable touching yourself, and thinking about me, maybe you'd be comfortable with me there too?"

"Huh? I'm not sure I follow."

Damn, he wasn't explaining this right. He tried again. "What I'm trying to suggest is that maybe instead of me touching you, because that still frightens you, you could touch yourself, with me in the room."

"You want to _watch_?"

"Yes. I think it might help you feel more comfortable around me when we're in a sexual situation."

"I—I don't know if I could do that. I'd be too embarrassed."

"You don't have to, of course, but take some time and think about it. I _do_ really think it would help us get to a level of intimacy we're both okay with. We could do whatever you'd like to make you feel comfortable."

"Uh... I'll think about it, okay?" Cloud resumed his massage, but he seemed distracted and would occasionally stop and start again.

Sephiroth closed his eyes again and relaxed. He truly hoped that Cloud would agree to his idea.

***

"Would I have to be naked?"

Sephiroth looked startled and he paused with his fork half way to his mouth. "No, I suppose not. Would you prefer to keep your clothes on?"

"I dunno, maybe." Cloud poked at a piece of meat on his plate before spearing it. It was probably counterintuitive to the whole thing, but it might be less embarrassing if he didn't have to be completely naked. He was still trying to process Sephiroth's suggestion. At first he had been horrified at the idea, but he had thought about it all afternoon and maybe Sephiroth was right. He _did_ imagine it was Sephiroth touching him when he masturbated, so the next logical step would be for Sephiroth to watch. There was something kind of _appealing_ about the idea...

"If I asked, would you stop looking until I said it was okay?"

"Yes, of course."

"Where would you be? In relation to me, I mean."

"Wherever you want me to be." Sephiroth was looking hopeful now.

"So, if I wanted, would you sit on the bed with me? The idea of having you watch from a chair across the room is kind of scary."

"Yes, that would be good, I think. I can talk to you as well, if you'd like. So it's not like you're just performing for me or something."

"That might be good, yeah... Okay." Cloud made his decision. They weren't going to get anywhere if they didn't try _something_. It did seem like Sephiroth was honestly trying to help.

"Okay?"

"Okay. We can try it."

***

Cloud put the last plate back in the cupboard and turned nervously to face Sephiroth. Sephiroth held out his arms and Cloud rushed him, desperately needing a hug.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Sephiroth asked.

"Yeah," Cloud nodded. "I'm sure. I'm just nervous."

"All the same rules still apply. If you want to stop, we'll stop. No arguments. Okay?"

"Okay."

Sephiroth gently took him by the chin and raised his head, leaning down to kiss him. He deepened the kiss and started walking Cloud backwards towards the bedroom. When they got there, Sephiroth kept guiding him across the room to a lamp that, when turned on, gave off a soft glow that wasn't near as harsh as the overhead light.

"Oh, good." Cloud broke the kiss with a sigh of relief. "I was wondering if we had to have the main light on."

"Nope." Sephiroth ran his fingers down and up Cloud's spine and into his hair. "If this is too bright, we can just leave the light in the hall on."

"It's fine like this." Cloud's body was reacting already to Sephiroth's touches and he could feel Sephiroth's erection pressed up against him. Somehow, the idea of what they were about to do was intensifying every sensation. He felt the backs of his legs bump into the edge of the bed and his breath hitched momentarily.

"Are you still okay?" Sephiroth managed to ask as he sucked on his earlobe.

"Yeah."

Sephiroth eased him down onto the bed and Cloud scooted backwards so he could lean against the headboard. Sephiroth crawled up beside him and opened a drawer in his bedside table. He took out a tube and placed it between them.

"There's some lube if you want."

Cloud nodded and shut his eyes. He could do this. He enjoyed doing this. It was just going to be a little different this time. He felt Sephiroth shift, moving a little bit further away from him, but still close enough that he could hear his breathing. He shyly ran a hand up his chest, feeling the muscles underneath his shirt and cracked open an eye. Sephiroth was looking at him. He eyes were darting between his face, his hands, and the bulge in his pants. All with a look of devotion and caring.

Cloud shut his eyes again and pushed up his shirt a little. He traced his fingers across the outline of his abs, tickling a bit and causing his skin to prickle. The shirt kept falling down and getting in his way, so he decided to get it over with and pulled it over his head. He heard Sephiroth move and the shirt was taken out of his grasp. Cloud opened his eyes and saw Sephiroth holding the shirt to his face and inhaling deeply.

"It smells like you," he said as an explanation. "And you smell good."

Cloud's face flushed and he nearly tried to grab the shirt back. Instead he stopped himself and said, "I think you should take your shirt off too. It's only fair."

"Fair enough," Sephiroth said and lifted his own shirt over his head. Cloud allowed himself a good stare at the muscular torso hardened by years of hard work and training. After all, Sephiroth was staring at him.

He kept his eyes on Sephiroth for a few moments and then resumed his touching. He slid his hands over his nipples and felt them harden beneath his touch. His right hand paused there while his left continued back to his stomach. He rubbed the pads of three fingers over his nipple, enjoying the sensations it sent shooting to his groin. He raised those fingers to his mouth and slipped them in, one at a time, swirling his tongue around them and pulling them out again with a pop.

"Oh, fuck, Cloud," Sephiroth groaned.

Cloud smiled and returned to rubbing his nipples; the wetness provided a nice slick surface and he pinched the hardened flesh, letting out a soft, throaty sound as he did so. This wasn't as bad as he thought it might be. It was getting to be pretty easy to forget his embarrassment, and the fact that Sephiroth was getting turned on by watching him was making it feel even better. He let his left hand drift lower and began fondling the hardened flesh beneath his pants.

"That's it." Sephiroth's voice was encouraging. "You're so hot right now, Cloud. Do you have any idea how hard you're making me?"

"You like it?" Cloud asked shyly.

"Very much."

Cloud's fingers found the button on his pants and he undid it and pulled down the zipper before he lost his nerve. He only hesitated a moment before pushing his hand beneath his boxers and taking hold of his erection. He moaned as he squeezed the aching flesh and began stroking. At the sound of Sephiroth's breathing speeding up, he turned to look and saw an expression of rapture painted across his usually stern features.

"Kiss me?" Cloud wasn't sure if he wanted to make it a question or an order. He had the feeling that he was the one in charge right now.

Sephiroth leaned over and braced his arms on either side of Cloud's chest. Cloud opened his mouth as Sephiroth lowered his head down and lost himself in the sensation of Sephiroth's tongue sliding into his mouth. They kissed for a minute or so, and then Sephiroth returned to his former position. Cloud wanted to try the lubricant Sephiroth had brought out; it was probably a lot nicer than lotion, since that was what it was meant for. But it would be messy with his pants still on. It was silly to want to keep them on; the whole point of this was to get comfortable with his body when Sephiroth was around. It wouldn't work if he was afraid to take his pants off.

"Could you look away for a minute?" Cloud had made his decision, but he wasn't about to do a striptease.

"Of course, let me know when you're ready." Sephiroth shut his eyes and turned his whole body away so there was no way he could see.

When Cloud was certain he wasn't looking, he quickly pulled off his pants and lay back down on the bed. He took the tube of lube and looked at the label. Warms on contact; that sounded interesting. He squeezed a generous amount out onto his hand and snapped it shut. Rubbing his hands together, he noted that it did indeed appear to warm up quite nicely.

"Okay, you can look now."

Sephiroth turned back and a look of pure joy washed over his face. "Gaia," he choked out.

Cloud reached down between his legs and grasped himself once again. He began careful, steady strokes, adding a twisting motion at the top that rubbed his thumb over the head. Pre-come was leaking from the tip already, but Cloud wanted this feeling to last. He kept his pace even and broke it up every once in a while to squeeze his balls and roll them over his fingers. The fact that Sephiroth was sitting right next to him, watching everything he was doing was making everything feel so much better than it usually did. He glanced over and saw Sephiroth attempting to discreetly rub his own erection.

"You... you should touch yourself too," Cloud said lustily.

"Are you sure that's okay?"

"Yes, please. Show me how good it feels for you."

Sephiroth didn't hesitate any further and quickly unzipped his pants. He shoved them down past his hips and pulled out his straining cock. Cloud paused long enough to take the lube and dole out some more. He then held out his hand out to Sephiroth who gently took hold of it. He spread it around, twisting his fingers through Sephiroth's until both their hands were thoroughly slicked. He pulled his hand back and watched in awe as Sephiroth began stroking himself.

"Does it feel good?" Cloud asked, despite knowing the answer.

"Yeah, it feels amazing." Sephiroth looked him in the eyes as he spoke.

All thoughts of embarrassment or shame were long gone now, so Cloud pushed himself up onto his knees. He angled his body so that Sephiroth would get a nice, side view, and he could still see Sephiroth. Leaning back on his toes, Cloud shut his eyes, took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. He then snaked his left hand around behind him and traced a slick trail down his crack. He found his entrance and rubbed the tip of his index finger against it before sliding it slowly in, moaning in pleasure.

"Fuck!" Sephiroth's shout startled him and his eyes flew open to see Sephiroth with a death-grip on the base of his erection.

"Did I do something wrong?" Cloud's heart raced as he wondered if that was going too far or if Sephiroth maybe thought it was disgusting.

"No! Gaia, Cloud, no. You are so beautiful right now. Please, keep going."

The desperate tone of Sephiroth's plea reassured him, so Cloud resumed his stroking, combining it now with a slow thrusting in and out of his passage. He added another finger and quickly found his prostate. His hips jerked reflexively as he brushed over it in time with his strokes. The pleasure was rapidly building and he wasn't going to last much longer. Sephiroth was also stroking himself again and a quick glance down at his leaking member was all it took to push him over the edge.

"Se—Sephiroth, I'm coming," he choked out as his strokes sped up. His toes curled as muscles spasmed around his fingers and he cried out, spilling into his hand. He kept thrusting, hitting his pleasure spot again and again as the climax washed over him until, at last, it became too much and he pulled his fingers out.

Cloud looked up at Sephiroth. His hand was flying over his cock and his mouth was partially open; he was panting heavily.

"Cloud!" he gasped and Cloud watched him thrust his hips upwards one last time as he came. His seed spurted over his hand and splashed down onto his stomach. Gradually, his strokes slowed and soon he lay still, except for the heaving of his chest.

Cloud wondered vaguely if he should go get a towel from the bathroom, but he really didn't want to leave just yet. Sephiroth solved his dilemma when he wiped himself off using the sheet.

"Come here, Cloud." Sephiroth held out his arms and Cloud hastily wiped his hands and crawled forward to rest his head on Sephiroth's chest. "You were beautiful. Do you realize how amazing you are?"

Cloud shook his head although he didn't really mean to say no. He was still feeling overwhelmed by the emotions coursing through him. "I—I'm not—"

"You _are_ , Cloud. Believe me. I wasn't expecting anything like that. How are you feeling?"

"Not as embarrassed as I thought I'd be."

"Good. It was nothing to be embarrassed about." Sephiroth absently scratched at his nape.

"Actually, I'm feeling pretty good. It was a good idea."

"So, do you think it helped?"

"I do. I mean, I'm lying here, naked, with you. That's something. I don't know if I'm ready to go all the way, but it's progress."

"Good. And don't worry about that. I'm not going to pressure you."

"Thank you." Cloud yawned widely.

"Sleepy?"

"Yeah, someone kept waking me up last night."

Sephiroth turned on the lamp by his bed and Cloud blinked at the sudden increase in light. "Okay, I'm going to go wash up, then I'll change the sheets and we can go to bed. Are you okay with me sleeping in here?"

"Yeah, that's fine." Cloud was surprised at the question. He figured Sephiroth would assume it was okay after what they had just done. It was reassuring that he asked, though. He wasn't taking anything for granted.

When Sephiroth came out of the bathroom, Cloud grabbed his pyjama bottoms and went to wash up. He finished up and exited to find Sephiroth turning down the sheets.

"Hop in," Sephiroth said.

Cloud did so and Sephiroth climbed in after, curling his body around Cloud's in a protective manner. He turned out the lamp and Cloud felt lips press against his head.

"Goodnight, Cloud."

"G'night, Sephiroth."


	19. Chapter 19

Cloud jumped onto the train just as the doors were closing. He laughed out loud as the corner of his hoodie got caught and he yanked it out. He grinned at the strange looks he was getting; he couldn't help it, he was just too happy right now. Last night had been their biggest breakthrough yet, since he and Sephiroth had forgiven each other over coffee all those weeks ago. He didn't feel like sitting, so he spun himself around on one of the poles meant to help people stand. A businessman got up and moved down to the other end of the car, and Cloud waved cheekily at him as he went.

When the train pulled to a stop in the Sector 7 train graveyard, Cloud disembarked and called out a cheery, "Thank you!" to the station guard. He glanced back at the wrecked hulks of old trains and wished he could go there some day. He'd heard it was a great place to train. Maybe he'd ask Sephiroth or Zack to go with him; Sephiroth would probably kill him if he went alone.

Cloud wound his way through the piles of debris and noticed a building that was under construction. A sign in front of it read, 'Future home of Seventh Heaven'. Weird. He hadn't thought anyone actually _constructed_ in the slums. He made his way towards the massive pillar that supported the plate above, then ducked through a big hole in the wall to get to Sector Six. From there, it was just a short walk to Aerith's church.

The heavy doors creaked as he pushed them open and Aerith looked up from where she was tending the flowers.

"Cloud!" she called. "You decided to visit."

"Hi, Aerith. It's great to see you!"

"All right, fess up. What happened?"

"What're you talking about?"

"You! You're grinning from ear to ear and you look like the cat that got the cream and the fish. Zack told me you were attacked by some jerks in your squad; that's not usually something people are happy about."

Cloud blushed. Was it really that noticeable? "I'm just happy because I fought so well," he lied.

"Uh-huh..." Aerith stuck her tongue out at him and spun on her heel, reclaiming her seat among the flowers. "Fine, don't tell me."

"Aerith!" Cloud wasn't sure if she was _actually_ mad at him, or if she was just teasing.

"Well, come help me with the flowers." Aerith waved him over, and Cloud went where she indicated, picking up a pair of clippers on the way.

"Hey, Aerith, can I ask you something?" Cloud spoke again after pruning flowers for a while.

"Sure."

"Do you know why Sephiroth likes me?"

"Don't you?" Aerith looked up from her weeding.

"Not really. I just know that he does." Cloud wasn't sure if it was normal to not know _why_ someone liked you.

"Hmm, you're a bit silly."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He knew it; he was being weird.

"It means just that." She stood up and went to sit on one of the less-broken pews. "Sephiroth likes you because you're you and you treat him like he's him."

"Uh..."

"You're nice, you're funny, you're cute, you're a hard worker, and you don't give up. And you treat him like he's a person, not a war hero or a lab specimen. That means more to him than you realize."

"Does it really?" Cloud felt a small glow of happiness in his stomach.

"Yeah, it does. Not many people even _want_ him to be human. They all want to think he's something else entirely and that hurts him. They don't want to see him as a person with flaws like them because that would wreck their illusion of him."

"But he's so much better _because_ of those flaws!" Cloud protested.

"That's my point. You see him as a complete person that sometimes needs things explained because of the way he was raised. Sephiroth has found people like you to be few and far between. That's why he treasures you so much."

"Huh..." Cloud sat amid the flowers and pondered everything Aerith had said. He wondered if it was really true. That he meant _that_ much to Sephiroth.

***

"Clo~oud." Aerith's teasing voice broke into his musings. "You're grinning like an idiot and blushing. What're you thinking about?"

"Nothing!" Cloud quickly began pulling weeds again in an attempt to look busy.

Aerith just smiled at him and he _knew_ she knew. Zack said that she often knew things about people because of her connection to the planet, but he didn't think that had anything to do with it this time. He needed to learn how Sephiroth always managed to keep his face neutral. Cloud wore his heart on his sleeve far too often. But he was glad that Sephiroth was so willing to show his emotions when they were together. The worry on his face when he arrived in the infirmary, the tender look he gave him as he healed his injuries, the rage when Corporal Davies had insulted him, and the blatant look of wanting when they were together last night. All of those faces seemed to be reserved for Cloud and Cloud alone. Even the mischievous twinkle in his eye when he teased him seemed to be a bit different than when he teased Zack.

"Aerith?" Cloud suddenly felt the urge to do something to thank Sephiroth for all his kindness lately.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to go to Wall Market?"

"Sure, how come?" she asked.

"I want to get something for Sephiroth."

"Okay." Aerith brushed off her hands and straightened her dress. "Let's go."

***

Wall Market was overwhelming as usual; the masses of people rushing about and the shop owners hawking their wares made for a hair-raising experience. Zack kept warning him to keep a careful eye on his wallet, so Cloud heeded his advice. He kept it in his front pocket with his hand curled safely around it while he perused the stalls looking for something Sephiroth would like. It was more difficult than he had hoped; Sephiroth seemed to be a lot like Cloud in that he didn't have much stuff. And what he did have made it look like the designer had just left his apartment. He looked at knick-knacks and baubles, but none of them seemed like something he would like. He tried looking for something that would be practical, but Sephiroth could afford way better stuff than he could.

"Having trouble?" Aerith popped up behind him and rested her chin on his shoulder.

"I don't know what to get!" Cloud whined. "I want to get him something special, but I don't want to give him something he doesn't want or need."

"You'll find something," Aerith said. "Sometimes it's not the gift itself that's really special, but the thought behind it."

"Thanks a lot," Cloud grumbled. "You're real helpful."

"I know," she said brightly. "It's because you're being so close-lipped. I don't even know why we're on this mission for a gift."

Cloud blushed again. He couldn't tell her everything that had happened! "It's just, Sephiroth really took care of me the past couple nights and I wanted to show him how much I appreciated it."

"What did he do?"

"He watched over me the whole night when I had a concussion and," Cloud hesitated, "He—he made me feel really safe. I was... able to feel more comfortable around him last night."

"I see." Aerith nodded solemnly then suddenly gave him a tight hug. "I'm so happy for you!"

"Thanks. I'm happy for me too." Cloud hugged her back. "Now help me pick something out!"

"Hmm, what about a scarf?"

"Nah, he'd never wear it."

"Ribbon for his hair?"

"Aerith!"

"Just kidding! Geeze! Hey... how about that?" Aerith pointed to a black leather book lying on a table.

Cloud went over and looked at it. Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be a photo album. He remembered his promise of pictures for Sephiroth... that would be a lot better than just giving him a stack of photos.

"It's small enough he could take it with him on missions." Aerith was looking over his shoulder again.

"Yeah, if he wanted to."

"Of course he'd want to! If you filled it with pictures of you, that is."

"How much?" Cloud asked the shopkeeper.

"500 gil," the man behind the table answered. "It's good quality, genuine leather."

That was expensive; more than he could afford, really. But Sephiroth was worth it. "O–"

"500 gil!? Mr. Thompson, what kind of business are you running?" Aerith sounded outraged.

"Miss Aerith! I didn't see you there. My apologies, you know I'm always willing to cut great deals for your friends."

Cloud watched, fascinated, as Aerith and the shopkeeper haggled over the price. She knocked him down to half the original price with the promise of a free bouquet, and after receiving a short lecture about _never_ accepting the first price offered in Wall Market, Cloud walked away significantly wiser regarding the matter of bargaining.

***

The last photo slid in to place and Cloud flipped through the album with a smile. There were lots of blank pages, so they'd have to take lots more pictures to fill it up. Zack had readily agreed to lend him Angeal's camera after he promised to take very special care of it. Zack, unlike Aerith, had wanted to know all the details of what he and Sephiroth had done. Cloud didn't think he had ever blushed so hard in his life. That wasn't something he could just _talk_ about! He had settled for saying that they had made progress and that their clothes had come off. Zack took that to mean that they had had sex, which caused Cloud to start stammering and turn even redder. Cloud sighed and shook his head as he remembered Zack's cheering. He could think what he liked, he supposed.

***

Sephiroth marched into his meeting with Lazard and Heidegger wearing his most intimidating expression. After finally convincing Cloud to allow him to help, he _had_ to get this right.

"What did you call us here for, General?" Heidegger looked repulsive, as usual, as he leaned back in his chair.

"You have a severe lack of discipline in the regular army, sir. I'd like to work with you to rectify the situation." Sephiroth levelled a glare at him.

"What are you talking about!? The army's none of your damn business! How dare you—"

"No, Heidegger. How dare _you_? How dare you allow your soldiers to be bullied and harassed and raped? Do you really think people are going to want to join when they hear about things like that?"

Heidegger spluttered indignantly and Lazard spoke up, "Is this about that trooper that was attacked, Sephiroth?"

"Yes, sir, it is. His own squad mates attacked him and that cannot be allowed to happen. Soldiers have to be able to trust their comrades to have their backs."

"Are you aware of the rumours surrounding you and Corporal Strife?" Lazard sounded mildly disapproving.

"Yes, what of them?"

"Are they true?"

"We're in a relationship, but he's not earning any special favours, if that's what you're asking."

"Ha!" Heidegger finally found his voice. "You think having the General of SOLDIER ask the directors to protect him isn't a special favour?"

Sephiroth glared at the fat man. "No, I'm _telling_ the directors to ensure a safe working environment for _all_ of their employees. Before this happened, I wasn't aware that bullying was such a big problem, but it's been going on for a long time. Now that it has come to my attention, I intend to do something about it. This isn't a special favour."

"Sephiroth, please be reasonable. You have no authority over the regular army. Your position grants you a great deal of respect among them, but in the end, that's all it is." Lazard turned to speak to Heidegger. "You can go now, I'd like to speak with Sephiroth alone."

Heidegger huffed and grumbled to himself about science projects overstepping their bounds and stormed out of the room.

"What more do you want to speak to me about?" Sephiroth asked. "If you're not going to do anything officially, I _wil_ l protect Cloud myself."

"That's the problem, Sephiroth." Lazard folded his hands and looked like he was praying for guidance. "You're dating a _corporal_ nearly ten years younger than you and you're allowing him to influence your decision-making."

"Seven." Sephiroth stated.

"Excuse me?"

"He's seven years younger than me. That's not such a big difference. It's legal."

Lazard sighed. "The age difference isn't the problem, it's the difference in your ranks and the influence he has over you. You practically _ordered_ Heidegger to protect him! You do realize that he's having these bullying problems _because_ of you, right?"

"He's not influencing me!" Sephiroth shouted in frustration. "I told Heidegger to fix things for _everyone_ , not just Cloud. I'm certain there are others that are in similar situations. And even if he's having more problems because of our relationship, the bullying's been going on a lot longer than we've known each other."

"Look, Sephiroth, I'm willing to look past the less-than-appropriate relationship; I want you to be happy, too. But you need to take a step back and calm down. I'm going to send you on a mission to Wutai for a week or so, and then we can talk again when we get back." Lazard started rummaging through his desk for the appropriate paperwork.

"No."

Lazard paused in his rummaging. "No what?"

"No, I won't be going on a mission to Wutai. Or anywhere else. Like I said, if you're not going to do anything, and you say I can't make Heidegger do anything, I'll protect Cloud myself. He's not safe otherwise." With that, Sephiroth turned and strode out of the office, heading to where Cloud would be training now.

***

Cloud held out his hand to his fallen sparring partner who grudgingly took it. He glanced up and saw a swish of silver hair pass the window of the training room. What was Sephiroth doing here? He became even more puzzled when Sephiroth entered the room and took a seat on one of the benches. When the drill instructor went over to speak to him, he was waved off casually. The instructor looked confused, but yelled at all the people gawking to carry on.

"Is it true?" his sparring partner, whose name was Gallagher, asked.

"Is what true?" Cloud knew what was coming, but hoped he could put it off if he sounded hostile enough.

"That you're doing the general?"

Cloud sighed, no such luck. "None of your damn business."

"Oh come on, you can tell me." Gallagher looked decidedly unfriendly. "What's he like in bed? If you're going to fu—"

"Is there a problem here?" Sephiroth appeared out of nowhere and Gallagher jumped at least a foot in the air. It was freaky, Cloud had been watching him out of the corner of his eye, but he had never seen him move.

"N—no, sir! There's no problem at all!" Gallagher stammered as he clutched at his chest.

"Good," Sephiroth said, "I'd hate to hear of any problems."

He smiled at Cloud before returning to his spot on the bench. Was that what he had meant when he said he'd help stop the bullying? Cloud was appalled. Sephiroth couldn't be around all the time. This was only going to make things worse!

***

Apparently, Sephiroth _could_ be around all the time. He was right outside when he left the locker room, he came to the cafeteria at lunch and even ate the cafeteria food, and he walked Cloud to his apartment every evening. Five days of being constantly followed was starting to be a little disturbing. Word had spread of how Sephiroth had attacked Davies in the infirmary, and everyone seemed to be living in fear. People avoided saying anything to Cloud, just in case Sephiroth was listening in and misinterpreted it, and that was getting to be a little lonely. Although he hadn't had any friends before, there _were_ some people who would at least say 'hi'. Now there was no one even willing to spar with him.

"Strife?" A voice hesitantly called his name from across the locker room.

Cloud turned and saw Wilson, the fourth guy who had been in the locker room the day he was attacked. His body tensed, ready for a fight.

"I'm sorry!" Wilson held up his hands like he was surrendering. "I'm really, really sorry about what happened. That wasn't—it wasn't—I didn't want _that_. Nobody deserves to get beat up. I'm sorry, I was just jealous and I thought they were going to scare you a bit, but I didn't think they'd actually hurt you! Please don't call the General. I just wanted to apologize."

"It—it's okay," Cloud mumbled. How long had Wilson been wanting to apologize, but living in fear of Sephiroth?

"I went for help," Wilson continued as though Cloud hadn't spoken. "I ran straight to Captain Tauber's office and made him come as fast as he could. I'm sorry I wasn't faster, I really am."

"It's okay," Cloud spoke a little louder. "I understand."

"Really?" Wilson's face broke into a relieved smile and he held out his hand. "I'm James."

Cloud shook hands. "Cloud. Nice to meet you properly."

"Likewise. Um," James hesitated, "Is he really here all the time to protect you?"

Cloud groaned and banged his head against his locker. "I wish he wasn't, but yes, that would appear to be his goal."

"Wow, you're so lucky."

"Lucky? He's practically a stalker! I never get a moment's peace!"

"Yeah, but... you're being stalked by General _Sephiroth_. That's so..."

"I'd rather just be dating him."

"Good point. It's because of what happened, isn't it? He's worried about you when you're alone."

"Yeah. He promised he'd help stop people bullying me, but I really didn't think this was what he meant."

"But you fought those guys on your own. You kicked ass!"

"I _know!_ And I've been training even harder since then. He knows I'm not weak, but because I'm not as strong as him, he thinks he needs to protect me."

"What if you had someone else watching your back?"

"You volunteering to be my bodyguard?" Cloud sized James up; he _did_ look like he could handle himself. He wasn't big, but he looked like he'd be fast like Cloud.

"Maybe not your bodyguard, but maybe... more like a friend?"

A friend? An actual friend his age? Cloud wasn't sure quite what to think of that. "I—I guess. You want to be friends?"

"Sure, why not? Just, uh, tell your boyfriend not to kill me for talking to you."

Cloud laughed. "Yeah, I can do that."

***

"What took you so long in this afternoon?" Sephiroth asked as he pulled Cloud down onto his lap and ran his hands over his chest. Cloud seemed unusually tense tonight. "You spent way more time in the lockers than usual."

"I was just talking to someone." Cloud sounded a bit annoyed.

"Who? What did he want?" Sephiroth ran his tongue down the side of Cloud's neck and lightly nipped at the sensitive skin.

"A guy named James and he wanted to be my friend. So leave him alone, okay? He was terrified to even talk to me. You're scaring everyone in the squad." Cloud's fists were clenched tightly and he wasn't relaxing at all, despite Sephiroth's attentions.

"Good. That was my plan. He shouldn't be talking to you anyways, you're mine." He couldn't figure out why it seemed like Cloud didn't appreciate that. He wasn't being picked on anymore.

Cloud pushed himself off of Sephiroth's lap. "Good!? That was your plan? What the hell, Sephiroth? I'm not a possession!"

"What? Why are you mad?" This was _not_ going according to his plan for tonight. Sephiroth reached for his hand, but Cloud pulled away and took a few steps back.

"I'm mad because you're acting like a jealous stalker instead of my boyfriend! You don't think someone should want to be my friend!? Do you have any idea how lonely it is when no one in your squad will even _talk_ to you?" Cloud shouted. "I didn't ask you to control my life and if I had known that that was what you were going to do, I never would have said anything." Cloud was walking backwards while he shouted, getting closer to the door.

"I'm just trying—" Sephiroth reached for him again, but Cloud spun on his heel and took a few short steps before he grabbed the door handle.

"I know you're just trying to protect me, but that's not what I want! Forget it, I'm out of here." Cloud stormed out the door, slamming it behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There ya go, Makokitten. Someone pointed out the Fat Chocobo in the room. (And look what happened!) Once again, many thanks go to Urplesquirrel for helping me fix the ending.


	20. Chapter 20

"Hey, Zack here. I can't come to the phone right now, but leave a message and I'll probably get back to you."

Sephiroth hung up without leaving a message. He had already left four and Zack _stil_ l wasn't answering. He was starting to panic; Cloud had never stormed out on him like that before. What if he never wanted to see him again? Things had been going so well, or so Sephiroth thought. But now Cloud was mad and he didn't understand why. He dialled again and it went straight to voicemail.

"Shit! Where are you, Zack?" Sephiroth asked the empty room. He needed help! He found himself missing Angeal and Genesis more than ever; they might have known what to do. Why didn't he have more friends? Why didn't he know more about dating? He scrolled through his painfully short contact list. Lazard was out; he'd probably just laugh. Besides, this was all Lazard's fault anyway; if he had just done as Sephiroth had asked, he never would have had to protect Cloud like he was. There were a few other First Classes he had had drinks with a few times, but he didn't think they'd really want to help him with his love life. Tseng! That was it! He quickly dialled the number.

***

Tseng stepped into the bar and glanced around. He saw a hooded figure sitting alone in a dark corner with numerous empty glasses on the table. Sighing and shaking his head, Tseng made his way over to his friend. Sephiroth didn't often call him about personal matters, but when he did, it was usually really important. The last time he had met him at this bar, Genesis had just disappeared and Sephiroth didn't have anyone else to turn to. He caught the waitress on his way over and ordered a beer, then slid into the booth opposite Sephiroth.

"So what's wrong?" he asked. "You know drinking rarely solves problems, right?"

"It works well enough for forgetting them, though." Sephiroth downed his drink in one gulp just as the waitress brought Tseng's beer. "Another. Actually, bring the bottle."

The waitress gave Tseng a questioning look and he just nodded. Sephiroth could handle a lot more than that before he would start feeling it.

"Not that I mind you calling me, but where's Zack?" Tseng always felt uncomfortable trying to get Sephiroth to talk. Even when he wanted to talk, it was usually necessary to pry the words out of him. Tseng had a hard time doing that without resorting to the interrogation tactics used by the Turks.

"Don't know. He won't answer his phone and he won't return my calls."

"So the problem's with Zack?" Somehow, he doubted it. When Zack was mad, he didn't avoid the person he was mad at. Tseng was almost certain the issue was with Strife.

"No."

The waitress came back with the bottle of Junon whiskey and poured a generous glass that Sephiroth immediately downed. She hesitated in pouring another one and Tseng took pity on her.

"Here." he held out his hand. "I'll take that."

She gratefully handed it over and scurried off. Tseng poured another glass. "You're not getting another one until you at least tell me why I'm here," he said.

"Cloud." Sephiroth held out the freshly emptied glass, but Tseng didn't pour.

"What happened? Did you have a fight?"

"I think so. He shouted a bunch and left. I think he's mad that I've been protecting him. He said something about me being a jealous stalker and that he's not a possession. I don't know where that came from. I just wanted him to be safe."

Tseng conceded and filled the glass. "You've been going with him practically everywhere; Cissnei was saying the other day that she wouldn't be surprised if you had put cameras in the locker rooms. My understanding of what's going on is that you told Cloud you'd stop people from bullying him, is that right?"

"Yes, but Lazard and Heidegger wouldn't listen to me when I tried to get them to change things. I wanted more discipline in the ranks and real punishments for the people responsible, but they said I didn't have the authority."

"So you threw a tantrum and decided to stalk your lover instead."

"I'm not stalking him!"

"Sephiroth, I stalk people as a part of my job. Trust me when I say you're stalking him. I understand why you're doing it, but you've got to look at it from his perspective. It's like you're saying you don't trust him. He's got his own life and you can't always be a part of it. Everyone needs some time to themselves, no matter how much they care about a person. Do you understand?"

"But it's not safe!" Tseng heard a distinct whine in Sephiroth's voice.

"I suppose you could just tattoo 'Property of Sephiroth. Do not touch.' on his forehead."

"Cloud probably wouldn't appreciate that," Sephiroth grumbled.

"No, _probably_ not. I'm glad you realize that. Look, word has spread. Zack had the people who attacked him dishonourably discharged and you nearly killed Davies when you throttled him in the infirmary. People don't want that to happen to them. They may be jealous, and they may not be happy, but they know he's under your protection and that you don't take kindly to him being insulted. Really. You can back off now."

"But what if—"

"No, Sephiroth. No buts. Cloud has told you he doesn't want you following him everywhere. You need to respect that if you don't want him to leave." Sephiroth looked like he was going to keep protesting and Tseng sighed. "I _suppose_ that when they're not doing anything else, I could have a Turk keep an eye on him. I'm not going to spy on him or report back to you about what he does, but if it would make you feel better, I could do that as a favour. You'd owe me for it, though."

"Deal. Anything you want, just name it." Sephiroth slammed his glass down onto the table, cracking it slightly in his enthusiasm.

"Just so we're clear, I'll only have him watched in public places and only when there's no one else around who will look out for him. And I'm only going to do it for a short while, okay? Just long enough for you to accept that no one else is going to attack him." Tseng felt absolutely horrible for even coming up with this plan, but it was probably the only way that he could convince Sephiroth to leave Cloud alone. Zack would probably be far better at it.

"How long?"

"No more than a week, then you've got to trust him. And give him a reason to trust you too. Right now, you're going behind his back and he's not going to be happy about it if he finds out."

"He'll be mad?"

"Definitely. Why don't you go back to Lazard first? Before we go any further with this plan. He's probably desperate for you to start working again."

"He _has_ been calling a lot lately," Sephiroth conceded.

Tseng shook his head; Lazard had probably been trying to wave a white flag since day two of this tantrum and Sephiroth just hadn't been listening. "If you can get him to change the policy on bullying, Cloud will be far happier than if you resort to having the Turks watch him."

"Okay, I'll talk to him tomorrow. Do you think Cloud will talk to me if I tell him that?"

"I don't know. Maybe give him a bit of time to cool off first."

***

The practice dummy's arm came sailing off and landed in a heap in the corner of the room. Zack was suddenly extremely grateful that he had set Cloud on the dummies, rather than sparring with him himself. An enraged Cloud that had been finally pushed over the edge was a bit frightening.

"You know, he pretty much told me I was his property and not to talk to anyone else. What. The. Fuck?" Cloud was taking chips out of the dummy with each strike. Zack hadn't thought the practice swords were that sharp. "And then he acted all innocent like he had no fucking clue what was wrong with that!"

"Spread your feet a little further. Lower your weight." Zack figured it was best to just let Cloud rant for a while. They could talk for real later. For now, he just focused on not letting Cloud get carried away and hurt himself.

"Wilson was _afraid_ to apologize to me. You should have seen him! It was like he thought I'd scream rape and Sephiroth would come barging in and chop his head off without a second thought. How am I supposed to live when everyone's afraid to even sneeze around me? The worst part is that Sephiroth probably _would_ have killed him without even trying to find out what was going on."

Zack discreetly checked his PHS; fifteen missed calls, all from Sephiroth. He sighed; Sephiroth could sit and stew a while. Maybe he'd realize just how badly he had fucked up if he had to worry for a while. He had been really busy with Sephiroth refusing to go on missions for the last week, so he hadn't known how bad it had gotten or he would have told him to back off a long time ago.

Finally, Cloud dropped his sword and collapsed on the mat. Zack ran over and hauled him up. "Come on, let's go home," he said. He tossed the practice sword in the general direction of the sword racks on their way out.

***

"Go sit in the living room, I'll be right there." Zack gave Cloud a gentle shove before detouring into the kitchen to grab a couple beers. When he got into the living room, Cloud was curled up on the couch holding Mini-Cloud. Silent tears were running down his cheeks and Zack quickly set the drinks on the table and pulled Cloud into a hug.

"Shh, it's okay, man. Don't cry."

"I'm scared!" Cloud burst out. "I love him so much, but I can't keep going like this!"

"Hey, hey, calm down. It's just a fight. You'll work it out."

"But what if we can't? What if he tells me that's the way it is and if I don't like it, get out? What if I overreacted?"

Zack squeezed Cloud a little tighter. "First of all, you didn't overreact. I'd say you were the definition of patience to hold out for as long as you did. Second, he's not going to say that. I guarantee it. And third, you can. It's your first fight, so it's scary, but you're going to work it out. This isn't something that has to ruin your relationship. And then you can learn all about how make-up sex is the best part of fighting." He ruffled Cloud's hair a bit as he said that.

"But we haven't even had regular sex yet! At least, not since…"

"You haven't? But I thought you said you did?"

"No, that's just what you chose to believe when I said our clothes had come off. There _are_ other things you can do when you're naked."

"Huh, fancy that. Well, regardless, you can have make-up whatever you do when you're naked together."

"But what if—"

"Nope, no more what ifs. Cloud, this wasn't your fault. Usually fights are caused by both people involved, but you did _nothing_ wrong here. You've told Sephiroth what the problem was, and while he may not get it, but he _will_ fix it. I'll talk to him too, and maybe you should try talking to him again tomorrow or the next day after you've calmed down. For now, there's nothing more you can do, so drink your beer and get some rest. Okay? I promise it won't seem so bad in the morning."

Cloud nodded his head sadly and sipped at his beer. After nursing it silently for a while, he set it back on the table and padded off to his room. Zack pulled out his PHS and listened to the five voicemails that had been left. He deleted them all and sent a quick mail to Sephiroth.

 _You fucked up. Big time. Don't try to talk to Cloud yet. I'll talk to you in the morning and you'd better be prepared to fix this._

***

Sephiroth sat in his plush office chair, behind his elegant mahogany desk, and felt like he had just crawled his way up from the sewers. He read Zack's message again then slammed the PHS down on the desk in frustration. He didn't understand what he had done that was so terrible! People always knew what he was doing. Researchers and scientists had followed him around since he was a small child. He didn't know why Cloud was so upset about being protected. At least there was a good reason for it!

The office door swung open with a bang and a very tired-looking Zack came in.

"You!" He pointed menacingly at Sephiroth. "You are a _fucking idiot!_ Do you have an explanation for this? Some sort of excuse? Anything other than 'I was protecting him'? Because that's not good enough."

"I _was_ protecting him! Why does nobody understand that?"

"No, Sephiroth, you were scaring him. Why don't _you_ understand that?"

"I was scaring him?"

Zack sighed and flopped down in one of the guest chairs. "Yes, you were scaring him. Do you know why?"

Sephiroth solemnly shook his head. He hadn't even realized; he couldn't think of what he had done that would have _scared_ him.

"All right, I'll try to explain. Cloud is a loner, he's never had many friends, you know that. So he's used to being alone. Living in the barracks was insanely difficult for him; he had no privacy and he _hated_ it. Living with me is a lot better; he's got his own room where he can go to be on his own and I make sure to give him space when he needs it. He's not good at communicating verbally when he needs to be left alone; I think he's afraid I'll be mad at him, so that's something I need to watch for. When he gets quiet and starts giving me monosyllabic answers I know that he needs some space. He also tells me with his body language by wrapping his arms around himself and turning away. Do you follow so far?"

"I… think so." He had had no idea Zack noticed so much about people.

"Good. So, what you didn't realize during your little _campaign_ to keep Cloud safe, was that he was giving you all those signals. Now, before you start going on about how he should have just told you, he shouldn't have needed to. Following someone everywhere they go and completely invading their privacy is a bit different from bugging them to watch a movie with you. So, you're just going to accept that you shouldn't have done that and stop. Immediately. Okay?"

"Okay…" Sephiroth was reluctant, but when Zack started giving him orders like that, it was usually the only way to fix things. "But I still need to make sure he's safe."

"So you're going to go talk to the director. He caved days ago, by the way, you just wouldn't talk to him. We'll deal with that later; however, first you need to really understand why Cloud got so scared, or else I'm certain you'll do it again."

"I'm glad you have faith in me."

Zack shrugged. "What can I say? I believe in your ability to fail. But I like the two of you too much to let you do that, so pay attention. In short, you didn't listen when he said 'no'."

"But I always do!" Sephiroth was indignant. He was _always_ careful to stop whenever Cloud said to.

"That's true, you always do… in bed. The 'no means no' thing translates to other, non-sexual aspects of a relationship as well. When you didn't pick up on the signals he was sending, that he didn't want you stalking him, you frightened him. It was just as if you hadn't stopped when he said no in bed. It's the same violation of his trust. Do you get it?" Zack asked kindly.

Sephiroth recoiled in horror at the implications of what Zack had just said. "I violated his trust? Can I even fix that?"

"Yeah, you can. Cloud doesn't want to lose you; if you're willing to admit that you made a mistake and _don't do it again_ , he'll forgive you."

***

Cloud paced the hallway outside Sephiroth's apartment door. Zack had told him about his conversation with Sephiroth the day before; it seemed like he truly was sorry. And that he had agreed to stop following him everywhere. He had told James today during drill and his new friend had been thoroughly relieved at the news. This morning, he had asked Zack to tell Sephiroth that he'd come by his apartment in the evening so they could talk. He was feeling a lot calmer now. Hopefully, now that it had been explained, he'd be able to say his piece without getting frustrated and resorting to shouting. Because that didn't seem to work at all.

He just had to go knock on the door. That was all. So why was it so hard? Cloud sighed. He knew why. It was because of what had slipped out when he was crying on Zack's shoulder the other night. He said he loved Sephiroth and he had known, as soon as he said it, that it was true. But what was he supposed to do with that knowledge? What if he told Sephiroth and he didn't feel the same way? He didn't think he could cope with that. He leaned against the wall opposite the door and slid down it, crouching and holding his head in his hands. This was too complicated.

He heard the click of the doorknob and scrambled to his feet.

"Cloud? Are you okay?" Sephiroth cautiously poked his head out and asked quietly.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Do you want to be left alone? I could hear you pacing out here for the past while and I got a bit impatient, but I can wait."

"No, it's okay. I was just nervous. Now I don't have to knock. That's always the hardest part." Cloud brushed himself off and took a step towards the door.

Sephiroth nodded. "Come in, then." He opened the door wide and stepped aside.

Cloud entered the spacious apartment and gravitated towards his favourite spot on the couch. Sephiroth sat in a chair opposite him and fiddled with the ends of his hair. They sat quietly for a few minutes as they both struggled to find the right words. Cloud shifted uncomfortably as time seemed to drag on. Was he supposed to start? That didn't really seem right; he wanted to hear an actual apology from Sephiroth first, before he started doling out forgiveness. The sound of the clock on the wall ticking seemed to be getting louder as he waited.

"I'm sorry," Sephiroth finally said. "I really am. I'll admit that I still don't understand _why_ it was a problem, but I do accept that it _was_ , and I'll stop. I promise. I talked to Director Lazard yesterday; they're going to implement stricter punishments for bullying and it's not going to be overlooked by the officers anymore."

Cloud nodded slowly. That was okay, even if he didn't know why it had been so upsetting, he was at least accepting Cloud's feelings.

"And I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. I _do_ understand why that scared you and I swear, I didn't mean to."

"I know you didn't mean to. Zack told me that you really didn't know; I should have been more clear."

Sephiroth shook his head. "No, it was my fault. I can read an opponent's body language in battle; I should be able to read yours. I'll work on it, I promise. But, if I ever do something like that again, please just tell me. I won't get mad. I don't want to hurt you again."

"Okay." Cloud allowed himself a small smile. "I'll tell you."

"May I come sit on the couch with you?" Sephiroth asked. Cloud nodded and he moved over to sit next to him and draped his arm cautiously across his shoulders. Cloud took pity on him and pulled him in for a hug.

"It's okay, I forgive you."

"Really? We're all right?"

"Yeah, we're all right." Cloud laughed a little. "We survived our first fight."

"I suppose some sort of celebration is an order."

"Oh?" Cloud asked innocently as he scooted a little bit closer to Sephiroth, "What did you have in mind?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oooh! Can you handle the suspense??? Sorry. I'll be quiet now.


	21. Chapter 21

Sephiroth's belt fell to the floor with a clatter as Cloud got the last buckle undone. Their clothes were quickly being scattered across the apartment as Sephiroth tried to direct Cloud towards the bedroom, but kept getting distracted. He banged his shin on the corner of the coffee table and cursed softly. Grabbing Cloud by the hips, he swiftly hoisted him up and Cloud let out a surprised squeak before wrapping his legs around his waist.

"Do you want to go to the bedroom?" Sephiroth asked.

"Yes, please," Cloud whispered breathlessly as his fingers found Sephiroth's nipples and proceeded to twist and pinch.

Sephiroth groaned and pulled on Cloud's hips to get some friction. "I want to taste you, Cloud. Can I? I'll make you feel so good." He was spewing whatever crossed his mind as he made his way towards his room.

Cloud was busily attacking his neck with tiny bites that made Sephiroth's cock twitch and didn't really respond. That was okay; Sephiroth swore to himself he'd remember to go slowly this time and give Cloud lots of warning. He lowered him gently onto the bed and Cloud kept his legs wrapped around his waist. He was using his them to rhythmically pull Sephiroth's weight down into his crotch and Sephiroth began rolling his hips in unison. He could feel Cloud's bulge straining against his pants and wanted desperately to see it again.

He sat up, pulling away from Cloud's tempting mouth and ran his hand down his bare chest. He used his other hand to stroke Cloud's thigh and hip, squeezing gently. He traced a finger across his abs that were becoming even more well defined and dipped it into his belly button. Cloud arched his back up into his touch. Sephiroth moved his finger further down and traced along the waistband of Cloud's pants before rubbing a circle over the button with his thumb.

"Can I?" he asked again.

Cloud looked up into his eyes and Sephiroth's heart leapt at the trusting look he gave him. "Yes," he said firmly.

Sephiroth deftly worked the button and eased the pants down over Cloud's hips and tossed them onto the floor. He left his boxers on for now and lay himself down on his side next to Cloud.

"You still okay?"

Cloud shook his head and frowned. "No, your pants are still on. I'm always the one who ends up naked while you keep your clothes. That's not fair."

"Hmm..." Sephiroth smirked. "Do you want to fix that?"

"Yep, I'll just go grab my pants." Cloud made to push himself up and Sephiroth practically tackled him to keep him there.

"Hey! That is _not_ what I meant."

Cloud giggled and squirmed under him. He felt hands fumbling at the fastenings of his pants.

"Is _this_ what you meant?" Cloud asked. "You want these off?"

"Yes," Sephiroth said. "No! I mean, wait! Um, shit."

"What's wrong?" Cloud pulled his hands back immediately.

"Nothing's wrong, it's just, I'm not wearing underwear. I never do with the leather pants. It's too uncomfortable."

"You go commando in your battle uniform?" Cloud sounded slightly intrigued.

"Don't tell the Silver Elite; they'd have a field day."

"I think I like being the only one who knows that little secret, so don't worry. But why don't you want me to take them off?"

"I do," Sephiroth was quick to reassure him. "I wasn't sure if you'd be okay with that. I didn't want to surprise you."

"I'm okay, but thanks for the warning. So you really _do_ want these off?" Now it was Cloud's turn to smirk teasingly. He toyed with the fastenings, but didn't undo them.

"Yes," Sephiroth groaned and rolled his hips downwards. "Please."

"Well… since you asked so nicely." Cloud unbuckled his pants and carefully pulled the zipper down. He pushed them down and Sephiroth moaned with relief as the pressure on his swelled cock lessened. Cloud's gaze at his exposed erection was no less awe-filled than it had been the first time he had seen it. "Can I touch it?" Cloud sounded hopeful and almost pleading.

Sephiroth nodded and rolled onto his back, spreading his legs slightly to give Cloud room to explore. Cloud stretched out beside him and reached out a cautious hand. The first, feather-light touch caused Sephiroth's hips to jerk and Cloud immediately pulled back.

"Sorry," Sephiroth said, "I'll stay as still as I can. You go ahead." He reached up and stroked Cloud's hair; that had seemed to calm his nerves in the past.

Cloud nodded and extended his hand again. He ran his fingers lightly down Sephiroth's shaft and Sephiroth struggled not to move. His touch was too light to do more than tickle, but he was determined to let Cloud go at his own pace. Cloud's touches grew more confident as he wrapped his hand around Sephiroth's cock and squeezed gently. Sephiroth saw him glance up; eyes searching for reassurance and Sephiroth nodded.

"You're doing great," he said. "Just do whatever you feel comfortable with. Okay?"

"Okay," Cloud said quietly, "I can do that."

Sephiroth kept a hand on Cloud's head as he continued to explore. He twisted his fingers through his hair while Cloud rubbed his thumb over his slit, spreading the few drops of pre-come around. It became easier to hold still as Cloud began applying the sort of pressure he needed. Cloud sat up a little and began fondling his balls as well and Sephiroth had to bite back a moan.

"Is it okay?" Cloud asked.

"Feels good, Cloud. Can you… squeeze and tug on them a little? Gently?"

Cloud obliged. "Like that?"

"Just like that. That's good."

"Do you have any more of that lube?"

"Yeah, let me grab it." Sephiroth rolled onto his side and rummaged through his bedside table drawer, feeling a little more flustered than he usually did when he was looking for it. He eventually found it and rolled back. "Here."

"Thanks." Cloud popped the cap and squeezed some out onto his palm. He spread it around using both hands and it was nice and warm when Cloud gripped his erection once again. The warm, slick sensation caused him to groan and buck his hips, trying to get more friction.

Cloud's confidence in his touches seemed to increase and he soon developed a pace that had Sephiroth moaning in pleasure. His small hand felt perfect sliding up and down his cock. He could feel Cloud's erection pressing into his side and he was thrusting minutely. He felt Cloud's slick right hand sliding up the inside of his thigh and he bent his knees and spread his legs a bit further.

"You can touch me, like you do yourself, if you want," Sephiroth said breathlessly.

The hand stopped.

"I can? You mean…?" Cloud sounded shocked and eager at the same time.

"Yes, I like it too."

"I didn't think you would. It, I don't know, doesn't seem…" Cloud blushed and ducked his head in embarrassment.

"You don't have to, but I _do_ enjoy it." Sephiroth sighed quietly; he had hoped that Cloud wouldn't feel that way. Far too many people believed that he was somehow above any sort of anal penetration. He really did like bottoming every once in a while even if it wasn't his usual position. Maybe Cloud just needed a bit more time to get used to the idea.

"Are you sure?" Cloud suddenly broke into his thoughts. He nodded eagerly, and Cloud smiled. "Okay."

Cloud's hand continued on its path up to the flesh of his ass and slid between his cheeks. A finger rubbed across his entrance and Sephiroth hissed, raising his hips slightly to give better access. Cloud's other hand was still working his cock at a steady pace. The pressure increased and he felt Cloud's finger slide smoothly in.

"Nng… Cloud, fuck, that feels so good."

Cloud thrust slowly and curled his finger slightly, looking for the spot that would make it feel even better. He brushed over it and Sephiroth gasped.

"There?" Cloud asked.

"Y—yeah, that's it. Another finger… please." He could feel his climax building as Cloud added a second, then a third finger and sped up his strokes.

One glance at the look on Cloud's face was enough to push him over the edge. Wave after wave of pleasure crashed over him and Sephiroth cried out, thrusting hard into Cloud's hand. He gasped for breath as his orgasm seemed to drag out. Muscles clenched and come splashed over Cloud's hand and down onto his stomach and chest. The waves of pleasure finally ebbed and Sephiroth reached up to pull Cloud in for a kiss.

"That was amazing, Cloud," Sephiroth mumbled around Cloud's eager lips. He grasped him around the waist and carefully rolled him onto his back. "Your turn. Can I take these off?" he asked between kisses while fingering the waistband of Cloud's boxers.

"Go ahead." Cloud lifted his hips to allow Sephiroth to slide the boxers down his legs. They joined the rest of their clothes on the floor and Sephiroth began kissing his way down Cloud's chest. He squeezed Cloud's inner thigh and tickled the soft skin. He looked up into Cloud's eyes; he wanted to make absolutely sure that Cloud knew he was going to touch him.

Cloud nodded once and Sephiroth looked down, taking in the sight of Cloud's erection. It was absolutely beautiful. He wrapped his hand around the hardened flesh and smiled as Cloud moaned with need and want, not fear. He grazed his thumb down the underside, along the large vein and cupped Cloud's balls in his other hand.

"Does that feel good?" he asked.

"Yeah. Please, more."

"Can I taste you?" Sephiroth kissed and a little further down his stomach to give him a clearer idea of what he wanted to do. He stroked gently as he spoke and Cloud was responding wonderfully.

"What do you mean?" Cloud's voice was suddenly full of tension and Sephiroth kept stroking, though he kept his head where it was instead of continuing down.

"I want to give you a blowjob," he clarified. "Is that okay?"

Cloud hesitated and Sephiroth reached for his hand and held it gently. He spoke again, "You can say no, remember that; you won't hurt my feelings."

Cloud squeezed his hand back. "I remember. I—I think it would be okay."

"Tell me if you want me to stop. Or even if you just want to slow down. I don't necessarily have to stop entirely if you're uncomfortable with the blowjob." He looked Cloud straight in the eye as he said that. Sephiroth needed to be _certain_ that Cloud knew he wouldn't be left hanging if he said no.

"Okay." Cloud spoke a bit more steadily this time and the look on his face was his nervous expression, but it wasn't fearful.

"Okay," Sephiroth agreed. He shifted himself so he was between Cloud's legs and raised each one in turn, bending them slightly. He kept constant contact with Cloud's body; running his palms over his legs, chest, stomach and arms in what he hoped was a soothing manner. Cloud's breathing relaxed and Sephiroth kissed one of his knees, then began working his way up his inner thigh. He kissed, licked and nipped gently at the soft flesh while he kept one hand on Cloud's chest, teasing his nipples. He could feel Cloud's heart beating rapidly beneath his ribs and he was breathing in shallow gasps.

"Relax," he murmured.

"Can't," was Cloud's only reply.

"Sure you can. Just focus on the sensations; don't think too much." Sephiroth took Cloud's erection in hand again and stroked a few times. "Deep breaths, that's it."

Cloud shut his eyes and inhaled and exhaled slowly several times. Sephiroth lowered his head and kissed the head of Cloud's cock. He looked up again and saw that Cloud's eyes were open wide, staring at Sephiroth. He smiled and darted his tongue out, licking the drop of pre-come off his upper lip. "Still doing okay?" he asked.

Cloud nodded. "Uh huh."

"Good." Sephiroth took Cloud's hand with his right and used the other to hold his cock steady as he lowered his head once again. He kissed the tip several more times before flicking it with his tongue. Cloud's grip on his hand tightened as he dipped his tongue into the slit, lapping up the drops of pre-come that were gathering.

He rubbed his thumb across Cloud's knuckles and dragged his tongue down the length of his shaft and back up before taking the head between his lips. He sucked gently and swirled his tongue around before letting go with a small popping noise. Every tiny gasp and moan Cloud was making at this point was turning him on. He wanted to hear more of that, and he wanted to hear it louder.

Sephiroth opened his mouth and lowered it onto Cloud's cock. Relaxing his throat muscles, he swallowed until his nose was buried in the thin patch of hair. Cloud cried out loudly and Sephiroth had a hard time not grinning with his mouth full. That was what he wanted to hear. He applied some gentle suction and bobbed his head steadily and Cloud spasmodically clenched and released his hand. He alternated between dedicated sucking and using his tongue to tease at the head. Cloud was soon writhing beneath him and moaning loudly. He wasn't going to last much longer.

He pulled back again and Cloud protested weakly at the loss of contact. He held Cloud's cock steady again and blew softly. Cloud's hips bucked at the strange sensation of cool air blowing across his wet cock. Sephiroth swallowed him again in one smooth motion and began bobbing his head faster, increasing the suction a bit as well.

"Sephiroth! I—I'm going to—"

Sephiroth kept going, urging Cloud's oncoming climax.

"Se—Seph! I can't! Please, I'm going to come!" Cloud's voice sounded a bit panicky and Sephiroth understood; Cloud was giving him the chance to pull away.

He squeezed Cloud's hand and stopped long enough to say, "Come for me, Cloud." He swallowed hard and Cloud's hips jerked. Hot liquid spurted against the back of his throat and Sephiroth continued swallowing, milking his cock while listening appreciatively to Cloud's cries of ecstasy. He finally allowed the softening member to slip from between his lips and lapped up a few drops of come that he hadn't swallowed.

"You taste so good, Cloud."

Cloud's face was bright red and he looked away from Sephiroth's gaze. "I can't believe you did that," he whispered.

"You can't believe I did what?" Sephiroth pulled himself up to lie next to Cloud and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close.

"You—I— _I came!_ Wasn't it—I dunno, I didn't think you'd—" Cloud was badly flustered and shaking a little, but he was clinging to Sephiroth, so it didn't seem like he wanted to get away.

"Cloud, calm down." Sephiroth held him tightly and stroked his hair. "Are you upset because I swallowed?"

"I—I'm not upset, I just…"

"You didn't expect that?"

Cloud nodded.

Sephiroth kissed the top of Cloud's head. "I'm sorry, I didn't even think that that might be a problem; it's something I enjoy doing."

"You—you like it? Isn't it, I dunno, hu—embarrassing or something?"

"I don't think it's embarrassing. I know some people don't like the taste, so they choose not to swallow, but I like it. Especially you. You're delicious." Sephiroth tried to lighten the mood again.

"I don't kn—know that I could do that. I'm sorry, I know I should, but—"

"Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean, you should? Cloud, there is nothing that you _should_ do when it comes to sex. And nothing that you _have_ to do, either. There are only things you _want_ to do. I thought you knew that." Sephiroth really wanted to know where this was suddenly coming from.

"I know, but you gave me a blowjob, so I should—"

"No!" Sephiroth interrupted. "I didn't do that because I was expecting the same in return. Cloud, you don't _owe_ me—" Sephiroth suddenly stilled as it dawned on him. Cloud had been going to ask if it was 'humiliating' when he interrupted himself and said 'embarrassing' instead. Being forced to give a blowjob had probably been his first sexual experience. It must have been humiliating for him. He couldn't believe he hadn't taken that into consideration.

"Cloud, listen to me," Sephiroth spoke firmly, "You are _not_ obligated to do _anything_. I'm sorry; I didn't even think that a blowjob might be upsetting for you. Was that why you hesitated when I asked?"

"A little, but—but I wanted to know what it was like. I'm sorry."

"No, Cloud, that's okay. It's understandable that you were curious. Did you like it?"

Cloud blushed and ducked his head. "Yeah, it felt… really good."

"Good, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Look, I know you're probably feeling pretty confused right now and it's late. I'm tired and you look exhausted; but I think we can both agree that tonight's activities were extremely satisfying. Why don't we just go to bed for now, and we can talk about it some more in the morning. Does that sound good?"

"Yeah, that'd be good."

"'Kay, I'm going to go wash up. I'll be right back." Sephiroth walked over to the bathroom, shut the door behind him and let out a heavy sigh. How could he have forgotten something so important? Cloud had been absolutely humiliated that day and he hadn't even considered that the same act might bring back painful memories. He wiped his dried come off himself with a damp towel as he pondered what to do. It didn't matter if Cloud could never bring himself to reciprocate; Sephiroth just had to make that clear somehow. He sighed again and tossed the towel in the hamper; he would figure it out in the morning.

He padded back out into the bedroom, Cloud looked nearly asleep and Sephiroth quietly shut off the lamp. He didn't need it to see anyway. Since Cloud was still naked, he decided to forgo sleep pants and crawled into bed beside him. He pulled the blanket up and tucked it around both of them. Cloud curled up in his arms and Sephiroth found himself loving the way his smaller frame fit perfectly in his embrace.

"Sleep well," he whispered in Cloud's ear.

***

There was noise everywhere. Loud, banging noises and painful, screeching noises. It rang through his ears and rattled his teeth. He could feel the floor vibrating with the sheer volume of it. Searing pain was flashing across his back again and again. He had no clothes on and he was lying on a cold concrete floor. Cloud opened his eyes and was met with blinding lights. A dark shape loomed in front of him. "Do you like that?" a loud, mocking voice rang in his ears. "He likes watching it." The shape gestured at another, blurrier shape behind him. Cloud curled into a ball and tried to call Sephiroth's name, but no sound came out. All he could hear now was laughter.

Suddenly, he had moved and was falling face-first, downwards into blackness. Laughter echoed all around him and his face slammed into something warm and soft. Something grabbed his hair and pulled him back. "Suck," a voice hissed in his ear, "Make him hard."

No! NO! Cloud tried to scream. He didn't want this, this wasn't happening!

Some of the laughter echoed closer and turned into a voice. "My girlfriend's not putting out," it said. "Get on your knees, whore."

A loud scream broke through the laughter, echoing louder and louder and Cloud covered his ears to try and block it out.

"Cloud. Cloud." He knew that voice. That was a kind voice. He uncovered his ears to search for the source of it, but the screaming was so loud.

"Where are you?" he managed to whisper. Oddly enough, his whisper stopped the screaming. Had that been him?

"I'm right here, Cloud. I've got you." The kind voice sounded much closer now and he could hear a soft thumping noise. "Are you awake?"

Awake? Had he been sleeping? Awareness slowly returned to his mind and Cloud took in his surroundings. He was in a bed, being held gently, and the side of his face was pressed against something warm. A chest. That was the source of the thumping noise: someone's heartbeat.

"Sephiroth?"

"I'm right here, Cloud. It's okay."

It was Sephiroth's heartbeat. Sephiroth was holding him. Sephiroth was keeping him safe. Cloud clung to him as the terror and confusion of the nightmare slowly faded away.

"Sephiroth," he said again, as if that would keep him from disappearing into the night. He didn't want him to leave. Not ever. He needed him here.

"Shh, I'm here. I've got you. You're safe." Comforting hands were rubbing his back and stroking his hair. Gentle fingers brushed away tears he hadn't realized he had shed. He breathed deeply and felt the tension start to bleed from his body as the feeling of being safely wrapped in the warmth of Sephiroth's body washed over him. His eyes shut once again as he drifted back into sleep.


	22. Chapter 22

Sephiroth stayed awake the rest of the night, holding Cloud and hoping he wouldn't have another nightmare. There were a couple other times when he began moving restlessly and whimpering quietly, but Sephiroth was quick to calm him before he started screaming again. He felt tremendously guilty; he was sure that his actions had been the cause of the nightmares. And yet, a small part of him also felt a tremendous amount of pride. Cloud had calmed down when he realized that Sephiroth was with him. Cloud felt safe with him. That meant the world to Sephiroth.

He would make it right in the morning. He would make sure that Cloud understood that Sephiroth wasn't expecting anything from him. Though, he _did_ hope that Cloud would continue to be willing to receive oral sex, and that he wouldn't feel guilty for not reciprocating. That was the last thing Sephiroth wanted.

Sephiroth continued hovering over Cloud, feeling very much like his lover's guardian, keeping the nightmares at bay, until the rays of sunlight had crept across the room and Cloud finally stirred.

"Good morning, Cloud." Sephiroth brushed some errant strands of hair out of Cloud's eyes and kissed his forehead.

"Morning," Cloud replied sleepily. "What time is it?"

"Almost eight-thirty."

"Sorry about last night."

"What are you sorry for? You didn't do anything wrong."

"I kept you up. I should've just gone home."

"No, Cloud, you didn't keep me up."

"Liar."

"Okay, I did stay awake to keep an eye on you, but that doesn't mean I didn't want you here. And it doesn't mean you should be sorry."

"But you need to sleep," Cloud protested.

"It's the weekend, it's no big deal. I like taking care of my boyfriend. Makes me feel all manly."

"Like you're not manly enough."

"Mmm, good point. I'm already pretty much the epitome of manliness." Sephiroth hesitated momentarily before continuing, "Cloud, we need to talk."

"What about?"

"Last night."

Cloud curled himself into a ball and clutched at the blankets. "Do we have to?"

"Yes, I think we do. Please? I don't think this is something we can just ignore. I mean, I gave you nightmares, I don't want to do that again."

"It wasn't your fault."

"Now who's the liar?" Sephiroth asked quietly. "Cloud, I need to know what exactly it was that upset you. Am I right in thinking that it wasn't so much the blowjob itself, but the fact that you thought you would have to give me one in return?"

"Yeah." Sephiroth could barely hear Cloud's whispered answer. "I'm sorry."

"Shush, don't be sorry. Am I also right in thinking that you think oral sex is degrading or humiliating for the giver?"

"I know it's not supposed to be, but…"

"That's okay, I understand." Sephiroth pulled the ball of Cloud closer to him. It was difficult to hold him when he was curled up like that, but he managed to find a comfortable position that allowed him to keep as much contact as possible. "Do you still not believe that I wasn't expecting anything in return?"

"No, I believe you, it just doesn't seem right that you should do that and I don't do the same for you."

"But I _did_ get something in return. You gave me a fantastic handjob. I know it's not the exact same thing, but sex doesn't have to be like that. You made me feel really good; isn't that enough?"

"Is it?"

"I think so. Look at me, Cloud." Sephiroth took Cloud by the chin and tilted his reluctant head upwards so he could see his face. "Cloud, you were forced to give me a blowjob while complete strangers watched. Even I was pretty much a complete stranger at the time. You knew my name, but that was about it. That must have been terrifying and humiliating for you; it's no wonder that you're not comfortable with the thought of doing it again."

"But it's different now, I know that."

"Yes, it is different now. And maybe one day you'll be willing to try it again, but if you're never comfortable with it, I need you to know that that's okay. If you were forcing yourself to do something you didn't want to do, that would ruin it for me. There's no way I could enjoy myself, so neither one of us would be having fun. And isn't that the point of sex? For both of us to enjoy it?"

Cloud sighed heavily. "Yeah. You're really okay if I never can?"

"I really am, I promise. Which brings me to my next question. I enjoy giving oral sex. I get off on giving it just as much as I do receiving, and you said last night that you liked it. Would it be still be okay if I blow you sometimes?"

Cloud covered his face with his hands and gave a pained sounding laugh. "This has got to be the weirdest morning-after conversation ever. I can't believe we're actually talking about this!"

"We need to work this stuff out!" Sephiroth protested. "How else am I supposed to know what I can and can't do?"

"I know, I know, it's just weird. And a bit embarrassing. And you're so _crude!_ But, um, yeah, I think it would be okay."

"You won't feel guilty? Because I don't want that."

"I'll try really hard not to." Cloud still had his face covered.

"And can I swallow?"

"Sephiroth!" Cloud squeaked his name and covered his head with a pillow.

"You need to tell me…" Sephiroth sang teasingly. It was fun how embarrassed Cloud could get over simple things. "Come on, tell me!" He tickled Cloud's sides and heard something muffled from under the pillow. "What was that? I couldn't make it out."

"I said, yes!" Cloud pulled the pillow off of his head and threw it at Sephiroth, who interrupted his tickling to dodge.

"Ha! Never throw your weapon at the enemy. Now you're unarmed." He tackled Cloud and began tickling in earnest. Cloud shrieked and laughed, not trying very hard to get away. It didn't take long before both of them lay gasping, sprawled out on the bed. Cloud looked significantly more worn out than Sephiroth, however.

Cloud's stomach rumbled loudly and Sephiroth laughed. "Come on, I'll find us something to wear and make breakfast."

He lightly smacked Cloud on the ass, rolled out of bed, pulled on a pair of sweats, and started rummaging through his drawers, looking for sweats that were small enough to fit Cloud. They hadn't exactly planned this sleepover. Maybe he could set aside a drawer for some of Cloud's things. He found a pair that had potential and tossed them to the bed where Cloud was sitting up, looking frazzled.

"Give these a try," he said, "You'll probably have to cinch up the waist, but I think they're the smallest I've got."

"Thanks." Cloud pulled on the pants and laughed when his feet didn't even come close to the bottoms of the legs. "You know, you're really too tall."

"No way, _someone_ has to be able to reach the top shelf."

"Hey! I can reach it!"

"With _out_ a stool?"

"You're such a jerk!" Cloud laughed and threw another pillow across the room at him.

***

"What were you planning on doing today?" Cloud asked as he shovelled yet another pancake into his mouth. Sephiroth made _amazing_ pancakes, and he looked really hot doing it in just a pair of sweats. He had made Cloud sit on the counter in the kitchen while he cooked and refused any help. So Cloud had taken to teasing and snapping the waistband on Sephiroth's pants whenever he got close enough.

"Well, I was thinking that the SOLDIER exams are going to be coming up pretty soon; so if you want some help studying, we could maybe do that."

"You'd help me study? Isn't that favouritism?"

"No!" Sephiroth sounded a little indignant. "It's not like I'd tell you what's going to be on the test. But we can go through old tests together and I can quiz you. Like when people study with their friends, only I actually know the answers so we don't have to waste time looking them up."

"You wouldn't mind doing that with me?" Cloud could have kicked himself when he asked that. General Sephiroth was offering to help him study and he was giving him a chance to back out?

"Of course not, that's what boyfriends do, isn't it? I want you in SOLDIER. I want to go on missions with you, as partners."

"I want that too. You know, I used to have all these big dreams that I'd meet you and we'd become friends and go on missions together. I never actually thought it would happen, though. I never even dreamed that we might be boyfriends. That was a little too big, even for a dream."

"You really hoped for those things?"

"Well sure, I think everyone who wants to be a SOLDIER does at some point. You _are_ SOLDIER. You're who everyone wants to be. I was just lucky enough that I got to meet the real you." Cloud couldn't believe he was actually saying that; he had sworn to himself that he'd never tell Sephiroth how he used to idolize him. But then Sephiroth had said he wanted to go on missions with him! It was his dream from way back then come true. He had to get them back on topic before he said something truly embarrassing. "But, uh, yeah, it'd be great if you could help me study."

Sephiroth nodded and spoke around a mouthful of pancake. "Sure thing."

***

Cloud stared in horror at the pile of old tests that Sephiroth brought out. There were so many! He grabbed one at random and began flipping through it. Questions on tactics, materia, first aid, sword care, history, and many, many other topics assaulted his eyes. He gave a pained sigh; he'd never be able to do this!

"Hey, no peeking at the tests," Sephiroth chided and snatched the paper away. "Come sit with me on the couch."

"Yes, teacher." Cloud duly went and sat down next to Sephiroth, who, for some reason, was wearing a lot of layers. He wasn't even going to bother asking. While it was good they were doing this, there were probably a million other things they could do on a Saturday that would be way more interesting.

"Don't worry, we'll make it fun. And we'll start out easy, okay?"

"Sure."

"Mmm'kay, first question. What did Shin-Ra start out as?"

"A weapons manufacturer."

"Correct." Sephiroth pulled one of his shirts over his head and tossed it on the floor.

Cloud stared. "Are we playing 'Strip Study' or something?"

"You catch on quickly; I think you might have a chance of winning this game. Next question. "What's the standard procedure for treating a gunshot wound in the field?"

The game went on for several hours; the questions kept getting more difficult and Sephiroth would put an article of clothing back on every time he got one wrong. But then he would explain the correct answer as many times as it took, and rewarded Cloud with kisses when he understood. It was a great way to learn, Cloud decided. Eventually, Sephiroth was down to a single pair of underwear.

"If I get the next question right, you're gonna lose," Cloud teased.

"That's true, I'll have to come up with a really tough one to throw you off. I hate losing."

"Really? I thought you'd _want_ to lose this game."

"It is pretty tempting, but I don't know if I can overcome my competitive streak. Okay, last question. Why do you want to be in SOLDIER?"

"What? That's not a real exam question, is it?"

"It might be. Besides, I want to know. I know why you _wanted_ to join, but I think that reason might have changed."

"But there's no right or wrong answer to that!"

"Then I guess if you just give me an answer, you'll get it right and win."

Cloud sighed. "I hate questions like that. I should probably say I want to be a hero, like Zack. But the truth is, I don't. I want to protect people, sure. I'd like to be able to keep them safe from monsters. But I don't want to be somebody's hero. I don't want fan clubs like you guys have and I don't want my face on Shin-Ra's PR posters. Now, the main reason I want to join is so that I can be with you. I want to be able to stand by your side as an equal. Or at least closer to an equal than I am now."

"Hmm, that's a decent answer. Though if it _does_ get asked on the exam, I'd maybe go for the standard 'I want to be a hero' answer. The brass likes that one better."

"So does that mean I get your shorts?"

"Do you want them?" Sephiroth purred.

"Of course I do! I won! They're my prize!" Cloud grabbed at the waistband and attempted to pull them down.

"Don't I get a reward for helping you?"

"Hmm," Cloud paused mid-pull, "I suppose some sort of reward would be in order." He crawled closer to Sephiroth so he ended up straddling his lap. "What would you like?" Cloud was going for sexy, but he wasn't sure how well he could pull it off. He supposed the worst that could happen was that Sephiroth would laugh at his attempt. At least he was pretty sure that he wouldn't be mean about it.

"I can think of a few things." Sephiroth grabbed him by the ass and pulled him closer.

Cloud could feel his semi-hard cock through his pants and ground down onto it. "Things like that?" he whispered in Sephiroth's ear before taking his earlobe into his mouth and sucking on it.

Sephiroth groaned loudly. "Yeah, things like that." He wrapped his arms around Cloud's waist and held him close. "Pull my hair?" Sephiroth sounded very hesitant when he asked that.

Cloud grinned and ran his fingers across Sephiroth's scalp before twisting them through his hair and giving it a solid tug. He ground his hips down again at the same time; barely containing his own moan, although it was drowned out by Sephiroth's. Sephiroth's cock was fully erect now and it felt so good rubbing up against his own. He wanted to feel that without the clothes getting in the way. He gave Sephiroth's hair another pull then pushed back.

"Don't move," he ordered. Sephiroth blinked at him in surprise, but didn't move a muscle as Cloud stood up and smiled shyly at him. He ran his hands over his chest and toyed with the hem of his shirt before slowly pulling it up and over his head. He saw Sephiroth start to reach towards him and gave him a stern look. "I said, don't move," he reprimanded. "Hands behind your head."

"Hmm, I like it when you take charge." Sephiroth smirked and lazily folded his hands together behind his head. "Am I going to be punished if I disobey?"

Cloud balked; he hadn't thought that far ahead. Being sexy was a lot harder than he had hoped. Sephiroth clearly noticed his panicked look. "Forget about that, keep going," he said quickly. "I'll behave."

Cloud nodded and swallowed nervously, attempting to pick up where he had left off. But he had lost his rhythm and was feeling uncomfortably self-conscious. He could only stand there awkwardly while Sephiroth waited. The sudden urge to flee the room came over him and he took a tiny step backwards.

"Can I move?" Sephiroth asked, and Cloud nodded vigorously. Sephiroth sat forwards and pulled Cloud close to him so his face was level with his stomach. Cool hands ran across his back and a warm tongue traced downwards and dipped into his belly button. His knees trembled a bit as Sephiroth caressed his back and snuck a hand around to his front where he tugged carefully at the drawstring holding his pants up. "Was this what you wanted to do?"

"Mmm hmm."

Sephiroth pulled the strings loose and held them up. "Here you go," he said.

Cloud took them and smiled appreciatively as Sephiroth resumed his former position with his hands behind his head. He couldn't believe how something so simple could put him at ease again. He dropped the strings and hooked his thumbs into the waistband. Bashfully ducking his head, he slowly inched them downwards, past his hipbones until the faintest trace of hair was showing. Cloud was quite proud of the way his body was developing and appreciated Sephiroth's lustful demand for more as his toned lines came into view.

He turned around and pushed the pants down all the way, dragging them slowly over the curve of his ass. He kicked them aside and snuck a peek over his shoulder. Sephiroth appeared to be actually fighting with himself, trying not to move. He couldn't believe that _he_ was invoking such a reaction. He turned back around and knelt in front of Sephiroth, taking hold of his underwear and pulling them off in one swift movement. Sephiroth's erection sprang up and nearly hit him in the face. He hadn't meant to be that close!

Using Sephiroth's thighs for leverage, Cloud pulled himself up and onto his lap again. He positioned himself so their cocks were parallel with each other and reached one hand behind Sephiroth's head to grab another fistful of hair. Sephiroth shifted his hands so they were out of the way, but that was it. Cloud marvelled at his self-restraint. He brought his other hand down and attempted to wrap it around both of their erections. Unfortunately, their combined girth was a bit too big and he glanced up at Sephiroth.

"Want to help me out a little?" he asked. "You can move if you do."

"Gladly, but I think this will work better if we have lube."

Cloud groaned; he did _not_ want to get up again.

"Hold on to me." Sephiroth barely gave Cloud a chance to wrap his arms around his neck before he was picked up. They practically flew to the bedroom where Sephiroth grabbed the lube and had them back on the couch before Cloud had properly registered what was happening. Next thing he knew, Sephiroth was twisting their hands together to spread the lube around then directing his hand back down between their bodies. Cloud gasped as Sephiroth squeezed their cocks together. They began stroking in unison and Cloud found himself inadvertently pulling on his fistful of hair as he tried to contain his moans. He pulled Sephiroth's head towards him and kissed him deeply, wanting to taste as much of him as he could. Sephiroth let him take control of the kiss, pretty much letting his mouth be assaulted by Cloud's attack. He felt, rather than heard, Sephiroth's groan as they worked themselves together.

Cloud felt Sephiroth's free hand creep around behind him and squeeze his ass. It slowly moved between his cheeks and Sephiroth broke their kiss momentarily. "Can I?" he asked.

Cloud gave a cautious nod and felt a slight pressure before Sephiroth's long finger slid in. He gasped; Sephiroth was _inside_ him. It felt totally different from when he tried it himself. Maybe it was just the knowledge that it was someone else, or maybe it was because Sephiroth's fingers were longer and smoother. Either way, it felt amazing and Cloud felt his orgasm approaching. He was panting desperately as Sephiroth began thrusting with a purpose, hitting his pleasure spot every time. He clung to his fistful of silver hair in desperation and cried out as he was pushed over the edge. Spots swam in front of his eyes and he completely lost the rhythm he and Sephiroth had found. Just as it felt like he couldn't take anymore, Sephiroth pulled out and instead, held him close as he rode out the last waves of his climax.

When he had recovered enough to have regained his senses, he quickly turned his attention to Sephiroth's still-hard member.

***

Sephiroth returned to his office after the weekly board meeting, puzzled. He had spent most of it lost in his thoughts, thinking about Cloud and the great weekend they had spent together, but something was bothering him. Hojo had hardly even complained when he started refusing to go to the labs. He had only had to destroy the equipment in a few rooms before he stopped getting messages telling him his presence was required. And now Hojo wasn't even showing up at the board meetings. He _always_ went to the meetings, if only to keep the other departments from poaching his funding. Something was up, and Sephiroth wanted to know what it was. He didn't trust Hojo to just let Cloud's high mako tolerance go. He had been far too interested in it the day of the testing.

He hadn't forgotten about Cloud's unusually high tolerance, but he hadn't been able to find out anything more about it. When he tried looking for information on Nibelheim, all he got was that it was a small town at the base of Mt. Nibel, where one of the earliest reactors was located. There was no information at all on the reactor itself, which was puzzling. He usually had clearance to at least see the blueprints for reactors, in case there was a problem in one of them.

He drummed on his desk, thinking. The problem was that he just didn't have access to the information he needed. He pulled his PHS out of his pocket and dialled Tseng's number.

"Hi, Tseng, it's me. I need to ask you a favour."

"What is it?" Tseng asked.

"I'm worried about Hojo. He hasn't been showing up to the board meetings lately and he let me stop going to the labs without much of a fuss."

"You think he's up to something?"

"I'm sure of it, I've just got no idea what. I know he was interested in Cloud because of his high mako tolerance, but he hasn't done anything outright about it since then. And I can't access any of the files from Nibelheim."

"What does Nibelheim have to do with it?"

"It's where he's from and the doctors got really excited when they heard that. But I don't know why. There's a reactor there, but I can't access any of the information on it. It keeps saying I don't have the clearance."

"I can get around that. Have you asked Cloud about Nibelheim?"

"No, I don't want him to have to worry about that."

"All right, I understand. I'll put Rude and Reno on it and look into it myself. I'll let you know when I find anything."

"Thanks, Tseng. I really appreciate it."

"No problem. Oh, I need some muscle for an assignment with Rod and Cissnei. Can you spare anyone?"

"Sure, when do you need him?"

"Day after tomorrow, just for a few hours."

"You've got it, I'll get that sorted out now."

"Thanks. I'll talk to you later."

"Sounds good, bye."

Sephiroth breathed a sigh of relief as he hung up; he hadn't realized just how worried he had been about being in the dark. He had learned a long time ago to never assume he was safe when it came to Hojo. He was usually at his most dangerous when he appeared to be ignoring him.

Sephiroth had barely hung up when the door flew open and Zack burst into the room. A slight feeling of panic came over him, was Cloud upset with him again?

"You!" Zack shouted. "You are a roommate thief!"

"Excuse me?" Sephiroth blinked bewilderedly.

"You keep stealing my roommate! You kept him all weekend; I'm starving to death because he's never around to cook for me. I demand we work out a custody arrangement. You can have him on Fridays, Saturdays and whenever I'm away on a mission."

"Are you serious?"

"Of course I am, I miss his food."

"But I don't like that schedule."

"Why not? It's perfectly reasonable. After all, I was his roommate before you were his boyfriend, so that means I get first dibs. Don't worry, I've been going on a lot of missions."

"So all I have to do is start sending you on more missions and I can have him more often?"

"Uh, no, wait a sec, that's not what I meant at all," Zack backpedalled.

"That's what it sounded like to me. Maybe I'll have you permanently assigned to Wutai or something."

"That's a total abuse of power!"

Sephiroth shrugged. "Doesn't matter anyways, Cloud's made it pretty clear he's not a possession. He's also not a child; he can stay with me whenever he wants. And at home when he doesn't. Didn't you just give me a big lecture about that? If you want him to stay home more often, why don't you ask him?"

"You have no idea how glad I am you said that," an icy voice spoke from the hallway and Sephiroth turned in horror to see Cloud standing in the doorway, holding a stack of papers.

"Oh, hi, Cloud." Zack grinned cheerfully. "We were just talking about you."

"I heard. Something about a custody arrangement? Working out when you each _get_ me?"

"Come on, I didn't mean it like that!"

Cloud sighed and shook his head. "You need to sign these, sir," he said to Sephiroth. "It's the paperwork for everyone who's been approved to take the SOLDIER exam."

"Understood, Corporal, just set them on the desk." Sephiroth nodded towards the corner. "Are you mad at me?" he asked in a much less professional manner.

"No, I'm not mad at _you_. You used your brain, I'm quite grateful for that."

"Do you want me to hurt Zack for you?"

Cloud laughed. "No, that's okay. I just won't make him dinner for a while. I _had_ been planning to make a bunch of meals to freeze, but for some reason, I'm not in the mood. Anyways, I've got to get back. See you later?"

"Sure. Do you want to go out for dinner tonight since you won't be cooking?"

"Sounds good, I'll come by after you get off work." Cloud gave him a small wave and stuck out his tongue at Zack before leaving the office.

Zack rounded on him. "You just _had_ to side with him, didn't you?"

"Of course. Never let it be said that I don't learn my lessons. Enjoy your canned chili tonight."

"I hate you."

Sephiroth just nodded smugly. "Go do your work. Maybe I'll convince Cloud to bring you his leftovers if you get all your paperwork done."

"I _really_ hate you," Zack was muttering mutinously as he left the office.

Sephiroth smiled to himself when he was left alone, relieved that he had successfully evaded Cloud's wrath. And happy that he had a date for tonight. He began shuffling through the stack of papers Cloud had left, trying to find the most important one. He decided not to worry any more about what Hojo might be up to. He wanted to enjoy himself for as long as it lasted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Coming up next time in PoW: Holy shit! Did this story have a plot!? Tune in to see if Paperplane can write anything other than smut!


	23. Chapter 23

Reno breezed into Tseng's office and flopped into one of the visitor's chairs. "What's up, boss? You wanted to see us?"

"Sit up properly," Rude's disapproving voice sounded from behind him.

Reno glanced up and was met with a glare from Tseng. He gave a long-suffering sigh before rearranging himself into a slightly more respectable position. The uptight bastards just didn't understand the way he operated. He waited impatiently for Tseng to brief them on their new assignment.

"This one is strictly off the records," Tseng gave Rude a knowing look as he began speaking. They were always doing shit like that; it pissed him off when they kept him in the dark. "I need you to look into what Professor Hojo is doing. Sephiroth is worried that it has something to do with Strife. Look into the science department's budget lately; see if you can find where the money's been going. Also look for any information pertaining to Nibelheim, no matter how old it is. Apparently the labcoats were really excited when they learned that's where Strife is from."

"Strife's the boyfriend?" Rude confirmed. Reno stared at the two men, totally confused. What was going on here? It seemed like they were doing Sephiroth a favour. And how did Rude know about the general's fuckbuddy?

"Yes, these are his records." Tseng handed a folder to Rude. "I looked at them briefly after the incident where Sephiroth was kidnapped, and again after the mako testing, but I didn't notice anything in particular. Try digging a little deeper; see if you can come up with anything useful."

"Understood. Do you want the report in writing?"

"No, just tell me in person when you find anything. I'm going to work on it, too, so I'll let you know if I come up with something as well."

"Yes, sir." Rude grabbed Reno by the shoulder and steered him towards the door.

As soon as they had gotten back to their own office, Reno turned on him. "What the hell's goin' on, Rude? Why're we doing favours for SOLDIER?" Reno was sure that his partner was staring at him blankly, even though he couldn't see his eyes through the sunglasses.

"You don't know yet?"

"It's kinda hard to know things about the Turks if no one ever tells me," Reno said exasperatedly.

There was a long pause before Rude spoke again, "We keep up the appearance of a Turk/SOLDIER rivalry for show. The president expects us to compete against each other to encourage us to improve our performance. In reality, Tseng and Sephiroth are friends. They do each other favours fairly often. For this mission, no one outside of the Turks is to know about it. Don't write down anything that isn't strictly necessary and don't talk about it if there's a risk of being overheard. We don't think that Hojo knows about Strife and we'd like to keep it that way. Strife was the one responsible for getting Sephiroth to stop going to the labs; Hojo would gladly have him in pieces as revenge if he knew."

Reno's felt his heart turning to ice as Rude was being uncharacteristically talkative. He had fucked up. And Turks that fucked up didn't get second chances. It wouldn't matter that he hadn't known. He gave Rude a sideways glance; maybe if he explained and told them everything he knew, they'd let him live. But… he didn't want to just disappear one night. Or sit around waiting for a bullet that may or may not come. He could just pretend he didn't know anything and do the assignment as expected. That would probably be safest. If he destroyed the videos he had taken of Sephiroth and Strife, they'd never even know. It wasn't like Hojo was going to rat him out.

"Right, got it, we're secret friends with SOLDIER. Why couldn't I know about this earlier?"

Rude shrugged. "It's not like there's a big list of Turk secrets we go through when you join us. We tell you things as you need to know them."

Reno glowered; he had _needed_ to know that secret a lot earlier. "So where do we start?"

"Start by looking into Nibelheim. I'm going to look at the science department's financial records."

"Got it." Reno spun around in his chair and shook his computer mouse. "Nibelheim… where the hell is that? And how do you spell it?"

***

"Hey, Cloud. You doing anything tonight?" James shouted over the noise of the showers.

"Sleeping. Why, you got something better in mind?" Both Sephiroth and Zack were away on missions, so he had been planning on a boring night at home.

"Let's hit a bar somewhere; you've still got some of your pay left, right?

"Sure." Cloud finished rinsing his hair and shut off the shower. It had been a long time since he had felt safe enough to take a shower in the locker rooms. The panic buttons Sephiroth had had installed still made him laugh a little, but they _were_ a good idea. Especially since Sephiroth had assured him that someone was monitoring them all the time and _would_ come if something happened. James also never left the lockers without Cloud, which was a great source of reassurance. They weren't great friends yet, but they were getting there. He trusted him to have his back at least.

They got dressed and headed out for their night on the town. Cloud sent Sephiroth a quick mail letting him know where he was. The PHS he had given him during his week of overprotective paranoia was nice, but Sephiroth tended to panic if he didn't reply right away. If he told him ahead of time that he'd be at a bar, Sephiroth would at least know that he might not notice the phone ringing.

"Where d'you want to go?" he asked as the phone chimed with Sephiroth's reply.

 _Have fun and be safe. Miss you too._

"Got your boyfriend's permission?" James teased.

"I don't need his permission!" Cloud protested. "I was just telling him that I was going out."

"I know, I know. There's a new place I want to check out; it's supposed to have cheap drinks."

"Sounds good."

The bar was in the slums, so Cloud made sure to buy his return ticket for the train then. Sometimes it was really hard to leave the slums at night if you didn't already have a ticket. Just more of Shin-Ra's discrimination against people from the slums, he supposed. Zack had complained a few times about getting stuck there and having to stay at Aerith's with her mother glaring at him disapprovingly the entire time. Cloud had laughed outright at that; he certainly wouldn't trust Zack with his daughter.

The bar James wanted to try was called Seventh Heaven. Cloud remembered seeing it under construction barely even a couple weeks ago when he visited Aerith. It already looked old. He eyed the construction dubiously as they went in; it would be just his luck that he'd be inside when the whole thing collapsed. His fears were assuaged, however, when he saw the beer selection. They had Nibel Ale, in three varieties. Anywhere that had the sense to stock Nibel Ale was bound to be good.

They picked a table and sat down as the waitress made her way over to them. "What'll ya have, boys?"

Cloud excitedly ordered his Nibel Ale and a plate of fries.

James quirked an eyebrow at him. "You sounded far too happy when you ordered that."

"It's Nibel Ale! I can't help it; I was practically raised on it! I haven't even seen it since I came to Midgar."

"I see, so that's what's wrong with you…"

"Hey!" Cloud aimed a kick under the table and connected with James's shin. The waitress brought their orders just as the cursing was dying down and Cloud took an appreciative swig. "Just because you'll drink any swill as long as it's cheap is no reason to make fun of me."

"Yeah, yeah, crazy mountain boy. So've you been studying hard for the SOLDIER exams?"

"Uh-huh, Sephiroth's been helping me." Cloud somehow managed to keep his blush under control when he said that. "We've been going over the old tests and stuff."

"He lets you see the old tests!? That's no fair! I want to date the general."

"Oh! You can totally check them out from the library. They're available to anyone." Cloud did _not_ want anyone thinking he was getting special treatment.

"The hell? I never knew that."

"Me neither, till Sephiroth told me. He thinks the instructors don't mention it because they assume we know. And if we don't, we must not want to pass badly enough."

"Dude, that's such bullshit. So the general studies with you? That's so cool! You're gonna ace the tests."

"I hope so, I'm so sick of being 'just a trooper'. I want to be in SOLDIER and go on real missions. And not have to carry a stupid gun. I wanna use my sword, dammit!"

"You're such a whiny bitch, Cloud. Some of us don't even have swords given to us by our amazingly hot boyfriends."

"Uh..." Cloud wasn't sure what to say to that.

"Hey, I was just joking, don't worry about it. But spill. I wanna hear about what you guys do. Let me live vicariously through you for a while."

"Well, we went out for dinner last night."

James gave him a disgusted look. "Details, Cloud, I want details. Where'd you go?"

"The Black Swan. It was fun; we wore disguises so we wouldn't get recognized by the Silver Elite, but the restaurant staff didn't want to let us in because we didn't look nice enough. Then Sephiroth pitched a fit and demanded to see the manager. I was trying to hide in the corner, so I didn't hear what he said, but the manager apologized to us at least a dozen times as he was taking us to our table."

"Heh, that's awesome. Must be nice having that sort of power."

"I think it embarrasses him most of the time, but sometimes I think he likes having fun with it. He swears that one day, we're going to try going to L'Astrance dressed like we've spent our entire lives in the slums. Just to see if they'll still let him in."

"My gil's on 'yes'."

"Mine too. There's no way they won't let him in once they realize who he is."

"I can't believe he does stuff like that, though. I mean, he's General Sephiroth! He's Shin-Ra's posterboy and they let him go around being a little shitdisturber?"

Cloud snorted and nearly choked on his beer. "They can't stop him."

"I know. What are they gonna do? But I totally thought he was this uptight sort of guy. Always follows the rules. I never actually pictured him having fun. He doesn't seem like he even knows how to smile."

"Oh he does. He's got a bunch of different smiles. My favourite is his evil smile. That's when he _knows_ what he's doing isn't allowed and he's going to do it anyways. He gets this look on his face that totally says, 'just try and stop me'." Actually, Cloud's favourite smile was the lazy, satisfied smile that Sephiroth always wore after he came, but he wasn't about to share that.

***

They ended up talking for hours, and when the bartender informed them of last call, James jumped. "Shit! I missed curfew! And we've got drill in the morning!"

Cloud quickly downed the last of his beer and waved the waitress over to ask for their bill. "Okay, let's go."

As they stumbled out into the darkened streets of Sector Seven, Cloud felt a slight chill that had nothing to do with the temperature. He didn't want to be out here, drunk, with only one other person. It wasn't far to the train station, but that didn't make it any safer. He hovered near the staircase leading into Seventh Heaven, trying to think of what he could do. Why hadn't he thought? Stupid! There wasn't even anyone he could call to come pick them up.

"C'mon, Clou, let's go. Gotta get back." James grabbed at his arm and attempted to drag him into the street, but Cloud was frozen in place.

"I can't," he said, "I can't go out there."

"Waz wrong? It's a bee-ootiful night!" James shouted far too loudly, attracting the attention of some seedy looking men down the street. He spun around as he walked, looking upwards at what would have been the stars had they not been under the plate.

"No," Cloud's voice was barely more than a whisper, "Don't go." He backed up until his back was against the wall of the bar and fumbled in his pocket for his PHS. He knew Sephiroth was away, but maybe he had come back early. Maybe he would come get him. He squeezed his eyes shut as he flipped the phone open, praying there would be a signal.

There was. He hit the speed dial for Sephiroth and listened to almost an entire ring before it was answered.

"What's wrong?" Sephiroth's concerned voice came out of the speaker and Cloud almost cried in relief.

"Seph, I'm scared. I don't know what to do."

"Where are you? Are you hurt? What happened?" The questions came at him in a rush and Cloud's drunken mind struggled to process them.

"I'm okay. I'm outside a bar in the slums. But I'm drunk and it's dark and I'm scared to go out there alone. I'm sorry, I screwed up."

"Okay, calm down. What's the name of the bar? Do you know where it is?"

"Seventh Heaven. In Sector Seven." Cloud was nearly in tears as he spoke.

"Is it at least lit where you are? Or can you go back inside?"

"Yeah, there's a light." Cloud dragged himself to his feet and tried the door. Locked. "I can't go back in."

"Okay, stay where you are. I'm going to call someone to ask him to go get you and then I'll call right back. Okay?"

"Okay." Cloud snapped the phone shut and waited for what seemed like hours. Every noise, every bout of drunken laughter, made him jump nervously. Finally, the phone began vibrating and Sephiroth's name lit up on the call display.

"Hi," he answered.

"All right, someone's coming for you. You've seen Tseng before, right? Black hair, ponytail, tilaka?"

"Yeah, I've seen him."

"It might take him a little while, since he has to find the place, but I'm going to stay on the line with you."

"Okay." Cloud felt like a little kid who had gotten lost and was waiting for his mommy to come get him. He was such an idiot.

"Cloud, you know you did the right thing, right?"

"Getting drunk in a dodgy area at three AM was the right thing?"

"No, that was really stupid. I'm a bit shocked at how stupid that was, actually. But listening to your instincts and calling for help wasn't stupid at all. Where's your friend, by the way?"

"He wandered off, he wouldn't listen when I said I didn't want to go and I was scared to chase after him. He was even drunker than me."

Cloud heard Sephiroth sigh. "And that's why you shouldn't make friends with idiots. It's not _just_ because I'm possessive," he muttered quietly. "Does he have a PHS?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Figures. Well, I'll have Tseng take a look for him after he gets you."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Sephiroth chatted aimlessly for ten minutes or so, keeping Cloud's mind off of his situation while he waited for Tseng. Eventually, he saw a black car with tinted windows driving slowly down the street. It screamed Turk on a mission.

"I think he's here." Cloud had never been so relieved in his life to see a car.

"Wait until you actually see him before you move. I don't want you attracting attention until I know it's safe."

The car pulled to a stop and someone in a dark suit got out and looked around. He spotted Cloud huddled in the porchlight and walked over. When he stepped into the light, Cloud recognized the figure as Tseng.

"Cloud?" he called. "I'm Tseng. Is Sephiroth on the phone with you? Can I talk to him?"

Cloud nodded and held out the phone.

"Hey, it's me. Yeah, he looks fine. Another one? Okay, I'll take a look, but you really owe me for this. It was my night off, you know. Really? Deal. Okay, yeah, I'll do that. And I'll get him home, don't worry. Do you want me to have him call you when he's home? Gaia, Sephiroth, I was just joking; you're such a mother chocobo. He's fine. He'll remain fine. All right, I'll make sure he calls." Tseng took the phone away from his ear, shaking his head. "He wants to talk to you again."

"I'll call when I get home," Cloud promised as soon as he had the phone. The least his could do was make sure that Sephiroth didn't worry after he went to so much trouble.

"Thanks. Tseng's going to swing by the station and see if your friend's there. If he's not, he'll check to make sure he got back to the barracks."

"Thank you for doing this."

"You're welcome. Now go home, you drunk. I'll talk to you soon."

"Yep, bye."

Cloud hung up and looked up apologetically at Tseng. "I'm really sorry I ruined your night off."

Tseng gave him a hard look for a few moments. "Don't be," he said, "It wasn't. I had just gotten off shift when Sephiroth called me. But I guilted him into importing steaks from Wutai for me, so don't tell him that. Let's go." Tseng ushered him towards the waiting car and opened the passenger door for him.

Cloud got in the plush car and buckled up as Tseng went around to the driver's side. There was all sorts of equipment blinking on the dashboard. One machine in particular caught his eye. His PHS number was displayed and there was a blinking light on a map.

"Were you tracking me?" he asked as Tseng got in.

"How else was I going to find you down here? Next time you decide to go drinking in the slums, by the way, go someplace established. The maps aren't exactly updated regularly."

"Right, sorry."

Tseng pulled out into the street and started heading towards the station. "And you can stop apologizing. No one's mad at you. I, for one, am glad you had the brains to call Sephiroth. If something had happened to you, he probably would have lost it. I don't mind getting home a bit late if it can keep that from happening. The slums aren't a good place for Shin-Ra people to be when they're alone and vulnerable."

"I understand."

Tseng gave him another piercing look as he pulled to a stop. "Yeah, I think you do. What does your friend look like?"

"Bit taller than me, dark brown hair cut pretty short. He was wearing a red t-shirt and jeans. His name's James Wilson."

"Okay, wait here, I'll go take a look for him."

Tseng got out of the car and the locks clicked moments later. Cloud hunched over in his seat and waited. Five minutes later, they clicked again and Tseng got back in.

"He's not here; the stationmaster doesn't remember seeing him, but that guy doesn't remember a lot of things. There was a train not too long ago, so he probably got on it. I'll check with the barracks after I get you home."

Cloud nodded; James was fine. Cloud was sure he had freaked out over nothing. Still, he was glad to be safe in a car rather than on the train with all the weird people who ride it at night. He watched the blinking light that represented his PHS moving along the map and listened to the quiet hum of the car engine. His eyes began to drift shut.

What seemed like only a few minutes later, Tseng was shaking him awake. "We're here, Cloud. Come on, I don't like you enough to carry you."

"'Kay." Cloud blinked tiredly and fumbled with his seat buckle. He got it undone and stumbled out of the car. Tseng grabbed him by the arm and steered him in the right direction.

Cloud automatically headed for the staircase when they entered the lobby and Tseng protested, trying to push him towards the elevators instead.

"Unless you want me puking on your shoes, stairs."

"Right, Sephiroth mentioned that once. Stairs it is. I'll bet you can't wait to join SOLDIER."

"Whaa? What's that got to do with anything?"

"Mako prevents things like motion sickness. Didn't you know?"

"Well, now I know what I'm saying if they ask why I want to join SOLDIER."

Tseng laughed and pushed him through the door onto the fourth floor. Cloud fumbled for his keys and managed to get his door open.

"Thanks," he said.

"You have to call your boyfriend to tell him I didn't let you die on the way here before I can go."

"Oh right, I forgot."

"I had a feeling you might have."

Cloud flipped open his phone again and dialled Sephiroth. After reassuring him that everything was fine, Cloud hung up and wandered into the kitchen to pour himself a big glass of water.

"Hey, Cloud, can I ask you something?" Tseng had followed him into the kitchen.

"Mmm, sure."

"Do you know anything about Shin-Ra's presence in Nibelheim?"

"Uhh... huh?"

"Are there any rumours about what Shin-Ra's doing there?"

"Well, there's the story about the vampire in the Shin-Ra mansion."

"Vampire?"

"Yeah, there's a vampire that lives there. You can sometimes hear wailing and screaming coming from there at night. And some people have seen strange monsters in the woods. People say it's a vampire. Why?"

"No reason, I was just curious. Have a good night, Cloud."

"You too. Thanks again for bringing me home."

"You're welcome." Tseng turned and headed out.

Cloud followed and locked the door behind him. What had that been about? He shrugged to himself then padded off to his bedroom. He flopped down on the bed, fully dressed, and fell asleep almost immediately.

***

Tseng left the apartment and glanced at his watch: 4:13. And he still had to go to the barracks. It may not have been his night off, but he definitely deserved steak for all this. But, he had gotten a chance to ask Strife about Nibelheim. That had been risky, since Sephiroth didn't want him knowing they were looking into his files, but the best way to learn anything about what Shin-Ra might be up to was to ask someone from the area. And while Strife didn't _seem_ that drunk, it was a pretty safe bet that he was. Between that and the tiredness, it was doubtful he'd remember much of their last exchange in the morning.

He walked over to the barracks and glanced at the sign-in roster, locating Wilson's name and looking for the check saying he had come in tonight. The box was blank. Fuck. Maybe he had just forgotten to check in; that had been known to happen. He looked up at the sergeant on duty. "Has Private Wilson been in yet?"

"No, sir, he missed curfew. He in some sort of trouble?"

"No, but he should have been back by now. This is my number." Tseng handed him a card. "I want him to call me when he gets in. If he's not here by reveille, you call me." Maybe he had stopped at a diner for breakfast. It's not like he'd get in _more_ trouble the later he was out, as long as he was there for reveille.

"Understood, sir."

Tseng tried not to be too concerned about Wilson; but it was hard not to be. He really _should_ have been back by now. He found himself even more relieved that Cloud had called for help. He sighed tiredly, if the kid wasn't back by reveille, he'd report it to the MPs and they could start a search. For now, he needed sleep.


	24. Chapter 24

Something was hammering in Cloud's head, trying to get in. He gave an agonized moan and pulled his pillow over his head. That muffled the hammering a bit, but now something was buzzing. Blearily, he pulled the pillow off and sat up, squinting at the light coming in through the window. He glanced at his clock and realized several things in rapid succession. First, he was late for drill, if he hadn't missed it entirely, second, his phone was ringing, and third, someone was banging on the door. He stumbled out of bed, grabbed his phone and flipped it open, heading for the door.

"'Lo?" His mouth was dry and tasted like something had died in it.

"Cloud, answer the damn door." Sephiroth sounded really tired.

"'M coming." He hung up and fumbled with the lock. He was mildly impressed that he had actually managed to lock it last night. As soon as it was unlocked, the door was violently shoved open and a blur of black and silver rushed towards him. He barely had time to gather himself before he was engulfed in the smell of leather and Sephiroth's shampoo. Sephiroth squeezed him tightly until he was gasping for air. "Breathing's nice," he choked out.

Sephiroth loosened his hold slightly. "Sorry," he said, "I really needed to see you. Make sure you were okay."

"I _did_ call you when I got home, didn't I? I think I remember Tseng reminding me."

"Yeah, you did, it's just—"

"Just what, Sephiroth? Did something happen?" Cloud was starting to get worried; Sephiroth was acting strange.

"Just go take a quick shower and get dressed for now. We can talk more after that."

"I've got to get to drill," Cloud protested, "I'm in so much trouble."

"Yes, you are, but only with me. Don't worry about drill, that's been taken care of. Go take a shower, you smell like a drunk."

Cloud was confused, but did as he was told. He refilled his water glass several times before jumping in the shower and quickly scrubbing himself down. He felt so much better when he stepped out. He dressed and headed into the living room, where Sephiroth was just hanging up his PHS.

"Hey," Sephiroth said, "Sit down."

"What's going on, Sephiroth?"

"Your friend didn't come back to the barracks last night. The MPs found him this morning; he had been roughed up, mugged, and dumped in an alley. They brought him to the hospital, but he should be released tomorrow. I'll take you to see him, if you want."

Cloud could only nod, stunned. James had been hurt? He was torn between wishing he had gone with him and being glad that he hadn't followed. Maybe they would have been okay if they had been together.

"Cloud, don't start feeling guilty. He's a grown man, he could have waited with you, but he chose not to."

"I barely even tried to get him to stay, though. I didn't tell him I was going to call you."

"You were scared." Sephiroth pulled him in to gently embrace him. "You were panicking when you called, I could hear it in your voice. You couldn't be expected to go chasing after him or even yell for him. It's not your fault. Come on, we'll go see him and make sure he's okay. Sound good?"

He nodded against Sephiroth's chest. "Yeah, let's do that."

He followed Sephiroth solemnly out of the building and across the compound towards the parking lot. Sephiroth kept his distance as they walked. They passed a redhead in a suit who looked like he was going to say something to them, but Sephiroth gave a quick shake of his head and the man looked away and ignored them.

"What was that about?" Cloud asked.

"Classified," was Sephiroth's clipped answer.

They made it to Sephiroth's car and Cloud hunkered down in the passenger seat, trying to hide. He was putting Sephiroth through way too much trouble for this. He should have just gone to the hospital by himself.

A hand reached over and squeezed his thigh. "Hey, sit up. You look like you're trying to melt into the seat." Sephiroth grinned widely at him. "You're not feeling too hungover, are you?"

"No, I'm okay, thanks. What if someone sees me in your car?"

"The windows are tinted, and sorry about that. Lazard was complaining about how it might look, so I just thought it would be better if we avoided advertising that we're together during work hours. I should have said something first, sorry. It's only while we're on Shin-Ra property, though. When we get to the hospital, you're my boyfriend."

"Okay. Are you sure? It's Shin-Ra's hospital, isn't it?"

"Oh, who cares? I'm sure the hospital staff can handle it. And if we give any patients heart-attacks, we're just weeding out the ones who shouldn't be in the army, anyways."

Cloud allowed himself a laugh. "But they treat more than just army people!"

"Well, poke me if you see any old ladies who look kindly, but heart-attack-prone. I'll stop making out with you then."

"I think Zack's sense of humour has rubbed off on you."

"Oh, that's a bad thing, isn't it? I wonder if they have a cure for it at the hospital."

"You should ask. It might be fatal."

Before he knew it, they had arrived at the hospital. Cloud felt a wave of guilt and the smile fell from his face as he remembered their reason for coming here. Sephiroth came around to his side of the car and took his hand.

"Come on, you can do this. I managed it."

Cloud snorted derisively. "Barely."

"Hey! I tried!"

"Yeah, you did, and I was grateful for it. You know, James is going to be so shocked you came to visit. You _are_ going in to see him, right?"

"Yes, I am."

"Oh, good, thanks." They made their way inside and Cloud asked the lady at information where James was. She directed them to the third floor and Sephiroth refused to take the stairs.

"Don't worry, I'll distract you."

"What if there are people?"

Sephiroth shrugged. "They'll get a bit of a show."

"You're horrible! Hey… Tseng said something last night. It was really important… Oh! I remember! He said that mako prevents motion sickness. Is that true?"

"I'm not sure; I don't know of any SOLDIERs who get motion sick, so, maybe."

"That would be so sweet! I can't wait to be a SOLDIER."

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. A bunch of people piled out and he and Sephiroth got on, followed by two doctors. Cloud wondered if Sephiroth would actually go through with his threat of giving people a show; he really hoped not. As the doors shut, he managed to work himself into a small panic about being put on display, but Sephiroth guided him to the corner of the elevator and ruffled his hair.

"Calm down," he said quietly, "I was just joking earlier. Just close your eyes and we'll be there before you know it." With that, Sephiroth took him by the hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze. Cloud shut his eyes and concentrated on breathing calmly. When they arrived on the third floor, he all but ran out the doors, then turned courageously to wait for Sephiroth to follow at a more sedate pace. He caught a glimpse over Sephiroth's shoulder of the two doctors looking amused before the doors shut and they were whisked away.

Cloud looked down at the room number he had written on his hand and led the way down the hallway to their right. He knew his way around this floor pretty well and had them at James's room in no time. It wasn't a private room like Cloud's had been; there were six beds total in the room, with three on each side. Four were currently occupied and Cloud spotted James in one of the ones closest to the window. He waved and made his way over.

"Hey, James. How're you feeling?" Cloud took in the cuts and bruises, and IV attached to his friend's arm and tried not to feel too guilty.

"Cloud, what're—" James's eyes grew wide as he noticed the man standing behind him. "General Sephiroth!"

"Hello, Private Wilson." Sephiroth's tone had darkened considerably. "I believe the corporal asked you a question." It suddenly occurred to Cloud that Sephiroth wasn't happy about what had happened the night before and that he would be looking for someone to blame. And here he had been thinking that it would be like a famous chocobo racer visiting someone in the hospital to cheer them up. Sephiroth had brought him here so he could visit James, of course, but _Sephiroth_ wasn't here for a social call, that was clear now.

"Um, yes, sir. I'm fine, Cloud, I mean, Corporal Strife." The excitement bled from James's face as he also realized that he was in big trouble.

"That's good," Cloud said awkwardly. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, everything's just superficial, so it should heal quickly."

"Good." Cloud shuffled his feet uncomfortably as the looming presence of the general seemed to fill the room. He kind of wished Sephiroth would just get it over with.

"Cloud, is that you?" said a voice from the doorway. "Well, I'll be, I never thought I'd see your spiky head around here again!"

Cloud glanced behind him and spotted Rick, looking as busy as ever with an armful of IV bags. "Hi, Rick!" he waved excitedly.

The nurse dumped the bags on a table and came over to where they were huddled around James's bed. "Good to see you again, General," he nodded at Sephiroth before turning to Cloud. "How's your hand recovering?"

"Not bad," Cloud said, holding it up and wiggling his fingers. "I've got most of the flexibility back and I'm still working on strength."

"Good, good. The strength will come; it's when there's loss of motion that doesn't recover quickly that there's a problem. Any pain?"

"Yeah. Mostly when I use it a lot or the weather changes. The physiotherapists said that's pretty much to be expected."

"Yeah, not a lot they can do about that. It'll probably always be a bit weather-wise."

Cloud glanced up to see Sephiroth looking concerned before his usual mask fell over his features.

"Cloud," Sephiroth leaned in to speak quietly, "I need to speak with Private Wilson, why don't you go catch up with your friend while I do that?" Cloud hesitated, he wasn't sure he wanted to leave James alone to be lectured. "I promise not to be too harsh. Please?"

Cloud looked at Rick. "Do you have time?" he asked.

"Sure, I'm due for a break."

"Okay." If Sephiroth said he wouldn't be too harsh, he wouldn't. He turned to James, who was looking rather annoyed about being left out of the conversation. "I'll be back in ten minutes and we can talk properly then, okay?"

"Sure, Corporal." James did _not_ sound happy about being abandoned.

***

Rick led the way to the staff's break room and handed him a cup of coffee and a donut. "Did I hear that last little bit with General Sephiroth properly? Because it sounded to me like he was convincing you to leave, rather than ordering you, like a general should."

"Yeah, you heard it right. We're kind of… together." Cloud blushed and took a big gulp of his coffee, scalding his tongue in the process.

"Wow, Cloud, that's… unexpected. How long?"

"Almost three months."

Rick gaped at him. "So, I guess all your worrying that he was mad at you was for nothing. Are you okay? I mean, I know you had a crush on him, but with everything that happened to you, I imagine things are pretty complicated between the two of you."

"Yeah, I'm okay, Sephiroth's really great. And we're taking things slow. It is complicated, and sometimes it's really hard, but we're working things out as they come." Cloud smiled brightly, "I haven't been this happy for as long as I can remember, actually."

"Good for you, Cloud. I'm really happy for you. I've got to admit, I was pretty worried about you when you left. I'm glad we were able to catch up."

"Me too." Cloud nodded his agreement.

***

Sephiroth watched Cloud leave with the nurse and then pulled the curtain around to block off the view from the other beds. He slowly turned to face the terrified looking trooper in the bed. Good. He _should_ be terrified. This _idiot_ had left Cloud alone and scared in the slums; he could have gotten Cloud hurt or killed. Sephiroth felt his lips curl into a snarl and nearly growled before he stopped himself. Like it or not, this kid was Cloud's only friend in his squad. And he had promised not to be too harsh. Turning into some sort of feral animal probably counted as too harsh.

"I'm very disappointed in you, Private," he managed to say with a level voice. "I would have expected a member of my army to show better judgment than that. I believe that everyone is informed of the dangers of going into the slums alone at night. Two people isn't much better than alone and you should have known that."

"I'm sorry, sir. I really am. I didn't think we'd be out that late and I didn't realize that Cloud wasn't with me until it was too late. Although, I guess it's good that he didn't come with me." Wilson was attempting to shrink down into his bed.

For whatever reason, the disappointment in his voice seemed to be more effective than yelling might have been. Sephiroth decided he could use that to his advantage. "When Cloud told me that you were his friend, I was concerned at first, but it seemed like you genuinely cared about him. I decided to trust you to look out for him, like a friend should. When Cloud called me last night and told me that you had left him, after he tried to get you to stay, I realized that my trust had been misplaced."

"No, it wasn't!" Wilson protested. "I promise, nothing like this will happen again. Please give me another chance, sir."

"Second chances have to be _earned_ ," Sephiroth said shortly. "Fortunately for you, Cloud makes his own decisions about his friends. But you won't be going out alone with him until you've proven that you're trustworthy."

"Yes, sir, I understand."

"Good. Then I believe we're done here." Sephiroth pulled back the curtain and strode out of the room without so much as a backwards glance.

When he got out to the hallway, he leaned casually against the wall and waited for Cloud. He really wished he could have yelled; giving the kid a thorough beating would have been most satisfying. But Cloud would have been mad. He supposed that making Wilson feel extremely guilty had been good enough. Cloud had mentioned that Wilson idolized him; the fact that his hero was disappointed in him was probably punishment enough.

Cloud came down the hall a short while later carrying two cups of coffee. He smiled and handed one of them to Sephiroth. "You didn't yell too much, did you?"

"No, I didn't yell at all," Sephiroth informed him. He couldn't help but give a smug smile at his ability to claim that.

Cloud noticed that and frowned slightly. "What did you do?"

"Nothing, just go talk to him. I'll wait out here for you."

"All right, I'll try not to be too long. There are some chairs down that way, if you want." Cloud pointed down the hallway, in the opposite direction they had come from.

"Thanks, but I'm fine here. Take as long as you want." Sephiroth leaned down and gave him a quick peck on the forehead then pushed him towards the door. "Go, he could probably use a friend."

***

Cloud let the door swing shut behind him and looked down to the end of the row of beds. James was looking a bit sulky and also thoughtful, but he smiled when he saw that Cloud was back.

"Hey." He waved Cloud over. "Come cheer me up a bit."

"Did he yell?" Cloud winced as he asked.

"No, although I really wish he had. I could have handled yelling. Instead he was disappointed. That… that was hard to take."

"Oh… I can't even get mad at him for that, sorry."

"No, I deserved it, I know that. It's just, he's my hero, you know? And he made it seem like I had failed him personally. Which I guess I did, considering how I convinced you to go and then ditched you."

Cloud shook his head. "No, it wasn't your fault. Well, it wasn't _all_ your fault. Let me guess, Sephiroth made it sound like I was just an innocent victim and you were the peer pressuring hooligan?"

"Yep, that's pretty much it," James laughed. "I dragged you down to the dark and dangerous slums—"

"And I had no idea just how dark and dangerous they were, I'm sure."

"Not a clue. You totally missed that lecture when we joined."

"Figures, he's always like that. I'll try and straighten him out, but I can't guarantee successful results. He's a bit stubborn sometimes. Though I'm pretty sure I'll also be getting an 'I'm not angry, just disappointed' lecture."

"Well, I'm glad that _you_ , at least, don't blame me."

"Are you kidding!? I thought you'd be the one who was mad at me! I barely tried to get you to stay and it was only after you were gone that I tried calling Sephiroth. You got beat up while I got a ride home with a Turk and a personal escort to my door. Somehow, I think I'm not the one who deserves the sympathy."

"When you put it that way, you're totally right, you're an asshole, Cloud."

"My deepest apologies, oh, drunken wanderer. We _did_ look for you, just so you know."

"Really?"

"Of course! I didn't want to just _leave_ you. But Tseng said you weren't at the station and he hoped you had already gotten on the train. And I think he wanted to get me home as soon as he could; he said something about Sephiroth being a… chocobo? Maybe? I dunno, I was drunk and I only heard half the conversation."

" _Tseng_ picked you up!? Tseng, as in the head Turk, Tseng?"

"Sephiroth had to bribe him, but yep."

"Damn, how do I not have any autographs yet? What am I friends with you for?"

"Well, maybe you would if you weren't such a terrible influence."

"Ahh, good point. I forgot about that. Now I've got to prove that I'm trustworthy and deserving of a second chance. I should have asked for an autograph right away."

"Aww, poor you. Well, I'm going to let you wallow in misery and regret. I've got a lecture coming, and I want Sephiroth in a good mood when he decides to give it to me. That means not keeping him waiting too long. You're getting out tomorrow?"

"Yep."

"Then I'll see you then. I'd offer to come get you, but I suspect I've got drill. Sephiroth never did explain why I didn't have to go today, just that 'it was taken care of'."

"That sounds a bit ominous. Hope you don't get yelled at too much."

"Me too, see you!" Cloud waved and headed for the door. Actually, he was of much the same opinion as James; he'd rather get yelled at than have Sephiroth tell him he was disappointed.

***

When he came out of the room, Sephiroth was deep in conversation with Rick. They looked like they were discussing something quite serious, so Cloud hung back until they finished. Rick gave him a quick wave goodbye as he dashed down the hallway.

"Are you ready to go?" Sephiroth asked him and Cloud nodded. "Let's head back to my place for lunch, then."

Cloud figured that would be when he got his inevitable lecture, so he nodded resignedly. "Sure."

But no mention was made of the previous night's events during lunch. Sephiroth was oddly quiet, actually. It wasn't until they were clearing away the dishes that he finally spoke more than a few words.

"Why didn't you tell me you were in pain?"

"What?" That was completely out of left field.

"Your hand. You told that nurse that it hurts. Why didn't you tell me?"

Cloud shrugged. "It's not like there's much to say. There's not much use in complaining about it."

"But I—"

"I know, you want to help. You want to make it better, but you can't, Sephiroth. This is just something I've got to get used to and deal with. I've got icepacks and anti-inflammatories for when it gets bad. I was going to ask you if I could toss a couple icepacks in your freezer, though. It'd be more convenient since I've been spending so much time here lately."

"Of course you can. You didn't have to ask me."

"I knew what the answer would be, but it's still polite to ask."

Sephiroth sighed moodily. "I wish there was something I could do. You'd think we'd have magic for that sort of thing."

"That'd be so nice! But then the pain-killer companies would be out of business."

"Well, you're off duty for the rest of the day, so you can take it easy. You said it hurts more when you use it, didn't you?"

"Why? I mean, why am I off duty?" Cloud asked.

"I put you on a special assignment for today. Every once in a while, I need an assistant, so they assign someone from the regular troops who's shown promise. It's a reward, I guess. I just asked for you today. And since you live with Zack, I told them that I would inform you myself. So no one knows you missed drill this morning. It seemed like the easiest way to get all this sorted out with minimal trouble. Was that okay?"

"It's something you do regularly?"

Sephiroth nodded. "And I've also requested specific people before, so they didn't think that was unusual."

"But then why am I off for the rest of the day?"

Sephiroth paused, as though confused, before speaking. "Well, I told them I needed you for the day. So you don't have to return to your unit."

"But I can assist you. Then, at least, it won't be a complete lie."

"Oh, I didn't think you would want to do that. You're probably still tired, so I figured you'd just want to rest."

"If I'm tired, it's my own fault. Please, can I help you? I promise I'll be useful. And I'll behave; no one in your office who doesn't already know about us will find out. Director Lazard won't have any reason to get mad at you."

"Okay, if you want to," Sephiroth conceded. "Don't worry to much about Lazard, though."

"Nuh-uh, he's going to be _my_ boss too someday soon. I want to stay on his good side. I'll be the perfect assistant."

"All right, then. Time to show me what you're made of." Sephiroth grabbed a stack of folders from the coffee table and dumped them in Cloud's arms. "Assistants have to carry my stuff, just so you know. That _is_ okay for your hand, right?"

"Not a problem, sir." Cloud shuffled the papers into his left arm and snapped a salute. "Let's go."


	25. Chapter 25

Tseng shut the door behind Reno and Rude and locked it while Rude closed the blinds. "Reno, why don't you start?" he said. "Have you found anything out about Nibelheim?"

"Once I figured out how to spell it. What kind of name is that, anyway?"

Tseng just glared and waited for Reno to start talking. Reno was good, but sometimes he wondered if it was worth putting up with his attitude.

"Right." Reno shuffled uncomfortably. "Nibelheim is home to the very first mako reactor ever built. The first president chose that location because there was lots of mako available and there weren't many people around to protest some new, untried technology. So I'm thinking that they didn't have the same safety standards back then as they do at the newer reactors. So maybe mako's leaked into the town's water supply or something and that's why the Strife kid has such a high tolerance."

Tseng nodded. "That's a reasonable guess. I don't know how we can verify it unless someone has already done a study, but I'll make a note of it. What else have you learned?"

"Well, the place was also used as a research station. Some is more public; they were studying the effects of mako on the local flora and fauna. Total bullshit results, by the way. But that's what they published. The _actual_ findings were a bit less positive. I was only able to find a few files that hadn't had the data altered.

"There were also projects done there that weren't ever publicized. I'm still digging deeper into those, but from what I've found out so far, Project J was the big one. It seemed to centre around Specimens J and S. It started about thirty years ago and was headed by Professor Gast. Professor Hojo took it over completely twenty years ago, when Gast disappeared, but he had pretty much taken over a few years before then. At least that's what I could figure out from the research notes. During the last few years, Gast wrote a lot about how Hojo was cutting him out of the project and twisting it to his own ends.

"The project's supposed to be abandoned now. Actually, there's no more research being done there at all anymore. Hasn't been for several years. And that's about it."

"All right, good job." Apparently Reno hadn't heard any vampire rumours; he's look into it later if they found themselves at a dead end. Tseng turned to Rude. "What have you been able to find?"

"Yes, sir. I've been tracking large quantities of gil from an unknown source outside the science department. It's all being funnelled into something known as Project C. Hojo appears to be at the helm of the project. I've had no luck tracing the source of it, but I do know that it's mainly being used for the purchase of new lab equipment as well as some upgrades for existing equipment. It's all being shipped out of Midgar, but tracking it has proven difficult. All I know is that it's going to the Western Continent."

"That's about as much luck as I've had, which means it's probably coming from very high up in the food chain. I'm going to ask Rufus if he can help us find the source of the funding. He's got far more experience watching where the gil is coming to and from in this company. Rufus will jump at the chance to get some more dirt on his father… assuming that's the source.

"Has anyone found anything specifically pertaining to Cloud?" Tseng asked.

Reno just shook his head, no.

"No," Rude said, "Nothing specific. Although, this 'Project C' was started shortly after the mako testing. Isn't Hojo fond of using the first initials of his test subjects?"

"Yes, he is. I suspect that the 'Specimen S' Reno mentioned was Sephiroth. But I don't want to go to him without something more concrete than an initial. Let's make sure he's got a _real_ reason to be worried, first. Keep digging."

"Yes, sir." Rude snapped a salute and he and Reno left the office. Tseng sighed and sat back in his chair. He hoped he was doing the right thing. If the funding _was_ coming from the president, was it right to keep Reno and Rude involved with it? They were essentially committing treason against Shin-Ra, although Tseng's own loyalty lay with Rufus rather than the company. He resolved to speak to Rufus as soon as he got a chance, to see how his plans were coming. If they could just get the old man out the door, things would be so much simpler.

***

"Strife, take these forms to room 4915 and don't come back without them fully filled out." Sephiroth handed Cloud a stack of papers and gave him a quick smile to go with the orders.

"Yes, sir." Cloud saluted and left the office. Sephiroth had kept him busy all afternoon. Mostly stuff like making copies and fetching coffee. He had the impression that Sephiroth was just _finding_ things for him to do, since he hadn't actually planned on having an assistant today. It was nice though, being able to spend time with him, watching him work. The life of a general really was a lot less glamourous than the media made it out to be. He had seen Director Lazard staring at him a few times when he had been out in the halls, but Cloud kept his head down and went about his work. He _would_ make a good impression. He didn't want Director Lazard thinking less of him for being with Sephiroth.

He found the right office and knocked sharply on the door.

"Come in," Zack's voice called.

Cloud eagerly opened the door. "When did you get back?"

"Spiky! What the fuck are you doing here?" Zack jumped up from behind his desk and ran over to give him a hug.

"Being an assistant for the day. When'd you get back?"

"Like, half an hour ago and the mission was pure hell. Hordes of monsters infesting the Corel fucking mines. So, I demand that you tell me those papers aren't for me."

"Sorry. I'm not allowed to go back to Sephiroth's office until they're done." Cloud smiled apologetically and held the stack out to Zack.

"Oh, come on! There's got to be like a hundred pages there! Is Sephiroth holding a grudge against me for some reason? I don't _think_ I've done anything too terrible lately."

"Except trying to take custody of me and working out Sephiroth's visitation rights."

"Exactly, nothing too terrible. _He_ didn't get in trouble for it. Ugh, you may as well sit down. This is gonna take a while. Actually, could you grab me some coffee first?"

"Sure, I'll be right back."

Cloud strode quickly down to the kitchen area but came to a screeching halt when Director Lazard's violet-suited form appeared in front of him.

"Corporal Strife, I need to talk to you. In here, please."

"Yes, sir," he said weakly. This wasn't good at all. He followed the director into a large room and sat down in one of the many chairs when he was instructed to sit.

"Please don't look so scared, Strife. I just need to ask you some questions. My office is on a different floor, so it's easiest to use the briefing room." The director took a seat opposite to him and adjusted the white gloves he wore before folding his hands in front of his face.

"Yes, sir," was all Cloud could think of to say. Any questions would probably only be about one thing.

"Just so we're on the same page, you _are_ involved in a sexual relationship with General Sephiroth, are you not?"

Cloud felt himself quailing under the director's merciless stare. He did _not_ want to talk about this. Not with someone he didn't even know. But he couldn't run out, either. That would ruin all his chances to get into SOLDIER. "Y—yes," he managed to stammer.

"Is it consensual?"

"Wh—what?"

"Strife, please calm down. You're not in trouble, I assure you. I just need to clear some things up. I need to know if your relationship is consensual. Sephiroth has a much higher rank than you; he could easily order or threaten you—"

"No! No, it's not like that, sir."

"Or bribe you with promises of—"

"No," Cloud said firmly. "I don't want or expect anything from him except to be together. He's not doing favours for me and he didn't threaten me or order me. I'm with him because I want to be!"

"Okay, okay. There's no need to get defensive. It would be irresponsible of me if I didn't at least ask."

If Cloud had had hackles, they definitely would have been standing on end. However, he managed to take few breaths and calm himself down enough to speak. "Yes, sir. I understand."

"Good. This is highly irregular, but as long as everything is fully consensual, I'll allow you to remain together. However, I do appreciate you keeping things quiet while you're at work. You've done a good job of that today, so thank you. And I suppose I should let you get back to that work. You're dismissed."

"Yes, sir. Thank you." Cloud made a beeline for the door and rushed back to Zack's office before anyone else could stop him. He slammed the door behind him and stood with his back against it, trembling with rage and trying not to cry.

"Cloud, what happened?" Cloud felt Zack's hand on his shoulder and threw himself at his friend.

"Director Lazard. He—he—he fucking asked me if Sephiroth was taking advantage of me! He thought he had ordered me or threatened me or fucking _bribed_ me into being with him! Like he would do something like that! Not that he'd _need_ to, but even if he did, he _wouldn't!_ He should know him better than that!"

"Hey, calm down, Spike. I'm sure Lazard was just making sure. He doesn't really think Sephiroth would do something like that."

"Yeah, that guy's got a huge stick up his ass and a slightly overinflated ego, but he's a good leader. He was just looking out for you." Cloud jumped and looked around the room. A SOLDIER in purple was sitting with his feet up on Zack's desk. "Hi," Kunsel said, "Long time, no see, Chocobohead."

"Cho—Chocobohead?"

"Oh, come on," Zack tightened his hold on Cloud, "Don't call him that when he's already enraged. Spike's scary when he's mad. Didn't I tell you what he did to the dummies?"

"Ah, sorry, Cloud. Don't worry, you don't look _too_ much like a chocobo. It's just, I think your adult fringe has started coming in."

Cloud glowered at him, but couldn't resist the friendly smile Kunsel presented him with and smiled back as he said, "I could have gone a while longer without seeing you again. And don't call me that again."

"I'll try to remember, but you know my memory's about as good as Zack's."

Cloud sighed, resigning himself to a new nickname. "You can let go of me now, Zack."

"Have you calmed down about Sephiroth?"

"No! That's such a bullshit answer! He _knows_ that Sephiroth wouldn't do that, but has to ask just in case? That doesn't sound like he knows at all!"

"Then I'm not letting go. Look, you know probably better than anyone that Seph's rather socially retarded. If I didn't know you, I might have worried that, even if he didn't intend it, someone of your rank could very easily feel coerced into a relationship with him. He's not good at making those things clear, or at least a lot of people think so. I think he's proven them wrong, seeing how careful he's been with you, but other people don't know what goes on in your private lives. So responsible people like Lazard have to ask. Understand?"

"I—yeah," Cloud sighed in resignation, "I get it."

"All right, then. Where's my coffee?"

"Why are you visiting with Kunsel? You don't get coffee until you work."

"You know, I like him even more now that he talks more," Kunsel piped up. "I think you should keep him."

"Oh, we fully intend to; this is one chocobo that isn't going to the farm." Ignoring Cloud's half-hearted protest at the chocobo joke, he continued, "All right, Spike, you get the coffee, three cups. Toss whatever you want into Kunsel's; I think there's some hot sauce in the fridge. Kunsel, grab half that stack and get signature forging. We'll get this done and all go for dinner together, how's that sound?"

"Are you paying?" Kunsel asked.

"Cloud can bat his eyelashes at Seph and get him to pay. Now go! Get to work, men!"

Cloud rushed off to get the coffee and came back to find Zack and Kunsel collapsed on the floor, laughing.

"This doesn't look overly productive," he said accusingly.

"Cloud," Kunsel gasped, "Your boyfriend's fucking hilarious. Check this out." He waved his hand towards the stack on Zack's desk. It was distinctly less stack-like now, though.

Cloud cautiously went over and saw exactly one form that required a signature. The rest were blank sheets. "What the—?"

"Read this." Zack held up a sheet of paper with Sephiroth's writing on it.

 _Zack,  
Have some forms! I figured you wouldn't want to do any real work after your mission, so you have my permission to hang out with Cloud for the rest of the afternoon under the guise of paperwork. Cloud had a rough morning and he's been working hard all afternoon; he could use a break, but I know he won't let me just give him one. Plus, his uniform's fucking cute and it's driving me insane. We can all go out for dinner tonight, if you want.  
Gen. Sephiroth_

"I like how he still signs it 'General' Sephiroth," Kunsel said.

"I like the part where your uniform's driving him insane. He probably wants to tear it off of you. Whadd'ya think, Spike?"

Cloud shook his head in disbelief. "I think you guys are right; my boyfriend's hilarious. I can't believe he wrote that."

"But he's stuck in his office, all alone. We can't have that… Cloud, I'm having massive problems with this paperwork. I don't even know where to start. It's going to take a general to get it all sorted out."

Cloud grinned. "On it!"

***

Cloud managed to haul Sephiroth down to Zack's office to slack off for the remainder of the day. They went out for dinner at a neighbourhood pub and spent the evening catching up on events of the past few days. Zack glared at him disapprovingly when he learned of his adventure in the slums. Cloud poked at his drink glumly; since it didn't seem like he'd be getting a lecture from Sephiroth, it seemed fitting that he'd get one from Zack instead. They made it an early night and Sephiroth walked with them back to their apartment building. Sephiroth dragged Cloud off to a dim corner to say goodnight and he could hear Kunsel and Zack laughing about chocobo-nappers. He blushed and squirmed in embarrassment until Sephiroth effectively blocked their view with his body and proceeded to kiss him senseless.

"Just ignore them, they can't see anything," Sephiroth whispered as he pressed Cloud up against the wall. His thigh was pressing gently between Cloud's legs and he couldn't help but start rubbing against it as Sephiroth ravished him with his tongue. He didn't know how long they had been there, but suddenly Zack's voice got a lot louder.

"C'mon, Seph, the bushes are no place for a cute, young chocobo to be molested. Let 'im go already."

Sephiroth growled in frustration and very reluctantly lowered Cloud to the ground. He hadn't even realized that Sephiroth had picked him up and the sudden return to standing on his own caused him to stumble. He felt like growling as well; why couldn't Zack just go in without him?

"Fuck," Sephiroth muttered. "Can I take you off duty tomorrow, too? It would be for a good reason."

"I don't think 'we were horny' really counts as a good reason. Sorry. But I'll come over tomorrow after training's finished, okay?"

"Wear your uniform, will you?"

Cloud giggled at that. "I hear you think it's cute. I don't know if I want to ruin its cuteness with what you probably have in mind."

"Please?"

"Oh, all right, I suppose. As long as you promise not to tear it."

"I promise, I'll treat it with the utmost respect."

"CLOUD! Let's go!" Zack shouted.

"I'm coming!" he shouted back.

"You'd better not be!" came the reply.

Cloud sighed and thumped his head against Sephiroth's chest. "I should go. Sleep well, okay?"

"You too, goodnight." Sephiroth gave him one final kiss and Cloud ran back to where Zack was waiting.

"You could've just gone in, you know," he muttered angrily at Zack.

"No, I couldn't have, because if I did, you might never have come in and I'm fucking pissed off at you. I want to yell _now_ , while I'm still mad. It was bad enough waiting all evening."

"Oh."

"Oh, indeed. You are one dumb little shit. I can't fucking believe you! Let's go."

Cloud glumly followed Zack back to their apartment. Cloud hoped he wouldn't yell for too long; he was absolutely exhausted.

***

"So, just in case you're secretly mad and you're saving it up or something, Zack chewed me out last night, so you don't have to," Cloud said, as he lay sprawled over Sephiroth's hair.

"Huh?" Sephiroth paused in massaging Cloud's back. "Why would I be mad?"

"Because of how irresponsible I was for going into the slums and getting drunk and having to get rescued."

"Oh. Okay, I wasn't going to. Yell at you later, that is. You felt bad enough; I didn't see a reason to rub it in. You won't do anything like that again, will you?"

"No, I learned my lesson, don't worry."

"Then there's no reason for me to be mad. You made a mistake, that's all."

"Thanks."

"Why was Zack mad? He wasn't even involved."

"I guess he was just mad that I'd do something that stupid. He yelled forever."

"I'm sorry, I hate getting yelled at. Although I'm really good at tuning it out. But I've noticed it's different when it's someone you care about who's mad."

"Yeah, makes you feel a whole lot shittier."

"Aww, do you want some hot chocolate to make it better?"

Cloud giggled. "You're so nice to me. Yes, please!"

"All right, get cleaned up and put some clothes on. I'll make your comfort cocoa."

***

"Sephiroth, can we talk?" Cloud asked as he curled up next to him on the couch with his mug of hot chocolate. His uniform was neatly folded in a stack beside the couch and he had changed into a more comfortable pair of track pants and a t-shirt.

"Sure. What did you want to talk about?" Sephiroth took the mug from him as he settled himself then handed it back and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

Cloud slurped his cocoa several times before answering, "Sex."

Sephiroth was momentarily taken aback by that, but hoped he had managed to cover his shock. "Okay… anything in particular you'd like to talk about regarding sex?"

"Umm, well, it's just, you know, umm…" Cloud's voice trailed off.

Sephiroth gave him a squeeze and kissed the top of his head. "It's okay, just say what you're thinking. You know you can tell me anything, right? There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Right, um, well, the thing is, you know that before… everything that happened, I hadn't, umm…"

"You were a virgin." Sephiroth rubbed his arm encouragingly.

"Yes. And so I don't really know—I mean, I _know_ , but—and I want to have sex, but I'm scared. It hurt so much. And I've heard so many things, and everybody says something different, and I don't know what to expect in a more normal situation. So I was wondering if maybe you wouldn't mind, I mean, you didn't seem to have any problem talking about blowjobs and swallowing and that sort of thing…"

"So, you're asking me to walk you through what it would be like?"

"You don't have to! Never mind!" Cloud squirmed in embarrassment and nearly spilled his cocoa.

"Cloud, calm down," Sephiroth took the mug away again and set it on the table. "Of course I don't mind; I think it's a good idea. If you know what to expect, I imagine the whole thing will be a lot less scary. Not knowing is one of the worst things."

"Really?" Cloud looked nervously up at him. "You don't—thank you."

"No problem." Sephiroth kissed the top of his head again. "I'll do whatever you need to make you feel comfortable. I've just got to figure out where to start." Sephiroth held Cloud close as he wracked his brain, trying to think of what Cloud would want to know. He suddenly realized that they were both making a huge assumption and it didn't have to be that way. "Cloud, you know that you don't have to be the one who bottoms, right?"

"What?"

"I mean, you can penetrate me, if you'd prefer it that way. I'm fine either way."

"I—I don't know… I hadn't even thought of that."

"Well, give it some thought. I usually top, but I can switch. For now, we'll just talk about you bottoming, but keep in mind that it's an option. Okay? And I can walk you through that too, if you decide it's something you'd like to try."

Cloud nodded. "Okay."

Sephiroth spent a moment thinking before he spoke again. "Have you thought at all about positions?"

"Umm, not—not really."

"All right, well, there are lots of positions that people can have sex in. The three basic ones would be you on your back, with me on top, you on your hands and knees, with me behind you, and me on my back, with you on top, sort of… riding. The last one would give you the most control."

"No," Cloud said with certainty. "I don't like that one. It sounds a lot like…"

"You're right, it would be much the same position as back then. How about the other two?"

"The first one sounds nice. You'd be facing me?"

"Yes."

"And would you be able to kiss me?"

"I would. And you'd be able to use your hands and legs to guide me."

"That would be good, I think."

"Okay, we'll go with that for now. So we'd start out with lots of foreplay. It might be good if you came first, just to help you relax a bit. Don't worry, we can take our time and have you ready to go again."

Cloud nodded. "Guess it's good that I'm young."

"That's very true. When we're ready, I'll prepare you using my fingers. I'll use lots of lube and make sure you're stretched really well so I won't hurt you. You'll lie on your back and spread your legs and I'll position myself between them. I'll bend your knees and probably have you rest your legs on my hips so the angle's a bit better.

"When I enter you, the first bit is the hardest. Once the head is in, the rest is much easier. It's usually best to get that over with quickly. It might hurt a little bit, but I'm hoping I'll have prepared you well enough that it won't. After that, I'll go very slowly. It will feel strange and probably a bit uncomfortable, but it shouldn't _hurt_. If it does, I want you to tell me right away. I'll move gradually and give your body time to adjust. You'll need to try and stay as relaxed as possible or it will hurt. If you need me to slow down or wait, just say so.

"When I'm all the way in, I'll stop until you've adjusted and completely relaxed. I'll wait for you to tell me it's okay, and then I'll begin moving. I'll try to be very gentle, but if you want or need me to change my pace, just tell me. I'll use my hand to stroke you, since most men can't get off on penetration alone. Once we get a rhythm going and you get used to it, it should stop feeling uncomfortable and start feeling good. Hopefully really good."

"Hopefully," Cloud agreed with a slight tremor in his voice.

"Hey, don't worry." He planted several reassuring kisses on Cloud's head. "I'll make sure you enjoy yourself. And if you don't like it, or get scared, we can stop. At any time. Got it?"

"Got it."

"Good. Do you have any questions?"

"Umm, what about… when… when you come? Where will…?"

"That's up to you, Cloud. I can pull out or I can come inside you."

"It's usually inside, isn't it?"

"That doesn't matter. Whatever you're comfortable with is what we'll do. I just need to know beforehand, is all."

"Okay, I'll think about it."

"All right. Any more questions?"

Cloud shook his head. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. If there's anything else, just ask. I promise I don't mind at all." He ruffled Cloud's hair affectionately, invoking a protesting whine. "Now that we're done with all that sexy talk, do you want to watch a movie?"

"Sure."

"All right, you pick one out and I'll go make some popcorn. Do you want your hot chocolate reheated?"

"Heh, I totally forgot about that. Yes, please."

Sephiroth grabbed the mug off the table and discreetly adjusted his pants as he walked to the kitchen. After their activities earlier, he wouldn't have thought that just talking about sex would get him so turned on. Although… it was more that he was talking about the prospect of sex with _Cloud_. Oh well, they could spend the movie necking. And Cloud could take his time and mull things over. He felt a small surge of pride as he realized that not too long ago, he probably would have thought that Cloud asking about sex meant that he was ready. But he knew that wasn't the case and that Cloud needed more time. And that was okay.

He _was_ glad, however, that Cloud had brought it up. Things seemed to go much smoother when Cloud knew exactly what to expect. He had hesitated to bring up the topic himself, in case Cloud thought he was getting impatient and trying to pressure him. But now that they had discussed it, hopefully, when the time came, there wouldn't be any freak-outs. The microwave beeped and he took out the hot chocolate and grabbed the popcorn bowl. Cloud had a blanket wrapped around him and was leaning awkwardly, holding himself up against a vacant space on the couch. He looked like he was waiting for someone to fill that void and Sephiroth hurried over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it just me, or are the Corel mines freaking infested with monsters? How did the miners get anything done? How did any miners survive long enough see their town be destroyed? Surely stopping production every couple days because of monsters and waiting for Zack to decide he has time to go on that mission would be a little costly. Okay, that was totally random. I seem to be talkative today, sorry. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	26. Chapter 26

_Attn: General Sephiroth  
Re: Mission assignment_

 _Please prepare for a mission to the town of Nibelheim; the mission will include an inspection of the local reactor. Reports of an increase in monster attacks on the town have been received. Regular army has been sent for a preliminary investigation, but a problem with the reactor is suspected, which will require the attention of SOLDIER. Locals are distrustful of Shin-Ra activity, so the decision has been made to send the General for this mission, to inspire confidence. Unless the situation is different than expected, you will leave in two weeks. Please choose a small team to accompany you as security._

 _Lazard Deusericus, SOLDIER Director_

Sephiroth smiled as he looked at the memo; SOLDIER exams were coming up at the end of the month and Cloud still hadn't gone on a mission since the last, disastrous, one. He was sure that accomplishing that would give Cloud a huge boost to his confidence. And this was the perfect opportunity; a mission to his hometown would have the advantage of being familiar territory for him, if he was nervous about it. And, Sephiroth thought, it would be a chance to see where Cloud grew up. Anything that would allow him to learn more about Cloud was a good thing.

***

"Cloud, would you like to come on a mission with me?" Sephiroth, for once, was over at Zack and Cloud's apartment and was watching Cloud put toppings on their pizzas. Zack would be coming back soon with Aerith, and Wilson was also supposed to be showing up. It had taken a bit of convincing to get Sephiroth to agree to come to dinner when Wilson would be there, but Cloud won after declaring that that was fine, Sephiroth didn't have to come if he didn't want to. And they would have dinner without him.

"What sort of mission?" Cloud asked. "Pass the mushrooms over here, please."

"Here." Sephiroth handed him the cutting board with the mushrooms on it. "It's to Nibelheim; a monster hunt and a reactor inspection. Should be relatively simple."

"In Nibelheim?"

"Yeah, it would be a chance for me to see where you grew up."

"Dunno why you'd want to do that… pepperoni."

Sephiroth handed over the pepperoni after grabbing a slice for himself. "Because I want to know everything about you. I know it's not got the best memories for you, but you've mentioned your mom to me lots of times. I'd really like to meet her."

"You want to meet my mom?"

"Sure. I hear it's a sort of rite of passage for boyfriends. Is that weird?"

"No, it's not weird. I just didn't think you'd want to do that. I've been meaning to tell her I'm gay, it's just… hard when I'm so far away."

"So this is a good opportunity."

"Yeah… I guess." Cloud distractedly sprinkled cheese over the pizzas and appeared to be thinking hard.

"Are you nervous about telling her?"

"Not really, I mean, she might be totally shocked and horrified at first, but I know she loves me. She'd come around."

"Then what's wrong? Is it the thought of going on another mission?"

Cloud's hand shook and a bunch of cheese fell onto the floor.

"Hey." Sephiroth came over behind him and took Cloud's hand in his own, wrapping his other arm around his chest. "Hey, it's okay to be scared. Can you tell me exactly what it is? Or is it just the idea in general?"

"I—I dunno, I guess it's the idea in general."

Sephiroth turned Cloud around so he was facing him and tilted his head upwards. "Cloud, I'm not going to let _anything_ happen to you, I promise. And think of how hard you've been training. You're so much stronger now. You can use magic, you can fight with a sword, your hand to hand's greatly improved; you can take care of yourself. I _know_ you can. This mission will be different from the last one too. There's nothing sentient opposing us, just some monsters. And AVALANCHE is completely gone now; we destroyed them."

"I know. And I know I'm going to have to go on missions when I'm a SOLDIER. All right." Cloud nodded firmly. "I'll go."

"Good, I'm glad. It's not going to be for a couple of weeks, so you've got some time to prepare yourself. And if there's anything you need to talk about, I'm here."

"Thank you." Cloud shifted nervously, then blushed and looked away. "Sephiroth, I love you."

Where did that come from? And what was he supposed to say? Sephiroth cared about Cloud, that was a certainty, but was that love? He panicked silently as silence seemed to overwhelm the room. It had only been a second or two, but it seemed like an eternity.

"I just wanted you to know, don't worry about it." Cloud was turning even redder as he turned back to the pizzas.

"No, I—"

"Honey, I'm home!" The door banged open and Sephiroth silently thanked every god he could think of for Zack's timing.

Cloud smiled at him. "Really, don't worry about it, I understand," he said quietly. "Is Aerith with you?" he asked in a louder voice.

"I'm here, Cloud," Aerith called. "And James is here too; we met in the elevator."

Cloud tossed the pizzas in the oven and went out to the entranceway to say hello to everyone. Sephiroth ignored them, and instead went to sit and think in the living room. He didn't have much time to himself, however, before Zack came in and had the audacity to kick him on the shin.

"How come you're being all anti-social, Seph? Something happen?"

"No, not really. Would you mind not calling me 'Seph' while Wilson's here?"

"Yes," Zack said simply. "It's hard enough remembering not to call you that at work. You're not working now, so I'm calling you 'Seph'."

Sephiroth sighed and rubbed his temples. "Whatever."

"Wow, you're not going to fight me over it? What's got you so worked up?"

The sound of Cloud laughing came from the kitchen; at least he didn't seem upset that Sephiroth hadn't told him he loved him back. "I asked Cloud to come on a mission with me. To Nibelheim. I thought it would be a good opportunity for him."

"You're going to his hometown? That's awesome! I want to come too! Or did he refuse to go? Is that why you're upset?"

"No, he didn't refuse. He was nervous, but I talked to him about it and he agreed to go."

"Well, that's good. You're getting good at this talking thing. So where does the problem come in?"

"He—Can we go somewhere else?"

"Sure, we can go out on the balcony. I take it you just don't want to be overheard?"

Sephiroth nodded and Zack pulled back the curtains covering the sliding door. "This thing opens… in theory… I don't actually use it that much. Opening it usually requires SOLDIER strength." Zack put some muscle into it and the door grudgingly screeched as it slid open. "Damn," he said when they were outside, "Now I've got to close it."

Sephiroth sighed and easily slid the door shut. "There."

"Show off," Zack muttered. "So what happened? Cloud doesn't seem like he's upset about anything."

"No, he doesn't…" Sephiroth looked out at the violent array of colours of the sun setting behind the plate. The toxic chemicals in the air made for some beautiful sunsets. "He told me he loves me."

"Finally! It's about time! He's been working up his nerve for ages."

"You knew?"

"Of course! Anyone with half a brain can tell he's madly in love with you. Also he talks to me about it a fair bit. He's been freaking out about it since you guys had that big fight. But isn't that a good thing? How does someone telling you he loves you lead to pouting in the corner?"

"I didn't know what to say!"

"Uhh, did you consider 'I love you too'?"

"I didn't want to lie to him."

"You—what? How would—Okay, back up a sec. What?"

"I didn't want to lie to him. If I told him that I loved him as well, it would be dishonest."

"You're saying you don't love him?" Zack said sternly.

"I don't know! I care about him, but love's different, isn't it?"

"You know, sometimes, just sometimes, mind you, I wonder how someone so smart can be so stupid. But then I remind myself that you're Sephiroth, and you're different from the other kids. I really need to start charging a fee for helping you…" Zack pulled two plastic chairs out from under a tarp and sat down in one. "Okay, Sephiroth, tell me, how do you feel about Cloud? You don't have to come up with names for the emotions, just tell me how you feel when you're around him. Or when you're away from him."

Sephiroth sat down, feeling very much like an idiot child. "I—I don't know."

Zack banged his palm against his forehead. "Try. Imagine you haven't seen Cloud for two days and he's coming over in half an hour. How do you feel?"

"Excited."

"More excited than if it was just me coming over? Don't worry, you won't hurt my feelings."

"Yes. I can't wait to hear about what's happened while we've been apart."

"Because the life of a trooper is that thrilling?"

"Not really, but I like listening to him talk. He tells me about little things, like what he was told was for lunch and what he thinks it _really_ was. Or something funny that happened during guard duty. It doesn't matter what he talks about, I just like hearing it."

"So how do you feel when he's around?"

"Happy."

"And when he's not around?"

"Like… like there's something missing."

"You don't feel complete without him? But you're an individual; you can get by just fine on your own."

"I know that. But there's just something about having him near. It makes me happier than I've ever been. I want to feel like that all the time."

Zack smirked knowingly. "And what about when he's sad or scared? How does that make you feel?"

"I want to cheer him up. And if he's scared I want to comfort him until he's not scared anymore. I can't be happy if he's not."

"Do you think he feels the same way about all that?"

Sephiroth nodded. "Yes… I think so."

"Okay!" Zack stood up all of a sudden. "You think _really_ hard about what you just told me, and see if you can come up with an emotion that might match all that. I have homemade pizza to eat." He paused with his hand on the door handle, "You can eat pizza while you think, I suppose. If you want. And Sephiroth, I love you, too. Not the same way as Cloud loves you, obviously, but I love you nonetheless."

"You love me?"

"Of course I do, you're my best friend. There's no way I could put up with your idiocy if I didn't love you to bits. There're a lot of different kinds of love, ya know. It's not just limited to your boyfriend or girlfriend. So think about that, too. But don't hurt yourself." With that, he pulled the door open and jumped over the ledge to get inside. "Brrr! It is _freezing_ out there!"

"Duh," Cloud said dryly. "It's winter. What were you doing out there?"

"Just talking. Where's my pizza? Did you make the one I asked for?"

"Tragically, there were no toads for sale at the supermarket. You're going to have to bring some back the next time you go to Gongaga."

"You wanted… toad pizza?" a stunned voice said.

"'Course I did, Jimmy! Touch-Me's taste like chicken, only with mildly hallucinogenic properties. It's fantastic. You ever go to Gongaga, you've gotta try it. But not while you're on duty."

"Umm, yes, sir."

"I can't believe you got squicked at the thought of eating wolf, but you eat toads. Wolf is way more normal than toad," Cloud muttered.

"Wolf? Wolf isn't normal! You country people are insane."

"We're not insane, we're just more creative than you. But for now, we'll suffer through normal toadless, wolfless pizza. And don't call me 'sir'. Although General Crankypants might appreciate it if you still called him 'sir'.

"No way," Cloud spoke up. "He insisted that I call him Sephiroth when we were off-duty when we were still just friends. You can call him Sephiroth."

"Don't I get a say in this?" Sephiroth slid the door shut behind him. It had been difficult to think while listening to talk of toad pizza, so he decided to let it be for now.

"Nope," Cloud gave him a quick hug, "It won't kill you to be called by your name. Now let's go eat before it gets cold."

"Okay." Sephiroth pressed his lips to Cloud's forehead. Wilson smiled at him awkwardly and Sephiroth chose to simply ignore him. He may have to put up with his presence, but that didn't mean that he had to like him. Although he did feel the slight urge to brag that _he_ would have eaten the toad pizza even though he was from the city too.

***

"So I hear you told Sephiroth something pretty big today," Zack said as he scraped at the pizza stones.

"He told you?" Cloud asked.

"Yeah, he was…"

"Panicking?"

"Pretty much. Are you upset?"

"No. I know he loves me, even if he doesn't realize it. He tells me every day with his actions, so if he can't put it in words, that's fine. He was just being so… well, loving, today that I had to say it. I needed him to know. I didn't mean to cause a panic."

"Nah, it's good for him; gets him thinking. Don't worry, I talked about it with him and I think he's got enough information now to figure it out. He's a smart boy once you point him at the answer and give him a shove."

"He's not _that_ bad. He just doesn't know what the emotions he feels are. But he _does_ feel them. That's what counts."

"I'm so glad to hear you say that. I was kind of dreading having to try and explain it, if you were upset. So in a similar, yet entirely different vein, how far have you guys gotten?" Zack gave up on the stone and left it to dry. "Let's go sit down."

"Sure." Cloud grabbed a glass of water and went and sat on the couch.

"So…?"

"So your attention span isn't _that_ short. Oh well, it was worth a shot."

"Hey! Come on, you don't need to give me all the gritty details, but I ask because I care."

"I know, I was just joking, dork. We've gotten pretty far, actually. Though we still haven't had sex."

"You're still not ready?"

"I dunno, I think… I think that maybe soon. Oh! Gaia, it was so embarrassing! I've been thinking about it a lot and I mean, I don't know what to expect, really, so I asked him if he could maybe explain what it would be like."

"Wow… that was… brave of you."

"That's what I thought. So he explained. In _explicit_ detail. And I was all shocked, because I was expecting something like a basic outline. Instead it was educational porn."

"Ha! That's what you get for asking an army man to explain something. You _will_ understand."

"He didn't even blush once through the whole thing! But, it helped, I think. So that's the main thing. It probably helped a lot more than a basic outline would have too."

"That's good! That's probably what he was hoping. If he explains absolutely everything, in detail, there's less of a chance that you'll get scared. He doesn't do things half-assed, you know."

"Yeah, I'm beginning to get that impression. It was so sweet of him, though. I'm still nervous, but I don't think I'm _scared_ anymore."

"Well, don't rush yourself. You've got time; take it."

"I won't. The last thing I want is to freak out and get scared all over again. I want to _enjoy_ sex, dammit!"

"That's the spirit! Sex is meant to be enjoyed. And I know Sephiroth wants you to enjoy it. He'll wait as long as it takes."

***

Sephiroth poured himself a drink and went and sat out on his own, significantly nicer, balcony. He stared out at the glowing, green horizon and thought about what Zack had said. He supposed it came down to what exactly love was. He had been told his entire life that he wasn't capable of feeling it, so he had never thought about what it might mean. But both Cloud and Zack seemed to think he _was_ capable, and Zack, at least, had implied that he did love Cloud. Sephiroth sighed and rattled his ice cubes around in his glass; emotions were far too complicated.

Cloud loved him. That was apparently a fact. He didn't _think_ Cloud felt a whole lot differently about him than he did about Cloud. Maybe love wasn't much different than caring a lot about a person. He sighed again and set his drink down; the problem was he didn't know what love really meant. He went inside and hauled a large book off of one of his shelves. He brought it back outside and sat back down with his drink. Flipping through the pages, he located the 'Ls' and flipped ahead until he found the entry for 'love'.

 **love _noun, verb_  
-noun  
1.** a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

He definitely felt that for Cloud.

 **2.** a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

That one applied as well.

 **3.** sexual passion or desire.

Definitely that one, too. He scanned down to the verb definitions.

 **15.** to have love or affection for: _All her pupils love her._  
 **16.** to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).  
 **17.** to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: _to love music._

He certainly took great pleasure in being around Cloud.

 **18.** to need or require; benefit greatly from: _Plants love sunlight._

He was even pretty sure he needed Cloud. Or at least he benefited greatly from him; considering how everyone kept saying how much more pleasant he was to be around now.

 **19.** to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.

Sephiroth smiled; they did that a lot.

 **20.** to have sexual intercourse with.

Well, they hadn't yet, but they would eventually, he was sure. And it was pretty far down on the list. Sex seemed to be less important that the emotional aspects of the definition.

That was what he felt; he was certain. He looked back up at number two, was that what Zack was talking about when he said that he loved him too? Maybe Hojo and all the other scientists had been wrong. He snorted; it wouldn't be the first time. So, according to the dictionary, he did love Cloud. He shook he head sadly at the fact that he was so stunted, he actually had to look it up in order to realize it.

He loved Cloud.

"Shit!" Sephiroth dropped his drink with a crash and ran inside. Cloud had told him he loved him and he hadn't said anything back. He ran down the stairs as fast as he could in his bare feet. He could make it right. He would tell him now and Cloud would forgive him for being an idiot one more time.

***

Cloud was jolted out of a dead sleep by what sounded like someone trying to break down the door. He glanced around his room and saw the shadow of Murasame leaning in the corner. While he considered going to get it, he heard Zack's footsteps going down the hall.

"Stay in your room, Cloud," Zack said quietly as he passed Cloud's door.

Cloud sat, unmoving, on his bed, eyeing his materia bracer on his bedside table. It was okay; he could defend himself.

"The fuck?" Cloud heard Zack mutter from the entryway followed by the lock being undone. "Sephiroth! What the fuck are you doing here? It's three in the Gaia-damned morning!" Sephiroth was here? Cloud wondered if something was wrong.

"I need to see Cloud."

"Are you drunk? Do you know what time it is? He was sleeping! You scared us both half to death!"

"I'm not drunk and I know what time it is, I just really need to see him. Come on, you can't stop me, Zack."

Cloud wrapped his blanket around himself and padded out into the hallway. "It's okay, Zack." He gestured Sephiroth towards his room and smiled apologetically at Zack. "Come in." He turned and went back into his room, sitting on the bed and yawning widely.

"Sorry," Sephiroth said as he sat down beside him.

"It's no problem, just keep your voice down so Zack can get back to sleep. What did you want to see me for?"

"I love you too."

Cloud blinked slowly at him. That wasn't exactly the heartfelt admission he had hoped for, but it would do. "I know you do, silly. I'm glad you figured it out." Cloud wrapped his arms around Sephiroth's chest and hugged him tightly.

"You knew?"

"Of course. You tell me every time I see you. How could I not know?"

"I… didn't realize. I'm sorry." Cloud felt strong arms wrap around him in return and he smiled as he leaned on Sephiroth's shoulder.

"Don't be sorry. I understood why you didn't say it this evening and I'm so happy you're saying it now. Can I go back to sleep now?"

"Of course, I'll let myself—"

"Don't even think about it. You're staying right here." Cloud pulled at Sephiroth until he moved up on the bed and lay down. He covered them with the blanket and lay down with his head resting in the crook of Sephiroth's shoulder. "Goodnight, Sephiroth. I love you."

"I love you, too, Cloud." Sephiroth's whispered words were everything he had ever wanted to hear. He shut his eyes and listened to Sephiroth's steady heartbeat as he was lured back into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definition of love ©Dictionary.com. Wow, that html was a bitch.


	27. Chapter 27

Cloud finished going through his pile of equipment once again and sighed, leaning back against his bed. "Do you think I'm forgetting anything?"

"I think you've got everything you might possibly need," Sephiroth answered. He was sitting on the bed leaning up against the headboard, patiently watching Cloud go through his things.

"I should pack it again to make sure everything fits." Cloud grabbed his bag and started neatly placing things inside until a hand on his arm stopped him.

"Cloud, I know you're nervous, but it's going to be okay. You need to stop worrying about it. We don't leave until Monday; you've got plenty of time."

"I know. I'm just… procrastinating."

"Procrastinating?"

"I've been thinking a lot lately and… I think I'm ready to have sex." Cloud paused and glanced up at Sephiroth, whose hand was still on his arm. "If you want to, that is."

"I do. Are you sure?"

Cloud nodded firmly, he had probably spent far too long making sure that he was making the right choice. Far too many sleepless nights were spent building up his confidence and reassuring himself that it would be all right. "Yes, I'm sure. I don't mean right _now_ , but, maybe tonight?"

"Okay, we can do that." Sephiroth leaned down and kissed Cloud chastely. "Hey, I have an idea. Grab some warm clothes and your winter boots; there's somewhere I want to take you."

"Um, okay. How warm are we talking?"

"It'll be pretty cold this time of year, so grab a sweater or two and your winter coat. Warm pants would be good too."

"All right." Cloud grabbed a couple wool sweaters out of his closet as well as a pair of mitts and a toque and scarf his mother had knit for him. He went out to the coat closet and pulled out his winter coat and a pair of lined pants with a waterproof shell. "Good?" he asked Sephiroth, who had followed him.

"That should be good. Don't put everything on now, or you'll get overheated in the car."

"Where are we going?"

"I want it to be a surprise. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine. I like surprises."

Cloud followed Sephiroth out to his car and dumped his things in the back seat.

"Wait here for me, I just need to grab a few things from my place," Sephiroth said. "Here, take the keys."

"Okie dokie." Cloud sat in the driver's seat to turn on the car, then crawled over the passenger side and began fiddling with the radio. He found a station he liked, sent a quick mail to Cissnei, and sat back, listening to the music and wondering where they could be going. They were almost certainly leaving Midgar; the city never got very cold, even in the middle of winter. Definitely not cold enough to need two sweaters and a jacket.

He glimpsed Sephiroth approaching in the side view mirror; he was carrying a duffel bag and a couple of plastic grocery bags. Cloud leaned over and popped the trunk and heard it slam shut several seconds later. Sephiroth got in the car and leaned over to kiss him.

"Thanks for waiting," he said. "Ready to go?"

"Yep. Let's hit the road!"

Once they got through all the city traffic and out onto the main highway, Sephiroth put the pedal to the floor and they made good time. Cloud kept the window cracked to stave of any nausea. Fortunately, it wasn't too bad on the smooth highway. They were heading north, but Cloud couldn't figure out where they might be going. There were signs for various small towns along the highway, but there was nothing big located in that direction. Eventually, he stopped trying to figure it out and leaned against the window watching the scenery. The further they got from Midgar, the more plants and wildlife he began to see. After over two hours of driving, Sephiroth finally pulled to a stop in a tiny roadside turnout. The trees surrounding the turnout were bent to the south and Cloud tasted salt in the air when he stepped out of the car.

"Are we at the ocean?" Cloud asked excitedly, despite the answer being obvious from the sound of waves crashing nearby.

"Yes, this is where I come when I need to escape from the world for a while. Get your warm clothes on and I'll show you my favourite spot." Sephiroth went around to the back of the car and took off his jacket. He put a long-sleeved shirt on, and then put the jacket back on.

"I can't believe those are your warm clothes," Cloud muttered as he pulled on his two sweaters followed by the jacket and pants. He wrapped his scarf around his neck, and put his toque and mitts on. The wind was bitingly cold and, even though he felt a bit like a marshmallow when he was all bundled up, he was glad that Sephiroth had told him to bring them.

"I've got you to keep me warm." Sephiroth came up behind him and buried his face in Cloud's scarf.

"I think you've got it backwards; you're supposed to keep _me_ warm, Mr. Super SOLDIER."

"Oh, right, I guess I could do that." Sephiroth threw the duffel bag over his shoulder and grabbed the grocery bags. "Ready?"

"Yep, I'm all set. Want me to carry something?"

"No, you're going to need your hands free to balance. It's a bit tricky getting there, especially when it's windy like this."

"Oh, okay."

Sephiroth took Cloud by the hand and led him towards the beach. It was all rocks and they were slippery from the sea-spray. The occasional lump of seaweed didn't help, either, and Cloud found himself picking his way very slowly along the rocks. They reached a narrow trail that went up a cliff and Sephiroth lead the way, tightening his grip on Cloud's hand.

"There are places along the cliff face that you can hold onto. And I won't let you fall," Sephiroth said.

"It's okay, I'm not scared."

"But you're afraid of heights."

"I trust you a lot more than I trust some string; I know _you_ won't let me fall," Cloud said firmly. "Lead the way."

It _was_ scary walking up. The path was covered in loose stones that skidded underfoot. But every time his foot slipped, Sephiroth had turned around to steady him before he even realized it. It was cold and slow going as the wind battered against them, but eventually Sephiroth led him through a small opening in the cliff face. It was pitch black inside and Cloud followed Sephiroth confidently, trusting him to keep him safe.

A light appeared on his left and Sephiroth walked towards it. The tunnel they were in narrowed, then suddenly widened, and they were standing in a circular cave overlooking the ocean. Still holding Sephiroth's hand, Cloud cautiously crept towards the mouth of the cave and looked down. It was a _long_ ways down and at the bottom there was nothing but rocks sticking out of the water. But the view was beautiful and the sound of the waves crashing against the cliff wall below was soothing.

"This is _amazing_ , Sephiroth. How did you ever find this place?"

"I escaped from the labs one time, maybe fifteen years ago, and ran until I reached the coast. I knew they'd be looking for me, so I looked for a place I could hide and I found this. I got hungry after a couple days, though, and I didn't want anyone to find out about it, so I went back on my own. Ever since then, I've been coming here when I need to get away. Tseng is the only other person who knows it exists, and even he's never actually seen it."

"Thank you for showing it to me." Cloud felt stunned that Sephiroth would bring him somewhere so private; it was obviously incredibly important to him. "Fifteen years ago? You were… nine? And you ran all this way?"

"Not quite nine, I think. But yeah, it's amazing how far you can run when you've got enough inspiration."

Cloud turned around and hugged Sephiroth tightly. "I'm so sorry you had to grow up like that. I can't even imagine how awful it was."

"Thank you. But we're not here to cry about the past. Come on, help me out a sec." Sephiroth opened his duffel bag and took out a tarp that they spread out on the damp ground. He also took out a couple of blankets and set them on the tarp. "There's lunch in the bags, if you want to set that out."

"Sure." Cloud pulled out half-a-dozen sandwiches, a bag of chips and some drinks while Sephiroth spread out one of the blankets.

Sephiroth pulled off his boots and stepped onto the tarp. "Come sit," he said.

The wind wasn't too bad in the cave, so, after shucking his boots, Cloud paused. "Are you going to keep me warm?"

"Of course," Sephiroth laughed.

With that, Cloud pulled off his outer layers as well and sat down, practically _on_ Sephiroth, who pulled him even further onto his lap and wrapped the other blanket around both of them. Cloud pulled the food closer and handed Sephiroth a sandwich.

"Thanks." Sephiroth kept one arm wrapped around Cloud's waist while they ate and would occasionally rub his arms and wrap the blanket a bit tighter around them.

They ate in a comfortable silence, both of them just enjoying their closeness and the beauty of their location. The incoming waves were somewhat hypnotising and Cloud found his mind drifting away as he stared at them. When they finished eating, Cloud didn't feel like moving, so he just snuggled close and relaxed in Sephiroth's arms, enjoying the peace of the moment.

"You're certain you're ready?" Sephiroth eventually broke the silence.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"And you know you can change your mind at any time? There's no point of no return."

"I know."

" _Any_ time. Even right in the middle of things."

"I understand, Sephiroth, really. Please, don't worry."

"I'm not worrying, I just want to make sure that's clear."

"It is. I promise, if I get scared, I'll tell you to stop."

"Okay." Sephiroth nodded firmly. "Have you made a decision? About what you want me to do when I come?"

"I—I think… I think I'd like you to pull out."

"All right, that's what I'll do."

"You're sure that's okay?"

"Of course it is, Cloud. We're doing whatever will make you feel the most comfortable. Don't worry about anything else. Do you have any more questions?"

"Umm, well, I was wondering a bit what it would be like after? I mean, will there be blood or will I be sore?"

"There won't be _any_ blood. I _promise_ ," Sephiroth said vehemently and squeezed him protectively.

"Oh, good. I didn't think so, but I wanted to make sure." Cloud smiled in relief.

"You might be a bit sore, like after you've worked a new muscle group a bit too hard. I can use a Cure on you afterwards if you want."

"I can handle a bit sore; I kind of like that feeling."

"Well, tell me, if it's too much. You'll be stretching those muscles a lot more than you have before, so don't hesitate to say something."

"I won't," Cloud said simply.

He shut his eyes and listened to Sephiroth's heart beating over the crashing of waves and cries of the seagulls. There was no place in the world that he would rather be than in Sephiroth's arms. And no time he would ever feel as safe as when Sephiroth held him. He was ready for this; he knew it.

***

By the time they got home from dinner, the peacefulness of the afternoon had worn off and Cloud was a bundle of nerves again. It must have shown on his face, because Sephiroth led him to the couch and pulled him down to sit beside him.

"Relax," Sephiroth said, "Let's just watch some TV, okay?"

Cloud nodded and Sephiroth switched the television on to some random program and turned down the volume fairly low. He tugged at Cloud to rearrange them until they were both lying on their sides, with Cloud's back against Sephiroth's chest. They watched reruns of an old comedy for over an hour before Sephiroth did more than hold him and trace his fingers along his arm.

Cloud felt warm breath tickle his ear as Sephiroth leaned in closer to kiss a soft line along his jaw down to his chin. He turned his head towards him and Sephiroth continued giving him tiny kisses; moving up from his chin, across his lips, to the tip of his nose and up to his forehead. He cupped Cloud's cheek and kissed each eyelid in turn. He moved back to his nose and then pressed his lips to Cloud's once again, this time, a bit more firmly. Cloud felt him pull gently at his lower lip and sighed slightly as a thumb traced over his jawline and down his throat.

Strong fingers slid around behind his neck and pushed up through his hair. Sephiroth brushed a stray strand of hair out of Cloud's eyes before cupping his cheek once more. He pulled at Cloud's lip a bit harder and Cloud opened his mouth slightly, allowing Sephiroth to dart his tongue in. Cloud immediately attempted to wrap his own tongue around it and reached up to twist his fingers through Sephiroth's hair. He turned a little bit more until he was lying on his back and Sephiroth shifted to accommodate him without breaking their kiss.

As they kissed, Cloud traced his hands over Sephiroth's back, feeling out all the muscles and tracing along the contours of his spine and shoulders. He moved one hand around to his side and ran his fingers along the bumps marking each rib. Sephiroth pushed up and rested his weight on one arm, allowing Cloud to sneak his hand between them to touch his chest. The fabric of Sephiroth's shirt was soft and smooth and his fingers moved easily over it. He scrunched it up and gripped it tightly as Sephiroth ran his hand up his side and brushed over a hardened nipple. Cloud arched his back into the touch and Sephiroth took a moment to stop and play. He drew back his head slightly and nipped lightly at Cloud's lower lip before sucking it into his mouth. Cloud fumbled clumsily with his mouth, trying to do _something_ , but was largely unsuccessful as Sephiroth bit, licked and sucked on him. In an attempt to gain _some_ control, Cloud pulled up Sephiroth's shirt and found a nipple to coax into hardness.

"Doing okay?" Sephiroth paused long enough to ask.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Good." Sephiroth began attacking his neck now, and Cloud gave up on reciprocation for the time being and just bared his throat. He'd have marks tomorrow and he was strangely glad for it. He wanted people to be able to see the proof that they belonged to each other.

Sephiroth abruptly pushed Cloud's shirt up over his head and tossed it on the floor, then immediately picked up where he had left off. He moved further down and traced his tongue in a line along Cloud's collarbone. He paused then, and brought his hand up to delicately touch the necklace that Cloud was now forbidden to take off. Cloud actually really liked it, despite its function as a tracking device. Sephiroth had had it custom made at the jeweller's for him and Tseng told him that Sephiroth had designed it himself.

Cloud saw the regret in Sephiroth's eyes and touched his face gently. "I love it," he said, "It's beautiful and I'd never take it off anyways. I chose to be with you, Sephiroth, and I chose to do whatever I need to do to stay with you. Please don't regret that."

"I don't. I really don't. I just wish—"

"Don't. It's a beautiful gift from my loving boyfriend, that's all."

Sephiroth smiled then and withdrew his fingers from the necklace. "Okay, I can accept that." He leaned down to kiss Cloud again, but Cloud used the opportunity to pull off his shirt instead. He then reached up and pulled Sephiroth down towards him, taking control of the kiss this time.

***

Sephiroth pulled Cloud back so he was sitting up, leaning against his chest and leaned around so he could kiss him. Cloud could feel Sephiroth's hardness pressing into his back and fought the urge to rub against it. They had both lost their pants quite some time ago, but Sephiroth hadn't allowed him to do much in the way of touching. He gripped Sephiroth's well-muscled thighs as long fingers traced a tickling trail down his chest and wrapped around him, squeezing gently.

Cloud gasped against Sephiroth's lips as he began stroking. He had no idea what he was supposed to do with his hands in this position. He just tried to keep them out of the way as best as possible while Sephiroth worked him using both hands. One hand stroked firmly while the other alternated between cupping his balls and gently tugging on them, tickling his inner thighs, and rubbing and pinching at his nipples. Soon enough, all conscious thoughts of where his hands should be had vacated his mind. He simply shut his eyes and kissed Sephiroth as much as he could, enjoying the pleasures his touches were providing.

When he began thrusting hard into Sephiroth's hand, Sephiroth sped up his strokes and Cloud felt his gut tighten in warning before a surge of pleasure ran through his entire body. He clutched vainly at Sephiroth's legs as he writhed against the overwhelming sensations. Warm liquid spattered down onto his stomach and he shuddered as Sephiroth continued stroking until he collapsed in a boneless heap. He leaned against Sephiroth's chest, gasping for air, while Sephiroth covered his face in kisses.

"How're you doing?" Sephiroth asked when Cloud's heart rate had gone back down to a more reasonable level.

"Mmm… really good." Cloud mumbled happily. "Oh, I haven't changed my mind; if that's what you're really asking."

"A bit of both. Do you want to move into the bedroom?"

"Yeah. Can I get cleaned up a bit first?" The drying semen was starting to get a bit uncomfortable.

"Course you can. Come on." Sephiroth stood and swept him up in his arms as he did so. Cloud laughed and flailed his arms and legs in a mock attempt to get down. He didn't struggle for long, however; it was more fun to put his own marks on Sephiroth's neck instead. When Sephiroth attempted to set him down on the bathroom counter, he held on and Sephiroth was forced to get a washcloth and wet it while Cloud sucked on his neck.

An ice-cold cloth smacked onto his back and Cloud let out an embarrassingly high-pitched shriek at the shock. "Hey!"

"That's what you get for being a distracting little vampire. At least _your_ uniform will cover any hickeys."

"You can tell people you got attacked by a fangirl." Cloud leaned back against the mirror while Sephiroth ran hot water over the washcloth. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror on the medicine cabinet; he looked so dishevelled but somehow… he thought he maybe looked kind of sexy too.

"I'd rather tell them I got attacked by you." Sephiroth wrung out the cloth over Cloud's stomach and warm water splashed down on him and ran in little rivers across his skin. It ran over his groin and Cloud felt himself twitch in response. Sephiroth got the cloth wet once again and repeated his actions; this time he rained the water down directly on Cloud's cock. He wiped the cloth gently over his chest and stomach and then wet it again. He slowly dragged the soaking wet fabric down his torso and over his groin.

Cloud glanced sideways at the mirror and his heart skipped a beat at the sight. His face was flushed and he could watch his cock slowly returning to life. Sephiroth was hard as a rock and he was staring at Cloud with a look full of both lust and caring. Sephiroth carefully and sensually washed him clean and Cloud was panting and moaning by the time he grabbed a towel to dry him off. He pulled Cloud off the counter, which was covered in water by that point, and set him on his feet. The soft towel felt wonderful as Sephiroth gently rubbed him dry. He dropped the towel once the task was complete and tilted Cloud's head up to kiss him.

Sephiroth gently guided him out of the bathroom and across the room to his bed. When the backs of Cloud's legs touched the bedframe, he broke the kiss and lay down on his back. Sephiroth paused and looked at him tenderly for a moment, before lying down next to him. He propped himself up on his elbows and opened the drawer in his bedside table.

"I'm just getting it out so we don't have to go searching later," Sephiroth explained as he pulled out the tube of lubricant.

"It's okay, I'm not scared. A little nervous, sure, but that's not the same thing."

"I know it's not. I just didn't want you to think I was rushing you."

"Thank you." Cloud reached over to touch Sephiroth's hand. You know," he said as he kissed each finger in turn, "I think you might be the most caring person I've ever met." In all honestly, Cloud was shocked that Sephiroth was being _this_ restrained. He had come a long ways since they had first started dating. He _had_ to be feeling impatient by now, but Cloud would never be able to guess from the way he was acting.

Cloud kissed Sephiroth's palm before timidly giving it a lick. His skin tasted slightly salty, but it was a nice taste and he liked the way Sephiroth's breath caught when he did it. Cloud smiled and licked a line from Sephiroth's palm up his index finger and wrapped his lips around the tip. He held Sephiroth's wrist with both hands and sucked his finger into his mouth. He pulled back, letting go with a small popping noise and turned his hand over again. He kissed his way across Sephiroth's palm and up his arm, stopping at the crook of his elbow to lick at the surprisingly sensitive skin there.

He felt a hand in his hair and looked up at Sephiroth, who seemed to be enjoying himself immensely. He was leaning against the headboard, breathing heavily, while he looked at Cloud. Cloud smiled and gave his elbow a final kiss before moving up and straddling Sephiroth's lap. He wrapped his arms around Sephiroth's shoulders and kissed him roughly with swollen lips.

"I'm ready, Sephiroth," he said breathlessly.

"You sure?"

"Positive. Please."

Cloud felt Sephiroth reach over to the bedside table and heard a cap pop open. He jumped slightly at the first touch of the cold gel to his backside, but it warmed up quickly as Sephiroth began spreading it around. He felt a slight pressure at his entrance before a single finger slid smoothly in. Cloud moved his knees slightly further apart and arched his back. Sephiroth slid his finger slowly in and out; he wiggled and curled it, only occasionally brushing over the spot that made Cloud see stars. There was a different purpose to his ministrations this time.

Cloud felt a second finger nudging gently at him and he took a deep breath. Sephiroth's other hand rubbed the small of his back and he carefully pressed both fingers in. Sephiroth's fingers were bigger than his own and the stretched feeling was strange. He did his best to relax though; he'd get used to it, he tried to reassure himself.

"Do you want me to stop? Am I hurting you?"

Cloud suddenly realized just how tightly he had been holding onto Sephiroth and relaxed his grip a bit. "No," he shook his head, "It doesn't hurt. It just feels weird."

"I understand." Sephiroth changed his angle slightly and Cloud gasped. All thoughts of it being weird fled his mind as Sephiroth took his erection in hand and gave him a few strokes while he massaged him from the inside. Once Cloud was moaning and beginning to thrust back on his fingers, he resumed his careful stretching. "Is it okay if I put you on your back now?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's fine," Cloud said breathlessly.

Sephiroth withdrew his fingers and smoothly rolled Cloud over. "Can you lift your hips a bit?" Cloud did so and Sephiroth grabbed a pillow and placed it underneath him. "Comfortable?"

"Yeah."

"Good, just lie back and relax." Sephiroth stretched himself out beside him and grabbed the lube again. The two fingers were moving easily now and it wasn't long before a third was gently prodding him. Sephiroth leaned down and kissed him as a distraction.

They repeated the process Sephiroth had employed so successfully earlier and, before he knew it, Cloud's breath was coming in gasps while Sephiroth thrust into him.

"Does it feel good?" Sephiroth mumbled against his lips.

"Uh-huh. I—yeah, it's good." Cloud blushed slightly in embarrassment, as his coherency appeared to have vacated the premises.

"Do you think you're ready for more?"

"Yes." This felt good, but Cloud wanted more. He wanted to feel _Sephiroth_.

"All right." Sephiroth gave a few more thrusts before slowly drawing his fingers out.

Cloud suddenly giggled nervously, "Now it feels strange with nothing."

"We can fix that," Sephiroth said as he spread some lube over his erection and wiped his hands off on a towel Cloud hadn't realized was lying on the bedside table. Sephiroth moved up between his legs and lifted each one in turn, placing them on his hips. Cloud shifted them into a comfortable spot and waited while Sephiroth adjusted the pillow slightly so Cloud's ass was sticking up a little bit higher. "Remember what I said about the first part being the hardest?"

"Yeah."

"Okay," Sephiroth took Cloud's hand and gave it a soft squeeze, "I'm going to position myself, then I want you to take a deep breath, and when I tell you, let it out. That's when I'm going to push, okay? I'm going to push until the head is in, and then I'll stop and we'll take the rest slowly, like we talked about."

Cloud nodded and managed an apprehensive smile. Sephiroth arranged himself and Cloud could feel the tip of his erection pressing against his entrance.

"Ready?" Sephiroth asked. Cloud nodded again and Sephiroth rubbed his knuckles comfortingly. "Okay, relax your whole body and take a breath. Good. Now let it out."

Thick flesh pushed quickly past the tight ring of muscle and Cloud couldn't help but let out a slight cry at the feeling. It hurt a little bit, but nowhere near as much as it had the first time, and then the pain stopped and Sephiroth was touching his face and murmuring encouragement.

"Good, Cloud, that's it. You're doing great. Just relax. Are you okay? Does it still hurt?"

Cloud took a few more deep breaths and relaxed his muscles as much as he could. "I'm okay. It's just… kind of uncomfortable."

"All right, your body will adjust to that, don't worry. I'm going to start pushing in a little bit further, just a bit at a time. I want you to breathe with me, okay? Deep breaths, in and out. Good, just like that."

Sephiroth somehow kept up a steady monologue while he slowly and steadily pushed his way into Cloud's body. Cloud was sure it had to be hard for him; but Sephiroth seemed to have detached himself from anything _his_ body was feeling and was focusing solely on Cloud. He hoped it wouldn't be like that through the whole thing. He wanted Sephiroth to enjoy himself too, but for now, he was grateful that he was being so attentive.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of gentle rocking back and forth, Sephiroth was fully seated in Cloud's body and he leaned down to give Cloud a slow, sensuous kiss. Their tongues twined together and a drop of sweat fell from Sephiroth's forehead and ran down the side of Cloud's face.

"You're doing great, Cloud," he said when he pulled away. "How are you feeling?"

"A bit full."

"But not like panicking or anything?"

"No, I'm okay, I think. I—Can you give me a minute to get used to it?"

"Of course, let me know when you're ready." Sephiroth held his lower body perfectly still while he gently stroked Cloud's face and brushed some errant strands of hair out of his face.

Cloud closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing and relaxing his muscles. His body began gradually adjusting to the foreign presence in it and, finally, he gave a short nod. "Okay, I'm ready."

"All right, we'll start out slowly. Tell me if it hurts at all." Sephiroth reached between his legs and grasped Cloud's flagging erection and gave it a few strokes. As he did so, he began thrusting shallowly. It was rather uncomfortable and Cloud soon found himself clinging to Sephiroth's shoulders, waiting for it to start feeling good. Sephiroth paused and looked at him with concern in his eyes. "Tell me if you don't like it, too, Cloud. Please, you're not going to hurt my feelings; I'm trying to work out what you like and don't like. Saying you don't like something doesn't mean we have to stop, it just means we'll try something else."

"Sorry, I just—"

"Shh, it's okay, you don't need to apologize." Sephiroth pushed himself up a bit and withdrew slowly until he was almost all the way out. He shifted his angle slightly and thrust back in. Cloud gave a loud, pleasured cry as Sephiroth hit that spot at the perfect angle and stroked him in time. "Better?" Sephiroth asked.

"Better."

"Good." Sephiroth did it again and again and Cloud was soon clinging to Sephiroth because it felt so good he needed _something_ to cling to to keep himself grounded. Sephiroth tried a number of different angles and different thrusting patterns; some Cloud liked, some not so much, but he didn't hesitate again, to say so when he didn't like something. And it came across loud and clear when he liked it. Sephiroth was clearly still holding himself back and more focused on Cloud than on himself, but he did appear to be enjoying himself, if the blissful look on his face was anything to go by.

When Cloud hesitantly began thrusting back, Sephiroth smiled widely at him. "That's it, Cloud," he said, "You're doing so great." He stilled his own thrusting then, and Cloud floundered, unsure of what to do. "Keep going," Sephiroth instructed. "Use your legs as leverage. Show me what you like."

"I—I don't know. I probably can't."

"You can do it, Cloud. Don't worry, just give it a try. There's nothing to be afraid of."

Cloud nodded determinedly. Sephiroth was right; it wasn't like he was going to laugh at him if he wasn't any good. He adjusted his legs, wrapping them around Sephiroth's back and used them to lever his hips upward. Sephiroth grunted his appreciation and Cloud tried it again, a bit harder this time. He continued on his own for a little while, watching, fascinated, as Sephiroth clenched at the sheets and bit his lip in concentration. It was hard work, though, and his leg muscles tired quickly. When he started slowing, Sephiroth quickly took control again and began thrusting into him a bit harder and faster than before. They were working together now, and although Cloud kept losing the rhythm, Sephiroth didn't seem to mind at all.

He took Cloud's erection in hand again and began stroking him, rubbing his thumb over the tip and pressing it down into the slit. Cloud was gasping for air as the sensations threatened to overwhelm him. When they finally did, Cloud writhed helplessly as Sephiroth pounded into him and his hand flew over his cock. The most he could manage was using his legs to encourage Sephiroth to thrust harder. His toes curled and he could feel his muscles clenching tightly around the hardness inside him. He barely registered the come landing as far up as his face, but he did register Sephiroth leaning down to lick it off.

He grasped at Sephiroth's head and groped desperately with his lips and tongue, needing to kiss him, to taste him. Sephiroth obliged for several moments, but then pulled back.

"Cloud, I need to—" he started breathlessly.

"No. I changed my mind. Don't pull out."

Sephiroth slowed down. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I want you inside. Please." Cloud had been thinking that having Sephiroth coming inside him would feel dirty and weird, but he was certain that wouldn't be the case. There couldn't possibly be anything _dirty_ about someone he loved so much.

Sephiroth nodded once and sped up his thrusting again; his mouth was slightly open and his hair was falling over his shoulders and lying in silver pools at Cloud's sides. A drop of sweat was threatening to fall from the tip of his nose. Cloud reached up and grabbed a handful of hair near his scalp and gave it a gentle tug, provoking a loud shout from Sephiroth. His entire body stilled for a split second before a shudder ran through him and he began thrusting even faster. Cloud felt wet warmth as Sephiroth released himself into him and it felt _good_.

Sephiroth let his arms collapse and buried his face in Cloud's neck as he rode out his climax. Cloud wrapped his arms around his broad shoulders and held him close. When his hips finally stilled, they both lay there gasping for several long, but wonderful minutes. Sephiroth's softening cock inside him felt strange and Cloud could feel some of the come seeping out and trickling down. Sephiroth eventually planted several kisses on his neck and pushed himself up. He reached down between their bodies and slowly eased himself out of Cloud. He then collapsed on the bed next to him and gave him a tight hug, rolling Cloud so he was half lying on top of him.

"You okay?" Sephiroth asked quietly.

"Better than okay," Cloud replied with as much energy as he could muster, which, granted, wasn't a lot. "So much better than okay."

"Really? You're not in any pain?"

"No, but even if I was, it wouldn't matter. That was… thank you, Sephiroth. I never thought it could be like that."

"Dummy. You don't need to thank me. Tell you the truth, I didn't think it could be like that either. I guess it does make a difference; being with someone you love."

"I love you too," Cloud mumbled sleepily. He was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. He felt Sephiroth moving out from under him and protested weakly, "Don't go."

"I'll be right back, I promise, okay? Then I'll hold you all night, if that's what you want."

"Mm'kay, you'd better."

***

Sephiroth smiled to himself as he got out of bed, like there was anything that could stop him from coming back. He quickly went to the bathroom and cleaned himself up. He looked in the mirror at the bite-marks Cloud had put on him and smiled again. They'd be gone by the morning, but for now, they were a badge of pride. He grabbed a clean washcloth and wet it; he also took a fresh towel off the shelf and walked quietly back into the bedroom. Cloud was fast asleep and he looked an absolute mess. He hair was sticking out in every direction, he was covered in lube, come, and sweat, and his flushed lips were curled into a blissful smile. Sephiroth smirked; he did that. And this time, he was proud. That was what sex was supposed to be: messy, exhausting, satisfying, and fun.


	28. Chapter 28

An obnoxiously loud song blaring out of his PHS caused Sephiroth to wake with a start. He fumbled blindly for it and resisted the urge to crush it when his hand closed around it. Instead he flipped it open without bothering to look at the caller ID.

"Fuck off." With that, he snapped the phone shut and turned his attention to Cloud, who was shifting sleepily in his arms. "Go back to sleep," he said softly.

"'Kay." Cloud snuggled in a bit closer to Sephiroth's warmth and stilled.

His PHS rang again and Sephiroth silenced it before it had a chance to wake Cloud up again. This time he looked at the caller ID before he answered. "Zack Fair," he whispered as menacingly as he could, "If headquarters isn't completely engulfed in flames and Wutai ninjas aren't bursting into the president's office through the windows, I'm going roast you alive and serve you for dinner."

"Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Who pissed in your cornflakes?"

"You did, Zack. What do you want?"

"You didn't tell anyone I was coming on the Nibelheim mission. I'm in Lazard's office now and he's trying to send me to Corel. Fix it! I want to meet Cloud's mom too!"

"You woke me up for that? You… never mind, give the phone to Lazard."

"Sure thing."

There were some shuffling noises and then Lazard's voice trailed out of the speaker. "Good morning, Sephiroth. Zack is telling me tha—"

"Yeah, whatever, he wants to go on the Nibelheim mission, right? He's got my authorization, let him come." Sephiroth closed his phone again and lay his head back down on the pillow. Cloud, fortunately, appeared to still be sleeping and Sephiroth smiled at the peaceful picture he made. When the phone rang a third time, he nearly tore it in half in his rage at being disturbed again.

"Fuck off, Zack!"

"That was rude; you hung up on the director. Are you busy or something?"

"Are you just being an asshole because I forgot to put you on the mission roster? Because one brief mention of wanting to come at a party does _not_ count as an official request."

"No, you're acting weird and I want to know what happened. Did you have another fight with Cloud?"

"No, I didn't. We had a very good night last night, actually, and I was looking forward to sleeping in. It's not weird."

"Really? What'd you do?"

"None of your—" A hand reached up and grabbed the phone away from his ear.

"We had sex, Zack. Now fuck off, stop calling, and let us enjoy what's supposed to be our perfect morning after." Cloud sounded _very_ annoyed as he hung up on the shrieks of glee coming from the speaker.

"Sorry," Sephiroth said.

"Not your fault. But if he calls again, can we kill him?"

"We most certainly can. Preferably with as much pain as possible."

"Good. Can we pretend that never happened and go back to sleep and wake up again for the first time?"

Sephiroth smiled indulgently. "Sure. It's way too early to have woken up, anyways."

Cloud tilted his head up to give him a quick kiss. "Thanks," he said as he snuggled back into his place in Sephiroth's arms. Sephiroth adjusted the blanket and shut his eyes. If Cloud wanted a perfect morning after, he'd get it.

***

Sephiroth dozed for about an hour; he had always had trouble falling back to sleep once he had been woken up in the morning. But he was content to doze and listen to Cloud's peaceful breathing. Cloud eventually stirred and yawned widely.

"'Morning," Cloud mumbled against Sephiroth's chest. "Did you get back to sleep?"

"Good morning. Yeah, I did."

Cloud pushed back and squinted at him through one eye. "Liar. You never go back to sleep. But thanks for letting me; I was tired."

"You can sleep longer if you'd like. I don't have anywhere to be."

"Nah, I'm ready for our morning after now. I don't want to waste it by sleeping through the whole thing."

Sephiroth chuckled; Cloud was strange sometimes. "So what do you want to do for our perfect morning?"

"Hmm, first thing's first, I want to say I love you and that I had a lot of fun last night."

"Me too. To both of those points."

"And then I think we should have breakfast. I want something deliciously unhealthy. With lots of sugar and butter and sausages."

"How about French toast with bacon? I don't have sausages."

"That would be fantastic. And I want it in bed."

"You've thought about this a lot, haven't you?"

"Um..." Cloud blushed. "A little. Is it okay?"

"Of course it's okay. I'll go start cooking."

"No, no! Well, yes, but I want to cook together."

"Oh, okay. I thought you wanted breakfast in bed?"

"I do, but that doesn't mean I can't help make it." Cloud sat up and winced. He picked at some white flakes on his stomach and winced again as they pulled at the fine hairs. "I'm going to wash up a bit first, though."

"Sorry, I tried to clean you up last night as best I could, but you were curled up and I didn't want to disturb you too much."

Cloud blushed again, probably at the idea that Sephiroth had washed him while he was sleeping. "Right, thanks, I guess you—um, well, thanks." He stood and made his way over to the bathroom, grabbing a pair of sweats out of his drawer on the way.

Sephiroth smirked as he watched him go, he didn't really care if it was embarrassing; it was uncomfortable to sleep with come leaking out of your ass, and worse waking up in the morning. He had found that out the hard way. Cloud came out a few minutes later looking much more awake and refreshed. "Are you feeling all right?" Sephiroth asked.

"My muscles are a bit sore, but I'm not hurting. Thanks. For being so gentle."

"You're welcome, although you really don't need to thank me for that. I'm glad you're not in pain. Means I did what I promised."

Sephiroth took his turn in the bathroom, then headed into the kitchen, where he found Cloud hauling ingredients out of the fridge. Sephiroth stopped and stared. Cloud was wearing an apron that Zack had given him as a gag gift years ago; it was pink, with lacy ruffles, and it was covered in bright red lips with 'Kiss the Chef' written in curly letters across the front.

"Not a word, Sephiroth," Cloud said calmly. "You're the one who owns it. You're better at making French toast than I am, so I'm cooking the bacon. I didn't want to wear a shirt, but bacon spits and that hurts. Hence the apron."

"I see…" Sephiroth walked over to Cloud, picked him up, and proceeded to ravish him with his lips. Cloud was gasping and sputtering with surprise when he set him back on the floor. "Just doing as I was instructed," he explained innocently.

***

Sephiroth hauled out a dusty tray that he had never actually had an opportunity to use and carried their breakfast to the bedroom with it. Cloud hauled off his apron and piled up the pillows so they could sit up while they ate. Sephiroth set the tray on the bedside table and crawled in beside him.

"Hungry?" he asked.

"Very. Last night was hard work."

"That it was. But it was worth it." Sephiroth grabbed a plate and loaded it with several slices of French toast and bacon. He drizzled lots of syrup over the whole thing and grabbed a knife and fork. He cut of a piece of toast and held it out to Cloud. Cloud laughed, but obediently opened his mouth, accepting the offering.

"This is going to get so messy, I can tell," Cloud said as some syrup dripped down onto his chest.

"But sheets can be washed and showers can be taken." Sephiroth leaned down to lick up the spilled syrup. "I've never had breakfast in bed before and I expect it to be fun."

"Me too. Lots of fun." Cloud picked up a piece of bacon and brought it up to Sephiroth's lips. He carefully took it and sucked the extra syrup off of Cloud's fingers while he was at it.

It took a long time to actually _eat_ their meal and Cloud's prediction turned out to be very, very true. They went through an entire bottle of syrup and Sephiroth figured it would probably be easiest to just throw out the sheets and get new ones. But that could be dealt with later; for now, he had a massive hard-on and a very sticky boyfriend sucking on his nipples.

"Do you want to take a shower?" he asked.

"Uh, right now?" Cloud sounded a little disappointed.

"There's room for two in the shower."

"Oh. Ohhh! Okay!" Cloud happily paused his attentions and crawled off of Sephiroth's lap. "Um," Cloud paused shyly at the bathroom door, "Can I wash your hair?"

Sephiroth almost tripped over his own feet. Yes, yes, fuck yes! He attempted to compose himself and frame a slightly less desperate sounding answer, however. "Of course you can, I'd really like that." There, that wasn't too bad.

Cloud was shucking his pants when Sephiroth came into the bathroom and he enjoyed the view while Cloud turned on the shower. He tested the water with his hand before shooting a grin in Sephiroth's direction and stepping in. Sephiroth quickly followed him into the warm spray. It didn't take him long to have Cloud pressed up against the tiles while water trailed over them, washing the sweat and grime away. Eventually, he pulled away and grabbed the body wash. He made a show of pouring it out and lathering it between his hands before he nudged Cloud out of the direct spray and started washing him, starting from the top.

Cloud trembled and clutched at the shelves while Sephiroth ran his slick hands over almost his entire body. He paid special attention to in between his toes, enjoying the sound of Cloud nearly growling with impatience.

"Sephiro-oth…" Cloud whined in protest.

"Yes? Did you want something?"

"Stop teasing."

"I'm washing you, not teasing. There's a difference."

"Not from where I'm standing."

"Hmm… you're very impatient." Sephiroth paused with Cloud's foot in his hand and look up. Cloud looked absolutely desperate, in fact, he looked like he was tempted to just grab his own cock and go at it. "You want me to touch you?"

"Yes…"

"Can I blow you?"

"Um, I don't—I mean—I know I said I'm not in pain, but I don't think I want to have sex again so soon…"

Sephiroth pondered that for a moment, puzzled by what Cloud was getting at. He wasn't asking for sex… "Are you still trying to balance things out so we're even, Cloud?"

"Um, maybe… Sorry, I know you said, but I just—I dunno."

Sephiroth sighed. He really wished Cloud could stop thinking like that. "Look at it this way, then," he said, rubbing soap into Cloud's thighs, "You offered to wash my hair. That's a pretty damn heroic undertaking, and I'll enjoy it more than you can imagine. That's definitely worth head, in my opinion. I'm not trying to convince you if you don't want it, but if you _do_ want it, we'd be even so there'd be nothing to worry about."

Cloud laughed at that. "That last bit made very little sense, so you know. All right… but I'm going to do a _really_ good job on your hair."

"Can't wait." Sephiroth smiled and guided Cloud under the water to rinse off the soap. When he was rinsed, he nudged him towards the wall and kissed his way down Cloud's chest.

***

"Okay?" Sephiroth asked as he held Cloud upright. His legs didn't seem to be terribly keen on the idea of standing.

"Yeah, I'm okay. It was good," Cloud got the words out between gasps for air.

"Was it better that I didn't swallow?"

"Um, I think it would have been okay if you did. It mostly just surprised me last time."

"I see… Okay, next time."

"You're so cavalier about it," Cloud muttered good-humouredly. He took a deep breath to steady himself. "Okay, get your hair wet and… how are we going to do this? Betcha you're not so smug about being tall now."

"No," he said as he stepped under the water to wet his hair, "I'll always be smug about being tall. I'm just disappointed in your shortness." Sephiroth grinned and stuck his tongue out at Cloud. "If you want, you could sit on the bench and I'll sit on the floor."

"And to think Zack said _I_ was a smartass. All right, that'll work." Cloud grabbed the shampoo and conditioner, set it next to the bench, and sat down.

Sephiroth unhooked the shower nozzle and let it fall across the floor. That way he wouldn't have to stand up to rinse the shampoo. He knew he had gotten that particular showerhead installed for a reason. He settled himself between Cloud's legs with his head in his lap and Cloud gathered up his hair and draped it over his leg.

"It's a good thing you came," Sephiroth remarked absently, "Otherwise you'd be poking me in the back of the head."

"You're not funny. Now shush and close your eyes so I don't get shampoo in them. I'm not a professional and I'd hate to blind you."

Sephiroth obeyed his orders and shut his eyes while Cloud heaved up a mass of hair and began working shampoo into the ends. He worked his way up, occasionally stopping to dole out some more shampoo.

"How much shampoo do you normally use?" Cloud asked as he reached for the bottle for the fourth time.

"A lot. Use as much as you want, there's more under the sink. Same goes for conditioner."

"You probably have enough stashed under there to last the entire army for a year."

"Probably. What can I say? I like my hair."

"I like it too. Please don't ever cut it off."

"That's one thing you never have to worry about. The woman who trims it is terrified to cut off more than half an inch. It's a bitch to get her to even shorten my bangs a little. Something to do with alleged threats about what would happen if she cut it too short when we first met."

"I can't believe you terrorized your hairdresser!" Cloud had worked his way up to Sephiroth scalp and was massaging his fingers over it. He had to fight to keep himself from moaning in pleasure.

"Growing my hair out was my first big step towards independence from the lab," Sephiroth explained in an attempt to distract himself from his twitching cock. "I started growing it after that little escape incident I told you about. I think my plan was that, if it was long enough, I could use it as a blanket, and then, if I brought food with me, I could stay away for longer without getting cold and hungry. Hojo hated it and demanded that I cut it. So I threw tantrums, attacked anyone who came near me with scissors, and generally caused chaos and a lot of gil's worth of damage until he caved. It means a lot to me."

"Hmm." Cloud gave his hair a firm tug.

"Fuck!" Sephiroth bucked his hips and squeezed his fists until his knuckles turned white.

"I think you've just got a huge hair kink," Cloud said teasingly. "But I suppose the same could be said for me since I like playing with it so much. 'Kay, toss me the nozzle and I'll rinse this."

Sephiroth leaned his head back over one of Cloud's legs while Cloud rinsed the shampoo out. He took extra care in making sure that none got in Sephiroth's eyes. His left hand constantly pushed any water back, off his forehead, and Sephiroth couldn't help but smile at his concern. When it was rinsed, Cloud twisted his hair into a long rope and wrung out the excess water. Grabbing the conditioner, he began at the ends again, taking his time and making sure each strand was coated. Sephiroth was breathing heavily and his cock was leaking by the time Cloud got to his scalp.

Gentle fingers worked their way over his scalp, scratching at the base of his neck and rubbing firmly over his hairline. Cloud massaged his temples while using his thumbs to rub the soft area at the back of his head. Sephiroth felt his hand drift lazily between his legs and he gripped himself, stroking slowly and without purpose, just adding to the pleasure Cloud was giving him.

"Do you want me to do that?" Cloud asked quietly.

"No, just… keep doing what you're doing," Sephiroth said huskily. "Unless… do you mind?"

"Not at all." Cloud leaned over and nipped at his lips. "You look so hot right now. And you've been so patient."

Cloud continued with his massage while Sephiroth lost himself in a blissful haze. Cloud would occasionally take fistfuls of his hair and pull backwards, working the conditioner through. It made Sephiroth groan in appreciation every time. Eventually, he had had enough of his slow pace and sped up his strokes. Cloud noticed the change and started digging his fingers in a little deeper and pulling a little harder. Sephiroth braced his feet against the shower walls and pumped himself furiously. When Cloud used his nails to scratch a trail from his hairline to the base of his neck, Sephiroth shouted out his release. He kicked one leg blindly and heard something shatter and a startled cry from Cloud.

"'S okay," he somehow managed to mutter while his body shuddered and writhed. Cloud had stopped touching his hair, but Sephiroth was too far gone to care much. He worked himself until he collapsed backwards into Cloud's lap, gasping for air.

"Hey, are you listening to me? You're bleeding! That's _not_ okay. Pay attention!" Cloud sounded rather panicked and Sephiroth lazily opened his eyes to see what the fuss was. His left leg had gone through the glass door of the shower and blood was running freely down it.

"Ah, shit…"

"Gaia, Sephiroth! You've got glass sticking out of your leg and all you can manage is an 'ah, shit'?"

"Um, sorry?" Sephiroth sat up and hauled his leg back into the shower. "Don't move, okay? I don't want you to get cut." With that, he quickly rinsed out his hair and washed off the evidence of his climax, then shut off the shower and looked closely at the glass in his leg. It was a relatively small piece and it didn't appear to have hit anything major; he gripped it carefully and prepared to pull.

"What are you doing!?"

"I've got to remove it before I can heal it, Cloud."

"Shouldn't we call a doctor?"

"It's fine, I've dealt with much worse than this in the field. A doctor isn't necessary." With that, he gave a firm pull and the glass slid smoothly out, followed by a stream of blood. Cloud looked like he was going to make a run for it, either to get help or to get away from the crazy man pulling glass out of his leg, Sephiroth wasn't sure. He repeated himself just to be safe. " _Don't_ move, Cloud. There's glass all over the floor. I'm fine." He leaned over and grabbed a towel off the rail and pressed it against the wound for a little while until the bleeding slowed. Cloud obeyed his instructions and didn't move from his spot, but he looked very wild-eyed.

"Stay," Sephiroth said one final time, then took a calculated leap across the glass. He landed next to the door and exited the bathroom. He wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation, but didn't think it would be safe to do so until his leg was healed and Cloud was out of the bathroom. He grabbed his bracer and put it on, activating the Restore he kept in it. His leg healed and he watched the small bits of glass getting pushed out of the cuts on his feet. There was something oddly fascinating about that. When that task was done, he grabbed his boots and went to retrieve Cloud.

Cloud was still looking upset when he came back, but all traces of it were wiped from his face and his jaw dropped when he saw Sephiroth. Sephiroth smirked. Sure, he could have gotten a pair of shoes or possibly regular boots, but being naked except for his thigh-high boots had been the surest way to make Cloud happy again. Or so he had hoped. And he was very glad to see that his prediction was right as a broad grin broke out over Cloud's face.

"Why haven't you worn them before?" he demanded.

"Whatever do you mean? I wear them all the time. And I'm just being practical; there's glass on the floor."

"Bull! You picked them on purpose. You've got slippers right by your bed that would have been far more practical."

"Well, maybe I thought you'd like the sight a little. Do you?" Sephiroth purred the question as he stepped into the shower and bent to pick up Cloud.

"Yes! You _have_ to wear them again sometime! With no pants. No pants is key."

"I could do that," he said as he adjusted Cloud on his hip. "We could have lots of fun with that, I'm sure. I could wear my boots, you could wear your trooper uniform…"

***

Sephiroth had just finished getting dressed after proving to Cloud that his leg was fine, when there was a loud knock at the door. He grumbled and rolled his eyes at Cloud before going to answer it. The door opened to reveal Zack grinning brightly and wielding a gift basket with Aerith behind him holding a bouquet of flowers. Sephiroth attempted to slam it shut, but a booted foot got in the way.

"Dammit, Zack, I thought we told you to fuck off!"

"You did. Cloud said he wanted to enjoy a perfect morning. It's now thirteen-oh-seven. A good hour and seven minutes past morning, and therefore, we have arrived to celebrate."

Aerith grinned apologetically as she followed Zack inside. "Sorry, I held him off for as long as I could, but you know Zack."

"Yes," Sephiroth grumbled, "Unfortunately, I do."

"These are for you." Aerith held out the flowers and Sephiroth accepted them dubiously. He had never been quite sure what to make of flowers. They seemed rather pointless since they always died after a few days. But people seemed to like them, so he fished an appropriately sized glass out of his cupboard and filled it with water for them.

"Zack!" Cloud's shriek echoed through the apartment and Sephiroth ran out of the kitchen to see what was wrong. "Do I see what I think I see? I'd better not, if you like your current state of well-being."

Cloud was peering through the wrapping on the gift basket looking horrified. Sephiroth set the flowers down on the coffee table and went over to see what the problem was.

"Oh, good, Seph's here, you can open it now, Cloud."

Cloud looked up at him with trepidation in his eyes and held out the basket. "Do you want the honours?" he asked hopefully.

"Not really," Sephiroth said as he took the basket, "But I suppose we should open it."

"I kept him from getting too carried away," Aerith piped up.

"If I really saw what I think I saw, you failed miserably."

Sephiroth gave up on trying to see through the wrapping and just tore it off. There was a large bag filled with cookies, some muffins, and a pair of fuzzy handcuffs that he could see immediately. He picked up the cuffs using one finger and held them out. "Yes, Aerith, I'm inclined to agree, you failed miserably."

"You're only saying that because you have no idea what he _wanted_ to put in!" Aerith defended herself. "Trust me, it could have been a lot worse."

"I wish I didn't have such an easy time believing that." Sephiroth set the toy to the side and glanced over at Cloud, who looked a little upset. And he _really_ wished that Zack would think before he acted sometimes. Aerith wasn't much better if she had actually been screening what went in the basket. Although, he wasn't sure how much she knew about what had happened, so maybe she didn't realize. He reached out and gave Cloud's knee a squeeze. "We'll send those back with these two idiots, okay?"

"Right." Cloud nodded and reached for the cookies, revealing a tube underneath them.

"Lube?" Sephiroth asked. "You got us lube?"

"Sure, you probably went through a ton, I'm just making sure you can keep on having lots of sex," Zack answered nonchalantly.

"Zack!" Aerith and Cloud both gave him a smack on the arm.

Sephiroth picked up the bottle and examined it. It was one he had never tried before, but it actually looked to be a fairly high quality brand. And it was flavoured… interesting. He saw Cloud looking over his shoulder and turned it to show him. "Peach flavoured, could be fun."

"It doubles as massage oil," Aerith added.

"Hmm," Cloud pondered it, "We could maybe keep that one."

Zack let out a whoop of delight and Cloud laughed, burying his face in Sephiroth's hair to hide his blush. They went through the rest of the, fortunately normal, gift basket. It was mostly snacks, which suited both of them just fine. Cloud was thrilled with the cookies; from the look on Zack's face, it seemed like they had gotten the entire batch.

"So," Zack said excitedly, "How was it?"

"That's none of your business, Zack!" Cloud blushed furiously and hid his face again. Sephiroth nodded his agreement and glared at Zack.

"Come on! Spill! We've been waiting for this forever!"

"Zack, we're not telling you anything, it's between us, so stop asking." Sephiroth shot a glare at Aerith too, just for good measure. She wasn't saying anything, but she looked _far_ too curious. And a little too disappointed that they weren't sharing.

"You guys suck." Zack shook his head sadly. "We wanted to hear all about your sexcapades." Zack stood and wandered off in the direction of the bedroom and Sephiroth didn't think much of it; Zack always used the master bathroom for some reason. And then Zack started shouting. "What the fuck happened in here!?" He came running out of the room with a panicked look on his face.

"Oh, there was an accident this morning. I'll get someone in to clean it up while we're gone." Sephiroth both heard and felt Cloud giggling from where his face was still buried in his chest and smiled.

"There was an accident? It looks like someone was murdered! Whose blood is that?"

Aerith got up and hurried into the bedroom to check it out for herself.

"It's all mine, don't worry," Sephiroth said.

"How did it happen?"

Cloud giggled again and Sephiroth figured a little bit of the truth, just enough to tease, would be all right. "Cloud was washing my hair and I slipped; my foot went through the door."

"You… slipped."

"Yes."

"General Sephiroth, the man known throughout the world for his strength, agility, and athleticism _slipped_ in the shower and put his foot through a glass door."

"Yes."

"While Cloud was washing your hair."

"Yes."

"You honestly expect me to believe that's _all_ he was doing?"

"It was!" Sephiroth protested.

Cloud looked up from his spot and nodded vehemently. "It's true! I was just washing his hair. Well, conditioning, actually, but still, that's all I was doing."

"Riiight, I believe you, not to worry."

"Good," Cloud said, "You totally should believe us when it's truth." Cloud snuggled into Sephiroth's chest again—Sephiroth was beginning to think that Cloud just like it there—and added very softly, "It's just not the whole truth."

***

"Okay," Cloud said as he sat back from his bags, "I think I'm all packed."

"Good," Zack said exasperatedly. "Now don't you dare unpack it again. Stop being so obsessive and come watch some TV."

"Sorry, I can't help it."

"I know, just calm down as best you can. You need to get a good sleep tonight. Or at least the best sleep you can manage."

Cloud sighed and stood up, he knew he'd be awake all night. He wasn't sure what was worse, the mission or the fact that he was going back to Nibelheim before he was a SOLDIER. Zack had insisted that he spend the night at home so he'd get some sleep, but Cloud knew that he'd sleep much better in Sephiroth's arms. It was always so hard to worry about anything when Sephiroth held him. He followed Zack into the living room and took his seat on the couch.

When a commercial came on, Zack turned to him with a look of concern on his face. "I know you think it's none of my business, but I've got to ask. Sephiroth took care of you too, right?"

"What?"

"I mean, he made sure you enjoyed yourself too?"

"Of course he did!"

"Okay, just checking. And he didn't hurt you, did he? I've seen him in the locker room and, you know, he's big and you're small and—"

"Zack! No, he didn't hurt me. I appreciate your concern, but you don't need to worry about us. He was very gentle and that's the _last_ I'm saying on the matter."

"All right, all right, jeeze, show a little concern for your friend's well-being and he bites your head off."

Cloud sighed; he was far too on edge to deal with this. "I'm going to bed, I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

"All right, Spiky. Have a good sleep. I really was just worried about you."

"I know, thanks." Cloud waved tiredly and padded off down the hall to his bedroom. He flopped on the bed and wrapped the blankets around him. He tossed and turned for what felt like several hours before getting up and retrieving Mini-Cloud from his shelf. He tried everything he could think of to relax, but nothing worked; his brain was on overdrive and it wouldn't stop thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong tomorrow.

Eventually, he gave up on sleep and turned his lamp on. The clock said it was only shortly after twelve; Sephiroth was probably still up. He grabbed his PHS and sent him a quick mail.

 _u awake?_

 _Yeah, why are you?_ Was the reply he got a minute or so later.

 _Can't sleep. worried bout tomorrow._

 _Telling you there's nothing to worry about probably won't work, will it? Sit tight, I'll come over, okay? Just to sleep._

 _k, thx_

Cloud took Mini-Cloud out to the hall with him to wait for Sephiroth to show up. It wasn't long before Sephiroth appeared on the monitor next to the entrance and Cloud quietly opened the door, hoping he wouldn't wake up Zack. Sephiroth smiled at him as he stepped in. He was carrying what looked like everything he was bringing on the mission. Somehow, the image of Sephiroth carrying Masamune while wearing pyjamas just didn't work. But that was okay, Sephiroth had come over just for him and Cloud thought he had never been so grateful in his life. He took one of Sephiroth's bags from him and led the way to the bedroom.

Zack was standing out in the hallway and shook his head. "You'd better not keep me up," was all he said before shutting the door to his room.

Cloud set the bag down in the corner and Sephiroth placed the rest of his things next to it. He turned to Cloud and hugged him tightly, stroking his hair the way Cloud found so comforting. "Let's get some sleep, all right?"

"All right. Thank you, Sephiroth."

"It's no problem, I was missing having you next to me too." Sephiroth gently pushed him over to the bed and Cloud got in. Sephiroth followed and Cloud snuggled in close.

"Next time, I think we should just ignore what Zack says and do what we want from the start."

"I think that's an excellent plan. What does he know, anyways?"

"Not much." Cloud tilted his head up and kissed Sephiroth softly. "Goodnight."

"'Night, Cloud. Sleep well."

"I will, now. Same goes for you."


End file.
